Rolling Avian Issues Thread

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uwShih4QAfs/Ub8629pRYqI/AAAAAAAAKjA/xEwj1IhxikQ/s1600/bird-problems-poster-01.jpg

http://www.birdbusta.net/sites/72/images/swfimage_home_1.jpg

LJ - do you have any current avian issues your fellow ILAFL posters can help you with?

theoretical structural avian issues case study -- the owls of the royal london borough of kensington and chelsea are creating unsolicited noise past the 23:00 threshold beyond which environmental health law might be employed to curtail wanton festivity or force the all england club to postpone prolix quarter finals, yet there appears to be no legally actionable remedy against the owls, and the environmental-communitarian praxis supplanting that law prohibits the reasonable suggestions of the local citizenry and nondomiciled residents that all trees or treelike growths or structures be removed in order to coerce rustication among strigiformes and lesser diurnal avians, just as unwanted housing benefit claimants can now be swiftly despatched to the provinces in the manner of tudor mendicants.....what is to be done?

clearly tree destruction is out of the question but there is no statute mandating inviolable life-rights of rodentine vermin such as provide owls their primary nutritional source. perhaps the solution would be to bioengineer a disease that swiftly and entirely obviates the urban rat and mouse population, and simply observe the owls radiate away from the royal boroughs in search of prey

god there is that really unpleasant gif of a load of owls sitting together and one of them eating a live rat, i don't want to see it again but it's probably worth searching the other owl threads for to see just once

that is a good plan but killing rats is virtually impossible, from memory there are only a few sub-arctic islands and remote canadian prairie settlements without rats, the combined biosciences/big pharma expertise of the borough's plutocracy would surely find it easier just to engineer a virus to kill owls along with pigeons, sparrows and other avian plebes, while leaving the rats so they can feed imperial golden eagles and peacocks or whatever

i saw an absolutely enormous rat the size of a squirrel on borough high street yesterday. it was dragging half a hotdog along. popped into a cranny, then briefly re-emerged as if to parade its scavengings before my friend and i

the flaw in your latest plan is that raptors are usually far more susceptible to disease than more complex/'developed' passerine species - and if you wipe out the insectivores you essentially eliminate the foodsource of most larger carnivores, unless the butchers of the parish are willing to cast out offal when the eagle's cry is heard. peacocks, their cry aside, are fairly dismal birds and will surely succumb to road traffic inside half a week. barring total avian apocalypse, the solution will unfortunately have to involve top-down ecosystemic change, and this would by definition involve the introduction of a species which preys on owls - perhaps a genetically modified race of cuckoos that will target larger bird species, causing a dip in all non-passerine numbers, before settling on woodpigeon as their primary host after all the owls are gone

of course, let us not forget that the problem is not the owls per se but the owls' noise. it would not be difficult to electrify every strigiforme eyrie and train the owls by aversion therapy to not hoot. this is of course assuming they have the cerebral capacity to register causality. failing this, fry the bastards - most owls take formerly-used nests as their home, so immigrants will soon meet the same fate without extra expenditure locating and installing the apparatus. might get a few opportunistic crows into the bargain; quod callidus erat, fatalis est

of course, quod is neuter singular, and 'callidus' is not, occasioning great anguish in my breast. the second time this week i have fallen foul of latinate gendered endings on ilx

Easy for you to say the owls shouldnt give a hoot, but it does raise the issue of the right of the owl to issue his call and raises a vital question, to wit: to who does the owl cry in the dark

that's far too good for excelsior

Clumsy enough imo and leaving out the m after who now has my mind on ents but there you are

sometimes the speed of wit exceeds perfection

Too wit to rue

tourette's too, you

e's avian laugh

oiseaux serious

Threatening to revisit the great duckjoke threads

skrue mcduck thread is possibly all-time ilx top 5

Ya

In aon chur, oiseaux serious? Parceque je ne suis pas serein, non

trilingual puns are possibly where I tap out - too many pidgins accruing

i saw an absolutely enormous rat the size of a squirrel on borough high street yesterday. it was dragging half a hotdog along. popped into a cranny, then briefly re-emerged as if to parade its scavengings before my friend and i

