Damage ContrLOLz

i know!! i have no way to verify it but i am told it is 100% real

i want to believe!!

oh my god this is amazing

oh my god this becomes EVEN MORE AMAZING faster than I could have possibly imagined

my friend claims to have seen several of the letters irl, so it has to be real, right? RIGHT?

August 14, 1987

Dear Mark,

You requested that I should ask my friends if you were justified in refusing to pay for exercising the bad spirits from my home, and I did!

Here’s how they voted:
3 people felt my request was unreasonable
4 people felt that my request was reasonable but you were within your rights to refuse (including Karen!)
2 people felt that my request was reasonable and you should have paid
2 person felt that my request was reasonable and you are being completely unreasonable

So it looks like my friends agree with you. I’m going to ask them again after the harmonic convergence. I’ll let you know if they’ve changed their mind.

Ellen

Listen guys just do me a favor here - when someone inevitably find out that it's not real (because really how could something this good be an acutal thing?) just don't tell us, OK? Don't shatter my illusions. I'd rather be kept in the dark on this one.

Thanks,

Erica

I am beside myself over these

friend posting on fb re: the origins:

"They were gift to him from somebody who worked at a copy shop. If I remember correctly, somebody had copied the letters there, and one of the employees had the forsight to make a copy for themselves to enjoy after the customer left. I think it was a favorite pass time of the copy shop employees, until one made a copy for Josh for his birthday. Feel free to correct me or fill any blanks, Mr. Hallmark."

Dear Ellen:

It is true that I used to give firewood to Marsha Blackman. It is also true that I still give free firewood to some of my tenants - those with fireplaces.

Your cottage has no wood stove or fireplace.

Sincerely,
Mark

Dear Mark,

I know I haven’t gotten a fireplace. If I did have one, I would have seen it by now! But it’s irrelavent.

If you give free firewood to your other tenants, I should get a free share too!

Yours,
Ellen

and to think: there are 2 more years' of correspondence to look forward to

Good cause I just read the most recent and was sad there weren't more.

Noting the harmonic convergence added some realism.

the whole thing is hilarious but the rent control argument is another level of amazing

also this:

August 25, 1987

Dear Mark,

Guru Lahera has just informed of the sad news that the monastery near Trincomalee, Sri Lanka has been attacked by communist gorillas and guru Patel has probably been killed.* Guru Lahera has gone back to Sri Lanka to attend to matters and meditate. So temporarily I’m going to have to put off the exercising of my house spirits, although I know you probably want to get this over with almost as much as I do.

Temporarily I’m going to try to lure the bad spirits from the house by putting a spirit house in the garden. The spirit house costs $200 plus the cost of the food and the gifts to be placed inside. I’ll understand if you don’t want to pay for this expense in addition to the exercism sometime later.

Yours,
Ellen

*You shouldn’t blame yourself too much for this.

this is destined for a book deal

In my mind Ellen sort of looks like a hippie-fied version of Elayne Boosler in lost of flowy Chicos sort of clothing. Her guru shit was killing me.

psyched for the ray and eddie crossover.

Ellen's first letter is next-level hilarious

"That means you owe me a refund of $9200.00 according to my boyfriend."

karen's boyfriend's math is the most amazing math

hmmmmmm

http://thetenants.blogspot.com/

?

this is making me lol:

Dear Mark:

I keep the windows closed because the people who use the car wash on the corner play their car radios very loudly and it is to nosey in here with the windows open when people who use the car wash play their car radios very loudly when they wash their cars.

Yours,
Karen

ha amon, if this was an old xerox meme of yesteryear i'm not surprised someone else found the letters internet-worthy as well

well this is brilliant

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/bananaman-screen.jpg
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/11/08/reporter-dresses-as-grapes-to-defend-boy-suspended-for-banana-suit/

omg the latest karen & ellen update is glorious: http://karenandellen.tumblr.com/post/12524879817/i-think-this-is-serious

what the hell

why is she writing her landlord about "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

because she is completely stoned out of her gourd?

she makes some important points

The school’s principal was ultimately forced to resign, and Thompson has since returned to his studies.

happy ending!

it's very a-peeling

feel like he's gonna be guesting on an OFWGKTA video

I think those tenants are definitely fucking with the landlord

ok i havent yet got to the letters but can i say i watched the bike crash like 5 times and the rider getting bitchy when they end makes me lose it every time.

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n276/lyrical_savage/homerrunningincircles.gif

^^^ what I was thinking too

sorry i am behind w/this but

April 11, 1988

Dear Mark:

I keep the windows closed because the people who use the car wash on the corner play their car radios very loudly and it is to nosey in here with the windows open when people who use the car wash play their car radios very loudly when they wash their cars.

Yours,
Karen

Legendary Music Producer Jimmy Iovine explains how he and Dr. Dre conceived Beats headphones:
http://youtu.be/tHOqMN8GD7s?t=1m34s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHOqMN8GD7s&t=1m34s

(at 1:34)

Hardware

That is pretty amusing right there

fuck sneakers

lonely dre just walking along the beach thinking baout sneakers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgUIbPfhSuo

The first time I ever went to a Target, I was wearing khaki shorts and a red shirt, not knowing that khaki and red were their uniform colors. I was a little embarrassed, but kinda excited because I got an idea to get a whole bunch of people to go into Target dressed in khaki and red. I got home and told my roommate about my cool plan and she said "Why the fuck would you want to do that?"

lol

whats the point of doing that if you're just going to let best buy kick you out

occupy best buy

this is what shopping looks like