important baseball tweets

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mookieproof, Saturday, 15 August 2015 01:42 (six years ago) link

@BarryBonds
How about that @AROD go-ahead grand slam last night? #Clutch

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:12 (six years ago) link

hahaha

Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 19:14 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/billshaikin/status/641481111156035584

mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 05:28 (six years ago) link

so chill

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 11:11 (six years ago) link

@MarcCarig
Juan Uribe just offered me a wad of chew soaked in Kahlua and honey. I tell Juan Uribe I'm working. Juan Uribe yells "JUST A LITTLE BIT!!!"

mookieproof, Friday, 18 September 2015 20:15 (six years ago) link

@Marlins
A note: @MarlinsPark concession stands are all out of Pepsi Perfect. All other Pepsi products are available. Apologies for the inconvenience

Make alternate plans.

Andy K, Friday, 25 September 2015 22:44 (five years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CQ5Z7jBUcAAxrbM.png

mookieproof, Friday, 9 October 2015 18:58 (five years ago) link

four weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/CMBaseball41/status/662729655208685572

mookieproof, Friday, 6 November 2015 20:43 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/2RotSIZ.png

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 16:44 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/O9dkQBR.png

mookieproof, Friday, 8 January 2016 18:50 (five years ago) link

that's cueto hoss you got there

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 January 2016 15:15 (five years ago) link

#ad

Will v. Maim (Will M.), Saturday, 23 January 2016 20:39 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/AlexPavlovic/status/698580094843883520

lute bro (brimstead), Saturday, 13 February 2016 22:02 (five years ago) link

@pedromoura
Dave Roberts and White Sox manager Robin Ventura took a picture together at Cactus League media day. “Black man and Robin,” Roberts said.

mookieproof, Monday, 22 February 2016 22:51 (five years ago) link

https://twitter.com/pabloozuna38/status/705057945890004992

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:59 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/TonyLaRussa/status/712716335780728832

mookieproof, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 19:04 (five years ago) link

four weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/RKe7IDn.png

mookieproof, Friday, 22 April 2016 15:01 (five years ago) link

that is brilliant.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 22 April 2016 19:25 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/XGT4zlB.png

mookieproof, Wednesday, 27 April 2016 21:38 (five years ago) link

dan haren @ithrow88
@JArrieta34 saw you gave up a run, hang in there. Thinking of you.

mookieproof, Thursday, 28 April 2016 22:10 (five years ago) link

https://www.instagram.com/p/BE_2mY4Q6jg

mookieproof, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 19:54 (five years ago) link

#PuigNotScared

mookieproof, Friday, 6 May 2016 18:43 (five years ago) link

@LennyDykstra
Oh so this is Twitter? I can say whatever the fuck I want right?

right on time

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:54 (five years ago) link

lmk when he tweets himself out of the '86 Mets reunion on the 28th

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:56 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...
three weeks pass...

@JoseCanseco
Make no mistake Brexit will crater the UK into recession and the pound will do a 25% faceplant. Capital will flee like its pants are on fire

mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 19:58 (five years ago) link

obv an Economist reader

helpless before THRILLARY (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:31 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/JsojfGq.png

mookieproof, Friday, 26 August 2016 00:57 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/keithlaw/status/776895750810767360

mookieproof, Friday, 16 September 2016 21:31 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

@darrenrovell
Andrew Miller says he hasn't washed his jock strap since his last bad outing on Sept. 7. That's 18 appearances and 51 days (H/T @BenReiter)

mookieproof, Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:32 (four years ago) link

In unrelated news, Upper Deck is coming out with a limited edition Smell-o-vision series of cards featuring game used baseball equipment! Can't wait to check that out

I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:56 (four years ago) link

I know two of the people featured in here: http://mashable.com/2016/10/28/mike-napoli-pooping-game-3

GUNSHOW POOPHOLE (Phil D.), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:57 (four years ago) link

Sad that A's deleted their tweets as I fully support all the SmashMouth bashing.

http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/page/QTP_161029SmashMouth/twitter-feud-oakland-athletics-smash-mouth-ensues-following-coco-crisp-world-series-hit

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 October 2016 00:26 (four years ago) link

https://twitter.com/Noahsyndergaard/status/797100165110730752

mookieproof, Friday, 11 November 2016 15:37 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

this is an apostrophe

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 21:02 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

Motivational speaker and author Aubrey Huff took to Twitter.

@aubrey_huff
I mean seriously what the hell is going on? If you have time 2 march, protest and riot. Maybe it's time for something called a job!

@jeffcdwyer
You swung a stick at a ball for a living. Fuck off.

@aubrey_huff
@jeffcdwyer yeah not a lot of boys grow up wanting to do that! I'm such a looser for accomplishing that.

