Dilbert - C or D?

he probably tried to convince her that she could cure her cancer by writing "I will be cancer free" on a piece of paper 15 times a day

is SA the guy who divorces a cancer patient? maybe!

He is terrible. How can someone divorce their spouse during cancer?

— Kollywoodfan (@Deplora26124312) March 11, 2022

Not sure how. But I guess he was really angry or something

— Kristina Basham (@Kristina_Basham) March 11, 2022

The Scott Adams / Newt Gingrich Venn diagram intersection grows.

what the fuck is this bullshit. can you really not fucking do better than this

https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-04-03

Number of times a real gun has been pointed at my head: 5

— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) April 17, 2022

The Scott Adams / Newt Gingrich Venn diagram intersection grows.

perfect tweet

DANNY OCEAN: Alright guys here’s the score. There’s $50,000 in unmarked bills at scott adams house. you know the drill we’ve already done this like 5-7 times

— aLec robBins (@alecrobbins) April 18, 2022

“You can’t shoot me in the head! I created Dilbert!” - Scott Adams on five separate occasions in his life

— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) April 18, 2022

https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02

I know it's just yet another variation of the one joke conservatives have, but apparently most newspapers printed Dave as a white character, which accidentally makes this the funniest Dilbert strip in years

god the comments section beneath every Dilbert cartoon really is just a right-wing cesspool, huh?

(i realize this is true of basically every comments section beneath basically everything)

Jesus Christ, that's painfully unfunny.

we gotta pump those numbers up

whats amazing about this is Scott Adams was called out for not having any minority characters in his comic besides the intern and he responded by insisting that Dilbert had no black characters he was so anti-racist that he could not bear to make fun of a black guy. so he finally introduces a black character after 33 years and this is the first joke he can think of. not only that but he's such a piss poor artist that you can't even tell he's supposed to be black in the print version. just incredible all around

one of his funniest bits is when he responds to criticism by twisting himself into a logic pretzel, just this insecure guy thing where he strongly believes he's always right but just spouts gibberish

or, I guess, more accurately he doesn't believe he can ever admit to being wrong or mistaken

I'm not gonna read his 90s books again but I was way into them as a kid and what I remember was that his whole shtick was basically about how to bullshit your way through life. but he at least had some sense of self-awareness, like when writing the Dilbert Future he said the whole point was to make all these outlandish predictions and then get hailed as a genius if one of them actually came true

if nothing else this dude is a good case study in how money & fame can permanently fuck up a person

Quite honestly one of the most divorced people I’ve ever seen

one of the chosen people to have divorced man mindset before he was ever married, many years ago, and each divorce has only melted his mind further

this guy could have never married and he’d still be incredibly divorced.

you know, i was just thinking of hank ketcham the other day

Dave will be featured all week, so if this one doesn't get me cancelled, more chances to come.

— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) May 2, 2022

guessing it's too late to "fix" the print versions where Dave ends up looking like Steven Seagal so we may be about to witness the funniest Dilberts ever

Davebert

what if... Dave's first line had been "Actually, I identify as Dilbert"

why is this guy so fucking tedious

he's a 64 year old rich white american who would wake up at 4am to draw Dilbert before he finally quit his former day job

this was, supposedly, after several years of waking at that hour every day to brainstorm a business venture and he came up with this comic strip

note that this is according to his own retelling of how dilbert came to be, and it sounds like 90% bullshit

Quite honestly one of the most divorced people I’ve ever seen

― gyac, Monday, May 2, 2022 12:46 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao

every time people seem astonished that this guy became such a MAGA tool I think about this blog he posted in 2007...this shit would make even Trump blush

https://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/06/my_best_story.html

I was going to make a joke to the effect of "That man's boss? Donald Trump" but there's a 0% chance of that

absolutely loving 'divorced' as a personality trait

hm

Another banger pic.twitter.com/bkC6zXekur

— Critter Jams (@CritterJams) May 3, 2022

Too bad Scott Adams can't identify as a worthwhile human.

uhh???

what level of hell is this pic.twitter.com/r6ECkFGYvv

— Christian Vanderbrouk 🇺🇸🇺🇦🌻 (@UrbanAchievr) May 26, 2022

I thought the dinosaur characters were funny when I was a kid

When a young male (let's say 14 to 19) is a danger to himself and others, society gives the supporting family two options:

1. Watch people die.
2. Kill your own son.

Those are your only options. I chose #1 and watched my stepson die. I was relieved he took no one else with him.

— Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) July 6, 2022

"It was out of my hands"

new Jordan Peterson just dropped

Perturbert

Option 3, "Provide a gun and transportation"

turns out the guy who made this understood Dilbert better than anyone else

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flWuvkNWuS4

Scott Adams when he sees his step son listening to the drive soundtrack pic.twitter.com/GnCk9mUe3Q

— Smirnoff Ice Defender (@Java_jigga) July 6, 2022

btw for those who don't know Scott Adams' stepson had a head injury at 14, got addicted to painkillers, and later overdosed on fentanyl, which is perhaps a more humane fate than getting murdered by Mr. Dilbert's own bare hands

Odd that that somehow translated in Scott Adams's head into "I killed my stepson."

Well no, he’s saying he watched his stepson kill someone, ie himself

And he also seems to be saying “I should have killed him first” which is concerning for those who have to be around him

it seems to follow that Scott Adams must be killed </parody>

Ah, OK. By "people" I thought he meant people other than the young man in question.

In any event, he seems oddly detached.

I agree it's probably a bad idea for any teens to be around him right now, the good news is the one who did just recently divorced him

Well this thread took a ghoulish turn

Dilbert took a ghoulish turn tbf

I know people were joking for a while that the strip itself would turn fascist and iirc it didn't (because apparently he gets most of his ideas from readers anyway), but I checked some recent strips and, uh:

https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-06-26

last week's story arc appears to be about rigged voting machines. it's a hoot!! (by the way, is it just me or do Dilbert strips not really have identifiable punchlines anymore?)

Painfully unfunny.

I hope they write that on his tombstone.