Top 100 Neglected / Misused Comic Characters

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1) THE SPACE PHANTOM (I can't say anything in his defense, except that he looks like a great Ditko character - except I think Kirby created him - and whenever he mimicked someone, they were transported to LIMBO!)

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 11 February 2005 20:45 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

2) TEH SPACE GHOST!

http://www.dccomics.com/media/covers/2563_180x270.jpg

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 11 February 2005 22:03 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

3) Deadman, see Nightwing #103 for completely waste of ectoplasm. He's actuallly a Marvel-type stuck in the DCU. His power is that he's dead, and that's a curse, not so much because he's dead and kept away from his loved ones, but (if I was writing him) because he was a circus performer, and now he gets no credit for his perfomances. When he's possessing someone, they get the applause, and when he's not, no one knows he's there, except sometimes dogs and children. Or something. He's a reverse Greta Garbo.

Huk-L, Sunday, 13 February 2005 05:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

4. Skids! Poor girl, given an awful codename and a drippy boyfriend who was then killed.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:40 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

5. I always liked Nightshade out of Suicide Squad - spy shenanigans and spooky powers a go go!

Mark C (Markco), Monday, 14 February 2005 17:05 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I haven't seen any of the stuff done since the original 70s series, but:

6. Deathlok

Loads of (wasted) potential in the Buckler original. I know there was a bit of a revival in the last few years; was it any good?

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Monday, 14 February 2005 17:57 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

7. Commissioner Gordon: Roomful of Strangers was one of my favourite Batman comics ever. I miss the guy.

8. Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern: There's a great prestige-format one-off with art by John K. Snyder III, where it's all just murky wtfery in the swamp with GL and Solomon Grundy in the forties. I would love to see more of that kind of thing.

9. Martian Manhunter, see above, but replace some of it with DC: The New Frontier.

Huk-L, Monday, 14 February 2005 18:02 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

10. Any of the characters from Top 10. I would have loved to have seen more of them. I haven't read Smax, but he seemed like the least interesting one to do a spin-off about.

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:09 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

6. Deathlok - Loads of (wasted) potential in the Buckler original. I know there was a bit of a revival in the last few years; was it any good?

There was a Joe Casey-written series a while back (late 90s?) launched as part of some MarvelTech line, but I have no idea how that was. There was also supposed to be a Max (that is, Marvel books w/ cussing, ultra-violence & naked folk) mini-series by Daniel Way & Darick Robertson that's been shelved indefinitely. (Folks w/ a memory for this sort of thing might remember Way as the guy responsible for an also-indefinitely-shelved Max Ant-Man mini that, according to the solicit information, made AM out to be some panty-peeking perv.)

Jordan, Smax is great! (I think I'm in the minority on this one, though.) It helps that it's actually a Smax & Toybox mini.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

ditto to smax being great and martian manhunter who i thought came off as a really really interesting character in dc: new frontier but apparently hasn't really been used well or at all elsewhere

j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I picked up a few issues of John Ostrander's late 90s/ early 00s MM series, and while it was sort of cool (and Tom Mandrake and early-ish Doug Mahnke art, GO!), it just presented MM as this overly stoic all-purpose superhero with too much time on his hands.

Huk-L, Monday, 14 February 2005 18:22 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Yeah - aside from TNF, the only place I can remember Martian Manhunter working as a character was in the Giffen / DeMatteis JL, where they balanced the stoic tragic Martian exile jazz w/ his love of Hydrox. Everywhere else I recall seeing him, he's either a flame-fearing stiff or just skimmed over.

[xpost] - There's also a 4-issue MM mini that's supposedly a murder mystery (by Gerard Jones & Eduardo Barretto). Didn't look too interesting, though.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:25 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

American Secrets...I remember seeing the ads for it, back in the day. Something about beatniks...

Huk-L, Monday, 14 February 2005 18:38 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I seem to remember some good MM moments in Morrison's JLA, but all I can think of is his guest appearance in Animal Man where he comes off all stoic but then turns into a big slobbering alien beast to scare the 12 yr old bully.

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:44 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

ha ha! i have an autographed copy of that issue!

Huk-L, Monday, 14 February 2005 18:48 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Good call, Jordan! I can't recall any other MM moments w/ GM (during JLA), but that one was choice.

