Deal breakers

stoner

poor belly button hygiene

^^^ very important

says a racial slur

has an Ayn Rand quote on a bumpersticker on her car

has a bumpersticker on her car

shit i meant that to say "has a 'my other car is a broom' bumpersticker on her car"

has a car

WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY

is Ayn Rand's corpse reincarnate

WELL BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE MONEY

smokes a lot of cigs

never smokes cigs

doesn't like rap

hates receiving oral sex

watches biopics on pop culture figures about whom she knows nothing

reads memoirs (ghost)written by pop culture figures about whom she knows nothing

is obsessed with '40s/'50s American pop culture; owns every season of I Love Lucy on dvd and bothers to watch the commentary

has been photographed with Matisyahu

elmo has obviously never received oral sex from a stutterer

ooh! sincere Bettie Page fandom

complains about walking

^^^arccos

oh wait deal BREAKERS yeah ok agreed

Don't worry, Jon, you're completely safe from me.

favorite bands: U2, The Smiths, The Police, Talking Heads

gets some sense of identity from where they live.

joanna newsome fandom

Hates my family

-- Laurel, Friday, 4 January 2008 02:20 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

if your family doesn't get drunk and scream bigoted insults, fair enough

says "bingo" when orgasming

voice drops two octaves when orgasming, woofing

My dad gave me a shitty lecture about the number of empty beer cans he was seeing on the back porch and how that's unacceptable in his house. I refrained from promising not to come to his house anymore, since it was Christmas Eve and it seemed inopportune.

^^^ would never happen with my family ^^^

was he talking about drinking to excess or littering?

talks about Napoleon Dynamite or Superbad all the time

so you're breaking the deal with hetero dork-men?

Friday, November 30, 2007
So I was an extra on a movie last night

To my dear sweet Michael Cera,

It was a pleasure to meet you last night.

Although our conversation was all too brief, I can tell that it meant something special to the both of us. Yes, when you declared whilst at the kraft table for your one-day-to-be-released teenage romantic comedy that it was a cold night out, and I responded in the affirmative, did you feel the sparks that rose between us? It isn't every day where you find someone who is able to discuss, in such a concise yet pointed way, the direct effect the weather has on human comfort.

“Wow, it's cold out here,” you said, retreating into the inner warmth of your jacket like a baby bird nestling into its mother's feathery bosom.
“Sure is,” I replied as I cupped my coffee gingerly.
“Is that prosciutto?” you asked, your voice cracking in that titillating, just out of puberty way.

You were facing one of the many assistants on the set, but I knew you were addressing me. I reached to stroke the back of your neck and reassure you that it was most definitely Italian ham, but thought better of it last minute. It would be tacky to so publicly display our amour.

Not to be overly sappy, but your words warmed my heart – making the night worth the ten hours I had spent sitting in a inhumanely freezing room, being an unused extra for what looks like will become the Citizen Kane of the iPod wearing generation.

So, my luscious lamb chop of a man-child, when should we tell our friends about the wedding? When 'Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist' wraps? Must we wait that long to officially declare our love? I pine to have you near me again, my inamorato, but if we must postpone our liaisons, I will do it patiently. For you.

Millions and hugs and kisses,
Elaine

P.S. We didn't get around to it this time, but please give me a chance next time to sit you on my knee and bounce you up and down like a baby.

P.P.S. You're legal now, right?

!!!

says 'question' before asking a question

writes for a newspaper

-- Pleasant Plains, Thursday, January 3, 2008 11:34 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

DEAL MAKER

says 'question' before asking a question

i know right? FUNK DAT

not "into" politics

i kind of get you, but DEAL MAKER still

cold hearted
cannot show emotions
talks about beating people up
racial slurs
dorito breath
cold mouth!

the one that is an ABSOLUTE deal breaker is the dorito breath one!

likes bikes
says "soccer"
loud talking
taller than me

likes xkcd
does not like achewood

enjoys the works of Paul Haggis

musician

^^^understandable

- tells me she wants to "dress me"

has taste commiserate w/anyone on this thread and/or smells like them

"lips that touch meat will never touch mine"

what does that mean??

vegetarians. i think.