― imago, Tuesday, 18 March 2014 00:27 (40 minutes ago)

so gross, although squirrel sized rats are not uncommon it's just their bushy tails suggest they are larger, rats the size of cats still one of the grottiest images in nursery rhyme law

there is probably some maoist insurrectionary out there catalyzing rat fecundity in rich districts, if superprime london housing is going to increase at 10% p/a for the rest of time like those panglossian fund managers are saying, then rat infestations would for sure do the reverse

in which case those fund managers should invest in industrial owl farms, how to get these asocial birds to pullulate and counter-infest

Just turns into a ratrace tho

trouble with owls is that they tend to leave pullulates of rat keratin & bone everywhere; this will reduce the problem but won't eradicate it entirely

of course, if the owls manage to control the rat population, they effectively control their own population, leading to a boom/bust cycle that may at length synchronise with that of the housing market

spotted today: group of about 8 or 9 bright young marketing types with tons of extremely expensive camera equipment in Maryon Park, one of whom was prancing around on the grass throwing bits of bread high into the air

upon questioning it transpired that they were attempting to serenade 'the birds' to come and parade on film

i dispensed the cursory advice that a feeding-table near plant cover and a modicum of patience might be more lucrative, and left them to their mad march rite, the invocation of the Perfect Footage

they seemed impatient, alas. how, then, could they have obtained their quarry? the crass among you may suggest cgi, the artful a complex system of capture nets, digitally removed in postproduction, leaving only the frenzied oscillations of the afternoon chorus

did you ask any of them out?

I do adore our avian comrades but I don't think it'd work. We'd be too similar

wrong sized bottoms?

only end up fighting over the blood sausage

it's that impressive, eh?

this line of enquiry has me discomfited and i would prefer we address the accounted predicament

well that's a first

do u have any opinions on herons

we can be herons
if just for one day

you kids stay off the heron now, that shit'll mess you up

the german version of that could have been 'herren' with a little license

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPHi9VIC9a8

yes

they are especially wonderful in flight - great, loping wings, instantly identifiable - and their terrestrial repose is exemplary

they are also surprisingly sly - I once raised a camera to capture a very peaceable-seeming specimen outside charing cross hospital in hammersmith, but upon inspection, the image was heron-free. it had flown, silently, in the moment of its chronicling

there is an intelligence in their eye that does not belong to many other non-passerines

i hear there are exemplary specimens in delaware

m8

they seem to have small bottoms

wading birds tend to be dolicocephalic, ectomorphic and micropygous

without looking up

big-headed, long-limbed, small-footed

ectomorphic is prob wrong

you don't know what she looks like?

http://i.imgur.com/8jIul8X.gif

i'd pleur that furrow! har de har har

oh as in callipygic

ffs micropodal wd be small footed

truly this is the thread of my classical education's undoing

Born 25 February 1943
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let's let Josie Long be Josie Long and not a ... redacted

it's ok brimstead, you have caused no offence (and i don't know who it is either)

don't know what this garbage is about but all current posters itt are established and valued posters

have some respect please

doing the costanza exit, feeling like in goldeneye on n64 when you trip an alarm and a million guards get all up in your ass

being in Altamont, do you have any insight into the Rolling Stones?

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2:10 PM - 31 Dec 2015

Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying

The stones helicoptered in/out to/from altamont afaik. It's motorcross/bmx/meth culture up here, pretty much

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/6413c81140ed4d80439c1b3eb771886c4ed37f80/0_0_3500_2099/master/3500.jpg?w=1920&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=36e1e69065f9b4e2076f54a963ac47e8

https://twitter.com/naturecamhd/status/688085264036675585

earlier this week my boss told us about the time he stole a hummingbird egg from london zoo

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/18/Apotheosis.jpg

those morbid corvids!

