LIST YOUR HILARIOUS LOCAL COMMERCIALS DURING BASEBALL BROADCASTS HERE:

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1. NYC, Subway ad featuring Willie Randolph and Joe Torre - "IT'S A LOT OF MEAT"

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 03:49 (fourteen years ago) link

2. Boston, Toyota of Raynam or something - some car dealership - "...oh oh oh" + heavy MASSACHUSETTS ACCENT

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 03:50 (fourteen years ago) link

3. Chicago, day games used to have these hilarious EAGLE INSURANCE ads with Mancow (what a douche?!?) crashing a car because he was too busy peeping a LOVELY LATINA while driving. Does WGN still air those?

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 03:52 (fourteen years ago) link

LINCOLN MERCURY OF RAYNAM

FIVE OH EIGHT EIGHT EIGHT OH OH OH OH OH!

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 03:52 (fourteen years ago) link

I grew up on the Empire Carpet jingle on WGN, back when it was just five-eight-eight-two-three-hundred, none of this 800 shit.

mattbot (mattbot), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:04 (fourteen years ago) link

i think EMPIRE is nationwide now!

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:08 (fourteen years ago) link

wait, wait, they had mancow drive the car in the eagle ads?! oh no, that sucks -- those ads used to be COMEDY GOLD

maura (maura), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:16 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, the Empire commercials are on all the time here in MI and the owner guy is a little cartoon caricature so I figure they're global now.

mattbot (mattbot), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:22 (fourteen years ago) link

wait mattbot you're in michigan?!!!?

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:41 (fourteen years ago) link

Haha, yeah. My last exam in my first yr of grad school at UM is tomorrow. Then beer. Then the LOT OF MEAT thread.

mattbot (mattbot), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:48 (fourteen years ago) link

what happened to IOWA?

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:57 (fourteen years ago) link

SHOE CITY (DC/Baltimore)

(a hip-hop video lauding the skillz of Shoe City with the cable-access production values)

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 22 April 2005 04:59 (fourteen years ago) link

also, team commercials count too.

some team i saw (blanking on which one) tonight had a commercial set to ludacris...

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 05:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Iowa's still doing its thing, I guess. I got drunk dialed from a couple of friends who were at Gabe's last night--I took it as a sign that all was well.

Does anyone else get the 1-800-CALL-SAM ("tell 'em you mean business") lawyer ads or is that just a Detroit/Tigers thing?

mattbot (mattbot), Friday, 22 April 2005 05:19 (fourteen years ago) link

For Cleveland's Regional Transit Authority, Mike Hargrove:
"I ride RTA because I *CHEEEWWS* to ride RTA."

weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Friday, 22 April 2005 09:51 (fourteen years ago) link

yes! shoo sit-tay! the FIRST shoe city ads were frickin awesome!

how about senate insurance? kiss my bumper! just kiss it!

jonathan quayle higgins (j.q. higgins), Friday, 22 April 2005 11:29 (fourteen years ago) link

I think stencil's "Stand Up" commercial was an Orioles promo, where they just show portraits of the O playas holding bats / pounding gloves / doing stoic & manly baseball stuff while the cameraman works the zoom & swivle.

Also, YES Empire is nationwide! That guy's voice unnerves me - he sounds synthetic.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 12:38 (fourteen years ago) link

"CALL NOW to get affordable carpet installed & to tell me where you live so I can kill your children and eat your dog!" EIGHT HUNDRED FIVE EIGHT-EIGHT etc.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 12:39 (fourteen years ago) link

wait...mike tyson is doing empire ads?

jonathan quayle higgins (j.q. higgins), Friday, 22 April 2005 12:42 (fourteen years ago) link

More like HAL in the form of an old rickety white man w/ an ingratiatingly soothing & affable tone to his shills.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 12:50 (fourteen years ago) link

The best sports related local commercials growing up in Indiana was not for baseball, but the ones that Bob Knight used to do for whatever he needed this week i.e. furniture, a new Chevrolet, a new suit, Mexican Food, etc.

