bit¢oin$

They keep trying so hard, they just haven't gotten it right yet. They'll keep trying.

perfect tweet

People are mad at FTX for doing the exact same thing that the banks do every day. Don’t believe me? Walk into your bank and ask to withdraw all your money and see what happens.

— Dennis Porter (@Dennis_Porter_) November 10, 2022

lmao

Some of you are confused. I meant, ask for the cash. If it’s over $10k the bank likely won’t give it to you because they don’t have it.

— Dennis Porter (@Dennis_Porter_) November 10, 2022

How will we find risible dolts to mock without twitter

honestly i easily get $8 worth

Thought it over and decided that the next step for SBF is to go broke and start wearing a tuxedo everywhere.

i guess there are downsides also but "im the guy who went from $16bn net worth to $0 net worth" is gnna be a fun thing tell ppl

also no way he doesnt have a ton of money parked somewhere

Crypto Confidence Soars After CEO Defrauds Customers Just Like Real Bank https://t.co/GU4C2V23Sd pic.twitter.com/UjjI0NSTot

— The Onion (@TheOnion) November 11, 2022

ah weird

Hundreds of millions of dollars are now flowing out of FTX wallets, some speculate liquidators but it's late on a friday night, not typical times for such rapid heavy movements. Some withdrawals are being swapped from Tether to DAI. Hack or insider actions? $26 million here pic.twitter.com/8wWlaE7na9

— foobar (@0xfoobar) November 12, 2022

whatre u gonna do you know

Former HIGH level FTX insider: "I think this has to be an inside job. There is just no way to have this much root access so quickly. There are too many different wallets and products to pull this off at once."

— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) November 12, 2022

It’s malware. “Compromised developer account” feels extremely suspicious. Some people are saying DPRK which feels a bit much but at this point who knows. This FTX drama is very chaotic. https://t.co/mhi9gUTvkt

— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) November 12, 2022

same

"Asked about the missing funds, Bankman-Fried responded: ‘???’" https://t.co/Pvh5L7reGn

— Samuel Oakford (@samueloakford) November 12, 2022

"@autismcapital"

100k followers lol

fucked around, found out

lmao

FTX CEO pic.twitter.com/y9yfKSpLEw

— Clown World ™ 🤡 (@ClownWorld_) November 12, 2022

i was like what theyre only down $500m but then i realized thats just how much was taken in the "hack" last night

$473 million in assets are missing from the reeling cryptocurrency exchange, which just filed for bankruptcy.https://t.co/w0iKwLWhFR

— CNN (@CNN) November 12, 2022

is it safe to say that FTX is...

https://i.imgur.com/Y7mgHfM.png

outta here?

sorry

in retrospect it was smart to advertise on umpires. baseball crowds _love_ the umpires!

Miami-Dade County and the Miami HEAT have released the following statement pic.twitter.com/ERZo1IsZ2o

— Miami HEAT (@MiamiHEAT) November 12, 2022

don't call it a comeback, but BangBros put in a mere $10M bid for the stadium a few years ago and this country needs a winner

We've officially Submitted our $10,000,000 bid for the naming rights to the Miami Heat Arena. We wish to thank American Airlines for their past support of the @MiamiHEAT We intend to change the name to the BangBros Center aka 'The BBC' #BangBrosCares pic.twitter.com/YbhNattIm7

— BANG BROS (@BangBrosDotCom1) September 12, 2019

meanwhile SBF doing a DBCooper somewhere between the bahamas and buenos aires

in retrospect it was smart to advertise on umpires. baseball crowds _love_ the umpires!

― Karl Malone, Saturday, November 12, 2022 12:13 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao yeah odd decision

I’m around if anyone needs me for their 4th of July barbecue. Fire it up @FTX_Official 🇺🇸🔥 pic.twitter.com/Gd27fcN5fx

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) July 4, 2022

might rewatch ROGUE TRADER (1999) tonight if i can find it somewhere for free

Essentially the plot of this movie where a trader takes down the bank that funded the Louisiana Purchase

not the first time for rhymes https://t.co/QXRA4dvAwF

— 🧈Margarine_Call☎️ (@Margarine_Call) November 12, 2022

Lol I keep thinking about that guy who claims you can’t get more than $10,000 out of a bank. Some of these people behave like they literally were born yesterday.

have you seen the finance thread?

