Willie McGee is part of the 2018 St Louis Cardinals

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is it kind of weird that i'm most excited about the new coaching staff? willie fucking mcgee is part of this team now. jose oquendo is back. chris carpenter is back and ready to yell fuck. ozzie smith is finally beginning to get over tony larussa. mike maddux is the new pitching coach, replacing the guy who stares blankly while mike matheny calls on matt bowman for his 114th high leverage appearance of the season.

lynn is gone, mikolas replaces him and no one has any idea how good he'll be. projections are fairly high on a guy who hasn't ever had success in MLB and has been pitching overseas since 2015. alex reyes is In The Best Shape Of His Life and his replacement arm from Dr Andrews should arrive in the mail around early May. he might end up replacing wainwright, whose best case scenario is making a heroic relief pitching appearance in the playoffs and then retiring. carlos martinez continues to be the best thing about the team.

jose martinez is fun too, and if matt carpenter's back continues to flare up (it's happening already in spring training) he may end up getting a lot of playing time at 1B (please no luke voit, please). i haven't watched ozuna play that much. i hope that i like him. i have reasonable expectations for him, but i'm cautiously optimistic that he can put up at least one great (>4 WAR) season during his stint here. tommy pham is no fluke, and i'm looking forward to seeing what he can do in a full season. i'm also terrified that he'll get injured, like he has been almost every year except for 2017.

pre-season predictions are kind of silly because a team's final record depends so much on whether the front office decides to go for it or fold at mid-season. but i think they're capable of putting up 95 wins. if things go bad, they could be around 80 wins. i'd guess they end up around 87 or 88, hopefully enough to barely slide into the wild card.

i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Thursday, 22 February 2018 23:11 (four years ago) link

best thread title

mookieproof, Thursday, 22 February 2018 23:58 (four years ago) link

Was thinking something like “How ‘zuna is now?”

Outfield is better.
Infield is same.
Starters I’d bet shakes out even.
Bullpen is worse.

Treading water unless Reyes magically comes back at 100%.

bnw, Friday, 23 February 2018 03:59 (four years ago) link

i know cubs are the faves but i can see another tight season between the cubs/brewers/cardinals, like last year

na (NA), Friday, 23 February 2018 15:48 (four years ago) link

does Willie still look like E.T.? (popular observation by Howard Cosell during '82 WS)

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Friday, 23 February 2018 16:10 (four years ago) link


he's hanging in there! just heard a story on a broadcast that he was only tossed out of one game in his pro career, and that was in the minor leagues (after throwing a helmet in frustration) and he vowed to never let it happen again.

i know cubs are the faves but i can see another tight season between the cubs/brewers/cardinals, like last year
it's definitely possible, but i'd guess the cubs will only get tangled up in that if they have another slightly underwhelming year (obv they were good last year, just not as good as most people thought they'd be). i'd be pretty happy if the cardinals can split the season series with the cubs this year. but the brewers seem like the more imminent threat to the cardinals chances to snag a WC spot.

Outfield is better.
Infield is same.
Starters I’d bet shakes out even.
Bullpen is worse.

Treading water unless Reyes magically comes back at 100%.

i pretty much agree with all of that, except i think the bullpen might actually be better. i kind of agree with the strategy of countering the volatility of relief pitchers by building a deep bullpen with many options (https://www.vivaelbirdos.com/2017/10/25/16524650/the-cardinals-should-build-a-bullpen-through-quantity-not-quality). last year's group seemed kind of top heavy, and when those options disappointed (oh all season, and cecil in the first half) the team was just kind of fucked (until rosenthal stepped it up, RIP). but i feel pretty good about starting off with gregerson, lyons, cecil, leone, and then supplementing with the surplus of guys on the cusp as the season progresses (reyes, as he eases back into playing time, guys like helsley, hicks, etc).

i don't know. all of that depth is countered by the matheny factor, which will hopefully be at least somewhat countered by the maddux factor.

i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Friday, 23 February 2018 19:38 (four years ago) link


the determination you've come to expect from the 2018 willie mcgees.

it would be bad if he made the team, performance-wise, but i root for him all the same.

