Morbius' apartment search

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It appears the Slope gentrification axe has finally come for me after ten years (unless any of you know a tenant lawyer who will work for close-to-free). Since no one on this board seems to have a(n) (ir)rational hatred of me:

I'd like a 30-45-min commute to my job in Chelsea, a non-scary preferably Brooklyn nabe (Sunset Pk, Windsor Terr, Kensington, Greenpoint, LIC come to mind first), pay less than ...$850?... and of course no roommates. For Dec 1 at the latest, it looks like. I really don't want to cast the net as far as Jackson Heights or Inwood.

Thank you for lis'nin. Back to Craigslist.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

"and of course no roommates."

― Jonothong Williamsmang (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

what does that mean, jon?

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

http://www.assessmentcompany.com/images/People%20Problems.gif

― Paranoid Spice (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

Living with roommates [you don't already know] after age 30 or so, especially when the last one had a perpetual case of crabs, is the Definition of Lame, as I hope you never discover.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

And if you already know them, we can push it to 32.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

exactly what i was gonna post, morbs

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

OH, I didn't realize you were OLD.

― Paranoid Spice (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Old, grown up, sump'n like that...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

I've lived alone for the last two years, by happenstance, and now I can't really imagine moving in with roommates again.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

"I'm Living Alone and I Like It" - Sophie Tucker

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

i've lived alone for about 6 years and yeah i can't see goin' back

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

She broke down and let me in
Made me see where I’ve been

Been down one time
Been down two times
I’m never going back again

You don’t know what it means to win
Come down and see me again

Been down one time
Been down two times
I’m never going back again

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

same situation here, but Jon is totally right. You will not find an apartment for 850. Maybe a really crappy studio. But spread that net a little further in south brooklyn...midwood, ditmas park, flatbush etc. Still gonna be tough to impossible. Most studios seem to start at 900 or more, 1 bedrooms are 1,000 and up, decent sized 1 bedrooms are more like 1200 and up. Basically if an apartment is a decent sized 1 bedroom that would rent for 1,000, they somehow make it a small 2 bedroom and rent it for 1600.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

U CAN HAVE MY 1 BEDROOM...900. ITS IN THE BEIRUT SECTION OF BROOKLYN.

I WANT A ROOM MATE...I HAVE A 2 BEDROOM LINED UP OFF GRAHAM....1600.

― ddb (ddb), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

I don't need much more than a really crappy studio. Or a miracle.
Midwood and Ditmas Park are not out of the question.

If I pay $900 I will have to either scrap cable or visit myopenbar.com daily.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

Selzer is completely OTM, spend the $800 on a sweet, sweet cardboard box and you'll be better off than what you might be able to get for $900.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

How much is ok to rent a couch for? What if doing housekeeping is part of the deal?

― Paranoid Spice (ex machina), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

I give away couch space for free. This has been a mistake, generally.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm usually home only to sleep and watch baseball on TV. Also, there are said to be 'steals' available, and if you don't think so, I don't want to hear it just yet.

Decade by decade, I can see myself moving further into Brooklyn til I die on the Boardwalk.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

Jerzey Shitty, dude. For about a grand, you CAN live by yourself and the commute (especially if you work downtown) is about the same as Brooklyn.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

When I lived on the Upper West Side I paid $650 per month for my 1 bdrm apartment. This is...unusual.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:26 (twenty years ago)

Ally, I saw your old apartment building last month! We parked in the garage right next to it underneath Lincoln Center!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh dude did you pass by my old workplace?? Ugh.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

I am not going to pay PATH and the MTA, and I do all my recreating on the right side of the Hudson. Or I will die.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

YES WE DID; I told my wife that if she really wanted me to, I could get an IT job there and develop a huge coke habit in the name of supporting her opera career. She didn't think that was very funny.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

YOU SHOULD'VE BRICKED THEIR WINDOWS

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

I've got it! Move to Berlin!

― Gee, You Knit? (mookie wilson), Thursday, 20 October 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

http://www.forcedexposure.com/artists/modeselektor.html

― High Tea in the Chinese Quarter (nordicskilla), Thursday, 20 October 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Back to meeeeee... my neighbor-tenant is trying to convince me to stay in my current place and get 'bought out' (just her hunch obv). Meanwhile, my building's rent-stabilized status is still undecided by the appropriate city agency, so I'd have to gamble whether I could eventually be found responsible for 'market rent' in my current place if we lose all legal challenges. And no, I can't afford to pay a lwayer, and ain't poor enough for Legal Aid.

DAMNED

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 20 October 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

ddb, you need a roommate?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 20 October 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

"It appears the Slope gentrification axe has finally come for me"

Glad I could help to get your ass thrown out. Good riddance, William.

― fuckyassy (O_o), Friday, 21 October 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

Admin ban time!