Big Red Smokies and Kahn's Hotdogs are a big thing Marty Brennaman is always selling on Reds radio broadcasts. The Smokies are a hotdog sized smoke sausage they sell at Riverfront (err..Great American) and Kahns sells them in stores around Ohio and Indiana.

Earl Nash (earlnash), Friday, 22 April 2005 13:01 (fourteen years ago) link

"I'm Coach Knight, and I gotta tell ya, Roscoe's Regal ImPornium has the best deals on all your Vivid video needs!"

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 13:07 (fourteen years ago) link

In Boston, there's this amazing Manhattan Clothing (standard hip-hop clothing store) ad that's essentially a grainy, shot-by-shot remake of the Notorious B.I.G. "Hypnotize" video with rewritten lyrics:

Manhattan, Manhattan, can't you see?
Sometimes your clothes just hypnotize me

Manny Ramirez makes a really brief cameo. Most of the scantily clad ladies are kind of unattractive. The "yacht" they use for one of the shots looks to be equivalent in size to a somewhat large motorboat. The commercial very clearly cost about fifty bucks to make. It isn't baseball-specific, and it's been on the air for a few months, but I'll miss it.

The Dunkin' Donuts "BA NA NA" ad is shaping up to be this year's most annoying Red Sox radio spot, in the grand tradition of last year's know-it-all-kid ad (was that Fleet?) and the perennial Giant Glass "NUMBER NINE!"

Any Castiglione/Trupiano spot on WEEI kind of shatters the high mark for comedy, though.

Daniel Cohen (dayan), Friday, 22 April 2005 13:14 (fourteen years ago) link

BERNIE & PHYL
QUALITY COMFORT AND PRICE (that's nice!) *blare*

There was some commercial for the aforementioned furniture store featuring Robert Parish that was painful. (I watch way too much NESN.)

Also, fuck those PartyPoker.net Boston / New York Challenge promos.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 13:25 (fourteen years ago) link

don't worry daver, they'll be gone soon in some morass of insider dealing and gambling-virtual-table shadiness

maura (maura), Friday, 22 April 2005 14:02 (fourteen years ago) link

morASS

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 14:03 (fourteen years ago) link

I think that's the 10th time this week I've pointed out the ASS in morASS.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 14:04 (fourteen years ago) link

There's a furniture store in Toronto, called Bad Boy, that had Chris Woodward in one of their TV spots. Need I say more?

That in itself is funny enough - but the fact it was a Bad Boy commercial, who's ads are weird enough as it is, made it K-lassic!

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 22 April 2005 14:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i always get a chuckle out of the businesses w/ non-star endorsements (scott erickson-apple ford: really just terrible delivery; mike bordick...don't even remember what it was; there's something on the phils radio network w/ jason michaels!).

of course then there's the shitty business w/ the maruee stars (cal ripken-adventure world; lavar arrington, freh smoo'-eastern automotive).

oh, dear.

there's also an ad for a worker's comp insurance company currently running on the o's tv network w/ billy "nuclear dish" ripken talking about the amount of times he was hit on the noggin. indeed!

jonathan quayle higgins (j.q. higgins), Friday, 22 April 2005 14:43 (fourteen years ago) link

So far this season I haven't noticed any of Boston's "Baybay! Safe Haven!" raps...which is a tragedy.

Second the Bernie and Phyl's ads, particularly w/Wakefield striking out Bernie.

Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Friday, 22 April 2005 15:01 (fourteen years ago) link

there are some really awful ads in DC featuring washington wizards players. but how could i forget senate insurance?

http://www.senateinsurance.com/images/Kiss_animated.gif http://www.senateinsurance.com/images/Howard_G_new.jpg

mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 22 April 2005 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link


I remember Eagle. Was that the one where the door falls off, with the bad acting, or was that a different one?

I haven't seen those commercials much lately, but I don't watch that much WGN or the 'U'.