i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Monday, 26 February 2018 23:36 (four years ago) link

breaking: bernard gilkey is also on the coaching staff, at least in spring training

i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Friday, 2 March 2018 18:41 (four years ago) link

now all they need is mark whiten

mookieproof, Friday, 2 March 2018 20:33 (four years ago) link

i think i might like rick ankiel more than ricky horton, as a broadcaster? he's just doing guest color commentary on this game (and one earlier this week), and i'm not sure he's been considered as anything full-time. but he's pretty good at it already, for a beginner, and i imagine he would just get better. he has a natural grasp for the cadence of color commentary - when to shut up, when to talk. just the sound of his voice is good for tv. he has a sort of interesting twang that's hard to nail down but easy to listen to. he says interesting things and his little jokes are actually kinda funny, usually.

he just fucked up now, a little, by starting to discuss a strikeout sequence just as they were headed to break. but even then, he caught it and stopped himself short with a "...he's just dominatin' "

this kid has skills.

also he seems to be more knowledgeable about the game than horton (and by extension, hrabosky, who is kind of turning into a joke). example: just about a week ago ricky horton seemed to think he was really bold in saying that the astros "have a chance" of being good for the next few years. uuuh yeah, usually young teams that win 100 games and still have a top 10 farm system are predicted to be pretty good for a while. anyway, but just now they were talking about kyle tucker and ankiel kind of offhandedly mentioned that tucker would be starting for some teams, but the astros have excellent depth so he'll have time to develop. nothing groundbreaking, but a basic bit of understanding about the other team that the other announcers rarely seem bothered to mention, if they're even aware.

and in my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine♪♫ (Karl Malone), Saturday, 10 March 2018 00:53 (four years ago) link

also - he has an ohtani-like advantage because he was an amazing pitcher AND a MLB-worthy hitter and genuine threat for a couple years, with that really unique, swing for the fences final season when he struck out 44% of the time but with an .ISO of .234. there aren't too many people who have a view on the game like him.

and in my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine♪♫ (Karl Malone), Saturday, 10 March 2018 00:59 (four years ago) link

Lance Lynn is dad. Miles Mikolas is stepdad.

Karl Malone, Monday, 12 March 2018 17:21 (four years ago) link

yadi went 4/4 with 2 HRs and a double today, and the double bounced off the very top of the outfield wall. he also picked a guy off first.

Karl Malone, Friday, 16 March 2018 19:26 (four years ago) link

jordan hicks made the roster(!)

he has not pitched above high A

mookieproof, Tuesday, 27 March 2018 21:43 (four years ago) link

He’s good! My guess is that as soon as wainwright or gregorson some back from the DL he’ll be first back down

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 28 March 2018 02:31 (four years ago) link

early season fun: matt carpenter probably has no business playing 3B (bad arm) or 2B (horrible range), but he'll keep doing it because jose martinez is the best hitter on the team right now and 1B is pretty much the only place he can play (he can technically play corner OF but it's pretty ugly).

also apparently ozuna's right arm has been bothering him since last fall and throughout spring training, and already yesterday there was an Outfielder who can't throw Situation where a ball hit to Ozuna in LF in a sac fly situation was awkwardly handled by Tommy Pham in CF, presumably because Ozuna couldn't throw home with authority.

Karl Malone, Sunday, 1 April 2018 17:33 (four years ago) link

How hot is Dominique Leone in person?

mookieproof, Wednesday, 4 April 2018 03:04 (four years ago) link

That was a wild game. I’m happy and sad to have seen it in person! First game that started and ended with back to back HRs (and on consecutive pitches each time too.)(and the CF and RF hit them for each team?)

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 4 April 2018 04:02 (four years ago) link

btw https://www.si.com/mlb/2018/04/02/tommy-pham-st-louis-cardinals

mookieproof, Wednesday, 4 April 2018 14:11 (four years ago) link

Call hurts #STLCards
Ball 1 should be strike 2
Top 2 Wacha vs Marte
0% call same
11.4in from edge pic.twitter.com/MbQ8i8f9uW

— Cards Strike Zone (@CardinalsUmp) April 7, 2018

Karl Malone, Sunday, 8 April 2018 07:56 (four years ago) link


— VanHickslestein (@VanHicklestein) April 7, 2018

Karl Malone, Sunday, 8 April 2018 07:56 (four years ago) link

Combination of terrible framing by the catcher and the pitcher completely missing his target, but yeah...

