Misdirected emails

"
Hi Bootyheaddivahannafuck,

Welcome to your NEW FUTURE! We are excited to be part of the journey with you!

UoPeople is the world’s first tuition-free online university, bringing accredited degree programs to you anytime, anywhere! We offer you small class sizes, an international student body, top of the line professors, leading professional advisors, and all the tools to create a strong career path. Be a pioneer in today’s world; take part in a university that is changing higher education and building a brighter future for you!"

Weird, someone else has the same username as me?

:)

I get a lot of gmail meant for other people (these are all different people):

- chain emails from "mom"
- some dude just bought a deer-hunting license in Wisconsin and opened his account with my email
- Irish horse-racing line ups to be authorised
- warehouse temp's pay slip (weirdly this was from a temp agency in my home town)

They all go to <my email> @ gmail.com, but with the dots removed from <my email>.

you guys

Subject:

Here's your pet's photo!

Body

http://i.imgur.com/e67xOQS.jpg

They couldn't find a Santa over 30?

well, in dog years

Just got this guy's Orkin receipt at my govt name address and holy cow. For this:

Bait Station (Rodents) Installed, Carpenter Ants Service/Treatment, Inspected outside for rodent entry area, Inspected/Treated Bar (Beverages) Area, Inspected/Treated Dining Area, Inspected/Treated Maintenance Area, Inspected/Treated Storage Area

Dude gets billed $500 A YEAR.

rats are drawn to the butter sauce

Not the only ones.

When Floki and the other men returned to Norway, they were asked about the newly found land. Floki believed it to be worthless. Herjolf believed that the land had both good and bad qualities. Thorolf claimed that butter was smeared on every straw on the land that they had found. Thorolf was then nicknamed Thorolf Butter (Icelandic; Þórólfur smjör).

Dear uncle sean,
Thank you so much for the hannukah present. I definitely will use it. Happy new year!
Lily

someone seemingly registered for something called Fitness Singles, a UK dating site, & used my email address

Someone working at Goldman Sachs in London shares my name and I frequently get emails he thinks he's forwarding to his personal email I guess. Last week I received an invitation to a GS strategy conference in Zurich and got access to all the presentations. I often receive booking confirmations at expensive hotels around Europe. I don't really understand how this guy still hasn't realized his mistake but hey I had fun looking at those ppt presentations.

Misdirected e-card with music and angels and everything. :(

Hi Tara,
I hope the surgery went well yesterday and that God is sending you his healing graces.
I won't be at Bible Study next Wednesday but look forward to seeing you soon.
Warmly,
Rita

I had to sent a reply card with a smiling snowman on it to tell her that she had the wrong email.

Dear Mahoghany,

Thank you for your interest in a position with Hooters of America, LLC. Your application will be reviewed by our management team, and we will contact you within 3 to 5 days, should we feel that your background meets our current needs.

Thank you again,

Human Resources Team

Is Mahoghany your middle name?

it's his Hooters name

Reservation Confirmed.

Holiday Inn Express & Suites Oklahoma City North
12013 Holland Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73131


Check In: Check Out:
03/18/17 – 03/19/17
03:00 PM 11:00 AM

Rooms: Adults:
1 2

They asked if I wanted to modify my reservation. I said sure, and said I wanted extra pillows.

I continue to get the payment confirmations for some damn lady's BMW she bought.

this one i really don't understand. monique has a significantly different name from mine, i def don't know tom young, so how the hell does this get to my inbox?

Hi Monique,

I enjoyed our short conversation yesterday and hope all is well with you.

The cost of the 24 engraved nursing pins is $12.25 each.

Unless you prefer another address the pins will ship via UPS to you at xxxx Ave, Chicago, IL 60615
The pins are in the manufacturing process and should be completed before the end of April.

Regards,

Tom Young

some people give their spouse or coworker's email if they share one for family/office purposes

i've been getting office depot receipts for everything some dude named george buys

A New Orleans friend sent this to me. A life-long New Orleanean and someone whose business is impacted by tourism, about the only thing left to fund the city, she has worked with others through local committees to no seeming avail. The Mayor refuses to listen and twice has sought to remove monuments secretly under cover of night. The state goveernment seems the only help currently.

So I pass this along to you and ask that you forward it to as many people you know who believe that General Lee should be left where he is and General Jackson where he is and all the monuments to African-Americans remain where they are. Our state has a richly diverse culture and history, and in so many ways NOLA is our capital city, our genesis, the place we went on school field trips as children, and the place to which we've returned to throughout our lives.

