Reveal Your Uncool Conservative Beliefs Here

I would really like it if military time was commonplace enough that people would stop being all ostentatiously fucking grateful about it.

there were Vets outside the Def Leppard show I just went to asking for courtesy tickets to the show for vets and kept saying "you're welcome" with a sneer to people who walked by them, it was a bit offputting

i don't feel too bad tbh i don't remember asking anybody to fuck up the middle east for me

i'm glad i didn't get conscripted i guess but no conscription is a keystone of endless ambient war, shrug

Denmark only has peacetime conscription. No conscripts went to Iraq, only professional soldiers. It's meant to be defensive, but of course, last time we were invaded, we were defeated in six hours anyway.

people spend way too much energy on getting laid

variation on that: hook-up culture is bad.

copyright rules should be more standardized and enforceable.

This is not so much conservative as straight up racist, but sometimes I think that people with passports from certain countries should not be allowed to open American bank accounts. Particularly Nigerians and to a lesser extent Iranian and Armenian nationals. Individuals from these groups generate a disturbingly high proportion of alerts for unusual transaction activity and are almost never cleared of wrongdoing in the subsequent investigations (e.g. every time their activity gets referred, they are in fact ultimately determined to be doing something fraudulent/illegal).

Their schemes are ALWAYS incredibly complicated, involving numerous relatives, associates, and domestic/foreign shell companies, so the investigations invariably take days to complete. At the end of your 20 hour investigation you will typically find the source of funds is... in order of frequency of occurrence... 1. scammed American elderly people(lottery/romance/whatever); 2. victims of tax fraud ("You owe the IRS $10,000 and must pay us now!"); 3. suspected drug money; 4. money being laundered out of Nigeria (oil/government corruption) and moved everywhere on earth imaginable before being parked in real estate or in an offshore account.

In conclusion, my uncool conservative belief/fantasy/death wish is that Nigerian nationals should not be banked in America. Thank you and good night.

thank you and enjoy your FPs

does that have to do anything with that iranian millionaire living in ohio who was on welfare?

oh did these ripoff artists park their money with Wells Fargo?

i don't think so

i'm referring to this one: http://www.wkyc.com/news/investigations/raid-targets-geauga-county-millionaire-on-food-stamps/315215814

I think Mumia is probably guilty and while there were some questionable details at original trial, probably doesn't deserve another retrial (note - not a belief I apply to other similar cases, just that one).

treating dysphoric children with puberty blockers and HRT is unethical.

not being attracted to old or obese or disabled or otherwise conventionally unattractive people is "fine" and "unproblematic" and "not symptomatic of internalized gerontophobia/fatphobia/ableism".

there's something quaint and poetic about cleaning and oiling a handgun, engraving your glock with delicate filigrees and bald eagles, building a gun cabinet out of barnwood to keep in the corner of your man cave. is it worth losing a part of our cultural heritage in the name of gun control? yes. but something of marginal value will still have been lost.

Yeah you're wrong about the first one.

maybe. I'm just not convinced that young children (and to a lesser extent adolescents) are capable of informed consent for medical interventions of that magnitude.

this is not about what's right or wrong, this is about what's cool

lol sry I got mad

pathetic esquire magazine fanfic at the end is the height of uncool at least

The bit about having some interest in/reverence for guns-as-objects has become somewhat more understandable to me when I contemplate my own relationship with guitars. I'm frankly a sucker for gear fetishism.

One can kinda understand how deeply a gun nut might just really get _into_ the history, peculiarities, aesthetic properties, and cultural resonance of a particular piece of equipment. How he might contemplate its power and its resonance, enjoy handling and caring for it, and strive to use it more accurately and maintain it well. (Quite irrespective of its capacity to, y'know, kill people.)

Just as there are those dudes who can glance at a Stratocaster headstock and tell you the year and place of manufacture, based merely on the serial number. People who aren't necessarily even serious musicians, they just love to collect and fondle and admire guitars. "Ah, I can tell that that's a '53; they didn't start using the bent-steel saddles until '54, plus that year's formulation of Fiesta Red is known to fade to pink rather than deepen."

(Or whatever, I'm sure I'm garbling that, but you know the type of knowledge I mean.)

I don't really want to wade into a debate about this, but puberty blockers' effects are reversible, and essentially just buy time for adolescents to make their decisions; and going through the wrong puberty as a trans kid can often be extremely painful.