Shatterproof Glass (dymaxia), Friday, 22 April 2005 18:52 (fourteen years ago) link

that kiss my bumper image is AWESOME!

yeah, whatever that ad w/ steve blake is...uhh, terrible.

jonathan quayle higgins (j.q. higgins), Friday, 22 April 2005 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link

I think stencil's "Stand Up" commercial was an Orioles promo, where they just show portraits of the O playas holding bats / pounding gloves / doing stoic & manly baseball stuff while the cameraman works the zoom & swivle.

yeah that's it. somehow i don't see bj ryan getting down to luda, but hey.

that poker thing is a NESN promotion. "i don't even know where boston is."

hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 22 April 2005 19:28 (fourteen years ago) link

YES is doing it, too. Fuckers.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 22 April 2005 22:10 (fourteen years ago) link

Does anyone else get the 1-800-CALL-SAM ("tell 'em you mean business") lawyer ads or is that just a Detroit/Tigers thing?

http://callsam.com/elements/images/header.free.consultation.gif

this guy's just a michigander, I'm not sure if the rest of the US is ready for his personal injury advocacy.

scrimshaw (scrimshaw1837), Saturday, 23 April 2005 00:42 (fourteen years ago) link

The new bald Johnny Damon & Theo DD commercial is quality, much better than the one last year with Schilling learning how to PAHK the CAHR.

zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Monday, 25 April 2005 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Baseball/Canada/2004/06/23/dawson250-cp.jpg
When I hit one over the fence at Wrigley Field, I hit it over a Tru-Link fence

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 April 2005 21:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Another WGN favorite: Victory Auto Wreckers ("is that old car worth money?"), which was filmed in like 1981 and is STILL ON THE AIR.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 April 2005 21:43 (fourteen years ago) link

victory auto wreckers! you can put it on the boooooard, yes!

hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 25 April 2005 21:51 (fourteen years ago) link

IF YOU NEED A CAR
AND IT DON'T LOOK GOOD
WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
MAROONE'S!

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:23 (fourteen years ago) link

omg just saw an ad for a b'more law firm starring bubba smith and ray lewis!

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link

ok, so far, b'more has the best ads of anyone. great exterminator commercial, weird new wave dudes commercial, etc

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link

the new wave "I'm so hot" one is for maryland lotto. AWESOME "I'm so hot" followed by EXTERMINATOR commercial! I hope i get more o's games.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

where are you, hstence?

mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

at the office.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link

David Ortiz for Comcast: "You gotta try my new recipe for mango salsa! Ooh, mama!"

Ah, so that's why I pay $130 a month for your shitty cable. Good work.

Daniel Cohen (dayan), Friday, 6 May 2005 23:11 (fourteen years ago) link


Yes, Victory Auto Wreckers is the one with the door faling off.

it's mashed potato time! (dymaxia), Saturday, 7 May 2005 00:34 (fourteen years ago) link

not really hilarious, but pretty annoying, is the radio luke-oil commercial during phillies games. and i think they play it every single commercial break.

"americans love to take a drive for any reason"

the leglo (the leglo), Saturday, 14 May 2005 22:16 (fourteen years ago) link

i like that you have the fortune of seeing broadcasts from around the country.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 02:17 (fourteen years ago) link

You can, too, jay, w/ EXTRA INNINGS!

Using "wooden" to describe Castiglione & Trup is excessively redundant.

David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 31 May 2005 02:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Aki Otskua in a dopey commercial for Corky's Pest Control in San Diego:

http://planqv2.fuckyouanddie.com/images/aki4.gif

tylero (tylero), Saturday, 4 June 2005 03:30 (fourteen years ago) link

wtf?

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 4 June 2005 18:59 (fourteen years ago) link

He's trying to kill the ants that are invading his picnic. With a bat.

tylero (tylero), Sunday, 5 June 2005 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

because he's a baseball player, geddit?

jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 5 June 2005 16:00 (fourteen years ago) link

i like how the victory auto wreckers ad is "new and improved". same footage of scuzzy guy in tight jeans and members only jacket, but new voiceover and graphics.
i could probably recite the whole lincoln tech ad they used to run. "whether you're overemployed or underemployed, out of work or soon will be, or just looking to turn your career around..."

