LOLZ @ LAWYERS

Which is worse, smoking meth or sexually assaulting a child?

(wait for it)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HptQM0IVwkE

haha it's prob like his millionth drug case. not that it's ok but still

prob shouldn't be recognized as the guy who spits on bailiffs either but still

i saw a guy tell the judge 'suck my cock you motherfucking bitch' and another guy say 'go suck a dick you're a faggot,' and many more. good times.

don't often say this but angry handcuffed tweeker otm

tweaker truth bombs

http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/lgl/1849465604.html

I recently graduated from law school and am licensed to practice in the state of wisconsin. i have taken classes in legal writing, trial skills, and have participated in moot court. I am also skills in computer programs such as: Westlaw, LexusNexus, Fastcase, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Office, and Excel. I have done two internship and have also worked as a law clerk. I am currently seeking a full time position or an entry level position.

Whoa hey, just saw the Cutty resignation notice. Congrats. Striking out on your own?

naw i joined a small music law firm. bicoastal.

sweet - did you search for that for a while or just kind of happen into it?

ohhhh . . . i'm kind of jealous. congratulations, cutty.

just happened into it vis a vis a friend i went to school with. took a pay cut (from already meager NYC attorney salary), less vacation, and more hours.

haven't regretted that decision yet!

we rep your DN hurting, just got signed to w4rn3r br0s

bicoastal

hi adam

yeah, joining friends can be good. i left a very stable firm situation 10 years ago (a NYC firm, as it happens) to work with friends from college, and i've been here -- and happy -- ever since. i'm glad it's working out for you, too.

They say everyone's naturally bicoastal, nothing to be ashamed of

i've never been to california

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdZeqvDknfU&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ALmgArYW8Y

look at this website a work of art

if there's one thing i can't stand more than a well-educated jury . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOajzfDQbKU&feature=player_embedded

"boys, let's make 'em pay."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxZT_VdOaI&feature=player_embedded

car crashes = nice touch imo.

"get. what's. yours."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lANJc_QIXU0&feature=player_embedded

haha!

"pay me, pay me, pay me -- now!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HM6ZMmZEVQ&feature=player_embedded

"barry glazer -- legal advocate for the injured, disabled, and urinated upon."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QjnoW4d_Io&feature=player_embedded

depressing, actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlarMN5SCs4&feature=player_embedded

bullylawyer.com

lol lawyers.

I think I've seen that divorce lawyer one before! definitely depressing, but so classic

http://www.divorceez.com/

<3 Barry Glazer

dying @ "urinated upon"

your-inate

urinate talent

this is likely too "insider-baseball"-ish to be funny to anyone but litigators, but i lol'ed at this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMvARy0lBLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bARGkTgRsLQ

http://barryglazer.com/dontpeeonme.htm

Don’t Pee on Me!

Barry’s Top Ten Legal Insanities!

1. RELEASING KILLERS AND RAPIST BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T ADVISED OF THEIR RIGHTS.

Do you think a supreme court that could constitutionally justify segregation would be able to come up with a really good argument to keep them in jail if these killers and rapists were released in their neighborhood? We are the only country that releases known killers for not giving them notice of their rights. Seems a little out of balance that if someone murders someone they are forgiven because they weren’t told they were entitled to a lawyer. This is something they probably knew anyway. Can’t we come up with some other way to make it up to the killer? How about a free subscription to the daily record?

2. VICTIMLESS CRIMES.

Drugs or Prostitution? For god’s sake why haven’t we figured this one out yet? The money, time, and resources spent on this is absurd. Police love to pursue these types of crimes especially the sex ones. I can assure you its fun for them; you think they do this because they are outraged or offended by sex. Getting paid for going undercover to have sex with masseuses, strippers, or prostitutes is most men’s fantasy job. They actually have married cops doing this at times. Hello…..????
Drug crimes are among the most unfair and counter-productive. Any person with money and brains can find a doctor who can be manipulated to prescribe drugs for recreation. We hear about big names abusing in this way all the time but it goes on everywhere in a less public way.
We make heroes out of drug dealers in their neighborhood and divert otherwise entrepreneurial type individuals into dealers that the kids look up to. The dealers have the money and the best looking women, which it is all about anyway...

