all-time hall of fame

but... we do

WHAAT UP MY NIGEL !

EFIL4LEGIN

That sounds like a kind of pasta.

thuggish ruggish pasta

From when I was much young person, I have had this fancy: I am finding myself on my base in mine pigiami with an arm around to my bear of the teddy (are much young person in these... possibly 2 uniforms of dream or 3) and then the bear of the teddy comes to life and begins nuzzling up and down my body... and then I obtain much hard one from this fantasy... I will not enter in more particular because it would be much inadequate one! But that what has been able this dream to mean?
-- rodman, Sunday, 1 October 2006 17:35 (1 year ago) Link

ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN

He took down that elephant thing HARDCORE. DAMMMNNN.

-- DiMarceau Fishpower, Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:23 PM (Wednesday, January 21, 2004 10:23 PM) Bookmark Link

Hahaha, so true.

Yeah, you told me and that evening I vowed never to accompany kev through customs. They are kiwi sized but don't appear out of proportion next to his large cock. Far from being circus-freak like, he is jaw-droppingly awesome. What a guy. I can't wait to get home and climb aboard his grocery groin.

-- Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:09 AM (Wednesday, March 3, 2004 10:09 AM) Bookmark Link

Apropiate words: ground, grow, gross, growth, groove, groom, group, growing, grown, grove, grocery, groin, groan, grocer, growl, fro, pro, grown-up, grout, ...

P.S. I am really sick of people who are all like "black people call each other nigger all the time" -- this is a severely fucked-up perception based on people getting their information on What Black People Do All the Time pretty much solely from hip-hop videos and The Wire and shit, and I seriously wonder if people who say that honestly believe that the middle-aged woman in the next cubicle at work seriously goes home to her kids and says "what's up, my niggas, we're having Applebee's tonight!"

-- nabisco (nabisco), Monday, November 20, 2006 11:09 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

so. fucking. clueless.

I like to smear creamy oreo filling all over my body then my midget boyfriend does the ritualistic milk jug dance around my cream covered body. Sometimes we invite the neighbors to watch or even join in! Wanna come over tonight? You wanna talk cookie sluts??? Let's talk

-- queen laqueefa, Sunday, January 26, 2003 2:46 PM (Sunday, January 26, 2003 2:46 PM) Bookmark Link

arsas far as tits go, bigger is better. my gf has two round robust milky white 38Ds, with dark brown nipples that spread 3 in across her beautiful tit flesh. i've been with lesser woman and have not had similar pleasure, especially the ones that are all nipple. my cock too is a thing to behold. my gf measured it at 8.5 in of dark brown veiny mexican cock. uncut, of course. it took her about 2 yrs to be able to swallow it all. but she perfected the art of deep throating my shlong. i've seen other guys at the urinals and they see me. i'm blessed with a flaccid cock measuring almost 7 inches. most guys have little peepees peeking out of their flies. i have a snake. thank u very much!

-- stephen garza, Friday, January 10, 2003 9:50 PM (5 years ago)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ truth

uncut, of course.

that needed to be here for sure

EVIL GUIDE DOG

strictly speaking not a quote but still all-time hall of fame material

I have a fantasy of getting all the retarded characters played by various high profile actors (Lenny DiCaprio from "What's Eating Gibert Grape", Sean Penn from "I am Sam", Giovanni Rbisi and Juliet Lewis from "The Other Sister", etc.) all getting together to form a detective agency, or a maybe a law firm, for a major network television show. Man, that would be the best show ever.

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, April 22, 2005 5:21 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

Again, not a quote but totally deserving of hall of fame.

i wrote ire a poem that describles how i feel thankig u for your graciousness and love of poetry

-- jergïns, Monday, July 30, 2007 5:54 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Link

I take you out to the finest resturant
Buy you any damn thing that you want
You want flowers, I'll buy your ass a rose
But later on your coming out them pantie hose
You want gold, girl whats next
It's me and you, doing the sex

-- jergïns, Monday, July 30, 2007 5:54 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Link

wait so am i to believe now that in addition to writing that poem jergs also coined 'thankig u' & 'crutis'??

i am going to have no choice but to start respecting this mfer

i can't decide if that is, or isn't, a good start.

