Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

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It's alright, I did the bible.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth: Pass me that sock, will you? Thanks.

― chillythekid, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Portrait of a Lady

Boy loves girl. "I'm too original for you," sniffs girl. Girl proves originality by marrying gold-digging asshole. First boy stalks girl.

― Phil Christman, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

The Idiot by Dostoevsky

"You're an idiot," says Rogozhin. "Yes," smiles Myshkin. "I'm going to mistreat a woman now," says Rogozhin. "Unhand her, you beast!" says Myshkin. His brain fries.

I also had a prof in college who liked to summarize all of Soviet Social Realism this way:
Boy meets tractor. Boy and tractor fall in love. Boy and tractor live happily ever after.

― Phil Christman, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

One last, not a novel:

Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung by Lester Bangs

WHOOP! Benzedrine's great Romilar's cheaper! NGK ZRRRRZSSST Noise is primal actfact of funky/tragic pullulation (cf. Velvets, 1965) ZAP! OK, what was I talking about?

― Phil Christman, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

John Henry Days
"You never know when someone might die, but you can always count on a writer mooching"

― Cali, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:11 (twenty-two years ago)

In the Cut.
Blowjob, observed. Hot Cop. Cop's a killer? Screw him. Then, again, again. Wait, student's obsessive. Oh. This is quite bad. I'm dead.

― Art Linkletter, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The Unnamable

I think therefore I am...but that's it, baby.

― Not That Chuck, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Brave New World

A frenzy of drugs and sex, somewhat like a frat house, only in the near future.

― loveisreal, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Middlesex:

She's a man, baby! Or is s/he?

― tl (tom), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The Rabbit Series by John Updike

Being young is better than being old. Marriage sucks. Men are assholes.

― Chris Jay, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I will always be alone. I'm so filled with sickness and bitterness that i deliberately sabotaged my one chance at love. Remind you of anyone?

Dostoyevsky "Notes From Underground"

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

[Greek] Daylight...Been a long night and something ain't right...Head games, I don't wanna play the...Head games...[slap!]

The Magus by John Fowles (9/10ths of this, Foreigner)

― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Please assist me
"i would prefer not to"
tell me why
"i would prefer not to"
you used to sort dead letters...
"I am dead now"

Batleby the Scrivener

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Lolita

Get there before the hair.

― el kabong, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Lolita

If there's grass on the field, then play ball.

― el kabong, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Naked Lunch

What an asshole. No, seriously, what an asshole!

― el kabong, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"Religion is a delightful smorgasbord! By the way, I survived crossing the Pacific in a lifeboat with a Bengal Tiger." You gonna believe this guy?

-Life of Pi

― Robomonkey (patronus), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

One part Seinfeld, one part Stephen Wright, three parts Updikean WASP.

The Mezzanine by Nicholson Baker

― DanielTheHead, Thursday, 26 February 2004 01:51 (twenty-two years ago)

A spoiled rich southern belle is so obsessed with getting what she can’t have that she looses what she does. There’s the civil war, too.

― Kathryn L., Thursday, 26 February 2004 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son; I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one.

― B. Michael Payne (This Isnt That), Thursday, 26 February 2004 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

hahahahaha

― Sym (shmuel), Thursday, 26 February 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

speaking of 99 problems (this isn't book related, sorry)

visit grey tuesday to download the grey album before emi blocks it for good. jay-z's black album mixed with the beatle's white album. v good.

back to the books...

― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Thursday, 26 February 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

THE MAGUS
by John Fowles

conchis shoots 85 greeks. it drives him insane. he kidnaps nicholas and fucks with his head using greek culture. nazis and penises.

― Jackson Mississippi, Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

INVISIBLE MAN
by Ralph Ellison

whitey sucks. DESTRUCTION!

CATCH-22
by Joseph Heller

war totally sucks. i don't want to die. i want sex. sex is good. everyone is crazy. crazy is funny. funny is tragic. JUMP!

― Jackson Mississippi, Thursday, 26 February 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

As I Lay Dying
By William Faulkner

If only they had a hearse.

― gir1 detective, Thursday, 26 February 2004 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

War and Peace: It's about Russia. (Woody Allen)

― pepektheassassin (pepektheassassin), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Les Miserables

Huge guy is bad, then becomes really good. Rescues a bunch of people. They all abandon him, but he saves more people anyway, then dies.

― Lara Murphy (MissLara), Thursday, 26 February 2004 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

White Noise by Don DeLillo

Consumerism sucks. But not as much as death. Actually it's not so bad. Unlike death. Also, the art of being funny by not being funny.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 26 February 2004 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Fight Club

I hate my life. Almost as much as Marla. Anarchy is liberating. No, anarchy is bad. Wait, anarchy is, I don't know. Ask me. The other me.

― PuzzleMonkey, Thursday, 26 February 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Last Orders by Graham Swift:

"Boy, the meat trade really fucks you up, doesn't it?"

Jane Eyre:

"Everybody who gets in my way, suffers. MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

― Paul G. Jennings (Paul G. Jennings), Friday, 27 February 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The James Bond Series by Ian Fleming:

Bond only eats margerine from Fortnums. Bond wears P.J.s. Bond is good at everything. Bond feels bad about killing. Bond hates women but shags many. Author has teeny-tiny penis.

― David Nolan (David N.), Friday, 27 February 2004 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The God of Small Things

India's cool. I want to fuck my brother. My mom's lover got lynched. India's not so cool.

― otto, Friday, 27 February 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The Lovely Bones.

I was raped and murdered. Still, look on the bright side.

― All Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Friday, 27 February 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The Long Goodbye

The bastard lied to me.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Brideshead Revisited.

Rich people are cool, especially Catholic ones.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

American Psycho.

Whitney Houston made me do it.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The End of The Affair.

God can be a right bastard sometimes.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

City of Light by Lauren Belfer:

Boo, Grover Cleveland. Boo.

― Oddrey, Friday, 27 February 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Isaac Asimov's Foundation Series

Stuff makes other stuff happen.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Animal Farm

All revolutions devour their young, especially when they taste like chicken.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

American Pastoral

I hate hippies.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Friday, 27 February 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Asimov's I, Robot
Here's three rules. Here's why they suck.

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

(so much for 25 words, heh)

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Friday, 27 February 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah man - 25 WORDS, not 25 words OR LESS!

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 28 February 2004 01:49 (twenty-two years ago)

The Electri Kool Aid Acid Test- by Tom Wolfe

Kesey takes LSD, makes a commune, gathers followers, uses day-glo, becomes paranoid, burns out. Author tripped out as well.

― iguanadon, Saturday, 28 February 2004 02:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Winter's Tale -- Mark Helprin

New York New York, big city of dreams, and everything in New York ain't always what it seems. (Like, for instance, I'm a Republican)

― spittle (spittle), Saturday, 28 February 2004 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Fight Club (Redux)

I read this book. Because Tyler read this book.

― PuzzleMonkey, Saturday, 28 February 2004 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Coraline

Whoooo oooo! Quaint little girl scares the crap out of grown up readers.

― PuzzleMonkey, Saturday, 28 February 2004 09:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Naked Lunch

Heroin eyeball. Razor. Control fuck. Is.

― PuzzleMonkey, Saturday, 28 February 2004 09:34 (twenty-two years ago)

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