3. CRIMINALIZING INTERNET VIEWINGS.

I’m no fan of perverts and child molesters and defending them is not one of my priorities but putting otherwise productive perverts in jail for multiple years because they looked at an underage perverted act makes no sense. Sure you can argue that they are making the activity in demand and therefore contributing to it. You could also make that argument about every disgusting activity on the internet and there are many. It is possible that by viewing this on the internet many perverts can relieve their revolting activities without engaging a real life victim. Let’s not forget that there’s a good chance they were molested as a child themselves. As long as they’re not acting out, let’s just leave them alone. It’s a big waste of resources and another diversion we don’t have time for.

4. GETTING VICTIMIZED TWICE.

If you are in an accident where you are merely a bystander and can’t prove who was at fault, you can’t recover. An example would be where you were sleeping as a passenger and involved in a serious accident at a light controlled intersection. There are no witnesses and both drivers claim the other had the red light. You may never get the trial to jury and if you do, you might still not be compensated.

You think you’re covered with “full coverage” auto insurance” from every type of accident. A deer runs in front of your vehicle and you are seriously injured. Guess what? You have no place to go! If a car did the same and took off, you’re covered, but if it is a horse or wagon, you’re not!

5. LOOSING YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR DEED TITLED A CERTAIN WAY.

This typically occurs to the most vulnerable and hard working individuals who scrape to get their house payments up to date. At last, finally they own their own home. Then tragedy strikes. They end up in a nursing home and Medicare runs out, which takes about three months. They then become personally responsible for the charges. The next coverage available is medical assistance, which won’t kick in until they are totally broke. This then means they take the house. By titling the house a certain way, they can remain in the house and still be able to sell it or leave it to their kids. There are many other advantages to titling your property the correct way. Note: this must done way before you go to the nursing home.

6. THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS.

A little Supreme Court creative justification might work. How about regulating ammunition? If that doesn’t work, think of something else. Allowing people to carry guns is just plain stupid. Amend the constitution, do a little legal gymnastics, and come up with something. The constitution isn’t the Ten Commandments.

7. ALLOWING INSURANCE COMPANIES TO PAY REPLACEMENT COST ONLY.

This is another one of those disclaimers that hit the less educated and lower income the most. They get taken advantage of when buying a car because of poor credit, they typically overpay at an extremely high interest rate. Their car gets totaled and the insurance company only pays a replacement cost to the finance company, typically leaving a steep balance that the victim is still responsible for. It is easy to imagine the many victims who could not afford another car. They couldn’t get back to work and later lost their job.

8. ALLOWING LOCAL GOVERNMENTS TO COMPETE FOR BUSINESSES.

Why is this allowed? Who wins …only big business. The governments are forced to compete with one another for tax breaks, concessions and contributions. The ones who get the most benefits are the political savvy and politicians who can help. It’s corruptive and totally unfair. Allowing this seems as silly as allowing super rich individuals to negotiate tax rates for the benefits the government get when a rich person moves into a neighborhood.

9. FORCING LAWYERS TO BE BLIND TO RACE WHEN PICKING JURIES.

Give me a break! The result of this is the spectacle of lawyers doing mental gymnastics trying to justify the strike for some other reason. Every real trial lawyer knows you want the jury to identify with your client, be it the job he does, the religion he practices, his weight, the way he dresses, or his age. What could be more important than the experiences he shared with someone of his race? Do I need to say more than O.J? It’s a noble gesture but flies in the face of reality. Let’s try to get real.

10. GENERAL ELECTIONS FOR JUDGES.

What does the general public know about the judges they vote for? Lawyers should be the only people allowed to vote for judges. This would both clean up the process and also in return generate some respect from the judges to the lawyers.

omg i love that youtube clip so much.

pre-law student: i love the constitution.
attorney: if you say it's a living, breathing document, i may kill myself.
pre-law student: but it is.
attorney: oh. no. you're going to make me orphan my daughter. i haven't seen her in three years.

bonus points for the alarmingly stilted robot delivery.

"I hate you. I hope an asteroid hits your dilapidated house in a bad section of town."

"Do you also plan to get divorced?"
"I can't wait to find my soulmut."

Philadelphia Bankruptcy Atty A11an K. Marsha11, right:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_b3_7_kgd8h4/S0V8UmzR3hI/AAAAAAAAhZ4/D_zeJ7dam3U/s400/DSC_9723+%5B400x400%5D.JPG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9QQpMkqzWg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fftKGp1uAHY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZqALtGuXtY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r09ckf7n9DI

glen shoulda said "trabajo" tbh

passed the ny bar y'all

That means soon I can no longer duck the questions of pothead friends with "I'm not allowed to give legal advice"

hey congrats