LOST CLASSIC (re: Enigma, "Sadeness Pt. 1")

---

oh god! the sexual connection to this album seems disturbingly pervasive/universal. i had already heard it a couple of times in america but it seemed so cheesy i didn't really pay attention. the first time i really noticed it was my sophomore year in college-I was in Germany over the summer supposedly to study the language/culture at the Goerthe Institute. But I had come down with a massive head cold/infection the moment i landed and since I couldn't get drugs all i wanted to do smoke all day and get/stay drunk. Unfortunately nearly everyone was a pollyanna type and just wanted to go to class and then talk in German afterwards. grrr! (plus a couple of guys from Tunisia who wanted to spread islam and rape people??). I finally found Tatiana and (i can't remember the other girls name) - two really pretty Italian slacker students there to espace their families pretty much and "be on their own AS WOMEN" - whick i assumed meant party. Tatiana was all feminine and contemplative and breathy like all the time. It was like hangin out with Sophia Loren. And she was incredibly tall. I was like the snot-nosed dwarf who held her purse. One night I went to pick up Tatiana from her room so we could go out, just to find her lying there languidly on the bed - with that chanting and "Sah Dit Moi" going on in the background. I was like come ON TAtiana aren't you ready? "ohh Susanna i feel so sad all day and have masterbate mabye 10 time. i don't want do anthing only masturbate. do you understand?" then long breathy sigh -- anyway, it was actually mildly disturbing but moreover i had nothing to say to that so we just sat there listening to the feverish chanting and "sah dit moi" for like an eternity. and that song seems way less cheesy to me now!

-- Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Saturday, July 9, 2005 4:10 PM (2 years ago)

Tatiana and Stephen Garza would have had a real good time together. In fact I bet they did.

(plus a couple of guys from Tunisia who wanted to spread islam and rape people??)

"ohh Susanna i feel so sad all day and have masterbate mabye 10 time. i don't want do anthing only masturbate. do you understand?"

Haha I just read that Enigma one and came to see if it had been posted here yet!

poem is by too short . i can't take credit as much as i'd like

and to be clear im not pro-execution in any circumstance but as priorities go for the next prez im putting it like this:

1. health care, economy, war
....
748. keeping child rapists from the chair

-- deej, Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:42 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

to be honest i prioritize my government not capturing & killing me before i start thinking about how to get state healthcare

-- and what, Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:46 PM (Thursday, June 26, 2008 2:46 PM) Bookmark Link

Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me, and always have. The indie world's concept of sexy is very closely related to its concept of "rock": limp, non-threatening, far more interested in talking than fucking.

-- unperson, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 00:51 (5 months ago) Link

hahahahahahaha I never saw that original post

ha! i was wondering how long it would take for ian to get here...

And it's taken even longer for me to get back.

I was crushing on old-school Hillary Clinton (in her Twenties) -- probably because she resembles my supremely attractive friend Erin (who, despite liking me, is with someone else right now and so she's horribly unattainable). Goodness gracious, I'm an absolute sucker for blondes these days. But after dropping by a bookstore yesterday where my long-time friend Molly (who is not a blonde, mind you) works -- oh goodness, she's always stunning but yesterday I really wanted to pounce on her because she looked so exceptionally scrumptious (without even trying!) and was just so bubbly and charming. I wanted to playfully tackle her behind the counter and from there on it would've been wonderfully inappropriate! Anyhow, she's invited me along to dinner and some other event with a group of her friends on Friday -- it's not a date essentially, but at heart I wouldn't mind if it twisted into one. Ooh, I just remembered that she complimented my appearance! No-one ever does that! Squee! Cuddlestein Mountain! Nuvvieworld! Okay, I'm just getting ridiculous -- I'm just excited because it's a prospect to escape social poverty with a possible hint of romance. I'm probably being too optimistic; I can't help it! I've wanted something to look forward to!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, August 16, 2005 2:41 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Your user name is most appropriate here.

i am now at the point of spamming the board with this, but i am very proud of it, so whatever.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090325000842136

Ian Riese-Moraine was too good to be true.

cracked me up the 2nd time I saw that movie as well

1 minute straight laughing

oh wow this thread is a font of brilliance (most of which i've seen before, but collected in one place it's all magnified)

Not a quote and I don't know the original post with it but still:

http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/4287/iwouldhavesexwithallthi.jpg

also, RIP Mona Lisa Ludatits

Yeah you pathetic FUCK i *am* a hippie and YOU are a moron, and I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel, make a dinner that makes your mouth water, and jump hoops around all the lame supermodels you jack off to.
― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, August 15, 2003 2:34 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

RIP Michael S. Jackson

RIP Queen of *Plop*

"nabisco otm"

Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.

And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.

Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.

I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.

Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 2:38 PM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am the proprietor of the King Arthur Bookshop in Cornwall, England. A customer of mine has requested a copy of Sexual Personae - Art & Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinson and as yet I have not located a Supplier.

Please recommend a UK Supplier I may contact to obtain a copy.

Regards,

Mike Karnon

― Mike Karnon, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:25 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

HI I AM THE AMAZING RANDY

― AMAZING RANDY, Tuesday, October 7, 2003 5:30 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me,

I keep wondering if Ph1l's wife has spina biffita.

do girls always do fanny farts?

i was wondring,because my girlfreind always does fanny farts in sex,is this a naturak thing?

― topman, 23. elokuuta 2005 18:26 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

- - -

It's the sound of your unborn children being sucked into an other dimension.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), 23. elokuuta 2005 18:43 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fyi if u dont stop using the phrase "er indoors" i will fly to ur indoors and kill er, and u

― 8====D ------ ㋡ (max), Friday, January 16, 2009 8:02 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Dan and I found this thread very useful today.