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Sunday, 8 April 2018 12:36 (four years ago) link


Karl Malone, Tuesday, 10 April 2018 17:44 (four years ago) link


I may have said this before but: I was an eleven-year-old St. Louisan in 1982. Literally the ONLY sports allegiance I have is to the Cardinals of that era (McGee, Ozzie/Lonnie, Hernandez, Whitey, Sutter, heck, even Andujar). Makes me so happy to see that any of those names are still relevant.

like hell, but with more ketchup (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 10 April 2018 17:58 (four years ago) link

let's give it up for tommy herr too, he doesn't get remembered enough. the 1987 team is the literally the first one i remember (i was 4 then, and i just knew ozzie), but my grandpa had an ozzie smith defense instructional VHS that i used to constantly watch, and part of the tape (the best part) was a highlight reel of all his greatest plays and somehow i absorbed the key players of 1982 through that.

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 10 April 2018 18:05 (four years ago) link

tidbits i had to tune it to the cubs' broadcast to learn (i cannot tolerate jim edmonds in the booth any longer):

jose martinez' dad was carlos martinez, former MLB player. i knew that, but didn't realize that

1) carlos martinez was the poorly performing white sox first basemen when Frank Thomas rolled into town
2) the following year ('91), carlos martinez ended up as the backup to jim thome in cleveland
and most importantly, 3) carlos martinez was the guy who hit the home run that bounced off of jose canseco's head

Karl Malone, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:35 (four years ago) link

tyler o'neill: good socks

mookieproof, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:51 (four years ago) link

son of a famous body builder, too!
and he's canadian! (speaking of which, this is kind of nowhere but what happened to brett lawrie? last played in 2016, played above replacement level, still only 28?)

Karl Malone, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:57 (four years ago) link

head case: https://jaysjournal.com/2018/02/22/blue-jays-sad-story-brett-lawrie

mookieproof, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:23 (four years ago) link

oh. jeez, i had no idea. he seems very lost.

Karl Malone, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:00 (four years ago) link

Mets are done with the Cards this year, can't say I'm sad.

Tommy Pham has 9 career WAR in less than two complete seasons of playing time. Where the hell do the Cardinals find these guys?

Jay Jaffe:
The Cardinals have a great organization, but it also took them until he was 29 to give him 200 PA in a season.

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 April 2018 16:05 (four years ago) link

that's true, but he was also injured all the goddamn time as he was working his way through the minors. he missed almost all of the 2011 and 2012 to injuries, played poorly in AAA in 2013, and then suffered through a string of more minor injuries in 2014-2016. he played well in a bench role in 2015, but then in 2016 he was barely above average (albeit dealing with injuries again). 2017 was a breakout year for him, but it was also a rare season where he was healthy most of the time.

Karl Malone, Friday, 27 April 2018 16:16 (four years ago) link

He should stop stabbing himself in the face tbqh.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 27 April 2018 16:38 (four years ago) link

i love that he invented some sort of elastic-band-based custom training tool that is also capable of making his head bleed

Karl Malone, Friday, 27 April 2018 16:39 (four years ago) link

Where the hell do the Cardinals find these guys?

the real Cardinals Devil Magic story is Jose Martinez, i think. my co-favorite player (with carlos).

Karl Malone, Friday, 27 April 2018 16:41 (four years ago) link

saw rany j being very salty about how the royals just sold him to the cardinals two years ago, didn't even get a player in return

can't seem to find out how much money they got, probably because it would be insulting as hell

mookieproof, Friday, 27 April 2018 18:16 (four years ago) link

i don't really blame matheny for doing it -- it worked! -- but i also don't want to see him use four damn pitchers in a single inning

mookieproof, Saturday, 28 April 2018 02:23 (four years ago) link

greg holland - A Proven Closer

Karl Malone, Saturday, 28 April 2018 02:48 (four years ago) link

we are the goon squad and we're coming to town
beep beep


beep beep

Karl Malone, Saturday, 28 April 2018 20:19 (four years ago) link

dan mclaughlin has been talking about Kingham's perfect game chances since the 4th inning

Karl Malone, Sunday, 29 April 2018 18:54 (four years ago) link

Jose Martinez compared Carlos Martinez’s slow home run trot around the bases to Yoenis Cespedes, a comparison that’s strikingly accurate.

According to Statcast, it takes Cespedes 27.4 seconds, on average, to circle the bases.

Carlos took 27.9 seconds.

— Joe Trezza (@JoeTrezz) May 2, 2018

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 21:44 (four years ago) link

mike matheny just used carlos martinez as a pinch hitter in the 6th inning. jedd gyorko is still on the bench.

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Saturday, 5 May 2018 20:25 (four years ago) link

well, yadi's balls exploded, he's out for 4+ weeks. i've always wondered how carson kelly would do with playing time, guess we're about to find out.

