holiday parental i.t. dept, reporting for duty (part 2)

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Another year, another system to clean up.

Seriously, where does my dad FIND this shit? I think i've been able to stop them from installing any new toolbars, but now random annoying "virus protectors" seem to be popping up everywhere.

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 05:52 (twelve years ago) link

Original sandbox thread here, contains holiday-related kvetchings and robyn's delicious neon cookies

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 05:53 (twelve years ago) link

when people want to save web pages like word documents....

BLASTOCYST, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:00 (twelve years ago) link

It could be worse, I guess, my folks could still be at the stage that some are where they try to open a website by typing into into a blank Word doc.

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:04 (twelve years ago) link

you really just have to train them to use firefox. then make sure to install a bunch of transparent plugins (adblock + filterset.g) - after they get used to looking at the web without any annoying shit blowing up everywhere they won't WANT to use IE anymore, presto, no more fake "spyware blockers"

my favorite helpdesk call of late was my landladies upstairs (one of whom is a therapist) needing me to get the HD out of their old tower to avoid possible HIPAA lawsuits. crank, crank, unscrew, unscrew, pry, pop, here you go ma'am thank you for understanding and adhering to the law

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:08 (twelve years ago) link

"we don't even know what a hard drive looks like"

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:08 (twelve years ago) link

Dare I ask what the HIPAA are?

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:10 (twelve years ago) link

portion of the HIPAA legislation has provisions specifying patient privacy requirements. You know, that stuff the VA hospital system fucks up royally once every half hour.

For example, they require that your doctor's office keep those polarized screens on monitors so that only the clinician looking at the computer can read your records - this is, by the way, the best thing to happen to the 3M corporation since the Post-It.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:18 (twelve years ago) link

Ohhhh, so what do people do with the drives? smash 'em with hammers? toss them off the roof?

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:26 (twelve years ago) link

lock them in a safe, do a seven wipe on the fucker with a bootable copy of knoppix STD, microwave the platter (hilarious, also, boom). the seven-wipe or lockup methods are most advised since that pretty much covers your due diligence.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:30 (twelve years ago) link

Oh God, I am so dreading the way this stuff sneaks up on you this time of year. Forgotten passwords, installing printer drivers, bad mp3 player consumer choices, you name it . . . .

Drew Daniel, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:51 (twelve years ago) link

It starts early this year, since I'm in Loudon, TN, from like today until the 1st, with a 4-day break to travel to michigan.

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 06:53 (twelve years ago) link

I'm so glad my parents are lifelong mac people and my dad is an engineer at heart

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 07:08 (twelve years ago) link

although I will be spending like 6 hours of xmas eve and a 12 on the 25th sitting in the UNITED STATES HOMELAND HELPDESK so really, you guys think you have it bad, how about fuck you

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 07:09 (twelve years ago) link

oh and I forgot to add - the NoScript add-on for FireFox will pretty much ensure that whomever can't get owned by most if not all current bitchsploitz so plz plz also try to talk your folks into that as well if at all possible

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 07:12 (twelve years ago) link

I don't have to DO the I.T. work here at home, but I do have to (attempt to) use the computer. Freakin Norton won't allow half the world's perfectly normal commercial websites (like, oh, say, NETFLIX) to connect, the link to "Internet Security Help" is DEAD and does nothing...quite frankly I can't believe I can log into ILX.

Laurel, Thursday, 20 December 2007 16:28 (twelve years ago) link

And my parents won't leave the computer on overnight because night-time is when the hackers and spies and identity thieves sneak onto the interweb and rob you blind/install viruses.

Laurel, Thursday, 20 December 2007 16:29 (twelve years ago) link

you should convince them that running the computer at night is the equivalent of leaving a light on in the house when you are away

elmo argonaut, Thursday, 20 December 2007 16:33 (twelve years ago) link

You know, that stuff the VA hospital system fucks up royally once every half hour.

hi dere, part of my old job was self-reporting this shit to the undersecretary's office.

chicago kevin, Thursday, 20 December 2007 17:20 (twelve years ago) link

i set up soulseek for my dad last year and my mom yelled at me because FILESHARING IS ILLEGAL

bell_labs, Thursday, 20 December 2007 17:22 (twelve years ago) link

What are they gonna do, p...

