list junk food dressed up for yuppies who are too smart for junk food

spiiiiruliiiiinnnaaaaa

everybody is on the money. i could read this thread all day. i seriously have a work-eating problem lately. i am eating waaaaaaay too much crap. and just way too much in general. i don't know what's wrong with me. must be stress. or something. yesterday at work, i ate an entire bag of chocolate biscotti and then later ate an entire tub of kozy shack tapioca pudding. and i had 2 coca cola. and a bag of chips. oh, and a sandwich in there somewhere (lean roast beef and jarlsberg and spicy mustard on a bagel).

i need more good things disguised/dressed up as good things. so many bags of heavy laundry to lift all night though. gotta keep my strength up!

oh and i am also doing that thing where i just drink coffee till noon and don't eat anything. and then finally i remember to eat something. and then go to work. my day is weird!

sorry for the complaints.

gotta run!

(i eat better on my days off. and i cook nice things for the fam.)

I had CORN tonight.

..

...

NOM NOM NOM

microwavable bags of vegetables have saved me from junkfood worklunch death , i tend to eat a whole bag at lunch with a small serving of protein or something. balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, & kosher seasalt at my desk at work now, haha.

I bought a box of organic corn flakes tonight, that say they're 'coated in cane sugar for flavor' or something.

Unhealthy, but at least it isn't loaded with HFCS like Kellogg's (hueg disappointment, dry corn flakes are my favorite snack food ever).

ok, so one good thing about bodegas vs. expensive manhattan delis:

25 cent bags of chips = you can eat a whole bag and not be a fat fuck

fuck you huge bag of chips

yeah, fuck you dorito breath

also fuck you yuppie douchebag who went studs up on me and then flopped when my running = him tripping over his own feet.

although LOL when he called me Skippy McElbows

actually not really

i eats whole bags of chips ALL THE TIME.
when do iget fattey?
did i tell you guys about how a dude at the pizza place yesterday told me i reminded him of napoleon dynamite? he says to me, "wow you got a good appetite!" and i say "yeah, this is the first i've eaten all day." (it is 3:30.) He mumbles to himself for a few minutes about his backpack, and says "you know who you remind me of? uhm, uh, etc." finally he's like "you know, thbat movie.. napoleon dynamite, yeah! that was a good movie. it made you like, watch it, yaknow?" (he repeated this last sentence about 5 times.) then he goes on to explain that the character in the film eats a lot and doesn't gain weight, and he guesses i'm like that too.

He told told me his name was Carlos, and that I was "friendlier than most white people."

Vote for Carlos

Ian I'm not worried about getting fat from eating chips, just spoiling my appetite for other food!

http://www.cannabisculture.com/forums/uploads/18199.jpg

that was a good movie. it made you like, watch it, yaknow?

ha. excellent thing to say about a movie.

i wish this movie would just get out of my face and let me eat my fucking popcorn already

he was more elaborate about it, too. he was all "ya know, i was at home, so i coulda flipped the channel or got up or somethin..."

here's that sushi article that B2 mentions upthread

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/06/sushi200706

those "natural" cheetos mentioned way upthread are really really tasty

Nick Tosches research in that VF article is as sketchy as the research for his Jerry Lee Lewis bio.

Nick Tosches scares me.

He's totally compelling in an evil-M White I-am-getting-v-sleepy/I-must-do-his-bidding kind of way.

Hmm alto looking at GIS mebbe not so much -- but was thinking of this photo:

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/pimages/writers/images/ToschesNick_1l.jpg

the same people wouldnt eat hotdogs for every meal,

wait is this bad

what if they're kosher

he has TH EBEST AUTHOR PHOTO EVER..

but hes creepy. he used to hang out at the lakeside and date one of the bartenders...

shasta's correct on the research end..but i dont xpect an experts view outta that guy...its a fun little piece that gives you somewhere to go and think...and definately provides an angle to reconsider what you think you know.

lips and asso's, pal...but tastey

I prefer to believe that kosher hot dogs are not made out of lips & assholes.

Don't stop believing.

Only the forequarters of the animal are used for kosher processing, including the chuck, rib, navel, brisket and shank. From these pieces, specialists carefully remove the veins, arteries and certain non-acceptable fats. Best Kosher Foods products are made with pure kosher beef from the finest cuts of cattle and use no fillers, extenders or MSG. One can be assured that only the highest quality meat is used in the kosher manufacturing process.

