dirt bag style

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Things in my backyard (which I have managed not to mow in 1+ month):

1. torn down rusted out ancient swingset
2. what used to be a perfectly fine love seat until we put it out there
3. table, same circumstances
4. gas grill which hasn't worked since 1997, which has a...
5. small charcoal grill sitting on top of it
6. upturned tub (once used to house keg, now houses colony of spiders)
7. variety of balls neighbor kids throw over fence, never to be seen again
8. partially collapsed deck (one corner sagging)
9. stairs made of cinder blocks
10.once-descent red brick patio demolished by weeds
11.rusty metal shed (3 different colors sheet metal) containing:
* 3 mowers, 1 working, 1 ancient push-powered variety
* 2 bags of mulch, ripped and spilling
* 1 red-flyer wagon whose wheels will never turn again (rust)
* 1 saw (rusted)
* 1 rake (rusted, missing 4 teeth)
* white chest-of-drawers, possibly housing family of chipmunks

My fence is collapsed in one of the far corners, is held up currently by a series of cinder blocks + rope + coat hangers + duct tape.

DIRTBAG HOMEOWNER YALL

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Monday, 25 September 2006 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

Also, due to a squirrel attic infestation about 2 years ago, none of the ceiling lights in the upstairs of my house work. Also, the standlamp in my bedroom has been burned out for about 3 months, once the sun goes down, total darkness in there. Also there is the matter of the peed upon beanbag chair.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Monday, 25 September 2006 12:10 (nineteen years ago)

Me, drunk, sweaty, destroying a couch with a sledgehammer on my front lawn:

http://static.flickr.com/78/222219044_49b84be0a3.jpg

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Monday, 25 September 2006 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

wow. missed this thread first time around. besides the no wash raw denim thing and the fact that i regularly shave one to two times a month, i'm not that much of a dirt bag. also, i'm married to a germaphobe :(

― jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 19:28 (nineteen years ago)

here's a decent enough story i guess. i regularly find things on the ground and pick them up and bring them home. in college i had a lil' girl's jelly shoe i found on the street (reversed my car to pick it up) and put it on the TV for a year or more.

a couple of years ago found a bunch of photos in a cement block. opened them up, rather sticky and marveled at how weird they were. some were black and white of mexican families on horseback from the 40s. most were of a gay latin couple from the late 70s and early 80s. gigantic mustaches and mexifros. i took them home, put them in an envelope because they were sorta sticky and hid them in my closet. one day the wife was looking for something in the closet and found them and freaked the fuck out thinking i had a secret latin lover. why else would i hide these photos from her.

― jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

im pretty clean except for the fact that my closet and dresser are full of clothes that i never wear so i keep all of my clean clothes in a pile on the floor. dirty clothes get the hamper though.

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

PUT YOUR GLAD RAGS ON

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

ARE YOU A TRIPSTER?!?!?! OMG WTF LOL

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

wondering when that was going to show up

― gbx (skowly), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

i had a Lunchables© for dinner 2nite ;_(

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 27 September 2006 00:52 (nineteen years ago)

today i smell like curry and cheap bourbon.

― bell labs (bell_labs), Friday, 29 September 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

I am so not a dirtbag: even though I got home exhausted, drunk, and knowing I was going to regret the whole thing at 7 o'clock this morning, I still took a shower, brushed teef, and went to bed as usual. No passing out, unwashed and still clothed, at my house!

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

finally changed my pants for first time in month

― boo berry (dubplatestyle), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yeah, and I dropped off my laundry on the way to the train.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

I am pretty much getting all my outfits off the floor of my bedroom at this point.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:20 (nineteen years ago)

same clothes as yesterday + sweater = NO ONE CAN TELL

― disappointing goth fest line-up (orion), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

haha otm "which idenitcal black t-shirt will i wear today?"