Re: Deadman - Huk-L, there was a 3-issue Prestige Format dealie by Mike Baron & Kelley Jones that I think dealt w/ Deadman & circus freaks & like-minded stuff. (FWIW, Kelley Jones' art = cross between Bernie Wrightson & Hellboy'd Mike Mignola. Some folks love his work, some folks have violent reactions.) (BTW, that's a neat pitch!) (I'm all about congratulating & brownnosing ILC today.)

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:52 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Was that Life After Death or something? Or Dead and Loving It?
I haven't read either of them (if Life After Death even exists???), but I remember during the waning days of my first comic buying life, something like that. Out of my price range (probably $3/issue or something!) then, as most of the stuff that likely would have kept me reading was.

The more I think about it, the more I really like Deadman. Boston Brand's got real personality...there's one comic (I can't remember if this is something old--I had a bunch of quarter bin Adventure Comics starring Deadman--something nearly old--I also followed him in Action Comics Weekly--or nearly recent, like the Deadman: Dead Again mini which is okay) where he's in some dude's body, eating pizza on the beach as the sun comes up or something. And the Rama Kugi or whatever (or maybe even the Spectre???) chastises him for stealing precious moments from his host's life. But like, to Boston, the whole still-living world's just a bunch of rubes just waiting to be taken for a ride.
And further to my comment that he belongs more in the Marvel U than the DCU, he's also a big smart-ass, in addition to the angst of being dead. So he's a lot like Peter Parker. Imposed upon, and kinda cranky.
Damn.

Huk-L, Monday, 14 February 2005 19:51 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

11) The New Universe peeps (aside from Merc & Kickers, Inc. & Nightmask) (and I bet even they could be "redeemed" by the right person)

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:45 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Did you ever get geeked because someone posted a new response (possibly in response to your last post!), and then you click on the thread & realize the new response you're geeked about was your own from a minute ago? Yeah.

David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

haha ALL THE TIME

j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

12. Karma from New Mutants - it seemed as though Moonstone was always the favourite psychic NM, just because she had a magic flying pony and was a valkyrie etc etc. What a stuck up bitch.

Mark C (Markco), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 18:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

13. Speedy. When he turned up in Suicide Squad he looked about thirty and wandered around in combat trousers, red t-shirt and domino mask being a military-advisor version of Green Arrow. When I was small i thought this was ace. I'm still a bit disappointed by the fact that he's essentially been characterised as "He has an addictive YES ADDICTIVE personality, for I NIGHTWING could NEVER be A JUNKIE and neither could Aqualad."

At the very least you get some one-liner like "I can see how Hal might have become ADDICTED to his power, I can see it BECAUSE I USED TO BE A JUNKIE." or "I know a little something about PROBLEMS myself on acount of I USED TO BE A JUNKIE." or "I hate pusher filth like you scum BECAUSE I USED TO BE A JUNKIE." or "I understand the concerns of the liberals, I was once a liberal myself in that I USED TO BE A JUNKIE." or "Pass the salt Speedy YOU JUNKIE."

Plus he's named Arsenal now, which doesn't work in this country for several reasons.

Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 18:44 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Isn't his soul-patch reminder enough of his sordid past?

Huk-L, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 18:51 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Soul-WHAT? I'm not familiar with this. Did he go through a patch where he listened to soul or is this something more sinister?

Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:10 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

That little tuft of hair between his bottom lip and chin.

Huk-L, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:11 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

"I know a little something about unseemly facial hair BECAUSE I USED TO BE A JUNKIE!"

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:13 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

>>Plus he's named Arsenal now, which doesn't work in this country for several reasons.

How I laughed in Birds of Prey when someone pointed out that the Huntress had slept with Arsenal

Mark C (Markco), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:26 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Well, she is being portrayed as permiscuous.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:27 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I thought she was Catholic though...er, never mind!

Huk-L, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 19:37 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

"I know what the ladies want BECAUSE I USED TO BE A JUNKIE."

I didn't know what that horrible beard thing was called, but now I do. I think every hero has flirted with unreasonable hair at some point - even Batman hid some ungodly sideburns under his mask.

Perhaps a new thread outing the hair horror of our hyper-heroes is needed...

Vic Fluro, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:06 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The floor is yours, Vic. To be swept, that is.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:08 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

it seemed as though Moonstone was always the favourite psychic NM, just because she had a magic flying pony and was a valkyrie etc etc.

Moonstone was the Thunderbolt. Dani "Mirage" Moonstar was the valkyrie.

And yes, Karma kicked ass. Didn't Frank Miller draw her first appearance?

The Yellow Kid, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 05:31 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

The correct answer to this thread is MAGGOTT.

