dirt bag style

I sleep on a matress on the floor no frame, but, uh, it's on a boxspring or w/e

My car has broken glass in the passenger-side foot place. I guess my wife brought a mason jar of iced tea into the car and then left it to get sucked up by all the rest of the junk there. Then I set something down on it and now it's a pile of junk full of broken glass.

I've heard of roaches being INSIDE THE MICROWAVE DISPLAY WINDOW...

Similar thing happened in this really cool but really gone-to-shit former hotel/apartment I lived in for a bit. In bed watching the Fox late night lineup on the tube and see movement to my left. Take a glance at my radio alarm clock and crawling on the inside of the display window was this two-inch long, hundred-legged prehistoric looking motherfucker of an insect. Really gave me the heebie jeebies. That place had a huge bug problem. I can't see how I tolerated it, looking back. Kept one of those pistols that shoots suction cupped missiles by the bed for shooting roaches on the wall across the room.

this is surely not a thread in which we own furniture

― desperado, rough rider (thomp), Thursday, March 8, 2012 7:39 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Most apts I encountered in England came furnished which would explain Thomp's flat with bed. That is not the case in the US. Nearly all apartments here are unfurnished.

I would love a bed that wasn't on the floor.

xp: You have to use the same furniture as the last tenant?

yes

Both flats we lived in were furnished and that seemed to be the norm when we were looking. It is just basic stuff. Each place we rented came with a bed, couches, end tables, and a small table and chairs set. I don't know if that's what it's like throughout England but it seemed true of London at least.

london, you are dirtbag like a motherfucker.

in my first apt i had a filthy futon mattress on the floor. the place being a dank shithole the thing rotted from the bottom. so in my 2nd apt for like 5 months i slept on a blanket on the hardwood floor. then i found a mattress on the street and brought it home.

this prob doesn't count but:

went to sleep with a breathe-right strip on my nose, woke up with it stuck to my palm

ha no that doesn't count

what would count:

went to sleep with a breathe-right strip on my nose last month, woke up with it stuck to my palm today

haha yeah

getting out of bed with change stuck to your butt or back is a classic.

i took a shower at a friend's house once and there were all these rusty/green pennies in the bathtub-- i asked him what that was all about and he said they stick to him when he falls asleep on his sofa and he doesn't realize it till they fall off in the shower and then he just leaves them there.

dude is a dirt bag hero.

extra gross bc pennies indicate infrequency of cleaning shower

bingo.

i have no idea why unfurnished rental places would be the norm, that would be insane. i am assuming there is a decent sector of this stuff in places with migrant worker or student populations?

aaaaanyway since this thread was last revived a mouse has moved into the coil behind our fridge.

unfurnished rentals are the norm in most cities in the US, but not in Honolulu

xp: in america, poor students largely just buy shitty furniture or scavenge it from alleys.

what happens to all that furniture when the tenant moves out? damn

All of which furniture?

I had no idea that furnished apartments were available besides at residence hotel type places, much less a common thing somewhere! The few times I see an ad for a furnished apartment I feel very suspicious, like is the furniture haunted? Embedded with spy cams?

i have a story about a milkshake machine and roaches but i think it is more suited to the food service horror stories thread than this one

i will say that it climaxes in a volcanic eruption of cockroach chunks

what do landlords do when someone moves out and leaves furniture behind? xxp

I kind of dig getting rice grains stuck in my sinuses, it feels good to snort them out and eat them

wrong thread, broseph

You're not allowed to leave furniture behind. W/ my current property mgmt. company, if you do, you are charged a $200 clean-up fee (this company does do security deposits; companies that do would retain part of your deposit). In the past when I rented from individual slumlandlords who owned only a building or two, you could ask them if it was OK to leave furniture behind and they would probably say OK unless it was gross.

when I say "hmm, maybe I should organize my fridge"
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s320x320/529969_10100603735511160_16907950_49682394_634334339_n.jpg

nah.

too many healthy groceries to be dirt bag style

ya if that's a dirtbag fridge...

was expecting a minority report fridge tbh

dirt bag fridge would be like, 4 bottles of various condiments and something unidentifiable in a plastic container that has been in there for like 6 months

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVSPhWr_MJI

current contents of my fridge:

• water pitcher
• thai food takeout leftovers
• tub of vegan margarine
• about a dozen rolls of film
• three cans of four loko (original recipe)
• box of baking soda

would buy a can of 4 loko from you

Here's my guess on mh situation. Day 1, early: You started off strong. Hit the store, loaded up on healthy shit. Man I'm gonna eat so good this week. Gonna save $$ on lunch and not eatin' out too. Day 1, late night: Pizza. Save two slices. That can be lunch tomorrow.

I have about rolls of film and a box of baking soda in my fridge too. lol

yeah there's actually two containers of bok choi and one is turning yellow

Here's my guess on mh situation. Day 1, early: You started off strong. Hit the store, loaded up on healthy shit. Man I'm gonna eat so good this week. Gonna save $$ on lunch and not eatin' out too. Day 1, late night: Pizza. Save two slices. That can be lunch tomorrow.

― andrew m., Tuesday, April 10, 2012 12:29 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh god this is a little too close to home

nah it was more like "this is two weeks of random fresh food shopping" coupled with a bunch of stuff that's not going to spoil fast like yogurt and fruit cups and ingredients I'm going to make kimchi with this week

then there's the random detritus on the top shelf like some scallions where I used the green end and a container of blood orange juice that I extracted because the oranges were going bad

btw my new iron has a rubber stopper that plugs up the water reservoir when not in use

I don't know if you can even still post in this thread anymore, jeez

it was still the 2nd cheapest iron for sale at walmart so

lol u own an iron

tbf he never said he was going to wash the shirts before ironing

fill the water reservoir with half febreeze

dirtbag style: a dried puddle of meat juices underneath the crisper

yeah I do not know what that dried puddle is but I am pretty sure it's vegetation-related, like perhaps the drippings from a bag of decayed cilantro

About a month ago I washed moldy tupperware with shampoo and hand soap because that was I had.

I feel like I've def showered with dish detergent before