dirt bag style

My fridge has spilled chili oil and spilled fish sauce all over the inner door. It probably smells like ass but ~anosmic dirt bag style~

I am doing pretty good at keeping my house clean otherwise except this stratigraphic pile of 90% finished knitting projects chilling by my computer monitor.

when i moved out of my last apartment i finally cleaned up a slick of spilled "wild cherry" schnapps that had been fossilizing under my (fully transparent) crisper drawer for nearly a year. it had hardened to a bright red enamel that resisted soap and hot water. had to chip it out with a spatula.

guests brought and spilled the schnapps, not that that excuses anything

I found a slick of dried orange chicken sauce on my counter under some dishes. I sprayed some counter spray on it to clean it up, but I think I forgot about it and now I'll have a dried layer of countertop cleaner on top of it

you lost me at 'countertop cleaner'

man I shoulda taken a picture of my fridge for an example of dirtbag fridge

until yesterday the only thing on the bottom shelf was a bag of spinach that I had left there for like 2 months...it had turned all black and watery...when I took it out the other day, black-spinach-juice got everywhere

yeah, that is kind of what is tried under my crisper drawers

tried = dried

empty glass knocked over by cat (but not broken) still on my bedroom floor

i slept on my mattress rude for like a week because i could not be bothered to put on the sheets i'd washed. which were in a pile next to the bed.

You people are disgusting.

I should probably remove the carpet of cat fur before I have people over later this month, since some are allergic

You people are disgusting.

read the sign on the door lady

picking ear wax out of my ear with a tiny screwdriver meant for eyeglasses repair

This thread reminds me that it's still possible to think well of people who are totally gross. Just a little perspective adjusting.

hahaha

picking ear wax out of my ear with a tiny screwdriver meant for eyeglasses repair

philips or flathead?

flat, works pretty well

cant believe you used a flathead you disgusting savage

ever since I stopped biting my nails (-1 dirt bag points) I can use my pinky nail to clean out my ear wax (+10 DBPs). And do a bunch of coke, obviously.

i had to go to the doctor to get an ear flushed out last week because it had too much earwax-- it was painless, took 3 minutes, and i felt like a new man afterwards

about a year ago I tried to use a q-tip after not using one for a long time, and it pressed the earwax againt the drum = constant and horrible ringing sound for some days straight. the moment after the doctor sucked it out w/ a vacuum was among the better moments in my life.

according to him never clean your ears

my doctor said the official rule is NEVER put ANYTHING in your ear INCLUDING q-tips (thats how i got too much wax plugging up my eardrum)

but if you HAVE to use q-tips, try and be conscious of how you use the q-tip: use it like a shovel, not a battering ram.

also, things like tiny screwdrivers, keys, paperclips are terrible ideas because of bacteria and chance of cutting something

the moment after the doctor sucked it out w/ a vacuum was among the better moments in my life.

otm.

it felt like i has super-human hearing in that ear for the next hour or so

also, things like tiny screwdrivers, keys, paperclips are terrible ideas because of bacteria and chance of cutting something

― ♆ (gr8080)

Take it to the Proper Use of Hygenic Instruments thread.

i once wadded up a bright pink flyer at stuck it in my ear because i didn't bring ear plugs to a show

they fell out of my right ear and i had a ringing in that ear from the noize for a couple months afterward

i went to the doctor a couple of months later because that ear was hurting

he reached in with really long tweezers and took out the wadded up flier. it looked like wadded up rolling papers rubbed with lard

omg

probably going to flush the living daylights out of my ears with those drops and the rubber bulb thing this week

whatever I am getting over junk spraying out of my eyes, I can only imagine the state of my ears

I got my ears cleaned out once via water pump, and got really bad vertigo

then again I have 'dry ear wax' so it doesn't build up

I use my pinky to clean out my ears all the time in public, wonder if people think it's weird/gross for me todo that

no worse than picking your nose, imo

I think I am the master of the covert nose pick but maybe everybody else is being polite

last week I took my car in for an oil change, and wisely cleaned out a collection of empty cans and trash on the floor in the back. went in to pick it up, glanced in the back, and noticed an open condom wrapper with a condom stuffed back in it peeking out from underneath the floor mat

Do you know the story behind it?

you reach for the wrapper pick it up & on the back it says with compliments, joe's autoyard

"that old condom smell"

note: I have not had sex in my car
I do think I know where it came from, though, and it wasn't placed there by a third party

Searching frantically through the detritus on the passenger side for a buffalo springfield cd that the library says is missing, I unearthed a gallon tub of macaroni & cheese that my mom sent home with us when we visited her last month.

also, re the earwax thing above, my son apparently found a box of qtips that fell out of the grocery bag. he's been idly cleaning his ears on car rides and tossing the used qtips on the floor.

ooh, that macaroni

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJK9m__K2Aw

i change my socks three times a year / with no one to complain

i have twice been reprimanded in food service jobs for needing to have better personal hygiene :(
when i lived in an unheated warehouse space are the bathroom was really far away so i bought a 2 gallon deer park water thing, emptied it out, and then peed in it all winter.

in high school my brother used to save his used condoms in a shoebox and decided to show me one day, i think my eyes literally watered at the smell

deathbrone

I have a story of peeing in containers but Im scared tos hare it

im legitimately considering the viability of using dry shampoo in lieu of washing my hair regularly like a normal person

when i lived in an unheated warehouse space are the bathroom was really far away

Oh shit were we roommates?

guys please dont conflate this thread with:

How Gross Are You?

v v important distinction

mine were both because of laziness (was only issued one work shirt) so i thought it germane
my brother's, i dunno