We Means It, Maaaaaan: The Baltimore Orioles of 2021

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A truly anonymous bunch of who-are-theys while we wait for Adley -- but also a lot of young players whose future certainly isn't set in stone. They didn't finish last in 2020. Can they finish not-last again?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 5 April 2021 00:29 (five months ago) link

Starting the season with a commanding 3-game sweep of the Red Sox, who did finish last in 2020, is a good way to start.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 5 April 2021 00:29 (five months ago) link

up to 0.2% now

, Monday, 5 April 2021 03:48 (five months ago) link

at a loss as to why fangraphs thinks the red sox are 15 games better

mookieproof, Monday, 5 April 2021 04:05 (five months ago) link

So you're saying there's a chance

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 5 April 2021 04:08 (five months ago) link

well they've got Bogaerts, Devers, a real catcher, a couple potentially great pitchers returning from injury, and some high upside guys

we just have guys

, Monday, 5 April 2021 04:30 (five months ago) link

weird to see all this outfield depth...not even accounting for positional tweeners.

j.q higgins, Monday, 5 April 2021 13:29 (five months ago) link

If you're gonna get outhit 13-4 it's good to get those hits at the right times

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 8 April 2021 02:56 (five months ago) link

If they blow this

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 17 April 2021 02:36 (five months ago) link

phew

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 17 April 2021 02:40 (five months ago) link

Satisfying win last night, though I can't say it feels like you're watching an almost-.500 team.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 18 April 2021 19:23 (five months ago) link

What if John Means is actually good though?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 18 April 2021 20:29 (five months ago) link

^-- Seriously, what if he is?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 25 April 2021 22:42 (four months ago) link

that's...good. definitely on a hell of a run.

j.q higgins, Monday, 26 April 2021 16:15 (four months ago) link

matt harvey!

mookieproof, Tuesday, 27 April 2021 01:56 (four months ago) link

There are a lot of ways I love to win a ballgame but hilariously bad baserunning by the New York Yankees is right up there among the very best

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 27 April 2021 02:35 (four months ago) link

mullins is 15 for 35 against LHP this year after giving up switch hitting

he was 14 for 111 against LHP trying to bat righty from 2018-2020

, Tuesday, 27 April 2021 02:50 (four months ago) link

mullins is such a great story. like, even he were just to be just average offensively the rest of the season, that's still a really valuable guy to have w/ his defensive skills. him, hays and mckenna would be so fun to watch out there.

j.q higgins, Tuesday, 27 April 2021 10:57 (four months ago) link

Another Mullins GWRBI

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 30 April 2021 03:44 (four months ago) link

i've seen maybe three orioles games this year, which have led me to believe that mullins has a 1.500 OPS

mookieproof, Friday, 30 April 2021 03:51 (four months ago) link

John Means getting a W to kick off May Day is pic.twitter.com/sT6ZkWOwTW

— Lindsay Ballant (@lindsayballant) May 1, 2021

mookieproof, Saturday, 1 May 2021 05:14 (four months ago) link

That so felt like the kind of game we would have given up on and lost 1-0 in recent years. God it would be great if Kremer could pitch this way all the time instead of briefly flashing his ability to do it and then losing track of it for weeks on end.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 14:40 (four months ago) link

too busy arguing with people at work to even know there was a no-hitter going on, would've been the first O's one i'd ever seen

, Wednesday, 5 May 2021 22:55 (four months ago) link

still think we should trade him at the deadline :)

, Wednesday, 5 May 2021 22:55 (four months ago) link

What if John Means is actually good though?

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, April 18, 2021 3:29 PM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

^-- Seriously, what if he is?

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, April 25, 2021 5:42 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 5 May 2021 23:18 (four months ago) link

Sort of sucks that the Orioles are probably going to finish last again while playing authentically kind of respectable baseball, but that's this division, four pretty good teams in here with us.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 11 May 2021 02:14 (four months ago) link

Cedric Mullins is arguably the best runner in the bigs pic.twitter.com/dFUhFa9LsQ

— Clinton Yates (@clintonyates) May 11, 2021

amazing hustle, but I’m not sure how this isn’t a three-base error

k3vin k., Tuesday, 11 May 2021 03:22 (four months ago) link

that is awesome; he rules

mookieproof, Tuesday, 11 May 2021 03:27 (four months ago) link

I am ready for the Means - Mullins - Hunter Harvey - Rutschman era

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 11 May 2021 16:07 (four months ago) link

The bullpen has been pretty good but they are sure trying to waste another great Means start right now

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 02:15 (four months ago) link

What a brutal week. At least we get to play some other bad teams for a couple of series. And at least we had that comeback win against New York.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 21 May 2021 22:24 (four months ago) link

at a loss as to why fangraphs thinks the red sox are 15 games better

― mookieproof, Monday, April 5, 2021 12:05 AM (one month ago)

red sox have been 15 games better just since i wrote this

oops

mookieproof, Wednesday, 26 May 2021 19:59 (three months ago) link

Awesome, so we'll pace them the rest of the season

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 26 May 2021 20:26 (three months ago) link

What the hell happened

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 30 May 2021 15:58 (three months ago) link

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2009/12/04/sports/04orioles_CA0/popup.jpg

getting there...

