bit¢oin$

Feel like one shouldn’t lie to children tho

not sure where the dirty money is coming from in this formulation but it sounds interesting

That’s how the money laundering works.

You invent a shitcoin and sell the shitcoins to dirty money “suckers”.

SBF was the designated “sucker”. In reality, he got that money to launder it. The extra suckers he reeled in was just gravy. https://t.co/1foI3bShYl

— Bitfinex’ed 🔥🐧 Κασσάνδρα 🏺 (@Bitfinexed) December 12, 2022

weird how many criminals there are around crypto

Eva Kaili, the ex-PASOK MEP was one of the most vocal proponents of crypto in EU. She was arrested today on suspicions of corruption, with bags of cash reportedly in her flat. Not very crypto. The q now is if only Quatar paid her, or crypto firms as well. https://t.co/yZjlK936V0

— @b✧✧✧@some✧✧✧.el✧✧✧.compu✧✧✧ (@bodobalazs) December 10, 2022

if youre going to do crime at least take it seriously dont be cute

The crypto platform’s founders Sam Bankman-Fried and Zixiao “Gary” Wang, engineer Nishad Singh and ex-Alameda Research CEO Caroline Ellison had a dubious forum. https://t.co/GifgvvMPKt

— Financial Review (@FinancialReview) December 12, 2022

guess the media tour did not work

BREAKING: FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried arrested in the Bahamas after U.S. files criminal charges https://t.co/0zAaXiED9X

— CNBC Now (@CNBCnow) December 12, 2022

*publicly confesses to crimes* theyll never arrest me now, im rly self-aware B-)

poor kid i feel bad for him, just an innocent computer boy caught up in the go go world of international money laundering and wire fraud

weve all been there one day youre a billionaire the next youre in the feds such is this crazy lil thing called life

there should be a new Keating Five with the same punishment (slap on wrist, maverick status)

SDNY unsealing indictment tomorrow, we'll see if Matt Levine waits for that to come out before he pubs the newsletter

USA Damian Williams: Earlier this evening, Bahamian authorities arrested Samuel Bankman-Fried at the request of the U.S. Government, based on a sealed indictment filed by the SDNY. We expect to move to unseal the indictment in the morning and will have more to say at that time.

— US Attorney SDNY (@SDNYnews) December 12, 2022

reading the full "Samuel Bankman-Fried" really has a "get in here, this instant!" vibe.

Re: SBF’s parents, this is an insanely sympathetic story, all of these people should be thrown off a cliff afaic

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/12/technology/sbf-parents-ftx-collapse.html

tbh as soon as it emerged that sbf's parents were stanford law professors with sidelines in moral philosophy (mum) and psychology (dad) they shd have locked the whole family up and invented charges afterwards

this is justice as i understand it

the trolley problem but anyone walking on a train line has their life insurance paid to the train company and the train driver is on a pedestrians killed KPI bonus scheme

impressive

SBF FACES 8 COUNTS:

1- Conspiracy to Commit Wire Fraud on Customers
2- Wire Fraud on Cust
3- CtC Wire Fraud on Lenders
4- Wire Fraud on Ls
5- CtC Commodities Fraud
6- CtC Securities Fraud
7- CtC Money Laundering
8- Conspiracy to violate Campaign Fin Lawshttps://t.co/eVsN6WBrXF

— kadhim (＾ｰ^)ノ (@kadhim) December 13, 2022

Wire Fraud on Ls: accurate if unkind description of those defrauded imo

can't believe these out-of-control woke courts are trying to criminalise the the simple act of doing crimes

lol xp

someone on twitter said that all the charges are related to ftx investors, people who gave them actual money, cause the prosecutors dont want to deal with crypto

Reasonably, probably

You wanna explain crypto to a jury?

asked and answered at the house committee on financial services

Rep. Perlmutter (D-CO) asks if dogecoin is pronounced "doe-gee-coin" or "doggycoin". Someone helps him out. "Oh, dohj-coin!"#FTXhearing

— Molly White (@molly0xFFF) December 13, 2022

Perlmutter didn't run for the next congress, so these last few weeks of his tenure must feel a little like the last day of school

Shades of Ian Watkins here

Sam Bankman-Fried and other members of the inner circle of the collapsed crypto exchange FTX allegedly formed a chat group on the encrypted platform Signal under the name “Wirefraud”.

lmao they used QuickBooks for recordkeeping

Huizenga asks about possible US users of FTX​.com.

Ray says somewhere on the order of hundreds. He says that those customers having billions of dollars on FTX​.com is probably an overly high estimate.#FTXhearing

— Molly White (@molly0xFFF) December 13, 2022

all those ads for the US version and they had hundreds of users!!

oh wait, I'm misreading -- ftx.com was the "not for US citizens" version and ftx.us was the "just for you, US citizens!" version

You wanna explain crypto to a jury?

― G. D’Arcy Cheesewright (silby), Tuesday, December 13, 2022 11:39 AM (fifty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

yeah and they havent even really decided how to classify various cryptos and whatnot

is this it

The world's largest crypto exchange is blocking the ability to withdraw your funds after getting hit with almost $1 billion in withdrawals over 24 hours. https://t.co/YGzRhPC1cz

— Max Burns (@themaxburns) December 13, 2022

Cannot wait until every one of these cryptofucks are broke, in jail, or both.

...should do time just for calling themesves "Binance"...

I keep thinking it’s a kink term like findom.

being a paypig seems far more rewarding than buying bitcoin

in that I've been tempted to be a paypig but not to buy bitcoin

buttcoin

blockwhips, blockchains

paycoin

Paypal sounds pretty sexy too

paybuddy

bitch better have my money

some intrigue. all I know if paul le roux is that (great) atavist profile a few years ago

If you follow the endless “who is Satoshi Nakamoto” saga, you may have seen new claims of alleged proof that Paul Le Roux is Satoshi. Since I’m getting messages about it, some thoughts... (warning: very long, mute thread if it’s not your bag) 1/https://t.co/4amOnXu4zY

— Evan Ratliff (@ev_rat) December 14, 2022

there was a pretty convincing story about who he was a while ago but i cant remember now lol

i always forget william gibson climaxes

Well, as long as you’re not the one fucking him it probably doesn’t matter

This is weird? The auditor for Binance (and a few other exchanges) appears to be getting out of the game in a hurry.
https://www.ft.com/content/9bde8b35-aba8-4f95-a408-9a3789efd889

is this weird exactly?

Auditing firm cuts ties with crypto clients, deletes Binance's "proof of reserves" report they issued days prior

December 16, 2022https://t.co/glg35j378w pic.twitter.com/8iYzZqD3Jj

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) December 16, 2022

ah weird

Mazars was also Trump Org’s auditing firm.