(Jewish propaganda?!)

i like veggie burgers. But I like just grilling a portabello more

xpost Yeah I just found that myself via google. I nevah knew.

http://www.hebrewnational.com/images/pages/kosher/kosher_nonkosher.gif

Even flank and sirloin aren't kosher. Weird.

Yeah man kosher hot dogs are the bomb for quality but suffer in taste b/c no pork products were harmed in the eating of this dog.

I too wd date Tosches if he were less than thirty years older than me -- but then I wdln't have a choice after the Power of Stare was applied, obv.

I cannot believe that kosher butchering wastes a WHOLE HALF A COW god talk about bad stewardship of resources, but okay go ahead and starve in the desert you legendary dumbasses. At least part of that is because when Jacob wrestled the angel, he was struck in the err thigh and lamed for life...so the part of the cow that corresponds to that tendon and the surrounding human musculature is TREYFE.

According to something else I just read, it's not actually unkosher to eat the hindquarters, it's just really fucking hard to properly kosher the hindquarters so it's usually not done. I do hope they sell the halves to the non-kosher meat plant down the street or something.

but suffer in taste b/c no pork products were harmed in the eating of this dog.

RONG

xpost, Laurel your honorary Jewishness is getting out of hand

My beef with Tosches' VF article:

1) His incorrect presumption that edomae (Tokyo style, nigiri-style) sushi is something with centuries of history (esp. with the middle classes) when edomae sushi is probably 60 years of history with the middle classes in Tokyo, def. post WW2.

2) Therefore spending 1,000 words tracing the roots of sushi in English language publications (wow a Library Of Congress keyword search!).

3) His incorrect presumption that sushi means = raw fish. Sushi = su + shi = su + meishi = vinegar and rice. The kanji (chinese character) for sushi is more like "rice snack" which he does actually find reference to in his Library of Congress search for earliest reference, but he somewhat dismisses because the reference predates edomae sushi and was historically correct, but he's taken an unconsciously ahistorical revisionist angle.

Then there's little matters of cultural translation such as him mistaking someone's politeness as an affirmation of fact, or another's frugalness and value as a wholescale declaration of preference. Including a kaiseki restaurant (one of my faves) as one of the keystones in an article on sushi is a completely ill-advised miss.

Some of that stuff is totally amateurish

i'm gonna read it anyway

It's def. readable, just need to keep some things in mind when he's digging deep in his research googlebar.

Jordan: I have no idea what yr talking about. U meshugga.

Anyway the part about Jake wrestling the angel is pure Old Testament stuff, I learned about that as a good little evangelical long before I got my Honorary Jewess card.

Anyway that's why you can't get a real filet mignon at a kosher steakhouse.

i have been eating a lot more sort of sugary food than usual lately. had this berry + granola + skyr yogurt parfait for lunch, which is basically like having dessert and made me really tired - i should know better!

scott my favorite good food disguised as dessert is fage greek yogurt 0% or 2% with like a little bit of honey and a banana sliced in, maybe some walnuts too. that stuff is great. super rich but low fat, low calorie, high protein.

i like veggie burgers that are made of soy and actual vegetables, though i'm not a fan of those boca vegan fake meat texture things.

i went vegetarian again lately for the most part (other than eating up some frozen fish i already had so as not to waste it) and trying to figure out what to cook that isn't high carb is a challenge - i already make tofu, seitan, tempeh.. what else? i had some natto at a sushi place in georgetown & it was pretty good but i can't seem to find any to buy in the stores

Laurel I just mean you know more about it than I do, cio

Of course I know more about it than you do, I think it's fascinating and has nothing to do with my life and you think it's a plague visited upon you for your mother's sins.

i have never been to a kosher steakhouse!
i don't even know if i've ever been to a steakhouse? (not counting the keg in highschool)

for lunch today i ate a salad of organic mixed greens and some org tofu that i cut up and poured soy sauce, wasibi and sesame oil over and then put in the salad. then i ate half a banana and a few almonds. this is kinda nothing new but it is not junk food health food. now i am writing about anatomy of teh gut.

Sigh. Stewed lentils and an apple. Lunch.

power bars are not candy bars