dirt bag style

i once wadded up a bright pink flyer at stuck it in my ear because i didn't bring ear plugs to a show

they fell out of my right ear and i had a ringing in that ear from the noize for a couple months afterward

i went to the doctor a couple of months later because that ear was hurting

he reached in with really long tweezers and took out the wadded up flier. it looked like wadded up rolling papers rubbed with lard

omg

probably going to flush the living daylights out of my ears with those drops and the rubber bulb thing this week

whatever I am getting over junk spraying out of my eyes, I can only imagine the state of my ears

I got my ears cleaned out once via water pump, and got really bad vertigo

then again I have 'dry ear wax' so it doesn't build up

I use my pinky to clean out my ears all the time in public, wonder if people think it's weird/gross for me todo that

no worse than picking your nose, imo

I think I am the master of the covert nose pick but maybe everybody else is being polite

last week I took my car in for an oil change, and wisely cleaned out a collection of empty cans and trash on the floor in the back. went in to pick it up, glanced in the back, and noticed an open condom wrapper with a condom stuffed back in it peeking out from underneath the floor mat

Do you know the story behind it?

you reach for the wrapper pick it up & on the back it says with compliments, joe's autoyard

"that old condom smell"

note: I have not had sex in my car
I do think I know where it came from, though, and it wasn't placed there by a third party

Searching frantically through the detritus on the passenger side for a buffalo springfield cd that the library says is missing, I unearthed a gallon tub of macaroni & cheese that my mom sent home with us when we visited her last month.

also, re the earwax thing above, my son apparently found a box of qtips that fell out of the grocery bag. he's been idly cleaning his ears on car rides and tossing the used qtips on the floor.

ooh, that macaroni

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJK9m__K2Aw

i change my socks three times a year / with no one to complain

i have twice been reprimanded in food service jobs for needing to have better personal hygiene :(
when i lived in an unheated warehouse space are the bathroom was really far away so i bought a 2 gallon deer park water thing, emptied it out, and then peed in it all winter.

in high school my brother used to save his used condoms in a shoebox and decided to show me one day, i think my eyes literally watered at the smell

deathbrone

I have a story of peeing in containers but Im scared tos hare it

im legitimately considering the viability of using dry shampoo in lieu of washing my hair regularly like a normal person

when i lived in an unheated warehouse space are the bathroom was really far away

Oh shit were we roommates?

guys please dont conflate this thread with:

How Gross Are You?

v v important distinction

mine were both because of laziness (was only issued one work shirt) so i thought it germane
my brother's, i dunno

i lived in the copycat in baltimore btw

not joking when i read your post i just thought "baltimore"

haha

note: I have not had sex in my car
I do think I know where it came from, though, and it wasn't placed there by a third party

curious as to who counts as a second party in this scenario

It was me. Also, the second party is the one who also had sex? Seems obvious.

since you said you didn't have sex there, there was a lot of non-obviousness inherent

yeah mh, still confused over here

he put it in the car after he was done having sex not in the car

idk it's a mystery ~~

let's concentrate on what's important here: slam dunk's undeniable commitment to this style

i have been rotating b/w the same two pairs of socks for approx a month, washing the 'old' pair in the bathroom sink and drying on the radiator

with all due respect mh let's please concentrate on why you brought your cummy used condom into the car with you

it may be a mystery but it is a mystery worth solving, at least to this inquisitive mind

i'm pretty cleaned up now, but during the worst of a long depression i wore the same undershirt for nearly a month. sometimes i'd have an entire subway seat row to myself, homeless bag man style. one day my friend demanded that she wash my shirt, and when we opened the washing machine door to check on the progress the water had turned completely black. those were some good days.

Nope, sorry.

lol i remember once a punk friend came to visit after being on the road for a while and i was like let's wash those black jeans of yours and turns out they were actually light blue

i lived in the copycat in baltimore btw

― slam dunk, Monday, December 3, 2012 8:51 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I slept in one of those treehouse things at America once and that was an experience.

Also I haven't used shampoo in maybe 4 years?

when i go to the movies i pull half-eaten buckets of popcorn out of the trash and eat them instead of buying new corn

went so long without showering in college that the exchange student that was working at the dining hall asked me if it was raining outside. it wasn't.

i lived in the copycat in baltimore btw

― slam dunk, Monday, December 3, 2012

this explains so so much.

You know what? I visited the Copycat a couple times, tagging along with a friend of mine. All I remember about it was skateboards, basketballs, and a really awful punk band rehearsing.

i lived in the copycat in baltimore btw

― slam dunk, Monday, December 3, 2012

this explains so so much.

― bob chipeska (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, December 6, 2012 3:54 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

woke up to mice turds on my pillow like a visit from bizarro tooth fairy

Cleaned out my car last night in a mall parking garage while I was waiting to picuk someone up from work. I didn't want to put my trash in any of the plastic bags I had in there, since thy come in handy as trashcsn liners around the home, you know? So I just started marching handfuls of car detritus over to the trashcans near the entrance. At some point, a young couple posted up.at the trashcan I'd been dumping all this stuff in, and I caught myself mumbling under my breath about "stealing my trashcan. The robitussin I'd taken earlier in the evening no doubt played a role in all this.

Anyway, carrying armload after armload of car trash, including the contents of a bag of Bugles I had spilled all over the passenger side on New Years' Eve, struck me as pretty dirtbag. I was self-conscious about it, but I had to do this fuckin thing, you know? It had been one of the new years resolutions to get the interior clean,and so I madeprogress on that. But I was so stoked when I found this can on Pepsi Max that I dsnt even know I had.

So I said "I'll drink that on the way to work in the morning. I can save the money I'd have spent on coffee." I'm on the bus now and get to drinking it., but its a little off. Best Taste date on the bottom of the can? February 2012. How long have I been rolling with that Pepsi Max anyway?

car stuff just accumulates, man. not at all dbs but I have a book in the back of mine that I got at the used bookstore, didn't take out, and keep thinking "yeah, if I'm stuck somewhere without a book, I'll read that one, better just keep it in the car for now"

it's probably been in there at least six months by now

I found a completely mummified banana in the back seat of my friend's car a few weeks ago - I was pretty impressed. Looked centuries old (and completely intact in its shrivelled state, no leakage or weird smell)!

I had a half-eaten burrito in the back for over a month, luckily it was cold outside or my car would completely smell like death by now