Mesa just played Chrono Trigger for over an hwesa. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesan Japanese. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Not that Mesa could wesaad alot ta it(one character speaks in an insanely thick and formal SAMURAI dialet, der woyal family speaks high keigo which Mesa oddly understood. Huh? not sure wha that mesaans. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Alot ta Kanji, toosa), wha Mesa did wesaad is alot funnier, and Mesa wouldn't have to wesaad it anyway. Huh? Mesa could play it in wussian, swedish, arabic. Way? Esqueeze mesa. DOESN'T MATTER. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa can play it with mesa feet without lookin' directly at der creen. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa'VE DONE MesaT BEFORE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesan fact Mesa set der battle modes to harder ones just for more ta a challenge. Oh. Flbulbulbu. THE ATTACK NAMES ARE DIFFERENT AND MesaT DOESN'T MATTER. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa haven't played it in years and Mesa can just go 'Oh, now Mesa need to do that, so Mesa'll press dis sequence ta buttons and kill' SPINAL FUNCTION. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesaf Mesa did a blood transfuction Mesa'm sure der wesacievin' human(in addition to gettin' high from all der mesads) would BE ABLE TO PLAY CHRONO TRIGGER. Oh, NOOOOO! That's not bery long, either. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa used to do 4-5 hwesa stretches. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa don't wesamember how long it took to beat lavos when Mesa'm SUPPOSED to lose. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa've seen all 11 main endings and variations ta most ta derm. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Mesa used to level up by playin' der game through. Oh, NOOOOO! Fight der same series ta wimps in der forect for an hwesa or two? Mesa DON'T THINK SO. Oh, NOOOOO! Mesa think Mesa'll BEAT THE GAME 3 times. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Der same way EVERY TIME. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Fastest way to winnin'. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dern Mesa'd work at accumulatin' more items and becomin' so strong NOTHING could stop mesa. Huh? But only after completin' EVERY POSSIBLE SIDE STORY. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dis was accomplished in part by a trick mesa brother (ex-in-law) found. Oh, NOOOOO! He spend 6 hours fightin' der same battle over and over. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Steal der same item from der same monsters. Huh? Mesa was FLOORED when Mesa heard that. Way? Esqueeze mesa. He had a save on der system with MAXED OUT magic power on EVERY character. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! Dern Mesa wesant on to bit by bit max every character as much as possibul Way? Esqueeze mesa. Dern Mesa lent it to mesa dern girlfriend, and somehow that save was erased. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! tis wuite possibulder fact that Mesa had a Game Gear save on it that was so fucked it screwed der system, but she may (VERY DOUBTFUL) have deleted it on purpose, but Mesa think she was ashamed ta ACCIDENTALLY deletin' it and lied. Oh. Flbulbulbu. But Mesa don't wesamember if yousa CAN just delete a save in CT. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Dis game was mesa sole entertainment source save wandom TV things for 2-3 years. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! THAT'S MesaNSANE. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Mesa had an old-school Geocities site(long gone, Mesa loved it) dedicated to subtexts and wesatardo descriptions ta characters. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Mesa sprayed mesa hair der color ta mesa fav character, Mesa bought a wesaplica sword like der one he carried, GREW MY HAIR TO THE SAME LENGTH. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Used his name on EVERY mesassage board, wait, dery wesare all CHAT WOOMS dern. Oh, NOOOOO! Wesamember CHAT WOOMS? Derre was a CT chatroom Mesa had wesagular DAILY mesaetings in. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Mesa SOMEHOW developed a crush on der wesabmaster until Mesa saw she was wesaally palsied and horse-like. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Still cool. Way? Esqueeze mesa. Not attractive. Ooh! Mesacky icky goosa! WOW. Oh. Flbulbulbu. Dis is der most mesaaningless crap Mesa've ever written, but tis a bit ta an insight onto how far into things Mesa get. Mesasa Jar-Jar Binks! Any CT fans? Anyone else have a similar past with a different game?

that site will ruin me

I love you guys, but seriously, that Jar Jar generator makes hampsterdance look like keyboard cat.

Oh, NOOOOO! Flbulbulbu.

man I love this thread

noooooooooooo my extranormal link is dead

nooooooooooooooo

my greatest lifes work ruined

"I could write a contract that would make your dick shrivel" is in the running as one of the strangest things ever said on this message board

^ As posted by Orbit (cstarrcstar...) , August 15th, 2003

co-worker: Vanilla Ice in the conference room.
ILXor: Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!
co-worker: o_O

<ILXor goes to conference room, sees it's Vanilla Ice not vanilla ice cream>

ILXor: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Tuesday, October 2, 2012 11:47 AM bookmarkflaglink

Reviving solely because of the dick-shriveling contract