Laurel, Thursday, 20 December 2007 17:30 (twelve years ago) link

Apparently the cat thought that joke was in bad taste, she just sat on my hands (on the keyboard).

Laurel, Thursday, 20 December 2007 17:30 (twelve years ago) link

wow kevin I am so sorry, ugh

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 17:37 (twelve years ago) link

my favorite helpdesk call of late was my landladies upstairs (one of whom is a therapist) needing me to get the HD out of their old tower to avoid possible HIPAA lawsuits. crank, crank, unscrew, unscrew, pry, pop, here you go ma'am thank you for understanding and adhering to the law

I read this as "the rapist", but I guess I never thought about HIPAA at that scale.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 20 December 2007 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

i set up soulseek for my dad last year and my mom yelled at me because FILESHARING IS ILLEGAL

-- bell_labs, Thursday, December 20, 2007 12:22 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

and look what happened!!!!!

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 20 December 2007 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

sorry poor taste

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 20 December 2007 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

wow kevin I am so sorry, ugh

-- El Tomboto, Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:37 AM (Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:37 AM) Bookmark Link

fuck don't be, that was one of the easiest parts of that job. every couple of days i'd have to send an email to the DUSHM's office saying "someone in milwaukee sent an unencrypted email that contained ppi" or "a file containing ppi was left unattended in an unlocked area". then a couple days later i'd follow up at the facility level about what steps they took to guard against it happening again. usually just some bullshit answer like "gonna lock the door" or whatever.

it was pretty much a case of paying real strict attention to dust on the carpet while the house is on fire.

chicago kevin, Thursday, 20 December 2007 18:25 (twelve years ago) link

jon wtf?

bell_labs, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:15 (twelve years ago) link

see kevin over here our one (1) hardline requirement is that reports of PPI/PII/PHI whatever have to be shot up to the white house and the OMB within one hour of receipt so they can figure out how many hapless bastards they have to cover for free credit monitoring for the next five years

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:19 (twelve years ago) link

I think we should all pause for a moment and recognize that jon willamamamams just admitted a joke he made was in poor taste and immediately apologized

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:20 (twelve years ago) link

i actually don't mind doing parental IT as long as i don't have to explain anything. it never helps anyway.

mookieproof, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:45 (twelve years ago) link

see kevin over here our one (1) hardline requirement is that reports of PPI/PII/PHI whatever have to be shot up to the white house and the OMB within one hour of receipt so they can figure out how many hapless bastards they have to cover for free credit monitoring for the next five years

well, as you said earlier, between VHA and VBA it would literally happen every single day somewhere. we'd get a list every morning from the deputy undersecretary's office that had every infraction from the prior day and i think the shortest list i saw was 12 pages.

chicago kevin, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:51 (twelve years ago) link

wow jon, you're a dick!

ian, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:52 (twelve years ago) link

i don't get it

sexyDancer, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:56 (twelve years ago) link

should I just delete all these nb beefposts

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

before somebody explains the "joke"

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

oh wait this is on the NB hahahaha

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:00 (twelve years ago) link

the drug is called excelsior and it is killing us all

-cutty

sanskrit, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:12 (twelve years ago) link

jon i'm not ashamed of my dad being in jail, so it's not like your zings hurt or anything, but it's still a dick move!

bell_labs, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:21 (twelve years ago) link

I still can't believe he realized it and said sorry though

El Tomboto, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:23 (twelve years ago) link

oh, jon

jeff, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

In other news, am currently trolling the limited selection of used laptops on the local CL. I needs a wireless device for the rest of my time in knoxville and my michigan jaunt.

kingfish, Thursday, 20 December 2007 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

Guess where the wireless hub set up by yours truly last year now resides!!

if you said, disconnected and sitting in a drawer because someone claims it keeps knocking him off the internet and someone else used her laptop for about two months, you are correct!

