list junk food dressed up for yuppies who are too smart for junk food

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It's junk food dressed up for yuppies who are too smart for junk food. With the exception of the Multi-Vitamin one, the Vitamin content is negligible.

It goes perfect with a power bar (that contains 20g of sugar).

-- Steve Shasta, Wednesday, June 13, 2007 5:46 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

and what, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:26 (twelve years ago) link

Jamba Juice

milo z, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:28 (twelve years ago) link

granola
any soy product that would be considered 'junky' if made with real milk - chocolate soy milk, soy ice cream, etc.

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:28 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.robscape.com/gifs/products/smart-puffs.jpg

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:30 (twelve years ago) link

any soy product that would be considered 'junky' if made with real milk - chocolate soy milk, soy ice cream, etc.

ANYTHING @ FOODSWINGS!!!!

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:31 (twelve years ago) link

see also:
http://www.goodhealthnaturalfoods.com/pictures/stixpg/Vstixlg.jpg
xpost

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:32 (twelve years ago) link

ANYTHING @ FOODSWINGS!!!!

do you really think anyone goes to foodswings thinking they're about to eat healthy?

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:33 (twelve years ago) link

also, shasta OTM about most energy / protein bars -- you think you are eating smart when it's really a 500 calorie sneak attack

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:33 (twelve years ago) link

foodswings is fucking horrible! i am convinced that vegans just hate food and thus try to make it as unappetizing as possible.

bell_labs, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:34 (twelve years ago) link

do you really think anyone goes to foodswings thinking they're about to eat healthy?

FIXED

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:35 (twelve years ago) link

hahaha

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:37 (twelve years ago) link

the vegans i know hate foodswings, too. one told me in all seriousness that he'd rather have a burger than go there.

lauren, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:39 (twelve years ago) link

Foodswings = missed connection central

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

the vegans i know hate foodswings, too. one told me in all seriousness that he'd rather have a burger than go there.

I wager that your friends don't define themselves by their dietary and bicycle asceticism.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:42 (twelve years ago) link

The health food aisle in the grocery store is like 75% organic potato chips & cookies.

Jordan, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:42 (twelve years ago) link

The Frappucino. Seems like it would be obvious - but I see so many women drinkin them that look like they would never in a million years order a chocolate milkshake

Hurting 2, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:42 (twelve years ago) link

ah, see jordan, most stores have renamed it the "natural foods" aisle so they can't be accused of calling it health food when it's not healthy.

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:43 (twelve years ago) link

i think i am guilty of this because i had SOY mac & cheese for lunch today??

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:44 (twelve years ago) link

elmo, are you lactose intolerant? if so it's ok.

bell_labs, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:45 (twelve years ago) link

I'm trying to avoid carb loading all the time. I met a dude who looked like a thin Irmin Schmidt from Can Free Conecert who told me that you should always be hungry.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:45 (twelve years ago) link

Jamba Juice is absurd. Just because it's sort of healthy to drink a six ounce glass of juice doesn't mean it's healthy to drink five of them mixed with sherbert in one sitting.

Hurting 2, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:46 (twelve years ago) link

bell labs, i am not but i am trying to cut down on animal fats (except bacon)

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:47 (twelve years ago) link

i am guilty of the soy mac and also tofutti cuties are my secret shame.

bell_labs, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:48 (twelve years ago) link

tofutti cuties 8080

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:48 (twelve years ago) link

yeah tofutti cuties are seriously addicting...

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:48 (twelve years ago) link

but honestly i know they're not healthy and do not eat them to try and fool myself, regular ice cream just makes stomach sad.

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:49 (twelve years ago) link

i crave the soy cheese pizza from viva herbal on 2nd avenue.

lauren, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:51 (twelve years ago) link

how eat something called tofutti?

jhøshea, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:52 (twelve years ago) link

tofutti p-orridge?