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Realm/6198/X-Men/Maggott1.jpg

Impossibly ridiculous X-Men character whose mutant power is a detachable digestive system in the form of two robot slugs. He also has blue skin for no reason. Well, when the colorists remembered to make it blue, and not grey, or black. And he has a strangely wandering accent which is meant, I think, to be white South African.

Maggott has now seemingly become a byword in the x-fan community for shit characters. (I think the writers killed him off at some point). So much for 'tolerance', eh? I like him because i) his power is completely absurd; ii) I think the X-Men were built on the redemption of rubbish characters and you get the feeling the writers created Maggott for a bet along these lines.

Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 08:20 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

was Maggot a goody or a baddy?

Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 10:15 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

He was a goodie! He was also awesome.

Cecilia Reyes from the same time period also suffered but not nearly as badly because her initial premise ("let's combine Dazzler's attitude with Skids' power and Beast's vocation and make her Puerto Rican") wasn't nearly as absurd.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:12 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

OMG, anyone can be an X-Man these day

"Back off Magneto, or I'll bite you with my remote control mecha-colon!"

Mark C (Markco), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:20 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

I think it was in a back-up story in Detective Comics, or maybe Gotham Knights, it's collected in the War Drums trade, but Batman sends Green Arrow to find Onyx at a monastery, and GA has these kick-ass sideburns, like Mike Grell used to give him back in the day (in Green Lantern/Green Arrow).

Huk-L, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:45 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

IIRC, his skin turned blue when using the SUPER-STRENGTH imbued in him by his mobile digestive system (IOW they came up with a ridiculous handwave to explain a coloring mistake).

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 16:42 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

eleven years pass...

https://afburns.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/mento-fish.png

can't believe that the wondrous mento-fish never appeared again after its debut in Fantastic Four #14

soref, Wednesday, 4 January 2017 21:30 (one year ago) Permalink

one of the saddest of all info boxes of marvel.wikia.com imo

http://i.imgur.com/y91WJsr.png?1

soref, Wednesday, 4 January 2017 21:31 (one year ago) Permalink

I've been thinking some more about the mento-fish, and decided that my favourite thing is the aside in the second panel that it's "the only fish of its type in the world", I love the way that even though it's just a device to enable Namor to contact Sue, even though it only appears for three panels and then is never mentioned again, they really go all out to sell you on how amazing and awe-inspiring this thing is. this is one reason why 60s Marvel comic books are better then contemporary Marvel comic books imo, nowadays Namor would probably just phone her. would totally buy a plush mento-fish from etsy.

soref, Thursday, 5 January 2017 13:30 (one year ago) Permalink

It is pretty cool.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 05:09 (one year ago) Permalink

His power is that he's dead, and that's a curse, not so much because he's dead and kept away from his loved ones, but (if I was writing him) because he was a circus performer, and now he gets no credit for his perfomances.

fucking dying at this rn

although "Citizenship: Fish" is something else altogether

mega pegasus for reindeer (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 January 2017 05:41 (one year ago) Permalink

I think Mento-Fish is one of those characters/concepts that would change everything so they basically get ignored. I heard there is something Reed Richards invents in Kirby's run that would have changed the Marvel world but it also gets ignored.

I don't think 9/11 would have happened the same in Marvel and DC world. Even if the building was hit before a superhero could stop it, a lot more people would have been saved.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:21 (one year ago) Permalink

9/11 totally happened in the marvel universe! i guess during the marvel universe heroes' lunch break or something?

lest we forget:

http://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/5/0/9/254509_v1.jpg
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0GbTJqLNVBngEPEq4N8ThvQpCekgXpNup2WccODgZs-S3U2bf

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:25 (one year ago) Permalink

Yeah, I doubt I'll ever read that comic, but I'll never forget the image of crying Doom!

Tuomas, Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:27 (one year ago) Permalink

spidey finishes his burrito, has a quick bathroom break, realises he's made a huge mistake

http://i.imgur.com/0tVc1Yn.jpg

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:27 (one year ago) Permalink

god bless j michael straczynski, the mad bastard

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:28 (one year ago) Permalink

I read that when it came out.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 13:53 (one year ago) Permalink

so did i! in fact i've still got it in a longbox at home. i can confirm that it did not read any better just a few months after the attacks than it does now; however, it does just keep getting funnier. wtf were the people involved thinking?