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 04:02 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...
This doesn't really fit the criteria of the thread, but I was in the Beaumont, TX area last weekend and saw a local car dealership ad featuring Lamar University product Kevin Millar!

boldbury (boldbury), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:10 (thirteen years ago) link

boardsmag.com/screeningroom/search/?q=mets

mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:47 (thirteen years ago) link

i always love the ones for Bobs Discount Furniture. Part of my wants to fuck the shit out of that woman who is on there laying on the beds and shit.

Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 11:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Haha, there was just one on FSN during the Twins-Yankees game and while I only overheard it the gist was Ron Gardenhire was bitching about how stupid an ump was... for not wearing his seatbelt. Torii (I think) added the tagline "If you don't buckle up, you could be out -- and even ejected." Considering how easy it's come for Gardy to bitch at stupid umpiring, I'm surprised he was so wooden.

Stupornaut (natepatrin), Thursday, 28 July 2005 01:05 (thirteen years ago) link

two words : Foxwoods Leprechauns (on NESN in Boston)

Jenna Snow (jsnow584), Sunday, 31 July 2005 17:11 (thirteen years ago) link

hi there

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 31 July 2005 19:11 (thirteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...
Big fan of the 'Fanaticos De los Yanquis' commercials advertising the SAP simulcast feature. The camera is set up low and the players aren't trained in prompter reading so you can see their eyes move back and forth along the lines. Plus the player's aren't lit even HALF well, so there's a whole public-access-city-council-vote-for-me feeling about it. Plus the subtitles are in English and not spanish... so... what happens if you have a deaf spaniard who wants to read the pbp of the game, hmmm...?

The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 03:23 (thirteen years ago) link

nine months pass...
Do they have the anti-smoking commercials with the tracheotomy dude and the brain cancers dude in markets besides NYC? Because they revolt and upset me

Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Saturday, 17 June 2006 02:39 (thirteen years ago) link

silence = death

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 17 June 2006 14:31 (thirteen years ago) link

the chances of me getting any work done tonight are...REMOTE

W i l l (common_person), Sunday, 18 June 2006 17:28 (thirteen years ago) link

tracheotomy dude started out in the Boston market 3 years ago and is apparently so effective that when NYC licensed it they saw 20,000+ extra calls to the anti-smoking line in two weeks ALONE.

but thats not really a baseball thing.

thing thats bugging me and gives extra ammo to the Empire haters are these godawful infoads for Fox News on YES that chew up about a minute. I figured it was unsold ad space until I realized it was a Red Sox game, and thus likely the offspring of some unholy alliance between Steinbrenner and Murdoch.

jinx hijinks (sanskrit), Sunday, 18 June 2006 22:11 (thirteen years ago) link

"hi, i'm peter francis geraci..."

otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 19 June 2006 16:04 (thirteen years ago) link

oh, man...those red roof inn ads are frickin TERRIBLE!

jonathan quayle higgins (j.q. higgins), Monday, 19 June 2006 18:40 (thirteen years ago) link

"It's the G to the I to the N to the O
Gino Da Pinot, Gina Da Pinot"

[that one goes out to LEEE]

Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Monday, 19 June 2006 19:07 (thirteen years ago) link

For a second there, I thought it had gone national.

c(''c) (Leee), Monday, 19 June 2006 22:18 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.125auto.com/tv_commercial.html

Jonathan Papelbon's commercials for some auto dealership in Plaistow, NH. U&K!

d4niel coh3n (dayan), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 17:19 (thirteen years ago) link

otto, can you tell me more about your ((bankruptcy))((info))((tapes))?

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 17:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and David Carr selling HEB meats.
https://heb.com/aboutHEB/media-OnTheAir.jsp

Very high production values, but they are surreal.

also, the classic Phil Rizzuto spots for The Money Store.

patita (patita), Wednesday, 21 June 2006 17:04 (thirteen years ago) link

oh, man...those red roof inn ads are frickin TERRIBLE!

and yet, that one cracked me up long after it should have brought on the rage

W i l l (common_person), Wednesday, 28 June 2006 15:16 (thirteen years ago) link

FOXWOODS!