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:53 (twelve years ago) link

lol

bell_labs, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:53 (twelve years ago) link

weird i was xplaining how bad things like bocca burgers and tofu pups are for you last night

re: s shastas powerbar truths!: a few xcellent lines in nick toshe's sushi story in vanity fair last month about the silliness that is powerbars and the not healthyness of "sushi" in general (in you kids didn't read that story go somewhere and do it....starts a bit rough but its great)

my lady freind pointed out how hillarious genius tofurkey is....faux turkey...

bb, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:54 (twelve years ago) link

Are bocca burgers THAT bad? I know they must be when I cook them with tons of olive oil

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:55 (twelve years ago) link

"healthy" fat-kid gas-station foods imply more self-loathing than regular fat-kid gas-station foods, true / false?

http://www.reallynatural.com/archives/pictures/FLnatcheetos-thumb.jpg

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:55 (twelve years ago) link

i say true. seriously, you're eating cheetos! who are you kidding?!

tehresa, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:56 (twelve years ago) link

I've never seen those!

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:56 (twelve years ago) link

tofurkey just makes me think of turducken, which i am much more interested in trying.

bell_labs, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:56 (twelve years ago) link

yes!!!!

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:57 (twelve years ago) link

boca burgers is owned by philip morris

and what, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 18:58 (twelve years ago) link

Re frappucino: they're not that much like milkshakes in that they're made with crushed ice instead of blended ice cream. Which is why they're basically not creamy, it's just frozen water and not fat for that lovely lovely mouth-feel.

Laurel, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:00 (twelve years ago) link

they have a dairy mix as a base, i believe.

lauren, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:01 (twelve years ago) link

certain foods being not as healthy as advertised is really not shocking at all! and honestly it probably is better for you to eat the all-natural cheetos just to avoid preservatives & dubious cheese color.

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:01 (twelve years ago) link

Hmmm that could be. I think I've never had one...? But those blenders they put in are deffo made for ice, that shit is hardcore.

Laurel, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:02 (twelve years ago) link

boca burgers is owned by philip morris

O_o @ cosmos

strongohulkington, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:02 (twelve years ago) link

probably a good place to re-link to that NYT article that was discussed a while back

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/28/magazine/28nutritionism.t.html?ei=5088&en=7c85a1c254546157&ex=1327640400&pagewanted=all

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:03 (twelve years ago) link

SMARTFOOD

s1ocki, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:16 (twelve years ago) link

the thing is bocca burgers are just full of odd processed stuff and wheat gluten and so on...one occasionally is fine, but people that think theyre being healthy or ethical are deluding themselves. their junk food and poor substitute for meat...

turducken is fantastic...but really a bit much...its fun and tastey, but kind of a waste. you really would be better off with 4 seperate small portions of well cooked birds.

bb, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:22 (twelve years ago) link

what's wrong with gluten? i mean, provided you don't have celiac disease

elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:28 (twelve years ago) link

nothing really wrong there, just not "good" for you. our bodies don't love wheat to begin with but, (like anything) in moderation it won't come near hurting you..

i worked in a veggie freindly kitchen for a while...the problem with this stuff is that you get people that "want" to be "vegetarian" but dont do the work to find out how to eat that way or change their lifestyle....they think they can just eat these meat substitutes and its good for them....the same people wouldnt eat hotdogs for every meal, but when they see "morningstar farms" on the box they think theyre doing something different and/or decent.

bb, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:35 (twelve years ago) link

Isn't it generally bad for :

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 19:36 (twelve years ago) link

boca burgers is owned by philip morris

-- and what, Wednesday, June 13, 2007 6:58 PM (2 hours ago)

It's called Altria and they even own your poop.