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Sunday, 6 May 2018 15:24 (four years ago) link

damn, the gif of that is hard to watch and hard to stop watching. his junk ripples

WilliamC, Sunday, 6 May 2018 15:36 (four years ago) link

doesn't help that it was a foul tip off of a ~100 mph jordan hicks fastball

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Sunday, 6 May 2018 15:46 (four years ago) link

doesn't help that he wasn't wearing a cup either, lolwtf

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Sunday, 6 May 2018 15:52 (four years ago) link

that's what i thought, too! has it been confirmed? i mean, it looks like he wasn't. but...shit, i wore a cup when i played catcher in my 10-12 year old league and no one could throw over 70 mph

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Sunday, 6 May 2018 15:58 (four years ago) link

greg holland's revenge

mookieproof, Monday, 3 September 2018 23:11 (three years ago) link

it was a stupid game. baseball is a stupid game

Karl Malone, Monday, 3 September 2018 23:14 (three years ago) link

part of me thinks carpenter embraces this hashtag because it could eventually lead to a lucrative new salsa company

well, that didn't take long

Hey @MattCarp13! We get it! Bueno Mojo Salsa available 9/13 at our St. Louis stores. #ItsGottaBeTheSalsa #SchnucksMojo #Schnucks @Cardinals 🍅🌶🔥🛒 pic.twitter.com/BwXAohu9lT

— Schnucks (@SchnuckMarkets) September 10, 2018

Karl Malone, Monday, 10 September 2018 16:57 (three years ago) link

4 losses in a row = drop out of WC2 slot

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 15 September 2018 23:44 (three years ago) link

the rest of the season features 7 more games against the dodgers, cubs, and brewers, so for better or worse they'll have a decent opportunity to earn it.

news broke earlier today that they offered flaherty and another player for donaldson, last off-season. glad that didn't work out!

Karl Malone, Saturday, 15 September 2018 23:50 (three years ago) link

i hope i eat my words later tonight, but my stomach is already in a knot about this wainwright situation. he's starting tonight in a crucial game against the dodgers, still in the rotation, after an awful comeback start last week. watching that game was excruciating.

it started with an inning of the best velocity and movement i've seen from him since early 2017, which of course got me really excited about the possibility that his rehab actually worked and he was going to be useful down the stretch. a wonderful capstone to a great career. this was quickly followed by a nightmarish beatdown that should have been much worse, coupled with a 6-mph drop in velocity on his fastball, hanging many curves in the middle of the zone, and an ill-advised decision to send him back out for one more inning, which featured the same worrisome velocity and hanging curves. but no one scored in that last inning, somehow, and then the offense saved the day so that he didn't get the all-important Loss. immediately afterward they announced he would remain in the rotation. a very matheny-esque decision imo. it could get ugly out there.

Karl Malone, Sunday, 16 September 2018 16:11 (three years ago) link

especially frustrating because he could be legitimately useful in the bullpen right now.

Karl Malone, Sunday, 16 September 2018 16:13 (three years ago) link

Game score 75!

timellison, Monday, 17 September 2018 04:14 (three years ago) link

i am a genius

Karl Malone, Monday, 17 September 2018 04:22 (three years ago) link

*eats words*

that was ~vintage wainwright~, it really was. if nothing else i'm really happy i was able to sit down and see it tonight, even if i'm not sure it'll ever happen again

Karl Malone, Monday, 17 September 2018 04:23 (three years ago) link

Gomber has missed several possible called strikes tonight because he and Molina are not entirely on the same page and YM has to lunge around a bit.

WmC, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 00:33 (three years ago) link

yeah, on the Sunday Night Baseball game the announcers were raving about his pitchframing abilities, but to my eye they haven't been particularly outstanding of late (not sure what the metrics are (or how reliable said metrics are))

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 19 September 2018 01:25 (three years ago) link

if y'all can sweep the Cubs I will proudly wear a "best fans in baseball" t-shirt

frogbs, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:25 (three years ago) link

it's remarkable how much more i like the cardinals when they're not managed by TLR or matheny. and even more so if they don't bring bud norris back next year

mookieproof, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:32 (three years ago) link

i'd like 'em more without Molina but that's probably just sour grapes because he has an OPS of like 2.500 against Milwaukee

frogbs, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:32 (three years ago) link

fact check: false

molina has hit .263/.324/.409 against milwaukee, and in fact has a higher OPS against all the other NL central teams

but yeah, i don't like him either

mookieproof, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:38 (three years ago) link

oh then I was just talking about the games I watch

can you check that

frogbs, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:41 (three years ago) link

(actually he has hit pretty well at miller park)

mookieproof, Friday, 28 September 2018 18:46 (three years ago) link

Let me check my files...