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:02 (one year ago) Permalink

RAG, I think the thing you're referring to is that one time that Reed Richards created life and the Mad Thinker used his notes to create the Awesome Android. And then that one time that Reed Richards created life was never mentioned again, afaik, because why would it be.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:02 (one year ago) Permalink

Crying Doom is one of my favorite things ever. I kinda want to make a t-shirt.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:03 (one year ago) Permalink

i sometimes think about cryingdoom.jpg after small domestic disasters like spilling coffee or stubbing my toe. it's pretty comforting tbh

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:08 (one year ago) Permalink

ME: *cuts finger while slicing onions*

CRYINGDOOM.JPG: because even the worst of us, however scarred, are still human. still feel.

ME: *feels better*

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:09 (one year ago) Permalink

Oddly, Romita Jr claimed the appearance of those supervillains was not supposed to be taken literally.
I feel kinda bad because Romita watched the towers falling and was quite traumatised by it. Maybe a lot of people were but still thought the Doom crying was silly.

Hey, maybe all the superheroes were teleported off to some major "event" where they had to fight some cosmic threat.

Those things irk me a bit because whenever heroes are summoned, they always seem to pick the most popular superheroes rather than the most powerful and capable. Why would you pick weaklings like Spiderman, Batman or Captain America?

And when supervillains all get together lined up against superheroes. "Yep, I'm a bad guy and I put on my colorful bad guy costume to help all the other bad guys because we're mean like that, we even agreed to call ourselves the alliance of evil".

That's one of many reasons why I think making serious stories with all the continuity will never work.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:18 (one year ago) Permalink

<nerd> spider-man's not a weakling, he can lift fucking trucks over his head! </nerd>

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:22 (one year ago) Permalink

I'm actually one of the Spiderman fans who got angry when writers clearly didn't know Spiderman can lift 10 tons. He's still not in the heavy weight league.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:26 (one year ago) Permalink

rag, the stuff you're picking at there is the foundations of how superheroes work, though - you do have to suspend your disbelief to some extent otherwise everything falls apart.

it's like asking why lucha libre wrestlers dress in weird outfights to fight instead of dressing in sober business attire and calmly talking through their differences before embracing in front of a cheering and emotional crowd

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:26 (one year ago) Permalink

Yeah, I watch the DC shows with my gf (who is very much not a lifelong comics nerd) and she just cannot get onboard with the fact that, for instance, Kara Danvers's coworkers cannot figure out that she has the exact same face as Supergirl.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:31 (one year ago) Permalink

yeah, i think unless you're inoculated against the inherent ridiculousness of superheroes through early and repeated exposure, as we dorks on ilx clearly were, it's just not ever gonna sit right with you

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:35 (one year ago) Permalink

In the 1970s, one suggestion was that the lenses of Clark Kent's glasses (made of Kryptonian materials) constantly amplified a low-level super-hypnosis power, thereby creating the illusion of others viewing Clark Kent as a weak and frailer being.[18] However, this reason was abandoned almost as quickly as it was introduced, since it had various flaws (such as stories where Batman, who is at the peak of human fitness, would disguise himself as Clark Kent, among others).

Bongo Herbert (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:36 (one year ago) Permalink

heh, i love the various tortured explanations of why people don't associate clark kent and superman. was it john byrne who suggested that superman vibrated his face at a frequency that meant it didn't show up on film, thus protecting his identity?

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:40 (one year ago) Permalink

Flash at least does do that much on the TV show.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:43 (one year ago) Permalink

superman's powers: flight/super-strength/invulnerability/heat vision/vibroface

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:46 (one year ago) Permalink

I hear the ladies love it.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 14:55 (one year ago) Permalink

I think there's incongruous levels of disbelief suspension required for different aspects of the stories though. Reading golden age superhero comics it's easier to overlook things but when it's a modern story with full continuity aspiring to serious drama, it can't attain any level of verisimilitude for me.
I was a proper superhero fan for a decade but there's just different types of ridiculousness and suspension of disbelief and they don't all necessarily work together. So when I'm reading a newer continuity heavy comic there's so many allowances you need to make that there can be no dramatic tension. There's no sense of consequences or gravity to anything that happens and yet so many of the stories aim for that sense of big important shit happening.

If there were more standalone stories with the tone of CC Beck, you could properly buy into them.

I had a long argument with my brother about Nolan's Batman films in that I just couldn't buy into the realistic presentation with a serious vigilante deciding to wear a costume like that (I need pointy ears on top of my head and an animal shape of my chest). I know there are real vigilantes who wear superhero costumes but I doubt they have a similar life and they are very much tributes to comic book heroes even if they do take fighting crime quite seriously.