Hurting 2, Wednesday, 13 June 2007 21:30 (twelve years ago) link

hahahaha

smooth hymnal (m bison), Friday, 16 May 2014 03:19 (five years ago) link

This stuff makes me IA

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 May 2014 07:02 (five years ago) link

drink #4 literally costs like a nickel to make and i bet they charge at least $3 because of that smart looking bottle smh

smooth hymnal (m bison), Friday, 16 May 2014 10:25 (five years ago) link

"charge three prices for it." is nearly on some "first two coasts" shit.

how's life, Friday, 16 May 2014 10:49 (five years ago) link

lol $3 try like $8, xp

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 May 2014 15:23 (five years ago) link

http://blueprintcleanse.com/

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 May 2014 15:24 (five years ago) link

yeah but it drains your butt

famous instagram God (waterface), Friday, 16 May 2014 15:24 (five years ago) link

Cashew&
Vanilla&
Cinnamon&
Agave.

, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:25 (five years ago) link

hate to say it, but, clif and luna bars, right? i mean, the shit is candy bars

goole, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:33 (five years ago) link

oh totally. i quite a vicious clif bar habit a couple years back.

call all destroyer, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:46 (five years ago) link

for sure, as far as sugar content goes. but tbf they usually have more fiber, protein, and other stuff that a candy bar wouldn't.

marcos, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:53 (five years ago) link

power bars too?

markers, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:54 (five years ago) link

i like the peanut butter ones

markers, Friday, 16 May 2014 15:54 (five years ago) link

Cashew&
Vanilla&
Cinnamon&
Agave.

― 龜, Friday, May 16, 2014 11:25 AM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I WANTED THAT ONE SO BAD a few weeks back because i like all those things but then I saw it was $8 and I just couldn't.

Think Thin bars don't have any sugar and are OK but not as tasty as Lara bars though though are probably more whole.

Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Friday, 16 May 2014 16:00 (five years ago) link

yea $8 is absurd. shit. you can get an entire falafel sandwich for $8, and that's still a ripoff. you can get a falafel for $2.50 someplaces.

marcos, Friday, 16 May 2014 16:05 (five years ago) link

eight seltzers.

markers, Friday, 16 May 2014 16:06 (five years ago) link

or seven if there's tax.

markers, Friday, 16 May 2014 16:06 (five years ago) link

clif bars are designed for when you're burning hella calories & packing light

°ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Friday, 16 May 2014 16:55 (five years ago) link

I take Clif bars along when I am wilderness trekking, but Snickers work almost as well, so the candy bar analogy isn't far off the mark.

king of chin-stroking banality (Aimless), Friday, 16 May 2014 17:01 (five years ago) link

clif bars are designed for when you're burning hella calories & packing light

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Friday, May 16, 2014 11:55 AM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my morning commute is pretty gnar

goole, Friday, 16 May 2014 17:45 (five years ago) link

tho i flipped to lara bars recently. the key lime ones are goddesslike.

goole, Friday, 16 May 2014 17:45 (five years ago) link

I've been weaning myself off snack bars and it's definitely helping me lose weight.

Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 May 2014 18:21 (five years ago) link

man i want a whole mess of lara bars right now, shiyet

smooth hymnal (m bison), Saturday, 17 May 2014 02:54 (five years ago) link

aimless is no thread safe from your chin stroking banality

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, May 15, 2014 10:16 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah man you gotta juice your vegetables and eat your fruits whole! fruit juice is mostly just sugar without any of the fibers. the fibers are the good stuff, that's what your body really wants!

put that brick @ u face (een), Saturday, 17 May 2014 03:06 (five years ago) link

- Aimless

put that brick @ u face (een), Saturday, 17 May 2014 03:07 (five years ago) link

"Any highly processed snack food", no loaded words there nope

brimstead, Saturday, 17 May 2014 03:10 (five years ago) link

for sure, as far as sugar content goes. but tbf they usually have more fiber, protein, and other stuff that a candy bar wouldn't.

also, the sugar content in them comes from more benign sources than hfcs.

fit and working again, Saturday, 17 May 2014 03:17 (five years ago) link

"Any highly processed snack food", no loaded words there nope

You got me all wrong, brimstead. I always eat my cabbage in the form of triangular chip.

king of chin-stroking banality (Aimless), Saturday, 17 May 2014 03:59 (five years ago) link

you're missing out, cabbage is a wonderful even as accessorial ruffage.

brimstead, Saturday, 17 May 2014 04:27 (five years ago) link

raw juice is good even though it is high sugar and low fiber because of enzymes and phytochemicals. smoothies are better because you retain the fiber. in general, you shouldn't be scared of the sugar in raw fruit for the most part unless you are eating it in extreme quantities.