not graving but dining

There it is

lol

WARNING GRAPHIC CONTENT: GORY IMAGES OF INJURED PIGEON

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3444471/Horrifying-pictures-capture-moment-seagull-DEVOURS-baby-pigeon-shock-city-centre-shoppers.html

notice how the gull stands athwart the pigeon during the enjoyment of his food

ilx has a lot of avian issues this week
XD

The Eurasian jay was one of the many species originally described by Linnaeus in his 18th century work Systema Naturae. He recognised its affinity with other corvids, naming it Corvus glandarius.[2]

there is a pair of these living nearby; they are a common normcore avian, though i have seldom seen them so close. they tend to flit around hyperactively in the trees, not yet quite in leaf. they look raffish without being either lowering in the manner of higher corvids, or delinquent in the manner of magpies which they otherwise resemble. the differences with the latter are instructive; swole rather than hench, less agitated though probably more agile. their footwork for a comparatively large avian is extraorindary, they seem to float above the branches as if cushioned by miniature air max 90s. they resist anthropomorphization more than the other corvids. they do not seem to have any affective idiosyncracies; their colouration may be lurid but they are otherwise neutral, typified by a sort of motivic listlessness that allows them do very little in any purposive sense, while seldom settling athwart any particular branch for very long.

whichever smartarse decided 'garrulus' was a more appropriate genus name deserves a particularly crass tick

also welcome back, etc

the bit about being cushioned by miniature air max 90s is the most on-point observation; they really do seem to flow about vegetation, rather than crash from branch to branch with the hyperbolic tail-dipping radge of a magpie. you get a lot of them near where i live.

saw a rufous hummingbird while taking a piss in a bush on Vancouver's "beer island" the other day. exceptional avian to observe whilst micturating

they don't make all that much noise, again especially compared to magpies and the noise they do make is less distinctive than that of most other corvids.

it's less insistent and noisy than most corvid cries, yes, but it can be quite copious. it's still a weird choice for 'garrulus'

had no idea hummingbirds went as far north as canada, truly the galapagos penguin of hummingbirds

how do you rate these normcore avians:

http://i.imgur.com/AkIDZfD.jpg

5, 9, 10

I took pains to determine the flight of crook-taloned
birds, marking which were of the right by nature, and
which of the left, and what were their ways of living, each
after his kind, and the enmities and affections that were
between them, and how they consorted together.

https://twitter.com/onlyloveHH/status/723616680929275905

It is clear that Khan doesn’t think there is much merit in appearing close to Corbyn in any way, even now that he has won his election. But what will be interesting is how critical the new Mayor decides to be of his party leader. Labour moderates are hoping that at the very least he will be what one described as ‘another woodpecker at the tree’, chipping away at the party leadership with similar comments to the ones he made over the weekend about the importance of actually winning elections.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/jun/20/catalogue-doiseaux-review-pierre-laurent-aimard-aldeburgh-festival#img-2

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3649724/Hats-ladies-just-make-look-silly-Anna-Friel-hits-Royal-Ascot-pigeon-head-QUENTIN-LETTS-explains-isn-t-fan.html

took like 30 binocular-zoomed photos of what i assumed was an exotic falcon species in cyprus recently, turns out it was a common kestrel

kestrels are dope tho

Yup. One thing I'll miss about living in methil is that one of the old guys here keeps pigeons,which I enjoyed hanging out with.

damn why wasn't i at that messiaen thing

yh obv it was still a beautiful bird posing magnificently before a lighthouse

i might post a photo

http://i.imgur.com/Ho4moUB.jpg

dignified bird

immensely so

i saw a barred owl, during the day, on saturday. i had never seen an owl irl before in the wild.

im fostering a pomeranian right now and the owl looked at him in a way that caused me some panic.

on reflection it was possibly a barn owl

post pics of the pom, por favor!

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv105/NAPOLEONROFL/dog/Screen%20Shot%202017-06-26%20at%2010.07.22%20AM.png

trying to work out which avians would be able to turn the aforepictured into lunch

perhaps the very largest strigiforms

yeah he likely wouldn't have had much of a chance of eating him but he did stare at him quite intently. the dog didn't realize what was going on so i picked him up, the owl followed us for a short time - well we walked further along the trail and he flew from behind us to in front of us twice before deciding to stay perched on the branch and no bother with us anymore.

adorable!