t/s: nutella vs. giardia aka garbage bowl XXIII (aka FINAL DYING GASP OF NOISE BOARD)

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UGH WHAT

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:49 (nineteen years ago)

nigella's rack is hypnotic.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:50 (nineteen years ago)

BY WHICH I MEAN HER SPICE RACK HAR HAR.

I hope I become widely known for really corny tit jokes.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:50 (nineteen years ago)

nigella wins, but if you cut giada's head off she's a close contender.

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 26 August 2006 02:07 (nineteen years ago)

nigella conquers all.

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 26 August 2006 02:18 (nineteen years ago)

i think nigella probs wins. but giada definitely does have the most hypnotic pair of breasts in cooking show history.

thanks dean. makin dudes smile.

― the eunuchs, Cassim and Mustafa, who guarded Abdur Ali's harem (orion), Saturday, 26 August 2006 02:25 (nineteen years ago)

― the eunuchs, Cassim and Mustafa, who guarded Abdur Ali's harem (orion), Saturday, 26 August 2006 02:29 (nineteen years ago)

giada. she must go to a smile trainer.

but she used HELLMAN's MAYONAISE on her show today. that's italian?

― in my community (lovebug starski), Saturday, 26 August 2006 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

i just don't get nigella.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 26 August 2006 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

Nigella in a second. Tho I hate her taste in men.

― Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Saturday, 26 August 2006 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

"Giada" always makes me think of "giardia." Mmmmm... bacteria.

― daniel striped tiger (OutDatWay), Saturday, 26 August 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

that's a pretty poor pict of nigella, no? I guess they're both pretty poor pictures...

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Saturday, 26 August 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

rachel ray is the only one who has posed for a lad mag, no?

http://www.945thehawk.com/upload/rachel_ray_picture_one.bmp

i kinda dig nigella, but even i , a horny devil to the core, think all the slo-mo shots of her eating spagetti or whatever is a bit much. and a tad strange! every show having a close-up of yourself making love to a piece of food? what a legacy!

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 26 August 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

i'd gladly take nigella romanting her food over the barefoot contessa doing so!!!

― fellini-esque-lit-rockist (tehresa), Saturday, 26 August 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

Sage advice.

I also now freelance for RR Show, so I'm not clicking on that link. I will also add that RR is better looking in person and that on 30MM she's lit pretty badly.

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Saturday, 26 August 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

i had no idea nigella was known in the US.

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 26 August 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

that top Giada pic makes her look like the young horse-faced Julia Roberts

― milo z (mlp), Saturday, 26 August 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

we are the land of pillowy boobage. of course she is known here.

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 26 August 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

who is Nigella?? i don't even know who that is.

Those tits are absolutely amazing.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:43 (nineteen years ago)

nigella. I don't even know who this giada is!!

― genital hyphys (haitch), Sunday, 27 August 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

i'll admit each time i hit this thread i scroll back up for nigella's rack. hypnotic, even.

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Sunday, 27 August 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

actually I find Nigella more attractive.

I watch Giada w/the sound off once a week on the exercise machine at the gym, it's pretty funny though the mayonnaise bit was nauseating.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 27 August 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

americans choose: NIGELLA!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39506000/jpg/_39506604_bush_lawson_pa300.jpg

― killy (baby lenin pin), Sunday, 27 August 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

o no nigella how could you

― genital hyphys (haitch), Sunday, 27 August 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

Her dad's a tory. :(

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 27 August 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

o nigella's dad how could you

― genital hyphys (haitch), Sunday, 27 August 2006 13:44 (nineteen years ago)

And married to Charles Saatchi : (

http://www.bbc.co.uk/education/asguru/generalstudies/culture/07advertising/images/labour_isnt_working2.jpg

― caek (caek), Sunday, 27 August 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

nigella: lusty/booby food preparer or tool of the right?

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 27 August 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

lusty/booby tool of the right, that is...

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 27 August 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

omg imagine if ann coulter had a cooking show

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

"now don't be LIBERAL with the salt here... next thing you know the shaker will be empty and you'll just be costing the government money when go out and buy a new one with FOOD STAMPS, you wastrel"

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

i'm so into sandra lee. she uses words like "tablescape", has the fakest boobs on foodtv and she's the sara lee heiress. totally amazing. i love that foodtv is pitting giada vs. nigella quite literally.

anything to eradicate the memory of rachel ray. [garbage bowl is a good tip fwiw.]

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

[garbage bowl is a good tip fwiw.]

what's the diff between "good tip" and "a standard common-sense thing that everybody should be doing anyway"? she's nuts if she thinks she invented that.

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

what's the diff between "good tip" and "a standard common-sense thing that everybody should be doing anyway"? she's nuts if she thinks she invented that.

i think that trademarking a verbal tic is pretty genius. see also: EVOO.