The one w/ the traveling poker chip that ends up getting cozy w/ a woman's bosom is almost as punchable as the one w/ the Wizard of Oz folks finding John Pizzarelli behind the curtain.

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 28 June 2006 16:01 (thirteen years ago) link

HONEYDEW

we got the world's best coffee!

HONEYDEW

just for you!

we make it right, every day and night, at

HONEYDEW!

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 28 June 2006 16:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Joe Mauer for Land O' Lakes Grab'n'Go milk takes the prize for woodenness. I hope to hell someone YouTubes it soon; he sounds like George Carlin doing the Bummer Land bit.

Stupornaut (natepatrin), Thursday, 29 June 2006 00:57 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...
GAY MAN: "MY WIFE AND I DIDN'T THINK WE COULD AFFORD DENTAL WORK UNTIL WE TRIED SELECT DENTAL."

GAY MAN'S WIFE: "WE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT YEARS AGO!"

Jimmy Mod: THE HANDLESS ORGANIST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 10 September 2006 17:40 (twelve years ago) link

nine months pass...

BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVY BUT THE LEVY WAS DRY!

Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, 16 June 2007 00:20 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Holy shit Sullivan Tire (BOS)

Andy K, Monday, 23 July 2007 23:06 (eleven years ago) link

Are those the ones featuring the wittle girl & Tito Francona, Thespian?

David R., Monday, 23 July 2007 23:41 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

Is the Draught Keg commercial this year's Chevy/Mellencamp aural rapefest?

Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, 22 September 2007 18:22 (eleven years ago) link

two years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq6HBUajwlE

the platinum ownership experience is the difference
the lexus platinum dealer network is the only way to achieve it

where have u gone, lexus platinum lady?

mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 00:58 (eight years ago) link

Well, I've got to believe that this (or some variation thereof--he's got lots of them) has shown up at least once on a Jays broadcast:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSQVVHyvOZU

clemenza, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 02:19 (eight years ago) link

please don't show the americans russel oliver.

got electrolytes (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 04:36 (eight years ago) link

You're in Toronto, right? After the mayoral election, you may be nostalgic for the days when Russell Oliver was our ambassador to the world.

clemenza, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 11:32 (eight years ago) link

holy shit i don't even want to think about it.

got electrolytes (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 13:59 (eight years ago) link

I don't know if this is the place for this gripe, but I hate how every time a Philly batter gets on base (no idea if other local broadcasts also do this), the announcers say, "Chase Utley is safe and secure at second base. Safe and secure. Metlife."

Mordy, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 14:02 (eight years ago) link

Mets have the same spot

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 16:47 (eight years ago) link

so do sox--it's fucking obnoxious

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 16:49 (eight years ago) link

The window-installer ad with the old ladies on SNY is pretty priceless tho

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 17:04 (eight years ago) link

otoh the 2-minute-long, 2-year-old NY Times ad with all the "hipsters" makes me wamma jump out the window

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 17:07 (eight years ago) link

Architect glasses guy: New York Times editorialists are the best in the world, and there's no debating that.

WAY TO SHUT DOWN DISSENT ASSHOLE

sanskrit, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 17:37 (eight years ago) link

have any of you guys seen the commercial featuring the skeezy foreign-seeming dude who tries to sell you totally bogus sports paraphernalia? and at one point he says, "want minnesota?" and he snaps his fingers and two twins appear, one wearing a "mini" shirt and the other wearing a "soda" shirt, and he says, "twins!"

Mordy, Wednesday, 22 September 2010 00:14 (eight years ago) link

six months pass...

not just local, but these Donald Sutherland Delta spots are starting to irritate me

your generation appalls me (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 April 2011 00:55 (eight years ago) link

three years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7DD6R6JrZk

missed u boo

mookieproof, Saturday, 12 April 2014 01:32 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yvDqHyqsuo

mookieproof, Thursday, 4 February 2016 17:25 (three years ago) link

three years pass...

If you were a car dealer in the NY market creating a radio spot for Mets games, why would your script include the phrase "home base"? Maybe let someone who likes baseball read it first?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 May 2019 15:27 (two months ago) link


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