Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Kev Maguire thrown off Justice League 3000

I was probably asking for it, but read through all six parts of Trinity War last night -- really one of the worst comic stories I've ever read. Like, bad Jeph Loeb bad. Superheroes in weird costumes arguing for six issues, with no resolution.

I started typing something about this but the internet ate it. It's best summarised as "Some shit happened".

New 52 version of Tiny Footprints turned out to be a key plotpoint.

Is that like literally "Who killed Sue Dibny?" or just another "Hey guys, we've got a terrible idea"?

Spoiler:

They put KRYPTONITE in Superman's BRANE

It's basically just action figure superdicks being obnoxious. You're waiting for Marshall Law or The Boys to turn up in the next panel, but they never do.

It's more tiny footprints than that, The Atom (who is now a woman) used Atom Shrinky Technology to put TINY KRYPTONITE in Superman's BRANE.

Action Figure Superdick Playtime as directed by Tommy Wiseau.

is the TPB of Grant Morrison's Action run worth getting

It's better than most new-52, but it's really frustrating: as I think I said somewhere else on ILC, it's like reading in random order an incomplete run of what would be an awesome series if only you had all the bits and they were arranged chronologically.

Basically, All-Star was his perfect take on the character; this is a bit of a mess.

Seconded. And honestly, him returning to Superman after the ALL-STAR run feels downright superfluous.

There were some bits and pieces that might've been good, but it always felt (much like FINAL CRISIS) that we were getting half the comic that we were meant to be getting.

What in hell happened in Trinity War? I don't get it. So the seven deadly sins are from Earth 3? If they left that dimension to come to earth, how come Earth 3 is still sinful? Or will nothing happen if they get killed on Earth 1? And wasn't Earth 3 gone from the DCU before Nu52? So Pandora actually created the threat she was warning about? Way to go Pandora.

crap

I don't understand why anyone would willingly read that miniseries, much less expect it to be coherent and/or quality.

So, Damian Wayne will be back in the DCU next summer then.

fyi after Trinity War I went ahead and dropped all of my DC books, since they either cancelled the ones I was enjoying or did this horrible Forever Evil villain stunt that I didn't care about at all

I mean, on paper the idea that the A-line heroes were all taken out by an interdimensional invasion and the villains all have to band together to save the world is a strong one but I'm so removed from DC continuity that I honestly couldn't care less about it.

RIP Dial H, you were super weird at times

I just saw someone refer to their current publishing as "DCpointing" and I applaud using a shitty piece of humor to describe their shitty efforts.

At this point, if they just became a reprint house I think I'd be okay with it.

idgi

disappointing.

ohhh

At this point, if they just became a reprint house I think I'd be okay with it.

if they stop paying royalties, the way they've stopped paying other rights post-Levitz, I wouldn't be. (I mean, I'm not supporting any of their current initiatives either. maybe Multiversity if it ever comes out, but that's pre-nu52, he desperately justified.)

they need to do a marvel unlimited style subscription service in the worst way.

Yup.

Pretty sure whatever the current staffers turn their attention to they can do in the worst wY.

DC to abandon NYC and move to Burbank. If they can leave their history behind, I guess I can leave them behind.

The nicest thing I can think to say about what happened to the Justice League is that I don't think it's been done before.

(For those not reading i.e. all of you, they were sucked into Firestorm)

DC's entire line seems to be Countdown bad at the moment (maybe marginally better art). I see Geoff Johns got a new form of head squashing into the last Forever Evil.

what we've been missing

http://i.newsarama.com/images/i/000/118/099/i300/superman-wonder-wonder-3-var.jpg?1384970140

I don't remember seeing that picture anywhere. Where's it from?

It's pervading the whole company, in DCU vs Masters of the Universe (no, really) WW calls Supes her bf. Although the main universe is over it and the Forever Evil WW alt whose name I can't be arsed remembering is doing Owlman and Ultraman behind each others backs (with strong rape/domestic violence implications also).

That's the alternate cover for issue 3.

Ah. Ta.

that sounds like a funny if pointless crossover series

You're half right.

i just read a review that (spoilers) the big evil behind it all is a redesigned nu-52 style ORKO which is freakin' hilarious

Yeah, he's the final reveal in #3 (oops, spoilers LIKE ANYONE CARES).

It's Wendy and Marvin and Wonder Dog all over again. DC is totally that fucked up kid from Toy Story.

i didn't believe you but wow
http://everydayislikewednesday.blogspot.com/2013/12/dc-universe-vs-masters-of-universe-3-it.html

In an effort to save the day, He-Man's mom teamed-up with John Constantine

I got to here and couldn't continue due to giggles

I don't know which is more insane: Dark Orko or John Constantine in a Masters of the Universe comic. DC has been constantly surprising me since the advent of the New 52, but they're always surprises akin to putting your foot in a shoe filled with shit.

i can't take any of this seriously, i actually want to read this now to see how awful it gets

Going through comics every Tuesday when I'm checking the orders, I'm continually shocked that DC sales are 15% higher in my stores than Marvel. Everything they do looks like such a shit show.

blame the movies

Is Eric Cartman a writer at DC now?

Dark Orko is secretly brilliant IMO

D'Orko.

if they can get gaiman to write this i will buy

http://www.retailmail.com/system/emails/images/000/092/907/small/2a98f875.jpg?1381216390

tuckable mask

Out of context, I'd think the Orko thing was kind of genius, but the rest of the comic looks just awful, so...

i wish they had done this in say, dial h for hero without warning
like standard hero book then BANG attack of the grim and gritty orko

So, Plastic Man is created in this week's issue of Justice League (#25).

Which would be fine, had he not been in JLI#1 two years ago.

Continuity. It's not fucking hard.

I reeeeeally hope someone has been keeping track of all the continuity fuckups. I want a book.

tbf, continuity seems like it might be kind of hard, because any time I read a text explanation of the history of the Marvel or DC universes it's completely incoherent.

i get the feeling they don't try as hard to hire editors that will keep track of this stuff. but new 52 in particular got really messed up