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

YUMMO

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)

giada is the sort of woman you make hot via projection...take the cameras away, just some average broad

my father tells me that rachel raye used to do demos in the grocery store wheni was young...shes the sort of annoying subburban upstate person i fled from...and now shes everywhere...its like torture

― bb (bbrz), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

are you from albany?

― el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

garbage bowl?!

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

i'm so into sandra lee. she uses words like "tablescape", has the fakest boobs on foodtv and she's the sara lee heiress.

pix plz?

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

latham

― bb (bbrz), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

ugh that show is so bad though! everything she wears and uses is color-coded to match the week's theme.

― fellini-esque-lit-rockist (tehresa), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

More on Sandra Lee

http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/food_network/001439.php

and @ Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_Lee_(author)

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

...and i have yet to see satisfactory images of boobage that would make me turn away from Nigella/Giada?

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, i think she's the alyssa milano of foodtv, but the photo at the bottom of the wiki entry is the outfit i was referring to [i think.]

and oh man tablescape = this. she tries to make it seem totally normal and not the least bit neurotic/impossible/expensive in keeping with the pluperfect bourgeois homemaker mentality.

tehresa, my wife pointed out to me that her kitchen-aid mixer matches every interior. today's was orange. [yeah, i watch too much food tv (thanks wifey), even though i'm not an epicurean/gourmand/foodie (i chose voluptuary) and i can't cook more than pasta and a good artichoke dip. i'm amazed by the production values poured into every show. it's like nfl films for food (or porn, depending on your background in production)]

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Sunday, 27 August 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

there was a thng on npr a few weekends ago where a former porn cinematographer talked about food tv...hillarious

― bb (bbrz), Sunday, 27 August 2006 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

oh yeah, porn types love it. the production values are more or less identical, and the camera techniques are too.

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Sunday, 27 August 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

and the sounds!!

its actually very funny to hear clips of giada's show on the radio..all this squishing, etc...

the lighting on her show is just crazy, too..all those soft brights

― bb (bbrz), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

her SHOW is excellent; I've made the 'pole up her ass diction' comment before tho...

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

yes the sounds. i think the network drew inspiration [so to speak] from the cooing voiceovers on the orig iron chef. everything's so decadent! and high end!

how long before a nigella vs. giada cookoff?

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

There was a thing in Harper's a while ago about food porn.

You guys forgot "stoup"!!!

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 77 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

plus, how rare is u.k. jew boobage on t.v.? nigella is a trailblazer! god bless her.

― scott seward (scott seward), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:07 (nineteen years ago)

hahahahah

― bb (bbrz), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

they are the chosen boobs. (wake me up when shoshanna lonstein gets a cooking show. rorrrwww. omg, i just outed myself as a closet shoshanna fan. someone kill me. i have to stop reading gotham magazine.)

― scott seward (scott seward), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

giada looks like she either wears too much makeup or has had major surgery on her mug

― =[[ (eman), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

i had to google her...and now...good lord. what the hell did she do before seinfeld? her clothes are terrible

― bb (bbrz), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

high school

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

LOL
http://www.sobewineandfoodfest.com/2006/images/pics06/images/Rachel%20Ray%20&%20Lee%20Brian%20Schrager%201.jpg

― bla$$$t (blastocyst), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

LOL SMILE IS HUEG

― captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

now, is that really necessary?

― bb (bbrz), Monday, 28 August 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

that chick looks crazy

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 28 August 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

and the one on the left is a bit nutty lookin' too.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 28 August 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

they are both way to close to me, for comfort

― bb (bbrz), Monday, 28 August 2006 18:47 (nineteen years ago)

CHRIS NOLAN PLS TO CAST RACHEL RAY AS JOKER IN BATMANG K THX

― captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Monday, 28 August 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Sandra Lee is completely insane, I mean I can only assume she actually IS a Stepford Wife.

precisely. she takes martha stewart's iciness/"perfection" to a whole new level. i can't imagine what hell would break lose if fans were invited on the show.

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:00 (nineteen years ago)

WHOA what is up with giantess Rachel Ray?! party foul.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

I mean jesus you can see crap between her teeth

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

delicious crap.

― Vacillatrix (x Jeremy), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

What is the point, exactly, of Sandra Lee's show? I can kind of come up with some kind of point for all of the rest of them. But Sandra Lee is weird, like she takes lil debbies and puts new icing on them and then puts doilies on a table while speaking in this weird monotone. And that's a show? I don't get it.

― Allyzay is cool: with Blue n White, with Eli Manning, with NY Giants (allyzay), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:25 (nineteen years ago)

And that's a show? I don't get it.

neither do i! it's a magical cooking show to cure the feminine mystique! mainly via liquor! [her drinks, though i've never tried one, are most likely responsible for countless pregnancies!]

i welcome the return of the eisenhower era! bring on the ozzie and harriet!