― boo berry (dubplatestyle), Friday, 29 September 2006 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

same pants all week

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 29 September 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

same socks all week. Ugh. must do laundry.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Friday, 29 September 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

i'm sad that it is now socks weather again. but i do have a lot of socks at least.

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

Jeans get no more than two wears between washing - I don't even know how you can live with more than that.

this is BONKERS

― shameful bro 'PIMP' (sleep), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe you meant "Jeans get no more than two YEARS between washing"?

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Friday, 29 September 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

i went to laundromat last night for the first time in a long time.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

vic and john soooo otm.

If only Gygax! were here to tell us about the care and feeding of jeans......

rip ;(

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

Noise Dude "I'm pooping as I type this" Thread (5 new answers)
dirt bag style (145 new answers)

― gear (gear), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

amazing happening, i just think same thought. psychic you, psychic! ESPN!

― how much, latebloomer? (latebloomer), Friday, 29 September 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

I own a washer and dryer and haven't done LOAD ONE in a month.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Friday, 29 September 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

Oh no wait, I forgot the load of towels I used to soak up my pee from the (plastic) beanbag chair crater. LOAD ONE.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Friday, 29 September 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

a total dirtbag would've let those towels fester

i for one am kind of glad to know that the beanbag was plastic - i was imagining it being terrycloth for some reason, ugh

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

oh man, dirty towels otm.

― boo berry (dubplatestyle), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

oh dirty towels, yes

― gear (gear), Friday, 29 September 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

I just figure they get clean when I use them to dry my clean body post-shower.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Friday, 29 September 2006 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

that does not work

― rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Friday, 29 September 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

Woke up, stepped in pile of dirty laundry, slipped, landed on coke cans next to gargage can, tried to pull self up on bookshelf, pulled down dirty dishes. Took 10 min nap on floor during snooze function, 'cause fuck it, that's too much to deal with in first 30 seconds of conciousness.

― Fluffy Bear, among 100% of the population (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Friday, 29 September 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

You win.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 29 September 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

I can confirm that the things that FB claims are ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

― John Justen,a ninja slapboxing fajitas out of J. Casablancas dental dam. (johnju, Friday, 29 September 2006 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

strongo: i'm really hungover
trife: yeah, i drank last night too
trife: despite being sick
strongo: i puked in a hotel's comments box yesterday

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 8 October 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

― gbx (skowly), Sunday, 8 October 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

MORE LIKE WILD MAN STYLE AMIRITE

― Jimmy Mod is COMPLETELY MISERABLE SAN DIEGO (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 8 October 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

tiredmanstyle

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 8 October 2006 18:58 (nineteen years ago)

worst part was that it was one of those days where yr drunk by early evening, sober up, and then get drunk again. never good.

worst worst part was that i had to get up today and go to breakfast/lunch in the same nasty, smelly clothes i was wearing the night before and without a shower. ugh.

― shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 8 October 2006 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

i did that too OMG

except i even slept in my clothes AND i smoked like a smokestack last night ... i felt sorry for my 10am students!!

― HUNTA-V (vahid), Monday, 9 October 2006 01:08 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

wake up hung over
wait for girl to leave
make pizza bites that i bought drunk a few days ago
make tea
eat yogurt pretzels while waiting for food to cook

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:34 (nineteen years ago)

woke up today in a maggot-covered blanket.
been cleaning house ever since.
may take weeks
(dirt bag life style)

― Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (sexyDancer), Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

How do maggots get in your blanket???

Worst ever:

tripping my face off
eat left over indian food
are these insect larvae in my samosas???? :/

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh scary!

― sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

moth eat wool, lay eggs, becoming maggots
repeat cycle til moral disgust in humans kills you all
grandma rolling over in grave

― Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (sexyDancer), Sunday, 12 November 2006 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

ewwwwwwwwwwwww

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

took mushrooms while wearing excepter shirt
tried to get cocaine
drank many beers
took an ativin
had sex
passed out

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

dirt bag

― Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (sexyDancer), Sunday, 12 November 2006 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

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