Worst sex scene in a Stephen King book

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it's it.

roflrofl fight (voodoo chili), Thursday, 20 January 2022 23:20 (one year ago) link

it is

a few contenders besides tho

Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 January 2022 23:27 (one year ago) link

He fumbled with his viscous turkey leg and, with a gibbering moan, wedged it between her squamous hamhocks. The sensation was not unlike that of cramming a fistful of pizza dough into a public toilet. They thrashed their supple, ashen bodies against one another like two frightened ponies who've been tied together and thrown out of a plane.

A Living Mancave (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 January 2022 23:31 (one year ago) link


more difficult than I look (Aimless), Friday, 21 January 2022 04:31 (one year ago) link

Icicle dick was really scary to me

Nerd Ragequit (wins), Friday, 21 January 2022 07:20 (one year ago) link

In general I think most of these are ok in conception if not in execution (pulp horror isn’t & shouldn’t be about good taste, by all means put an incubus in your novel!) & in keeping with sk’s oft-stated process of typing out whatever fucked up shit comes into his head. For me it’s the sex scenes where he’s not trying to be creepy that make him come over as a creep, along with the offhand little o_0 remarks like burst hymen (feel like there are countless examples of these) & just general men writing women breasted boobily stuff

I sometimes think one reason king appeals to young readers so much is that he has a relatably immature view of sex: CONSTANTLY horned up and totally clueless as to how any of it actually works (lol I remember a comedian saying that if king didn’t have a son that looks identical to him nobody would believe he had ever done it)

Nerd Ragequit (wins), Friday, 21 January 2022 07:40 (one year ago) link

Lol yeah wins, I found this post last night which contains a litany of bad from The Stand only and it said

This is all to say that many kids—myself included—were probably exposed to the notion of sex through Stephen King, and I have to say: poor us. His sex stuff is as detailed and emotionally mature as a 13-year-old boy’s diary. It’s like a bubbling cauldron of erotica, grocery store romance novels and the grotesquerie that defines his gooiest creations. Every time I read one his sex scenes, I imagine King cracking his knuckles, leaning into his ‘80s-era Wang Computer, and just letting the magic flow.

There’s a line in Needful Things that is something like “her nipples tightened and began to tingle” because ofc that’s how you express emotions if you’re a woman?!

mardheamac (gyac), Friday, 21 January 2022 08:49 (one year ago) link

you're saying it's because of the wang

Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Friday, 21 January 2022 08:54 (one year ago) link

I distinctly recall reading a King line (in a Nightmares and Dreamscapes story, I think?) about a Black woman's nipples tasting like honey flecked with pepper and even when I was too young to have any idea what I was talking about I confidently called bullshit on that one.

A Living Mancave (Old Lunch), Friday, 21 January 2022 10:51 (one year ago) link

I assume a lot of this (like the infamous IT child orgy) was a product of King hammering out novels while coked up to the eyeballs for most of the eighties, lot of "This sounded great when I was fucked up last night, oh well I'll just go with it" vibe to it. Be interesting to see if he still does this in his clean years.

"Spaghetti" Thompson (Pheeel), Friday, 21 January 2022 11:27 (one year ago) link

Being out of his nut all the time has to have had an effect but a lot of his most “cocainey” books are from after he got sober

Nerd Ragequit (wins), Friday, 21 January 2022 11:43 (one year ago) link

My challop is that the scene in it is really not as bad as everybody says — or, to immediately start walking this back lol, it is obv very badly handled & the gender dynamic is particularly awful, I get why it’s bewildering that it was published — I don’t tho agree with the notion that a scene like this in a book like this is inherently beyond the pale. Thematically and tonally it is not out of step with the rest of the book

Nerd Ragequit (wins), Friday, 21 January 2022 11:53 (one year ago) link

This was an easy choice.

Legalize Suburban Benches (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 21 January 2022 22:52 (one year ago) link

IT by a country mile but these are all in their way O_o

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 22 January 2022 01:48 (one year ago) link

ok there was this terrible scene in this terrible book (not by steven king) where there’s a fully clothed lady, and she’s facing a life-size satanic crucifix statue with much hard one, and the statue toppled over onto the lady and took her virginity? it is possible that i am too innocent & sheltered but the geometry of this seems improbable, even with satan guiding the dong. this isn’t a thing, right? i don’t yet have access to enough life-size satanic crucifix statues to see for myself.

cowboy bopeep (cat), Saturday, 22 January 2022 05:12 (one year ago) link

what is it?

adam t. (abanana), Saturday, 22 January 2022 11:57 (one year ago) link

This thread was reminding me last night of some of the erotic moments of James Herbert, definitely a horror dude thing

Buchiko and The Man (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 January 2022 12:06 (one year ago) link

Feel like whatever the hell happens in "Dedication" ought to count in this poll.

Max Hamburgers (Eric H.), Saturday, 22 January 2022 15:39 (one year ago) link

I remember some very unfortunate masturbation content in The Talisman, but I couldnt say if it was a King chapter or a Peter Straub chapter.

nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Saturday, 22 January 2022 15:49 (one year ago) link


note the s.k. bad sex seal of approval

cowboy bopeep (cat), Saturday, 22 January 2022 17:29 (one year ago) link

Write-in vote for my favourite King sex scene is when the mom in Pet Seminary edges the dad with a sponge in the bathtub, gives him the orgasm of his life, he sputters "where'd you learn to do that", she replies "girl scouts"

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 22 January 2022 21:14 (one year ago) link

*Sematary obv

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 22 January 2022 21:14 (one year ago) link

Do they have to wear dog collars in a pet seminary?

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 22 January 2022 21:20 (one year ago) link

Pet Seminary


Nerd Ragequit (wins), Saturday, 22 January 2022 21:20 (one year ago) link

The Catican
The Puppacy
yuk yuk yuk

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 22 January 2022 21:25 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 27 February 2022 00:01 (one year ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 28 February 2022 00:01 (one year ago) link


Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Monday, 28 February 2022 07:38 (one year ago) link

the burst cherry atop the sploogy cornucopia

*hic* (cat), Monday, 28 February 2022 14:25 (one year ago) link

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