kingfish, Friday, 21 December 2007 23:24 (twelve years ago) link

In the rents' defense, that's exactly where my wireless hub is now (because it never worked reliably, and I realized at some point that my bedroom was not nearly big enough to justify going back and buying a better one)

nabisco, Friday, 21 December 2007 23:37 (twelve years ago) link

9:30 CONFERENCE CALL ON SATURDAY MORNING WITH THE FUCKING CIO

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 December 2007 15:41 (twelve years ago) link

I think some people may have been misreading my intent upthred.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Saturday, 22 December 2007 17:21 (twelve years ago) link

Why does the CIO at work on a saturday?

kingfish, Saturday, 22 December 2007 19:36 (twelve years ago) link

6 hours on thursday removing rich codec(?) virus from brother's pc (took 3 hours for a full scan, another 3 hours to spot the problem, am not a windows guy). most of today removing trash from uncle's old laptop and installing stuff on it that mother wants. trying to stop 'muz aod app' phoning home whenever mp3 player software starts up (it adds *itself* as trusted app to microsoft firewall every time, can it do that? slightly less annoying now it's not trying to use the non-existent dialup modem...). registry edits to stop crap installing itself into task bar and bringing laptop to its knees on bootup (is only a 800MHz Duron (actually a nice vaio, but a 2001 model). will do for web / email)

their favourite task for me though is rewiring / retuning all the videos / tvs. every single year...

koogs, Saturday, 22 December 2007 20:01 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.personalfirewall.comodo.com/ ???

mookieproof, Saturday, 22 December 2007 20:08 (twelve years ago) link

get the sunbelt one

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 December 2007 20:33 (twelve years ago) link

i am going to pitch Apple Remote Desktop to my family tomorrow; if they front the money, I'll troubleshoot their computers from the comfort of my own home.

gbx, Monday, 24 December 2007 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

o
m
g

trying

but at least there are cookies and ham and (soon) turkey
and also the beach and w33d

rrrobyn, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:21 (twelve years ago) link

and coffee
and love

rrrobyn, Monday, 24 December 2007 22:21 (twelve years ago) link

No turkey tonight, but we did have shrimp. I got to figure out how to put 4 dvdr worth of video of my infink nephew onto the parents computer and set it up so's they can easily watch it. Apparently half the vid is stuff that my brother meant to send me ealier in the year, but was too lazy/forgetful to.

kingfish, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:07 (twelve years ago) link

you have an infinite nephew?

s1ocki, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 02:22 (twelve years ago) link

no, infink. A.k.a. ratfink.

kingfish, Tuesday, 25 December 2007 03:43 (twelve years ago) link

Ah fuck me, what a great way to start the new year, having to show the idiot again how to use his dvd program to watch the dvdrs again.

kingfish, Tuesday, 1 January 2008 06:02 (twelve years ago) link

Last year I introduced my dad to Bittorrent and this year he is ranting about dupes, bad uploads and how great axxo is and how it's a shame he seems to have disappeared. wtf?

caek, Tuesday, 1 January 2008 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

fixed mom's printer

also bought her a new universal remote AND programmed it

son of the year here, folks

The Macallan 18 Year, Tuesday, 1 January 2008 21:30 (twelve years ago) link

eleven months pass...

Wireless now up and running again, 50-odd un-resized photos of nephew taken by his grandparents now emailed to bro & sis-in-law, time to begin another season.

Vault Boy Bobblehead - Drinking (kingfish), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 05:43 (eleven years ago) link

try to introduce parents to flickr, y/n? i bet i'd set it up and they'd never use it again.

apple (jergins), Wednesday, 24 December 2008 05:44 (eleven years ago) link

i am going to pitch Apple Remote Desktop to my family tomorrow; if they front the money, I'll troubleshoot their computers from the comfort of my own home.

― gbx, Monday, December 24, 2007 3:56 PM

o man i need to do this

eman, Wednesday, 24 December 2008 06:13 (eleven years ago) link

Okay, just set up at least two different satnav rigs for family members.