I laughed out at the vibrating face thing.
I actually don't think Superman's secret identity is one of the worst things. If I saw an amazing superhuman who looked just like my co-worker I think it would be a while before I'd start thinking they were the same person. But it would be inevitable after a while and of course the Superman stories go on forever, so it's harder to believe after you'd seen so many close-up photos of Superman or been saved by him and he smells just the same as Clark Kent.

Also people often thought Scorpion was just a regular guy but he could lift 20 tons.

Whenever Spiderman couldn't hold his own against Kingpin, The Enforcers or some other regular human they said Spiderman wasn't feeling well that day. They retrospectively made Green Goblin stronger didn't they? Because they couldn't say that Spiderman is ill every time he fights Green Goblin.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:12 (one year ago) Permalink

it would have been great if they had, though - i'd love to see spidey fight the green goblin and crippling attacks of diarrhoea at the same time

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:17 (one year ago) Permalink

Stan Lee used to talk about "the illusion of change" in Marvel Comics, rather than change itself, and I think there's an "illusion of realism" at work in comics too, rather than realism itself.

Bongo Herbert (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:20 (one year ago) Permalink

i get what you're saying about the balance of realism and suspension of disbelief, though, and i can sympathise with it - i think i'm just less troubled by it than you are, and i can write it off more easily as a genre trope

we are now officially way off topic but i'd agree in that nolan's batman movies it got increasingly hard to reconcile the superhero elements with nolan's desire to make things 'realistic'; in some ways schumacher's batman movies are more open to embracing the craziness of comics, although clearly the results were uh, mixed at best xxp

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:21 (one year ago) Permalink

A few more things.

Wolverine fights a lot of characters who he could clearly never match.

I was a big fan of Savage Dragon for several years but one thing that never worked for me was how Dragon mistaken Glum for a toy. This was played as a joke, but the mistake has enormous consequences and when put in that light it's impossible for me to buy into him consistently mistaking Glum for a toy as he basically lived with him.

When Amanda Conner started drawing Powegirl there was a story that explained her cleavage window as "I was going to put a logo on my chest but I never decided on one then I just left it like this and I'm very sad about it". Superheroes cut out holes in their costume to sew a logo into? Maybe Superman went around with a cleavage window before he decided on his chest logo. Maybe Spiderman went around with bare feet before he decided that his socks should be like his gloves.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:38 (one year ago) Permalink

i guess so but you're outlining problems with the realism of a fast-healing, mass-murdering mutant with an adamantium skeleton, a giant green strongman with a fin on his head, and superman's cousin from an alternate dimension; if you can roll with those outlandish initial premises it seems a little myopic to start picking fault with details

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 15:44 (one year ago) Permalink

Wolverine still doesn't stand a chance in a fight against Spiderman. There's no a reason a green (racist! hoho joking) superstrong finheaded guy would keep mistaking Glum for a toy. Powergirl has a very human brain, there's no reason she'd have such a silly thought process.

Fantastical and scientifically impossible concepts don't excuse this stuff.

Even in the golden and silver age there was stuff that just didn't make sense and ideally they would have respected their audiences more. Like the ending to Spiderman's first encounter with Spider Slayer.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:05 (one year ago) Permalink

Fantastical and scientifically impossible concepts don't excuse this stuff.

but bad writing does!

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:12 (one year ago) Permalink

The vibrating face thing reminds me of the film Four Lions.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:16 (one year ago) Permalink

how about Storm vs Spiderman, who would win that fight

(The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:18 (one year ago) Permalink

I guess enough wind and lightning could stop Spiderman before he gets in a polite punch? I thought it was silly when her lightning Storm beat Wonder Woman but I dunno.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:23 (one year ago) Permalink

paste pot pete vs the beyonder

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:24 (one year ago) Permalink

aunt may vs willie lumpkin

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:24 (one year ago) Permalink

Vibrating face idea is so wonderfully stupid. Thank God J. Jonah Jameson doesn't operate out of the DC Universe. "TERRIFYING BLUR-MAN STRIKES AGAIN! WHO IS THIS FACELESS MENACE?!"

mega pegasus for reindeer (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:29 (one year ago) Permalink

You know what happens to a spider when it's hit by lightning?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:31 (one year ago) Permalink

Maybe Wolverine can fight Spiderman because Spiderman can't hit him too hard?