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Monday, 28 August 2006 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/nigellanazi.jpg

uh what

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:53 (nineteen years ago)

it was a favor for prince harry.

― the eunuchs, Cassim and Mustafa, who guarded Abdur Ali's harem (orion), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:55 (nineteen years ago)

Nigella's cookery show on Englander Channel 4 was absolutely fucking useless. The whole thing was shot on shaky-cam style a la nypd blue/homicide life on the street, and every time she waved her arms about, which she did a lot, the camera viewpoint would track them, heeling off to the left or the right in a seasickness-inducing manner! Yr supposed to watch the prog and get inspired to either make the food, or more likely buy some of her range of sig. cookware, not to a/feel motion-sick &/or b/get annoyed by her passive-aggresive boasting about her wonderful lifestyle, feh.

I got hate emails as a result of an ilm thread I started years ago about nigella!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 07:38 (nineteen years ago)

omg. were they like the dave matthews googlers??

― genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 09:51 (nineteen years ago)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are rachel raye ad's on the mutherfucking G train!

(somebody stick the sirens in there)

NOT what i needed at 6 am this morning

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

I hate the Food Network so much right now.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

omg. were they like the dave matthews googlers??

No! It was more "You're just jealous of her, LOSER." only much more verbose, and there were a few of them all at once, so I figure the thread must have turned up on some pro-nigella board.

Here is the thread:

Nigella Lawson - classic or dud, dahlings?

For random googlers, it doesn't anywhere near match DMB in quantity, but it nearly makes it in idiot-quality.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

I can't believe noize dudez have shown enough restrain not to post the "English Muffin" picture yet.

― captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 13:53 (nineteen years ago)

ya rly

― Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

responding to someone upthread: bobby flay is a total douche. i saw one of his six (?) shows where he was basically just getting tanked "tasting" vodkas at some swank vodka bar. nothing against vodka, but wtf?

his "throwdown" show is to food what gentrification is to working class neighborhoods, imo. i guess that makes him the robert moses of foodtv.

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

I posted it on Ian's myspace xpost

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

nobody ever believes me, but bobby flay wasn't always a massive prick on food t.v. he turned into one like rocco. he was watchable on the early chillin' and grillin' show. even sorta humble! course he was paired with the biggest asshole whoever lived, jack mcdavid from philly on that show, so anyone would look good in comparison. and nobody knew who he was, and he didn't have his schtick down pat. jack used to take great pride in making all his female employees cry at his restaurants. his fake cracker dimwit routine was the worst. but, yeah, bobby quickly became an unwatchable monster.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

his old show (that was on on lifetime when i used to get home from jr high) was bearable...is that the one you mean scott? i can only sort of remember it, but i watched it when it was on

is to food what gentrification is to working class neighborhoods

--ha! and wheres his place? like south 2nd and Kent or something?

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

it was the one where jack would cook with charcoal and bobby would cook with a gas grill cuz he was a city slicker and jack would make fun of bobby's gas grill for half an hour. bobby would kind of lay back and be cool while jack acted like an idiot. after that though, the focus was all on bobby, so i guess he felt like HE had to be the idiot. and, you know, he kinda is an idiot. a rich one though with a successful empire and all that. i think his next show was the kinda playboy mansion/swinger cooking show where he would have babes watch him cook stuff or whatever. i stopped watching the food network around then.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

hmm, that sounds kinda right...was it set outside?

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

yeah.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

My bro-in-law met Bobby Flay once at this bar, he was all "hi Mr. Flay, I am a fan" etc calm and collected. My bro-in-law's brother got back from the bathroom, saw who bro-in-law was talking to, snuck around the room, and apparently tackle/hugged Flay from behind.

― captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

he should have jumped up on the table and tossed-over a cutting board

― bb (bbrz), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

i saw this giada broad for the first time today on my lunch break. wtf people.

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

don't use the word "broad"

we know yr not tuff

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

love how scott's revival of the other thred focused on the important issue!

― genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

oh man i would love to see giada at geno's, ordering a steak. she's been turning up the "authenticity" recently, maybe to defuse the cuban missile crisis we've imagined here.

fwiw, ina garten has all the same production values, but weighs as much as nigella and giada put together [well, not quite.] why i have to watch that show when there's doubtless another great makeover show on another channel is beyond me. [oh please could someone make comcast stop providing such inane content!] oh, you say this is "comcast country"? thanks for nothing gov. rendell!

― blackmail (blackmail.is.my.life), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:10 (nineteen years ago)

how have we neglected the scandanvia cooking woman?

on pbs....whats her name?

― bb (bbrz), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:19 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

good thread imo. prescient.

― ian, Thursday, 20 August 2009 04:54 (sixteen years ago)

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