Vault Boy Bobblehead - Drinking (kingfish), Thursday, 25 December 2008 22:28 (eleven years ago) link

eleven months pass...

Get ready for another round

kingfish, Saturday, 12 December 2009 23:52 (ten years ago) link

Is it wrong to come here only this time of year?
I remember this thread from the sandbox.

nother, Wednesday, 23 December 2009 02:52 (ten years ago) link

not looking fwd to this

leave garbage snickers eat snickers leave garbage (jeff), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 04:07 (ten years ago) link

http://www.sentience.com/num50bp.gif

shartin jort (am0n), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 04:28 (ten years ago) link

yay, girlfriend's parents being computer literate!

forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 17:27 (ten years ago) link

So far, only had to run the NOD or whatever scan it is, and completely updated the parents' Garmin rig and my sister's Wii.

kingfish, Thursday, 24 December 2009 16:22 (ten years ago) link

"The laptop has got really slow"

caek, Friday, 25 December 2009 00:16 (ten years ago) link

"I'm too old to learn Apple"

caek, Friday, 25 December 2009 00:17 (ten years ago) link

AND had to explain repeatedly and in great detail why you couldn't have a fax machine(that answers after the 2nd ring) and an answering machine(4th ring) on the same line and have both work properly

kingfish, Saturday, 26 December 2009 03:14 (ten years ago) link

didn't have to do this!!!!!!!

deej--nuts, butthurt, and yelly (gbx), Saturday, 26 December 2009 03:24 (ten years ago) link

"how do i paste a picture into my email" using gmail was the worst of it, i think they are learning
got an annoying gps for the car though despite not really having a problem getting lost

welcome to gudbergur (harbl), Saturday, 26 December 2009 03:33 (ten years ago) link

we couldn't work out how to get the wii to connect with the wifi; i'm not sure what the guy who installed them did, but I can't seem to get it to accept a wireless connection even w/pswd

forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 26 December 2009 03:53 (ten years ago) link

they didn't ask meto do anything but I had to set up mu xbox and that lead to a tv wiring autopsy. whoever set up their system left some monster cable hanging there, connected to nothing. pretty lol.

leave garbage snickers eat snickers leave garbage (jeff), Saturday, 26 December 2009 06:17 (ten years ago) link

set up dsl with wireless router for them; dad wants to know if that means he can now print his sudoku puzzles from the internet at home, rather than having to go to work to do this.

sarahel, Saturday, 26 December 2009 06:35 (ten years ago) link

I made the (possible) mistake of getting my dad a laptop with Windows 7 installed. He's never had a laptop before, nor has he used Windows 7. I've been on the phone to support him twice so far.

mh, Monday, 28 December 2009 17:34 (ten years ago) link

roku netflix box setup lols

shartin jort (am0n), Monday, 28 December 2009 17:41 (ten years ago) link

"can you put a movie on itunes?"

welcome to gudbergur (harbl), Monday, 28 December 2009 22:18 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Hi, dear son.
Thank you so much for the purple print. Now I get it that these pixels are not text. Kept thinking one should be able to just click on it... When you come, maybe show me how to pixel. Also, are these now ONLY purple, or can I print them any color?

Snop Snitchin, Monday, 1 March 2010 16:19 (ten years ago) link

two years pass...

reporting for doodie

♨ (am0n), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:02 (seven years ago) link

- firefox upgraded
- safari toolbar brought back

♨ (am0n), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:04 (seven years ago) link

Ha just posted one of these on the 'home for the holidays' thread. My dad said he had emailed the makers of a dodgy toolbar he had unwittingly installed to ask how to remove it. Last Christmas
with the family I had to un-italicise all browser text. I have no idea how they do these things!