If you will, call. And pass it along to your friends.

Thank you,
Gaye

well, that took a turn

Dear DR. [ACTUALLASTNAME],

Accuralink services for your 2017 Acura ILX have been restored.

Sincerely
AcuraLink ILX

Your application to renew your driving licence at 70 or over
You have begun the process of our application to renew your driving licence at 70 or over, but you haven't completed it yet.

Really tempted to call and alter this dude's order, just to specify full-boned chicken wings or something. Someone else do it though, I'm at work and I forgot my phone at home.

Your Order from Chili's (Transit Rd) Is Being Prepared

CHILI'S (TRANSIT RD)
4153 Transit Rd, Clarence, NY

1 2 Liter of Iced Tea
$3.50
1 Boneless Honey-Chipotle Wings
$10.14
1 Triple Dipper
• Southwestern Eggrolls
• Crispy Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers
• Big Mouth Bites $12.24
1 Homestyle Fries
$2.24
1 5 Piece Garlic Toast
$1.99
Subtotal:
Fee:
Tax:
Tip:
Total: $30.11
$9.99
$3.50
$6.54
$50.14
Method: Credit Card
Order #: 1506079156
Deliver to: Micheal Wall, 48 Barry Pl Buffalo, NY
Order date: 06-27-2017

Have questions about your order?

For delivery issues

Call the restaurant

at 716-631-2222 *

Big Mouth Bites

I get so many dental x-rays these days, it's not even funny.

I'm still getting Ms Fenton's BMW car payment reciepts.

someone in ireland got a quote for a kitchen remodeling project

I'm constantly getting resumes from people in Jordan (the country).

Dear Douchebags,

You are all invited to Cary's bachelor party on September Xth-Yth. We are going to Nashville, TN and will be staying at the Doubletree downtown. Accommodations are $181 per person for two nights. I am just trying to get a gauge on who will be able to make it, so please let me know before next Friday, July 14th.

More details will follow, but for the most part we will just drink out of penis straws and do dong bongs and blow job shots and stuff.

Let me know as soon as you can! Thank you.

McRib/Rib/Rob

Ideal Protein orders are in! Please pick up in Pod 3.

Thank you!

Hello,

Due to the time restrains we are emailing you the Acceptance Packet for Pleasant Plains. Please return the completed and signed documents with the enrollment deposit to secure pplains' roster spot.

Let me know if you have any questions and/or concerns.

Thank you,

JEFF Xxxxxx
Athletic Director/Academic Director

time restrains no one.

Ideal Protein orders are in. Please pick up in Pod 3. Please note, Wendy and Luann are out today and tomorrow for measuring. Cindy in meeting today until 3:30pm, and tomorrow until 2pm. Sorry for any inconvenience. Thank you.

Pod 3 makes it sound like some spaceship running protein experiments.

Welcome to Spy Phone App

Thank you for your interest in our application.

You have successfully added a new phone to your account .

The cell phone is ready to be tracked. All retrieved information will be available in your account, by logging at Spy phone app.

Attention!
Make sure the device is connected to the Internet.

Hello,

Hope this email finds you well. We are down to one roster spot remaining. If you are interested you will need to notify the coach that has been recruiting ASAP. If not we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.

Go Warriors,

Jeff Xxxxxx
Athletic Director

_____________________________________________________

Hello,

I have no idea who you are. If you are interested in filling your roster spot, you will need to update your contact information ASAP. I am a 43-year-old father of two.

Go Mizzou Tigers

Dear PLEASANT PLAINS,

The payment for the order that you placed on 6/8/2017 from DialAmerica for ESPN THE MAGAZINE is past due. A portion of your paid order provides support to MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING. Your payment insures uninterrupted delivery of your magazine subscription. On behalf of DialAmerica and MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING, thank you!

Total Amount Due: $39.95

I emailed the BMW dealership to tell them to stop freaking emailing me.

Now they're sending me emails asking me to fill in a survey re my resent email dealings with them :|

resent? Ugh. RECENT.

Jordan's is horrible!

Chilling, right? It links to a manual and of course it says that it's "parental control software designed to keep your children safe from negative information."

http://www.blast-o-rama.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/bigmouthbites.png

what asshole signed my email address up for jiffy lube's marketing? fuck those guys