Looks like his OPS is 1.836 when I truly, truly believe in him as I cheer him on

Karl Malone, Friday, 28 September 2018 21:22 (three years ago) link

RIP cardinals, btw. I just saw the score of today’s game with the cubs.

Karl Malone, Friday, 28 September 2018 21:43 (three years ago) link

how about this miles mikolas kid

cinderella story out of japan, throws 200 innings, goes 18-4 . . . and all without striking out a single batter

mookieproof, Saturday, 29 September 2018 20:08 (three years ago) link

viva el clemente bridge

mookieproof, Thursday, 4 October 2018 01:37 (three years ago) link

according to some admittedly dubious math and a lot of assumptions, the guy who threw the baseball back after stanton's HR throws harder than marcell ozuna


Karl Malone, Saturday, 6 October 2018 16:33 (three years ago) link

Oquendo will remain in the organization, working out of Jupiter. https://t.co/Op4JYzxbr8

— Jenifer Langosch (@LangoschMLB) October 16, 2018


1-800-CALL-ATT (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 16 October 2018 16:58 (three years ago) link

Yadier Molina has been named the recipient of the prestigious 2018 Roberto Clemente Award in recognition of his exemplary humanitarian efforts, including relief work in Puerto Rico following Hurricane Maria in 2017. #STLCards pic.twitter.com/vOo6SWUxBT

— St. Louis Cardinals (@Cardinals) October 24, 2018

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 19:12 (three years ago) link

good, bcz the Mets' nominee was Jose Reyes

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 21:36 (three years ago) link

willie turned 60 on friday and i am ashamed to have forgotten until now

mookieproof, Monday, 5 November 2018 20:10 (three years ago) link

one year passes...

Karl Malone has to get a Joe Posnanski subscription so he can read this and have several meltdowns.


clemenza, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 20:17 (two years ago) link


i am very curious!i do think matheny might have been an excellent 20th century baseball manager

at home in the alternate future, (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 20:20 (two years ago) link

When Posnanski moved to The Athletic, I remember him saying he didn't mind if subscribers occasionally re-posted something, so here's the Matheny piece on a Google Doc:


clemenza, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 23:50 (two years ago) link

Just read it...Good bookend to Hinch/Cole.

clemenza, Wednesday, 6 November 2019 05:12 (two years ago) link

Thanks for posting that. I can see matheny sticking around KC for a while, but he seems to be particularly ill-suited to an up and coming team of prospects. In STL he was known for favoring poor-performing veterans for years at a time while providing inconsistent playing time to the prospects underneath. Maybe that won’t be such an issue in KC.

at home in the alternate future, (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 15:02 (two years ago) link

eleven months pass...

happy willie mcgee's birthday, everyone

mookieproof, Monday, 2 November 2020 15:28 (one year ago) link

happy willie mcgee's birthday. he's 62, today.


just another 3-pinnochio post by (Karl Malone), Monday, 2 November 2020 16:12 (one year ago) link

MC Gee is on the mic tonight

just another 3-pinnochio post by (Karl Malone), Monday, 2 November 2020 16:13 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

not sure what other teams were covered under fox sports midwest, but it's now sinclair_gambling.jpg(tm)


Fox Sports Midwest (along with most other RSNs acquired by Sinclair) will be renamed some permutation of Bally Sports, thanks to a deal with gaming and casino giant Bally’s Corporation.

Sinclair President and CEO Chris Ripley promised more integration of sports betting into the broadcasts, in an effort to “gamify sports.” That may involve some new technology for viewers to place bets via the TV or app they are watching on. But even without some new technology, if betters are watching the game and placing bets on their mobile apps - and they are - if Bally’s can drive those fans to bet via their book rather than DraftKings or William Hill or someone else, that’s a money-maker.

The silver lining for Cardinals fans is that this deal aims to provide more options for you to watch the games. Ripley also announced a plan to offer a standalone subscription for RSNs in their given territories. In other words, you will be able to subscribe to just Bally Sports Midwest (or whatever it’s called). Ripley promised this was being developed aggressively and would launch next year, though it is not clear if that will happen before Opening Day.

My guess is this will come in the form of a Bally Sports Midwest App, likely available on all your mobile devices, AppleTV and Roku, etc. And yes, I would expect that while you are streaming the game on your Bally’s Sports Midwest App, you can get some action on the Jack Flaherty strikeout prop.