― jw (ex machina), Friday, 21 October 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

yikes!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 21 October 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

Who's that bitch, and how did I know this thread would be a mistake?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 21 October 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

dunno! I banned them

― jw (ex machina), Friday, 21 October 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

There isn't an Ask Dr. Morbius thread.

Dr. M: Why do you like Broken Social Scene so much? What other "indie" "bands" do you like?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 January 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

Bwa-ha! I think I bought somewhere between 12-15 new albums in '05, an all-time low. Generally speaking, I Hate Music. The DJ at the BSS show played "In Between Days," and I mused "wow, this is 21 years old -- AND SO IS EVERYONE WITHIN 30 FEET OF ME!"

My apartment search has been suspended, as it appears I'm not in imminent danger of eviction. Yet.

Please don't "ask me."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 January 2006 18:39 (twenty years ago)

you should hang out at m1sshapes. everyone is horny gay 16 year old.

i need to find an apartment too, but i might have found a sweet deal in the financial district, which kinda sucks, but its very cheap and a really nice place and short term, and free furniture. and there's a popeyes only a few blocks away

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 30 January 2006 18:43 (twenty years ago)

Dr. Morbius,

Is this PECOTA data available in a downloadable database (or spreadsheet)? How much does it cost?

Shasta

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Monday, 30 January 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

phil, I will not be bringing lollipops to m1sshapes!

Steve, the PECOTAs ain't done yet, and they cost a subscription to BP, you cheap bastid.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 January 2006 18:52 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Dr. M,

When did you decide to become a racist?

Steve

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:44 (twenty years ago)

After Crash fans told me I was one.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

Morbius,

I don't think you're a racist. I think you can be v. v. condescending and don't really think about what you're saying before you say it, which has resulted in a coupla foot-in-mouth-disease scenarios of late. Get one (1) over it and stop melodramaing cos no one actually called you a racist! Did u not get the ironic "sigh" on the Jon Stewart thread?

xo
Allyz

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

We've been here before. By the same standards everyone who's intense about music on ILM is "v. v. condescending" about music.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 21:56 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

craigslist line of the day: "We are all investment bankers who
are never home."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 May 2006 12:54 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

You knew you'd see this headline one day:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/abo/174851573.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 26 June 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

If my finances were slightly better, I'd be tempted -- it's not that far from where I live NOW.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

Do you consider yourself part of the trendiness?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 12:44 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know, really -- I guess I probably am, but I feel remarkably untrendy. All the kids I (now) see strolling around are, like, shaggier and indier and more sunglasses-ed than I.

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 27 June 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 80 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i would pay morbs' rent with you just to read the stories

― sanskrit, Wednesday, 10 October 2007 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

wait, you're eric h. i somehow read that as tombot

― sanskrit, Wednesday, 10 October 2007 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

They are very different guys -- Tombot answers emails promptly.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 15 October 2007 18:10 (eighteen years ago)

My all time record that didn't involve simply not answering is probably about three months. I think I've had living arrangements that have lasted longer.

― Eric H., Monday, 15 October 2007 18:25 (eighteen years ago)

six months pass...

cancelled this morning's apartment appointment when I saw yesterday wot a shitty block it was on (St Marks next to Franklin Ave shuttle)

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 12 May 2008 13:24 (eighteen years ago)

ive only heard about rooms in places, sorry doc

but i do know of 2 open rooms in green point. both reasonable (like 700)but in shares

― bb, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:20 (eighteen years ago)

HEEEEEY, Morbs. I can't picture it exactly but I don't think I'd call anything around there "shitty". Fuck, I wish I could afford to move back. How much is the apt again?

― Laurel, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:30 (eighteen years ago)

Franklin shuttle area aint that bad

― sanskrit, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:33 (eighteen years ago)

a thousand. It's opposite some kind of therapy center, lotsa barbed wire -- no thx. Maybe if I was 26.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:34 (eighteen years ago)

whoa google maps street view is kind of racist

― sanskrit, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:36 (eighteen years ago)

how so?

I'm seeing rent-stabilized studio on Ocean Pkwy (nr Ditmas) tnite. I have feeling I'm going to be offered it if I like it -- of course, apt that's $225 a month LESS in Midwood is taking forever to get their paperwork together. So if I say no, I'll be taking Door #2, Monty.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:37 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, actually, that might be across from the methadone clinic, and if so that might actually be the worst place in that part of Crown Heights to be. I take it all back.

skrit, googlemaps streetview loves them some mac-user demographic, huh? Turns out there's like nothing photo'ed east of Flatbush.

― Laurel, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:42 (eighteen years ago)

lol shocking

― tehresa, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:51 (eighteen years ago)

lol
greenpoint and teh burg aren't on it either fwiw

― sleep, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:52 (eighteen years ago)

might be across from the methadone clinic

bingo!

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 12 May 2008 16:57 (eighteen years ago)

i live across from a men's shelter and it's totally fine.