Andy K, Monday, 30 January 2017 13:12 (four years ago) link

https://mobile.twitter.com/hayesdavenport/status/825913321668870144

na (NA), Monday, 30 January 2017 13:20 (four years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4UDZl7WcAAPY7b.jpg:small

mookieproof, Friday, 10 February 2017 15:27 (four years ago) link

https://twitter.com/Smatz88/status/834175589695229953

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 23 February 2017 18:14 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

Gary you push through kids to get autographs for a living. I truly don't care my signature won't pay for your PornHub subscription anymore https://t.co/XOiWVyWFzQ

— Micah Johnson (@Micah_Johnson3) May 3, 2017

mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 May 2017 17:32 (four years ago) link

FENWAY IS CLOSING??? https://t.co/HikPSSYyDb

— DVS (@DVSblast) May 3, 2017

marcos, Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:16 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

Happy "Loving" day pic.twitter.com/vgwPm0aipi

— Dexter Fowler (@DexterFowler) June 12, 2017

mookieproof, Monday, 12 June 2017 21:29 (four years ago) link

four weeks pass...

A 15-inch mound in a ballpark lit by 60-watt bulbs. Dodger Stadium in the '60s produced less offense than an Osmond Christmas Special. https://t.co/cMucrArcGV

— Joe Sheehan (@joe_sheehan) July 10, 2017

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:55 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

You, a nerd: why do you like baseball it's boring
Me, wise: cock like a ball bat pic.twitter.com/YsMAOMtCTH

— ak? they gay (@alyssakeiko) August 15, 2017

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 02:33 (four years ago) link

So Arpaio is free....among people he illegally attempted to detain. America's Toughest Sheriff? We're about to find out. Good luck, Joe.

— Michael Young (@MikeyY626) August 26, 2017

mookieproof, Saturday, 26 August 2017 03:07 (four years ago) link

little fuckin pansies scared of some shit you cain't even see

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 10 June 2020 09:45 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

click through for the full effect:

0 times divorced, but if he keeps walking the lead-off batter, I’ll consider filing 🤔 https://t.co/iAgvPcrazV

— Sara Stock (@sara__stock) September 2, 2020

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Wednesday, 2 September 2020 15:51 (one year ago) link

awwww. they seem great!

Call him a career minor leaguer, call him a journeyman, a failed prospect, a long shot, a lost cause, a little too old, call him what you want. But today, call him a Major League Baseball player.
I am so deeply proud of this man. He waited his whole life for this opportunity... pic.twitter.com/LnV0IOpWjM

— Sara Stock (@sara__stock) June 25, 2018

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 16:01 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

In @MLB the @astros r now up 2-0 vs @Athletics : happy for @OgSwaggerdick Dusty Baker . Astros sending message we r for real after all the embarrassment caused by cheating in the past .

— Dick Vitale (@DickieV) October 6, 2020

mookieproof, Wednesday, 7 October 2020 14:55 (eleven months ago) link

i didn't realize that eric andre was ogswaggerdick dusty baker

president of my cat (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 7 October 2020 15:11 (eleven months ago) link

and it's unclear whether or not dick vitale realized

president of my cat (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 7 October 2020 15:12 (eleven months ago) link

LMFAO LETS GO #RaysUp pic.twitter.com/DSqLnVIklj

— Manuel Mar🐐 (@Tuataggy) October 10, 2020

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Saturday, 10 October 2020 05:46 (eleven months ago) link

https://twitter.com/juanctoribio/status/131480074813641113

mookieproof, Saturday, 10 October 2020 06:22 (eleven months ago) link

Randy Arozarena posts the dance battle against Brett Phillips on his Instagram. He said: “Today I took home the crown. I won my rematch.”

Phillips and Arozarena are now tied. pic.twitter.com/OvteU49zQd

— Juan Toribio (@juanctoribio) October 10, 2020

mookieproof, Saturday, 10 October 2020 06:22 (eleven months ago) link

Good lord

calstars, Saturday, 10 October 2020 11:17 (eleven months ago) link

I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and coworkers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a homerun. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame

— Emma Baccelleerie 🎃 (@emmabaccellieri) October 19, 2020

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 17:53 (ten months ago) link

far be it for me to judge a working writer but she's missing out on Booccelleerie imo

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 18:11 (ten months ago) link

you can't tell me that tweet isn't just from an episode of brockmire

TRANCED INTO RADIOACTIVE PUREE (Will M.), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 19:30 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Let’s take a vote .How about we have a Bobby Bonilla day every year .Hand him an oversized check and drive a lap around the stadium.Could be fun

— Steven Cohen (@StevenACohen2) November 20, 2020

mookieproof, Friday, 20 November 2020 01:48 (nine months ago) link

I'm not sure if this is cool or kind of needy...both?

Here are my 2 Gold Gloves and Silver Slugger! pic.twitter.com/j7FvDu3Kr5

— Jesse Barfield (@JesseBarfield29) November 24, 2020

Maybe the only Jays history I was ever present for: Barfield's 40th HR in 1986, first Jay to do so.

clemenza, Wednesday, 25 November 2020 18:49 (nine months ago) link

i saw jesse hit many home runs through the windows of the textile mill behind bill meyer stadium in knoxville tennessee when i was very young. one night he broke his bat and my dad asked the batboy if he could have it. quite a treasure now.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 25 November 2020 21:08 (nine months ago) link

Excellent. He was awesome in '85 and '86--Rickey Henderson was better, maybe Dale Murphy, and that was it for outfielders. Years after I saw that game he was at the Skydome for autographs; I of course mentioned being there when he hit his 40th, and--as is usually the case with baseball players--he remembered the pitcher, the count, the pitch, everything.

clemenza, Thursday, 26 November 2020 16:49 (nine months ago) link

three weeks pass...