Treeship, Saturday, 17 May 2014 04:39 (five years ago) link

i think the worst offender of junk food that appeals to whole foods shoppers is artisanal soda, like virgil's. soda is evil imho.

Treeship, Saturday, 17 May 2014 04:44 (five years ago) link

This thread inspired me to buy some Chia seed tortilla chips yesterday.

how's life, Saturday, 17 May 2014 10:26 (five years ago) link

i've had virgils, aint nothing evil about that sweet sweet root beer

smooth hymnal (m bison), Saturday, 17 May 2014 12:38 (five years ago) link

reed's ginger beer is my weakness

clouds, Monday, 19 May 2014 14:50 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

i used to eat these a lot and then stopped and then my grocery store started stocking them for 1.19 so i bought six and i have eaten three today
http://www.primalspiritfoods.com/images/products/PrimalStrips/flavor_group_large_mesquite_lime.jpg
75 calories apiece! very tasty! maybe high in sodium is the only thing
http://www.primalspiritfoods.com/products_flavor_details.php#MesquiteLime

Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Friday, 18 September 2015 19:27 (three years ago) link

I gave my three-year-old a luna bar and she really liked it = it is a candy bar

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 18 September 2015 19:32 (three years ago) link

I have been eating zone perfect bars after workouts though because I am buying into that whole protein+carbs immediately after working out thing, plus I kind of feel like I need a little sugar boost when I'm beat from a workout, plus I read that giving yourself a little sweet after a workout is a good way to help build an exercise habit (because it's a "reward" in a pavlovian sense). Also they are cheap at Costco.

So far the "reward" part I guess is working because I've hit the gym 3x week every week for four months straight.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 18 September 2015 19:34 (three years ago) link

literally my entire diet belongs in this thread, i have put on like 30 pounds in the last couple of years, envy my life

zoso def (m bison), Saturday, 19 September 2015 02:52 (three years ago) link

three years pass...

“I don’t think much has changed in the energy bar landscape—just more crowded!” writes Eskin, who still works as a food writer for the Tribune and other outlets. “The culture of the time focused on athletes—who presumably ‘needed’ quick, portable nutrition—and everyone else who wanted to seem just as buff and busy.”

Long read on the rise of the power/protein bar:

https://www.topic.com/hard-to-swallow

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 15:54 (two weeks ago) link

This thread has everything.

Yerac, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 16:20 (two weeks ago) link

here's a good example I discovered recently

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51E71WaNp-L._SX522_.jpg

Just 10g of protein and 300 calories, with likely less than half of that protein even coming from "crickets." $36 for 12 on Amazon.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:12 (two weeks ago) link

Admittedly I am probably way too reliant on Kirkland protein bars, premier protein shakes, and various brands of vegetable protein powder for nutrition. Sometimes I wonder if it does me any good at all.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:13 (two weeks ago) link

I don't really think people eat Beyond burgers types of things to be healthier? I could be wrong. I still haven't been able to try them. Boca burgers have always sucked so bad otm all above.

Yerac, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:38 (two weeks ago) link

That piece on protein bars is depressing. It's Lunchables for adults. I thought the era for them ended in the early part of this decade. I was obv wrong. The last time I bought one was when I was going 5 day hiking/camping and needed to carry all my food in.

Yerac, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 17:44 (two weeks ago) link

Can you still get those Powerbars that were like a thin slabs of tar?

brimstead, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 20:28 (two weeks ago) link


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