― tehresa, Monday, 12 May 2008 17:05 (eighteen years ago)

well, we are different peepul.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 12 May 2008 17:07 (eighteen years ago)

skrit, googlemaps streetview loves them some mac-user demographic, huh? Turns out there's like nothing photo'ed east of Flatbush.

-- Laurel, Monday, May 12, 2008 12:42 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"mac-user demographic"

i'm going to have to remember this euphemism

― sanskrit, Monday, 12 May 2008 17:22 (eighteen years ago)

Feel free, I stole it from Nabisco.

― Laurel, Tuesday, 13 May 2008 15:42 (eighteen years ago)

It looks like I am signing tomorrow for the 4th-floor apt in doorman bldg near the d1tm4s F stop. If I want to get out after a month, I'll just invite the noise board over to use the pool on the roof.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 15:33 (eighteen years ago)

roof pool is pretty sweet!

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 17:23 (eighteen years ago)

i'm on the stop before that one (tho not for much longer)

― impudent harlot, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

by b4, you mean further out? cuz I'm at Church now.

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 14 May 2008 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

hey, my landlady is threatening to keep my $900 deposit since I gave her 25 days' notice of moving instead of the prescribed 30! FUN.

I can't find my copy of the 'lease', but I don't doubt the 30 days are in there. I'm saved only in she gets a renter for 7/1.

Options short of murder?

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 6 June 2008 13:46 (eighteen years ago)

isn't your landlady also forcing you to move out? omg what a bitchy move.

― bell_labs, Friday, 6 June 2008 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

oh hey, i'm not banned from noise board anymore. weird!

― bell_labs, Friday, 6 June 2008 13:50 (eighteen years ago)

I wanted to leave last year -- before I was attempted to slice and boil her fucking hyperactive kids -- but couldn't find anything.

I could've given her notice 3 weeks ago but saw no reason to. OOPS

It's Brooklyn, 2 stops from Pk Slope, she'll be able to find a fucking tenant. (esp with that smiling "You won't hear A THING down here" bullshit she used on me)

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

attempted = tempted

(The upstairs tenant also wants the kid to vanish)

btw, landlady has huge weightlifter husband.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:01 (eighteen years ago)

DrMorbius: I know of a little boy's brothel in western Russia that's looking for a new disciplinarian-- they could really use someone with your jaguarian prowess. pays well. perhaps you will consider this path???

― usic, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

oh, it also looks like I'll have to move the morning after getting back from 5-day vacation. FUN NEVER STOPS

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

also: troll, just give your dad the job

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

gross!!!!!!!!!! i never thought of it like that!!!!!!!!!!!! self-troll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_;

― usic, Friday, 6 June 2008 14:40 (eighteen years ago)

DrMorbius U RUINED MY LIFE </3

― usic, Friday, 6 June 2008 17:52 (eighteen years ago)

anyone recommend a NYC man with a van? The guys I used two years ago have TRIPLED THEIR PRICE! (gas-o-line)

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 19 June 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

ugh that SUCKS about the deposit.

― s1ocki, Thursday, 19 June 2008 17:14 (seventeen years ago)

well, she might have a renter (and keep dep anyway by claiming the place ain't clean enough)

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 19 June 2008 17:44 (seventeen years ago)

morbs i used a good dude... lemme see if i can dig out the emails.

― tehresa, Thursday, 19 June 2008 17:50 (seventeen years ago)

i was hoping this thread was about a forthcoming "point and click" interactive cd-rom adventure featuring Morbius' apartment

― latebloomer, Thursday, 19 June 2008 17:51 (seventeen years ago)

haha!

― s1ocki, Thursday, 19 June 2008 18:11 (seventeen years ago)

that'll be next to get me out of moving debt.

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 19 June 2008 18:57 (seventeen years ago)

morbius the big red dog

― and what, Thursday, 19 June 2008 21:37 (seventeen years ago)

I have moved. It went OK... but my phone jack has PAINT in it and won't work. What fucking dummy did that? You kidz and your disdain for land lines!

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 23:34 (seventeen years ago)

The friend staying in my apartment over the weekend looked at my land line and said, "Hey, my parents have one of those."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 23:36 (seventeen years ago)

did you slap him/her?

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 1 July 2008 23:51 (seventeen years ago)

seven years pass...

it's gotten so easy for me to spot the phishing ads on C'list

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 19 May 2016 15:09 (ten years ago)

eleven months pass...

on the verge of thinkin' bout Sheepshead Bay

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 3 May 2017 15:18 (nine years ago)

two weeks pass...

some C'list Queens apt ads are weird

"Apartment wanted for quiet serious couple just 2 people hardly home"

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 May 2017 15:56 (nine years ago)

maybe you + somebody else who never sets foot in the house would qualify

― sexualing healing (crüt), Friday, 19 May 2017 15:58 (nine years ago)

volunteers?

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 May 2017 20:26 (nine years ago)

three years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/ecJG2PN.jpg

― the burrito that defined a generation, Thursday, 22 October 2020 01:48 (five years ago)

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