kinder, Monday, 24 December 2012 19:18 (seven years ago) link

  • relative #1 wants to buy an iPad. I don't own one and know nothing about them and have said so. Not getting involved.
  • relative #2 has problems with the battery on their mobile not keeping a charge for more than a couple of days. Not getting involved.
  • relative #2, again, has problems using e-mail, specifically remembering which button to click on to reply to an e-mail. I prompted them with the suggestion that, er, could it possibly be 'Reply'? Minimal involvement.
  • relative #3 has problems finding stuff online, but their pride means they won't ask anyone for help. Don't have to get involved.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:21 (seven years ago) link

Fortunately vital network settings on Win7 are buried so far down in a labyrinthine menu structure that it's not possible for the casual user to even find them, never mind change them.
New router seems to be holding up as well. I'm not going to tell them that all kinds of funky NAS shit can be achieved with the USB on the back though.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:24 (seven years ago) link

My mother's i.t. requirements are actually pretty low, considering she's 80. Occasionally I have to load new images into her jigsaw puzzle game. When I brought her TV back to life a few months ago (firmware update) you would have thought I'd performed a successful exorcism on it.

WilliamC, Monday, 24 December 2012 19:25 (seven years ago) link

"Your mother sucks co-ax in hell!"

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:26 (seven years ago) link

Relative #2's Kindle also seems to be working out OK. It's one of the simple ones (the Kindle not the relative), but I was concerned that it would be a whole load of problems. Configuring it for the wireless network was a pain, but once that was done all there was was a brief "what does the battery indicator look like?" "a battery" "oh" conversation.

I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Monday, 24 December 2012 19:31 (seven years ago) link

Rob Hyde ‏@rob_hyde
'Why the fuck did you install Yahoo toolbar?' - millions of people using the computer at their parents' places a minute ago

乒乓, Monday, 24 December 2012 19:44 (seven years ago) link

I really need to update OS X on my mom's laptop, which I may tackle this week.

I am really asking for trouble in taking them an Apple TV, aren't I?

mh, Monday, 24 December 2012 21:55 (seven years ago) link

i have heard the nutcracker on public radio at least three times in 48 hours

mookieproof, Tuesday, 25 December 2012 01:29 (seven years ago) link

o wait, this is it

mookieproof, Tuesday, 25 December 2012 01:30 (seven years ago) link

haha my mom had the nutcracker on yesterday too, just once though.

I thought I'd avoided IT dept holidays duty, because my mom has gone mac, but no. Just the usual re: every tiny thing that doesn't work perfectly is understood as a disaster rather than a blip to figure out. I'm more patient than I used to be, at least.

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 26 December 2012 03:19 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

just removed 2 aol toolbars powered by ask jeeves

wwhy shrek is piss (am0n), Thursday, 25 December 2014 18:34 (five years ago) link

mom realized the beeps she heard were indicators she had received text messages on her iphone

mom only takes 3 minutes to figure out how to delete messages

Mistah FAAB (sarahell), Thursday, 25 December 2014 19:05 (five years ago) link

My relatives are divided into those with practically no interest in technology, aside from maybe an e-reader and a PAYG mobile, and those who have owned some kind of computer for over 30 years, yet still don't know WTF they are doing, but won't ask anyone for help. In the latter group is a relative who's had a new Win8 laptop for the last 4 months but still hasn't got to grips with it, despite buying one of those thick Dummies 14-in-one books on Win8. So they're still using, at the same time, their 3 year old Win7 laptop that makes a noise like quadcopter. Refurbishing laptops is a big part of my actual 9-5 job. So I'd get to work on that with a can of compressed air, perhaps more RAM, swap out the HDD for an SDD maybe, reinstall Win7, maybe dual boot some flavour of Linux. But no, because this person will not admit to not knowing everything. Although in this case I dislike them intensely, so wvs.

just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Thursday, 25 December 2014 20:07 (five years ago) link

Also, the Win7 laptop has so much adware and other crap installed on it, when IE is running, the top half of the screen is toolbars.

just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Thursday, 25 December 2014 20:09 (five years ago) link

Oh and said relative keeps putting off running Java Update for some reason, even though it would take five minutes at most.

just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Thursday, 25 December 2014 20:26 (five years ago) link

four years pass...

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