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omg pineapple

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

THAT'S JUST IN 1 SENTENCE

― forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

c/p to ILM thread

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

Database shenanigans are afoot. You may notice some oddness.

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

omg jess!!

― s1ocki, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

heheeeeee that article my god

also j3ss h4rv3ll writes for pitchfork now??? god damn

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:44 (nineteen years ago)

awwwwww shes still in high school. now i feel bad for laughing at her

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha Jess. Are you going to post a comment?

― Pashmina, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

That article is FUNCTIONALLY OVERWHELMING.

― max, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

Register to Join the Detroit Free Press forums
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― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

The crunked-out comment was pretty insightful for a high schooler. I would probably have had wanted to get w/ this girl 4 years ago.

― BLASTOCYST, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

Benefits include:
• Overwhelming of functions
• Ringtone-esque bursts
• Ecstatic peaks

― max, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

don't tell me it takes more than 26 minutes to find a myspace page ...

― moonship journey to baja, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

i instantly regret suggesting that

― moonship journey to baja, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

no dice, maybe she's on friendster

― félix pié, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

Facebook profile confirmed

― BLASTOCYST, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

that's good writing for a high schooler.

― That one guy that quit, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

pandora's box of crepeyness

― moonship journey to baja, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

POKE

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude ‫茄蕃‪, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

Hey "corpuscle" is an awesome word!

― deej, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

also j3ss h4rv3ll writes for pitchfork now??? god damn

indie rock affirmative action
hott chicks always get the big promotions esp. if they say "fuck" a lot

― dmr, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

i have now written for pfork more than anywhere else, including the day job

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:17 (nineteen years ago)

you can write a response article...FIVE THINGS; That seem unnecessarily precocious

― dan selzer, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

haha

― deej, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

also j3ss h4rv3ll writes for pitchfork now??? god damn
-- deeznuts, Tuesday, April 24, 2007 10:44 AM (3 hours ago)
awwwwww shes still in high school. now i feel bad for laughing at her
-- deeznuts, Tuesday, April 24, 2007 10:45 AM (3 hours ago)

haha. i thought this was in reference to jess

― jaxon, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

It would have explained a lot.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 24 April 2007 23:39 (nineteen years ago)

I like LeWitt the conceptual artist and theorist more so than LeWitt the painter and sculptor.

-- jaymc, Monday, April 9, 2007 9:09 AM (2 weeks ago)

well done but I assume both are dead

-- RJG, Monday, April 9, 2007 9:15 AM (2 weeks ago)

― moonship journey to baja, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

RJG is like the most smugly annoying person on ILE but i have to hand it to him, he's kind of a zing ninja

― moonship journey to baja, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

How long does it take the average ILXor to realize that jess is male? It took me about a year I think.

― Curt1s Stephens, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:16 (nineteen years ago)

depends if you catch him in a complaining-about-women phase or not.

― moonship journey to baja, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

You must have been reading all the wrong posts.

Ahahaha XP.

― Laurel, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

RJG is like the most smugly annoying person on ILE but i have to hand it to him, he's kind of a zing ninja

haha you're kind of right:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/209/475620188_f256c26a87_m.jpg

I have better hair now!

-- Maria, Saturday, April 28, 2007 5:34 AM (5 hours ago)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what's it like now?

-- RJG, Saturday, April 28, 2007 5:57 AM (5 hours ago)

― g®▲Ðұ, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

the master of zing gets zinged.

it isn't that the bad jokes are actually racist but that they are lazy enough that they are not "tackling" any "issue" they might "think" they are

-- RJG, Sunday, April 29, 2007 4:01 PM (3 hours ago)

RJG, your endless string of "quips" are not nearly as "clever" as you "think" they are. Please go update your Two And A Half Men fansite and stop talking about a show that you neither like nor have anything interesting to say about.

-- Deric W. Haircare, Sunday, April 29, 2007 4:06 PM (3 hours ago)

― stevie, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:11 (nineteen years ago)

one of my first threads on ilx was, i think, in response to a post on sexism in crunk jess had made on his blog. i assumed he was a she

― deej, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

wait, is jess jane dark?

― artdamages, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

ok i know the answer to that. but it would be funny if he was.

― artdamages, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

stevie, you left out the part where rjg asks deric if he is bald

― cutty, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

i hadn't got that far yet... mention of two and a half men fansite sent me prematurely in the direction of the zingpage.

― stevie, Sunday, 29 April 2007 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v468/AndresHimself/meandagoat.jpg

― forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 01:40 (nineteen years ago)

How long does it take the average ILXor to realize that jess is male? It took me about a year I think.

-- Curt1s Stephens, Saturday, 28 April 2007 21:16 (2 days ago)

it took me till he said something about wanting some female critic to suck his dick till he came blood

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:02 (nineteen years ago)

That's disgusting.

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:15 (nineteen years ago)

it is also true

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:22 (nineteen years ago)

it was a male critic. i don't even think it was a critic.

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:29 (nineteen years ago)

it was also not an expression of lust.

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:30 (nineteen years ago)

watch me shoot down my future career prospects while drunk: new times media can suck my cock until i cum blood

-- PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Monday, September 4, 2006

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

unless we're gendering corporations now

― strongohulkington, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:37 (nineteen years ago)

well whatever, it was then that i realized he had a penis, whether or not he wanted it to cum blood

xp(2)

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:37 (nineteen years ago)

Swollen with liquid
Ready to burst
A load of my lymph
Will quench this dead body's thirst
One month in the grave
twisted and half decayed
She turned a putrid yellow
I pissed in her maggot filled asshole
Fucking the rotting
My semen is bleeding
The smell of decay
Seeps from her genital cavity
The smell was unbearable As I unburied her
I cum blood from my erection
I feel it run
down her throat, swallow
Eyes glassy and vacant
body dug up to play with
Skin greasy and naked
tonguing her rotted anus
I need a live woman
to fill with my fluid
A delicate girl, to mutilate, fuck and kill
her body exceptional
she thought I was normal
but I wanted more
I came blood inside of her
choking on the clot
gagging on the snot
gushing blood, from her mouth
bloody gel leaking out
Body buried in a shallow grave
Unmarked for none to find
The sickness I have left behind
Undetected go my crimes
The greatest thrill of my life
to slit my cock with a knife

-jess

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:42 (nineteen years ago)

blood in cum?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi, last night after i masturbated, i noticed there're some blood stains in my cum. it doesnt really hurt or feel strange though. i never had blood in my cum before but just last night, could it be some kind of infection or disease? i've had protected sex last year with a girl and after 3month i done a STD test and it was negative, i didint have any sex with anyone during that 3 month period neither. how reliable would that test be? is it HIV related or is it an infection? sorry im kinda freaked out. thanks for any replies.

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 02:44 (nineteen years ago)

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