, Sunday, 30 May 2021 18:10 (three months ago) link

if we get to 0-21 that can only mean good things for next year

, Sunday, 30 May 2021 18:11 (three months ago) link

Smart of SI to crop that picture so you can't see the bottom of the bat handle

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 30 May 2021 18:11 (three months ago) link

on the plus side: adley went 5/6 with HRs from both sides of the plate in bowie's DH

AND the dbacks might actually win a game today. TANK BABY TANK

, Sunday, 30 May 2021 22:27 (three months ago) link

I get that baseball card reference.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 30 May 2021 23:40 (three months ago) link

Thank you I was hoping someone would

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 31 May 2021 00:59 (three months ago) link

I actually have the very much less valuable but still worth a few bucks hasty replacement card, before the properly revised, more common one came out.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 31 May 2021 01:10 (three months ago) link

VICTORY

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 2 June 2021 16:51 (three months ago) link

Orioles June is gonna be lit

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 2 June 2021 16:51 (three months ago) link

3 in a row lol

, Saturday, 5 June 2021 02:20 (three months ago) link

break 'em up.

j.q higgins, Saturday, 5 June 2021 11:13 (three months ago) link

Loving the aggressive baserunning here.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 6 June 2021 18:57 (three months ago) link

Satisfying

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 6 June 2021 20:19 (three months ago) link

mountcastle and santander getting hot make the team a little more tolerable to watch...cedric mullins is a joy, though.

j.q higgins, Monday, 7 June 2021 11:57 (three months ago) link

Nice of the O’s to return the favor tonight. Satisfying.

Michael F Gill, Thursday, 10 June 2021 01:56 (three months ago) link

congrats on beating matt harvey

, Thursday, 10 June 2021 03:56 (three months ago) link

Try being a Keys fan for pain.

Van Halen dot Senate dot flashlight (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 29 June 2021 21:07 (two months ago) link

I like when this team of nobodys and never-weres unloads its frustration on a reliever having a bad night

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 20:18 (two months ago) link

fuck you, have a ramon urias dinger

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 20:18 (two months ago) link

hahaha...do you SEEEE what happens?!

j.q higgins, Thursday, 1 July 2021 00:46 (two months ago) link

the truth is, urias has been hitting decently and pretty consistently in minors/majors since 2018, not a total no-hoper like some of the filler the orioles have been putting in the lineup

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 1 July 2021 12:20 (two months ago) link

but anyway, never mind, we're good now

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 1 July 2021 12:20 (two months ago) link

ho hum, sweeping away the trash.

j.q higgins, Thursday, 1 July 2021 21:44 (two months ago) link

Why are they doing this to me

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 4 July 2021 23:11 (two months ago) link

colton cowser is not a real person.

j.q higgins, Monday, 12 July 2021 11:15 (two months ago) link

Crisp game today, Matt Harvey had a good start, advantage was taken of defensive lapses

The "5th inning is here time for Jorge Lopez to give up some runs" thing is just getting silly now

Urias hitting .349 for July

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 19 July 2021 01:20 (two months ago) link

Urias with the GWRBI today to complete the sweep of the cross-town Nats, McKenna, porous of bat but fleet of foot, comes scampering home from third on Ramon's groundout to notch the game-winner and the Orioles win after being down in the 9th for, I think, the very first time in 2021?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 25 July 2021 23:10 (one month ago) link

i like your patter, chief, but porous of bat? and cross-town is a stretch

mookieproof, Sunday, 25 July 2021 23:38 (one month ago) link

cross-metropolitan-statistical-area work for you, hoss?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 25 July 2021 23:46 (one month ago) link

needs references to the parkway and its bricks, critter

mookieproof, Monday, 26 July 2021 03:08 (one month ago) link

Gotta love the walkoff walk courtesy of Ryan "porous bat" McKenna

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 29 July 2021 03:13 (one month ago) link

This team can't win without almost losing

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, June 29, 2021 9:30 AM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

Entered the bottom of the ninth, promptly let the Tigers load the bases with nobody out, still won

Oh yeah:

The bullpen has been pretty good but they are sure trying to waste another great Means start right now

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, May 11, 2021 9:15 PM (two months ago) bookmarkflaglink

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 1 August 2021 02:30 (one month ago) link

asdhklhfajkshlgwjhi

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 8 August 2021 20:22 (one month ago) link

this just in: adley rutshcman is good. colton cowser is real and cannot be contained by the florida coast league. grayson rodriguez is the truth.