(stupid URL)

Karl Malone, Friday, 27 November 2020 01:30 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

missed this, 6 years ago, but it's great:


...When he got to the plate, he looked like he had just been beaten by angry people with truncheons, a crouched, stiff figure who didn't swing a bat so much as he threw it at the ball hoping for something to happen. It was a half-swing, really, the kind you'd take if an old war injury had left you with half a shoulder joint and shards of depleted uranium in your knees. He leaned backward waiting for pitches like a 75 mile an hour gale was blowing in his face. He looked, in the words of his teammate John Morris, like he "was in a lot of pain, and having a miserable time."

That sounds bad, but it got worse. At one point, provided McGee threw the bat and it made contact with the ball, there was a point where Willie McGee, all pained face and salvage-grade joints, had to begin moving like a human. Once he turned and got over the shock of hitting the ball-- and no matter the situation, McGee always looked shocked he'd made contact -- McGee would lurch forward and begin running on the balls of his feet, always at a ridiculously pitched angle like he had an invisible drag chute bolted directly to his shoulder blades.

It looked fast in motion, but let's specify what kind of fast. There is the fast of a Usain Bolt, the kind of effortless, long-striding speed, and there is the bull-strong intimidation of a Lamborghini you get when someone with giant traps can also run a 4.4 second 40 yard dash. (Think Bo Jackson in his prime.) Then there is the kind of fast that terrifies you for all the wrong reasons, like when a toddler in a grocery cart gets loose and begins rolling downhill in a busy parking lot. That is the kind of speed Willie McGee had: something that once in motion begs for a merciful stop, and the immediate intervention of safety authorities.

You may like an athlete because they happen to be very good at what they do. You won't love them for this, though, or at least not without combining it with other variables that make them unique. There were players as good as Willie McGee, but none were as entertaining to watch based strictly on quirk and the apparent misery that every step caused him. That misery was only part of it, though. McGee chose the odd set of options in life in every facet of the game, a switch hitter who looked equally strange from either side of the plate, a superb center fielder prone to rare but grandiose mistakes in the field, and a man who could not take a baseball card portrait without looking like you had just:

a.) bought him the most adorable rabbit in all the world

b.) made it his only and best friend

c.) slaughtered this rabbit in front of his horrified eyes

d.) put a bat in his hand, and pointed him toward the DonRuss artist while tapping at your watch

It's easy to explain why you love a conventionally excellent player, but way, way more fun to try and explain the appeal of a top-flight athlete whose every step and twitch appeared to be bringing him dangerously close to death itself. You had this guy, St. Louis, and he was awesome and everything, but every time he hit a triple he'd pop up and have the saddest look on his face like everything he loved had died, and left him with the soul of an ancient, sad, and immortal Golem. It was like watching Buster Keaton play centerfield, and he was like that every time he played.

Karl Malone, Friday, 25 December 2020 19:01 (one year ago) link

That’s great.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 26 December 2020 04:05 (one year ago) link

i've come to the conclusion that he is my third-favorite ballplayer of all time

the two ahead of him either shared my surname or gave me a childhood lesson in decency, and both played for my home team.

willie mcgee is just a guy who was really good at baseball, and completely took over game four of the 1982 world series, and fucking look at him. <3

mookieproof, Saturday, 26 December 2020 04:15 (one year ago) link

Mookie Wilson and ???

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 26 December 2020 04:31 (one year ago) link


dave parker & willie stargell

mookieproof, Saturday, 26 December 2020 04:34 (one year ago) link

I was close!

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 26 December 2020 04:38 (one year ago) link

Wild guess:

Parker = surname
Stargell = decency

clemenza, Saturday, 26 December 2020 19:21 (one year ago) link

Obviously, Mookieproof’s real name is Cobra.

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 26 December 2020 21:33 (one year ago) link

ten months pass...

willie mcgee is 63 today <3


mookieproof, Tuesday, 2 November 2021 05:56 (nine months ago) link

eight months pass...

From Goldschmidt's Baseball Reference page:

Nicknames: Goldy or America's First Baseman

Really? Someone somewhere has actually called him "America's First Baseman"?

clemenza, Friday, 29 July 2022 20:40 (three weeks ago) link

i called him that, but the full quote is "america's first basemen in being a moran"

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 29 July 2022 23:25 (three weeks ago) link

Hes America's first basemen because he isn't allowed anywhere else

, Saturday, 30 July 2022 00:01 (two weeks ago) link

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