Fancy Dan "Spiderman, if you've got a cold again I'll fuck you up".

Another: I hate it when Dr Octopus has extending tentacles. Where does he and Omga Red keep all that metal?

Stratzynski again: Aunt May mysteriously becoming hipper and more sturdy than her earliest appearances.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:31 (one year ago) Permalink

Who would win in a fight between Nick Fury's remaining eye and a pile of Captain America's severed limbs?

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:34 (one year ago) Permalink

Vibrating face idea is so wonderfully stupid. Thank God J. Jonah Jameson doesn't operate out of the DC Universe. "TERRIFYING BLUR-MAN STRIKES AGAIN! WHO IS THIS FACELESS MENACE?!"

let us remember that clark spent like three seasons of smallville being known in the media as 'the red-blue blur'

hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:53 (one year ago) Permalink

In the old Marvel Super-Heroes RPG, the "Amazing" Spider-Man only had Incredible strength, and the "Incredible" Hulk had Unearthly strength. What's the deal, people?

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 12 January 2017 17:39 (one year ago) Permalink

Mark Gruenwald through the Marvel Universe Handbooks filled in lots of those strength details along with some other in incongruous details.

earlnash, Thursday, 12 January 2017 18:30 (one year ago) Permalink

The only proper way to decide these conflicts is with a poll.

EZ Snappin, Thursday, 12 January 2017 18:38 (one year ago) Permalink

Can't believe how long Smallville went on. I can't believe I watched it for 2 or 3 seasons. Must've been Kristin Kreuk. I remember an apologetic article in SFX trying to convince people to watch the last season. "B-b-but... he's so iconic".

Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 January 2017 18:57 (one year ago) Permalink

If there were more standalone stories with the tone of CC Beck, you could properly buy into them.

Dude, there's no part of Superman Turns Into A Lion this doesn't apply to.

Horizontal Superman is invulnerable (aldo), Friday, 13 January 2017 17:04 (one year ago) Permalink

Did he recently turn into a lion?

Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:15 (one year ago) Permalink

it was just his head tbf, not all of him

xp

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:18 (one year ago) Permalink

Despite saying all that about Nolan's Batman films I actually enjoy them a lot more than the cartoonier Marvel films.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:19 (one year ago) Permalink

i guess so but you're outlining problems with the realism of a fast-healing, mass-murdering mutant with an adamantium skeleton, a giant green strongman with a fin on his head, and superman's cousin from an alternate dimension; if you can roll with those outlandish initial premises it seems a little myopic to start picking fault with details

― hunk of poo, big fart, girlfriend, and Dove soap (bizarro gazzara)

don't buy this line of reasoning, sorry. suspension of disbelief based on premises is not analogous to suspension of disbelief based on coherence. it's perfectly possible to buy whatever absurd premises superhero comics are based on and reject them due to in-universe lack of coherence. which is why crying doom is such a mimesis-breaker - his behaviour isn't coherent within his fictional context.

increasingly bonkers (rushomancy), Friday, 13 January 2017 17:22 (one year ago) Permalink

Didn't Morrison reintroduce Super-Lion in his Superman run?

EZ Snappin, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:22 (one year ago) Permalink

idk I couldn't make it through his whole run... in the Silver Age issue it's just a one-off story thing where Superman gets cursed by Circe iirc

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 January 2017 17:25 (one year ago) Permalink

apparently Superboy is why we have the Sphinx.

http://www.superman.nu/nightwing/nightwing/superboy/3ages/3ages-3.jpg

EZ Snappin, Friday, 13 January 2017 18:00 (one year ago) Permalink

what the hell

(The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Friday, 13 January 2017 18:01 (one year ago) Permalink

just a little time-travelling transmogrification no big deal

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 January 2017 18:06 (one year ago) Permalink

red kryptonite is the best.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 13 January 2017 18:08 (one year ago) Permalink

is "red kryptonite" a type of acid

(The caption: “fine dining.”) (DJP), Friday, 13 January 2017 18:09 (one year ago) Permalink

No, iirc they are an all-republican 3 Doors Down cover band. Or the actual band 3 Doors Down masquerading as same, I'm not sure.

Gorvernment Stoodge (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 January 2017 18:23 (one year ago) Permalink

ok lol

Οὖτις, Friday, 13 January 2017 18:41 (one year ago) Permalink

whole lot of people looking to win a no-prize in here

mh 😏, Friday, 13 January 2017 19:30 (one year ago) Permalink


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