j.q higgins, Wednesday, 11 August 2021 13:27 (one month ago) link

Chris Davis has announced his retirement. pic.twitter.com/3QKvErwTzn

— Baltimore Orioles (@Orioles) August 12, 2021

Piven After Midnight (The Yellow Kid), Thursday, 12 August 2021 16:09 (one month ago) link

it is a crime that rutschman was in double-a until five days ago (and that grayson rodriguez is still there)

presumably with september rosters only expanding to 28, there'll somehow be no room for rutschman then, either

joke organization/league

mookieproof, Monday, 16 August 2021 22:50 (one month ago) link

the best reason i've heard for keeping him down is that anyone on a 40-man will be locked out for at least part of 2022 (probably), and it makes more sense to have your big prospects getting reps in AAA than sitting at home.

also if he was brought up it would make the team better when we're only 1.5 back of the dbacks and i WANT THAT PICK IT'S ALL I HAVE TO LIVE FOR

, Monday, 16 August 2021 23:34 (one month ago) link

What, so you can once again have the thrill of hearing analysis say "weird, I thought that guy would go at 10-12, must have something to do with underslot issues"

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 16 August 2021 23:59 (one month ago) link

As Matt Harvey turns back into Matt Harvey.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 17 August 2021 00:32 (one month ago) link

What, so you can once again have the thrill of hearing analysis say "weird, I thought that guy would go at 10-12, must have something to do with underslot issues"

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, August 16, 2021 7:59 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

they took adley at 1, i have faith they'd do it again if there's an undeniable player there, and by all accounts there will be

, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 01:30 (one month ago) link

adley is a college guy and now 23 years old; when they drafted him in 2019 *lots* of ppl were all like 'he could play for the big league team right now'. he didn't really hit like it that summer, okay.

so now he's spent 2020 at the alternate site. and he's put up a .400 OPB in the minors this year. and admittedly pedro severino is eminently serviceable and practically a star in this lineup.

but the team is terrible and adley -- tHe ToP pRoSpEcT iN bAsEbAlL -- is learning *nothing* in the minors while the o's stall his clock. maybe he'll get there next april 16th when he's 24 i guess.

with a different, less shitty team he'd have been in the majors a year ago, and there's no reason we shouldn't all want that.

mookieproof, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 03:08 (one month ago) link

rodriguez is only 21 but he's fanning like 15 per nine innings now in double-a. can he possibly be worse than the shit they regularly roll out? do we not want to see the best available players playing in the majors?

also sucks for cedric that he's not even eligible for arbitration until after *next* year -- he'll probably get a $10K raise to $600K after putting up 5 WAR this season. (and if he were eligible for arbitration *this* winter you know goddamn well he'd have been traded at the deadline)

mookieproof, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 03:16 (one month ago) link

anyway sorry -- the o's are just the most egregious current example of how fucked up the entire system is. the pirates/marlins/etc are little better if perhaps less blatant.

i really hope it all burns down this winter!

mookieproof, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 03:21 (one month ago) link

Seriously, fuck this

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 19 August 2021 20:44 (one month ago) link

Why Not? '22

, Thursday, 19 August 2021 22:58 (one month ago) link

two homers off ohtani in the first!!!1!

mookieproof, Wednesday, 25 August 2021 23:25 (three weeks ago) link

won a game

, Thursday, 26 August 2021 02:34 (three weeks ago) link

what a moment

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 August 2021 03:09 (three weeks ago) link

break em up

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 August 2021 23:27 (three weeks ago) link

love this team again now

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 26 August 2021 23:39 (three weeks ago) link

as cedric mullins goes, so go the orioles...but keegan akin w/ the out of the blue gem. what? 71 gamescore!

j.q higgins, Friday, 27 August 2021 14:31 (three weeks ago) link

lol wasn’t he like 0-9 with an 8 ERA or something

Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 August 2021 15:50 (three weeks ago) link

Keegan Akin's last three starts: 17 IP, 5ER, 10H, 8BB, 14K, lift your head and breathe the fresh replacement-level air

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 1 September 2021 02:35 (two weeks ago) link

aww

mookieproof, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 02:45 (two weeks ago) link

with two w's for Keegans two wins (so far!)

Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 3 September 2021 02:43 (two weeks ago) link

...and a happy john means to all who celebrate

j.q higgins, Saturday, 4 September 2021 00:18 (two weeks ago) link

big series win in da bronx

mookieproof, Sunday, 5 September 2021 21:31 (two weeks ago) link

Keegan Akin Can't Lose

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 5 September 2021 22:34 (two weeks ago) link

akin to be

j.q higgins, Monday, 6 September 2021 15:55 (two weeks ago) link

you gotta hand it to hanser alberto

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 6 September 2021 18:31 (two weeks ago) link

but then hanser is compelled to hand it back to cedric mullins

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 6 September 2021 18:43 (two weeks ago) link

"zac lowther with a great outing lowers his season ERA to 6.91" is a thing Orioles fans say

Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, 6 September 2021 19:08 (two weeks ago) link

Manny Barreda gets his moment

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 9 September 2021 04:52 (one week ago) link

what a day

, Sunday, 12 September 2021 02:40 (one week ago) link

what a day

, Sunday, 12 September 2021 20:47 (one week ago) link

"zac lowther with a rough outing sees his season ERA tick back up to 9.92" is a thing Orioles fans say

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 12 September 2021 20:52 (one week ago) link


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