I’ve been saving this anecdote for a story, but screw it. Too good to squirrel away.

Someone suggested Rays pitcher Tyler Glasnow try to get angry before starts. To do this, he would look at pictures of one person. He pulled out his phone and showed me.

It was Martin Shkreli. pic.twitter.com/TJHpgp1iTE

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) December 21, 2020

mookieproof, Monday, 21 December 2020 16:34 (eight months ago) link

oh my god

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 21 December 2020 16:47 (eight months ago) link

astounding

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Monday, 21 December 2020 16:49 (eight months ago) link

wow, that's a great anecdote

Karl Malone, Monday, 21 December 2020 19:15 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

I’m fighting tonight for everyone who’s tired of Barstool Sports being on the internet

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 5, 2021

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 5 February 2021 18:11 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

Luis Guillorme drew a 22-pitch walk in the 5th inning. Relive the entire at-bat right here 😤 😤 😤 pic.twitter.com/cS57po7ulf

— SNY (@SNYtv) March 14, 2021

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 15 March 2021 03:59 (six months ago) link

i was there

watching on tv i mean

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 04:09 (six months ago) link

he's the guy that casually caught the flying bat a couple years ago

he rules

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 04:13 (six months ago) link

That’s nuts. Was that a fluke, or is this guy some quick-hands god?!

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 15 March 2021 04:17 (six months ago) link

he is in fact a quick-hands god

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 05:21 (six months ago) link

i will give you this heavily cardinals-centered answer: that was jordan hicks' first appearance since 2019, when he had tommy john. the weird thing with him, his whole career, is that he doesn't have a high strikeout %, despite a 104 mph fastball and a wicker slider that's even better. it is bizarre. i am not a pitching expert or stats pro, i have no idea why this happens. but he has always been a pitcher that quickly gets to 2 strikes and then induces weak contact. he's awesome. i love him. he's great. but of all pitchers to have a 22-pitch walk, it's him

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:34 (six months ago) link

and it's pretty amazing that the average MLB player can at least make consistent contact on 104 mph

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:35 (six months ago) link

every time i watch him pitch, it's like a wholesome reminder that "these guys are good"

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:35 (six months ago) link

that is cardinals-centric, but also i feel like it might be more relevant than this 80 wRC+ rookie's contact skillz, that's right, sick BURN on the mets, i am officially RE-IGNITING the CARDINALS-METS RIVALRY, and i guarantee 100% cardinal victories this season, starting now, in spring training, right now

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:37 (six months ago) link

the METS do DRUGS

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:37 (six months ago) link

and the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:38 (six months ago) link

luis guillorme is, by every measure for years on end, a defensive genius. also he caught that bat out of fucking mid-air.

dude would be a fucking folk hero in pittsburgh but instead he'll be quad-a fodder in syracuse

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 06:00 (six months ago) link

the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 07:56 (six months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/spdyfDE.png

mookieproof, Saturday, 3 April 2021 21:59 (five months ago) link

Get his ass

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Saturday, 3 April 2021 23:57 (five months ago) link

*and my parents naming me Dick Staff.

Fixed it https://t.co/bZDGXI7Umn

— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) April 9, 2021

na (NA), Friday, 9 April 2021 21:59 (five months ago) link

Baseball fans need to watch more cricket and appreciate baseball's relative brevity

octobeard, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:06 (five months ago) link

No thanks

calstars, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:26 (five months ago) link

T20 is basically the length of a baseball game, no?

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:38 (five months ago) link

two months pass...

It’s kitten season 😽⚾️ pic.twitter.com/4PTYhIWWuD

— Charlie Manuel (@CMBaseball41) June 10, 2021

mookieproof, Friday, 11 June 2021 02:52 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

You know what fucking time it is. https://t.co/T7BjGKiAby

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 28, 2021

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 13:53 (two months ago) link

idgi

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 30 June 2021 13:59 (two months ago) link

“Remember Some guys” is a low level sports meme

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 14:03 (two months ago) link

Guess it hasnt made it to the old country yet

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 14:04 (two months ago) link

i have to admit, i had totally forgotten about puig and russell, and thought was A. Gonzalez had long stopped playing

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 30 June 2021 16:32 (two months ago) link

feel like a Guy I Remember fairly often is Wilin Rosario, on account of i thought he was gonna be the next great hitting catcher at one point lol

Kompakt Total Landscaping (Will M.), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 17:35 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Bob Melvin said he watches Friends reruns after losses. Seen every episode. So I had to ask: did Ross cheat on Rachel, or were they on a break?

"Don't even get me started on that," he said. "I do have some ideas on that but I'm not going there. That's a loaded question, Steve."

— Steve Berman (@BASportsGuy) July 24, 2021

mookieproof, Saturday, 24 July 2021 15:58 (one month ago) link

Ha ha!

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:38 (one month ago) link


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