"YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?? YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YA."

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Actually, I think using "find tip of my penis, replace with my cockhelmet" is the best suggestion in this thread so far. Someone should try that one out and report back with results.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:50 (seventeen years ago) link

"I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me."

UH erection over

― Lazy Comet (plsmith), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:50 (seventeen years ago) link

lol @ me almost IM'ing part of this thread to my mom instead of ethan

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:53 (seventeen years ago) link

[/ian riese-moraine]

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:53 (seventeen years ago) link

ANY dirty talk sounds pretty ridiculous out of context, tbh.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:54 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost - your mom sounds hot

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

"UNH. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR???

MINE'S GREEEEEENN."

If you can find the context where this doesn't sound ridiculous, Strongo will give you a handjob.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:56 (seventeen years ago) link

she called me earlier to tell me she was high on prescription drugs

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Or Strongo's mom.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:58 (seventeen years ago) link

The user popshots75` now has the locked permission on this thread.

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 16:59 (seventeen years ago) link

From here on out, I'm limiting myself to early-century blues idioms.

"After you received my root treatment, woman, don't start no signifyin'" seems like a good start.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:02 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6pIzDEU1uc

― trees (treesessplode), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Of course, afterwards I will attribute it to Doctor Clayton to avoid any copyright infringement issues.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:06 (seventeen years ago) link

ASS TERMINOLOGY TO AVOID:

pooper
poo-hole
anus
sphincter
brown eye
[add yr own]

xpost trees, dude that is disturbing

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

"I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me."

ESSENCE OF GELFLING.

Oh man, if I ever get laid again I'm going to make that Skexis mmmmMMMMM sound.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

i actually had a girl pull a variation of the essence line on me once

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:10 (seventeen years ago) link

ew dude plz remember i see the skeksis every day at my job HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeksis">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeksis

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:11 (seventeen years ago) link

roxx are you asking me to talk dirty to you??

If you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:24 (seventeen years ago) link

the narrator/camera-man always has filthier & more interesting things to say than the people fucking, anyway

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:27 (seventeen years ago) link

From here on out, I'm limiting myself to early-century blues idioms.

BABY, SQUEEZE MY LEMON. OH YEAH, SQUEEZE THE LEMON. OH SHIT, BABY. YOU GET LEMON JUICE IN YOUR EYE? THAT SHIT STINGS

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:30 (seventeen years ago) link

narrator??

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

SUGAR MY GRAPEFRUIT

― katie quirk (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:33 (seventeen years ago) link

yes, the omniscient narrator of porn

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:34 (seventeen years ago) link

SIT ON MY FACE.
SIT ON MY FAAAAAAACE.
MY FACE. SIT.
SIT. ON. MY. FACE.

NOW GODDAMNIT.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:36 (seventeen years ago) link

"Tell me what you're going to do to me."

Why? You don't already know? Is me saying "fuck" going to make it hurt more? Baby?

― turbogirlwc8ko3.jpg (blastocyst), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:40 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.fast-rewind.com/p_bride2.jpg
'is this a... KISSING website?'

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 17:42 (seventeen years ago) link

"Tell me what you're going to do to me."

that IS hella annoying

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 18:41 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah baby, let me club that seal

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 18:41 (seventeen years ago) link

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c68/angelofheaven87/th_01-05-04-paris-hilton-club-sandwich.jpg

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 18:43 (seventeen years ago) link

the key is using evocative language, i think.

for example, don't say "I want you to come inside me."

instead, try "BREED THAT DIRTY HOLE, BITCH."

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 18:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Damn,,

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

AWWWW YEAH, BABY, HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FORCED DOWN THE BIRTH CANAL? CAN YOU FEEL IT? DO YOU LIKE IT THAT WAY, HEAD FIRST? I BET YOU LIKE IT HEAD FIRST, DON'T YOU? OOH, YOU'RE CROWNING NOW. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, BITCH? DO YOU LIKE CROWNING? I BET YOU WANNA POKE YOUR SOFT LITTLE HEAD OUT AND START CRYING, DON'T YOU? AWWWWW YEAH.

― Fluffy Bear, among 100% of the population (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

it was funny the first 2 posts & never again

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Tracy sounds like a keeper.

― milo z (mlp), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link

it was funny the first 2 posts & never again

so was the animenstraution cartoon

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

sorry i saw that porno on gurochanin like 1998

― turbogirlwc8ko3.jpg (blastocyst), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:58 (seventeen years ago) link

but hey next time your girl says she wants you to talk dirty, just say, "hey how about i show you ~~this website~~ instead...it's real dirty...you'll like it :-)"

but sure to include the emoticon

― turbogirlwc8ko3.jpg (blastocyst), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

i could embarrass someone on this thread, but i won't.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:08 (seventeen years ago) link

haha is it me?

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

haha not who i was thinking of. but yeah i do have some dirt on you, lol!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:33 (seventeen years ago) link

did you guys do "it"?

― disappointing goth fest line-up (orion), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:40 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.drudgesiren.com/siren.gifGUYS, ELMO IS GAY!!!!http://www.drudgesiren.com/siren.gif

― gbx (skowly), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

oh shit busted

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:47 (seventeen years ago) link

and no, jaymc and i did not do "it". but i shall say no more.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:02 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm guessing elmo was the top

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:13 (seventeen years ago) link

David, start giving people a numerical score!

guys have been doing this since the dawn of time

― señor citizen (eman), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:48 (seventeen years ago) link

dawn of time a.k.a. the 80s http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a2/Bo10.jpg

― señor citizen (eman), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 22:50 (seventeen years ago) link

were there ever pr0n versions of Dudley Moore flicks? Arthur 2: On The Cocks?

― señor citizen (eman), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 23:01 (seventeen years ago) link

i could embarrass someone on this thread, but i won't.

i'm not scared

"sugar my grapefruit" is awesome.

i am going to make it a point to use it, and report back.

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