dirt bag style

my apartment's stairwell smelled like gross cat food and puke this morning

I have no security deposit on my current place, does that mean I get to not clean it? dear landlord, sorry about the mildew in the bathroom and kitchen floor stickiness that never seems to go away

before i moved to ldn, i figured out that my building's mgmt company had about 4 months worth of rent in various bullshit deposits and fees. cleaning, moving stuff out save for what i wanted to take with me, and paying the last month's rent quickly fell by the wayside.

i had no security deposit at the first apt i lived in in manhattan. i left that place looking like a murder scene.

I got you all beat, I bought a whole house just so I could use it to murder people

like, literally, between the sangria vomit stains and the red hair dye spills all over the carpet.

xpost uh

wow

oh come on

ok that is funny, yr right

found maggots in trash can the other day

car has been missing side view mirror for almost 14 months

havent changed water in wading pool in my driveway for 2 weeks, still get in it when drunk

I have no hope of getting my security deposit back, I just hope they don't try to charge me for anything beyond that. Can they do that??

yes

dead milipedes/spiders/insects everywhere all over the floor of my room

gross!!

i kinda draw the line at bugs and vermin - that and health effects are the main motivations for cleaning apartment
still have stacks of papers and books everywhere but kitchen and bathroom though - that might never change, as it never has

three years of cat vomit & poop stains on the carpet :(

rent a shop vac????

hree years of cat vomit & poop stains on the carpet :(

-- Jordan, Wednesday, August 1, 2007 7:56 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that too.

actually the bugs aren't so bad now since i vacuumed, dusted, etc. the other day. still my room gets a lot of bugs:-/

ughh drinking 40s of steel reserve cuz wana get drunk and no $$.

Steel Reserve tastes like that weird sawdust stuff they used to soak up pukes out of the carpet in elementary school.

stop dude

that stuff was a little lemony

steel reserve was drink of choice jr year of HS, before we moved on to gennesee cream ale.

yah well you'll come back to it in your late 20s. we all do.

how am i living an even dirt baggier lifestyle than i was a year ago

new york will do that to a man.

yeah even the trees in new york are dirtbags

also can I use "dirt baggier" for a character in my new play

ha

all my shoes have holes in them, i have discovered

my pits stink.

(but i like it.)

me too rrrobyn! it's really sad. even my longest lasting shoes, the doc martens that i've had for 12 years, got holes in them this year. r.i.p. shoesss

Tombot that character's name has to be pronounced "Deert Baw-j-yay". He's Francophone Swiss.

write a research paper for a high school kid for 75 bucks

that's real

I am wondering if I can make my sneakers look nice again with WD40?

Dr. Bronners and a brillo sponge

i was wondering if i could fix the hole in the heal of my sneaker with super glue and rubber cement?

totally

Dr. Bronners and a brillo sponge

-- sexyDancer, Thursday, November 15, 2007 5:17 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i have these

I cleaned my sneaks destroyed inna No Fun Fest mosh pit this way.

not a brillo pad tho!

Oh, I'm Dirty Dan, the world's dirtiest man,
I never have taken a shower.
I can't see my shirt--it's so covered with dirt,
And my ears have enough to grow flowers.

But the water is either a little too hot,
Or else it's a little too cold.
I'm musty and dusty and patchy and scratchy
And mangy and covered with mold.
But the water is always a little too hot,
Or else it's a little too cold.

I live in a pen with five hogs and a hen
And three squizzly lizards who creep in
My bed, and they itch as I squirm, and I twitch
In the cruddy old sheets that I sleep in.

In you looked down my throat with a flashlight, you'd note
That my insides are coated with rust.
I creak when I walk and I squeak when I talk,
And each time I sneeze I blow dust.

The thought of a towel and soap makes me howl,
And when people have something to tell me
They don't come and tell it--they stand back and yell it.
I think they're afraid they might smell me.

The bedbugs that leap on me sing me to sleep,
And the garbage flies buzz me awake.
They're the best friends I've found and I fear they might drown
So I never go too near a lake.

Each evening at nine I sit down to dine
With the termites who live in my chair,
And I joke with the bats and have intimate chats
With the cooties who crawl in my hair.

I'd brighten my life if I just found a wife,
But I fear that will never be
Until I can find a girl, gentle and kind,
With a beautiful face and a sensitive mind,
Who sparkles and twinkles and glistens and shines--
And who's almost as dirty as me.

i just found a mummified carrot under my couch :o

looks like dirty dan found his girl

ughh drinking 40s of steel reserve cuz wana get drunk and no $$.

omigod i need to get a job pronto before i tread any further towards semi-alchoholism

i hate, hate, hate, to say it, but i guess that i'm one of those people who needs some external structure in my life...elsewise i tend to end up fucking off and indulging all of my worst tendencies

i've moved up to 40's of high life and 24 cans of tecate.

cheers, brah