My own uncool (or just hypocritical) belief: I do think as a general rule it's better not to ascribe a gender to strangers before they've articulated it themselves, especially because there isn't a consistent code of presentation among nonbinary people; but in my own case, I would pretty much always rather have other people correctly infer my gender than ask me how I identify.

people should be allowed to own guns, just not ammunition. Like one day we'll have old cars, too, but you'll only be able to buy gasoline for them with a bunch of annoying paperwork and a trip to the heavily regulated special purpose fuels dispensary. this is not an uncool conservative belief, sorry.

i remember that chris rock routine (we don't need gun control, we need bullet control)

isn't that a chris rock joke lol xp

guns should be repurposed to shoot cereal IMO

I hope it doesn't make me a bad ally, but I find takes like this SO FUCKING EXHAUSTING TO READ

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/10/white-feminists-gotta-go-amy-schumer-and-white-womens-foolishness/

I don't even disagree with her, but it's a combination of the writing style and the immense political weight being put on a fucking music video.

some impressive wokeness one-upmanship in the comments:

I agree with this in large part, but I think that the author's argument is undermined by the lack of nuance relative to racial identification of Schumer and Silverman as white. While I would agree that the colonization of black women's fantasies are activites closely associated with the performance of whiteness, I would enjoy reading a piece that theorizes Schumer's behavior as a reinscription of whitness by a Jewish woman who has taken on the label of white as a means for passing in a largely European Christian nation. Jews pass for white all the time and, by and large, most people consider them white. Most Jews hold and exercise white privilege much of the time, but, again, I think it is important to trace out that what Silverman and Schumer are doing is adopting white racist behavior in ways that have specific dimensions not attended to in this post. I find it deeply disturbing that Schumer has chosen to use her ability to pass as white to this end when she should be thinking about ways to undermine whiteness. I believe that the assimilation of Jews into white America is one of the worst things that has happened to our culture and has led to mindlessly racist humor such as we see here with Schumer.

(worried that rolling my eyes at that is uncool/conservative, idk)

the assimilation of Jews into white America is one of the worst things that has happened to our culture and has led to mindlessly racist humor such as we see here with Schumer

can you imagine thinking like this?

i would honestly prefer that sort of nuanced, ambivalent thinking to the sort of stuff that dominates in the current twitter hot-take wokeconomy, where people form conclusions first and then figure out why as they fill up their word count

WHITE PEOPLE SUCK -- MY TAKE

I get into a lot of conversations about this, and what a coworker explained to me is that language that used to be reserved for academic thinking — "black bodies," "misogynoir," "heteronormative," — has filtered into the writing of the daily thinkpiece grind and the occasional Katy Perry tweet

I think to get the daily dose of 10 grafs, a statement that any liberal with a working brain can agree with (ie, "Amy Schumer shouldn't be so careless in satirizing black protest") turns into a term paper ("This narrow and basic conception of feminism patronizingly tells black women and other women of color to “lean in” while categorically ignoring the structural impact of racism, sexism, xenophobia, cis-sexism, homophobia, hyperincarceration and classism in our lives.")

i agree w/ much of the recent posts itt

*many

i get the desire to explain issues in this manner and it doesn't put me off, but it makes me cringe bc i know it's going to make people who need to be reached just shut down and stop listening.

I kind of checked out of reading this stuff a couple years ago. my sympathies go out to those in working media who still have to read it on a daily basis

agree w/that take whiney.

whiney otm

Also:

This narrow and basic conception of feminism patronizingly tells black women and other women of color to “lean in” while categorically ignoring the structural impact of racism, sexism, xenophobia, cis-sexism, homophobia, hyperincarceration and classism in our lives.

It is why Donald Trump would heartily win the presidential election if only white women voted, but “women” are being named as the constituency that “will defeat Donald Trump on election day.”

No, narrow conceptions of feminism are not why Trump is winning among white women. Nope.

er, actually may be misreading that sentence nm

Still, I doubt Trump is winning the popular vote among white women and the results there probably have a lot more to do with the electoral college and the awkward conceit of the exercise.

does it really need to be said that "a belief that is not in the 95th percentile of performative wokeitude" is not the same thing as "a conservative belief"?

racism, sexism, xenophobia, cis-sexism, homophobia, hyperincarceration and classism

is there a way to write intersectionally without having to list every intersection every time?

lol eephus

the infinite "wokeness" outbidding in leftist discourse is sort of a primary feature of the left since the enlightenment, but the absence of any specific situational or pragmatic context in online world makes it seem especially silly and irrelevant. The whole "why should we care about this" part is implicitly answered by "because people will click on it." Which is to say it's a fancy form of bitchy gossip devoid of actual political relevance.

And to walk back my uncool conservatism I think there's a parallel development on the right with regard to how extreme and "pure" your anti-liberalism is which reaches its logical conclusion in paranoia and the half-baked talk of revolution.

yeah i think you have the two "pure" extremes reacting against one another and tugging the moderates away from each other, like the pure hatred of liberalism leads to the unforgiving shaming of anything not purely woke and liberal and vice versa.

I've tried to argue elsewhere that what we've been seeing is a steady denigration of "the political" understood as the accommodation of competing value systems and replaced it with a kind of moral absolutism on all sides.

if occasional quiet eye-rolling at wokeaholics is an uncool conservative belief, i guess i have it. other than that i'm mostly ignoring my latent uncool conservative beliefs atm.

Imo there's been a lot of compromise on both sides in closing the gap between normal liberals and those making calls for 'extreme woke purity', in the past few years. or I've just started ignoring the latter more lol

xp that's a tough one. marxists notwithstanding, i think the whole "working hard is the mark of an exemplary human" is some conservative bullshit. tune in and drop out, imo