Lol of course Brady's dumb ass was affiliated

say it ain't so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8CXNZSSKZc

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FhadnADXwAEgiG_?format=jpg&name=medium

🚨 FTX TRADING LTD BALANCE SHEET IN FULL 🚨

Spreadsheet was dated Thursday, the day before FTX Trading (main international exchange), FTX US, and Alameda were put into bankruptcy protectionhttps://t.co/NAfRS2gpW4 pic.twitter.com/uw0Funqgmv

— kadhim (＾ｰ^)ノ (@kadhim) November 12, 2022

God, give me Grace to accept with serenity the things I wish I could do differently than I did
Courage to represent the poorly labeled bank internal bank account and the size of customer withdrawals during a run on the bank
and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other

@fiat is latin for "let's go do some crimes"

crimecoin™

three arrows capital guy with a weepy lil thread

The universe works in mysterious ways. Over the past year, I’ve seen the highest high and lowest low of my life. I know many reading this have as well.

Humanity, community, happiness are worth it. Love.

— Kyle Davies 🔺 (@KyleLDavies) November 13, 2022

all my pancakes gone

pic.twitter.com/P55cRX9COE

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) November 13, 2022

BREAKING: A potential bank run on https://t.co/SCDLOM8zTW may be in progress.

Nearly 90,000 unique transactions have been processed in the last few hours, suggesting that users are scrambling to get their funds off the exchange 👇#CryptoCom pic.twitter.com/5XRELFgmyC

— The Chainsaw (@chainsawdotcom) November 14, 2022

This, from an interview with Sam Bankman-Fried (whose crypto exchange has just imploded) is very funny. That loser Tolstoy. Think of the time he could have saved. pic.twitter.com/esRKWwDSfy

— Tom Sutcliffe (@tds153) November 13, 2022

easiest way to spot a dumb guy

lol was mattY aware of that quote, or would that be unreasonable skepticism of tech

Michael Lewis' next book is about Sam Bankman-Fried. Email from CAA confirms he has been embedded with him for last 6 months; note below was first sent to potential buyers for filmed rights. Scoop @TheAnkler https://t.co/VcFEmeCAIM pic.twitter.com/ZrioMu7qbb

— Janice Min (@janicemin) November 13, 2022

will read

If Sammy had deigned to read a book, he could’ve read The Journalist and the Murderer before he agreed to spend six months letting Michael Lewis hang out at his polycule penthouse or w/e

To reduce further cascading negative effects of FTX, Binance is forming an industry recovery fund, to help projects who are otherwise strong, but in a liquidity crisis. More details to come soon. In the meantime, please contact Binance Labs if you think you qualify. 1/2

— CZ 🔶 Binance (@cz_binance) November 14, 2022

need to prop up the strong pretend money projects that might just be experiencing a lack of real money

rip the brave

It is now too late to withdraw from crypto dot com.

There’s still time to withdraw from Binance.

There’s still time to withdraw from Bitfinex.

There’s still time to get rid of your tethers.

Do it. pic.twitter.com/IudKThODpv

— Bitfinex’ed 🔥 Κασσάνδρα 🏺 (@Bitfinexed) November 14, 2022

today's money stuff is pretty 🔥

lol yeah hes on one

Crypto scams are what happens when you defund the police. Virtually everything in cryptocurrencies was unlawful, there just aren't enough cops to enforce the law.

— Matt Stoller (@matthewstoller) November 14, 2022

So not gonna happen

https://d1e00ek4ebabms.cloudfront.net/production/7c35a1c5-5ed7-48ab-9567-40008dca452d.jpg

can we buy an NFT of this crypto crash somewhere?

all fall down

Crypto Lender BlockFi Prepares for Potential Bankruptcy, Sources Say --WSJ

— *Walter Bloomberg (@DeItaone) November 15, 2022

ah well, nevertheless