important baseball tweets

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mookieproof, Saturday, 15 August 2015 01:42 (three years ago) Permalink

How about that @AROD go-ahead grand slam last night? #Clutch

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:12 (three years ago) Permalink


Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 19:14 (three years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 05:28 (three years ago) Permalink

so chill

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 11:11 (three years ago) Permalink

Juan Uribe just offered me a wad of chew soaked in Kahlua and honey. I tell Juan Uribe I'm working. Juan Uribe yells "JUST A LITTLE BIT!!!"

mookieproof, Friday, 18 September 2015 20:15 (three years ago) Permalink

A note: @MarlinsPark concession stands are all out of Pepsi Perfect. All other Pepsi products are available. Apologies for the inconvenience

Make alternate plans.

Andy K, Friday, 25 September 2015 22:44 (three years ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Friday, 9 October 2015 18:58 (three years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

mookieproof, Friday, 6 November 2015 20:43 (three years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 16:44 (three years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

mookieproof, Friday, 8 January 2016 18:50 (three years ago) Permalink

that's cueto hoss you got there

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 January 2016 15:15 (three years ago) Permalink


Will v. Maim (Will M.), Saturday, 23 January 2016 20:39 (three years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Dave Roberts and White Sox manager Robin Ventura took a picture together at Cactus League media day. “Black man and Robin,” Roberts said.

mookieproof, Monday, 22 February 2016 22:51 (two years ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:59 (two years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

mookieproof, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 19:04 (two years ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

mookieproof, Friday, 22 April 2016 15:01 (two years ago) Permalink

that is brilliant.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 22 April 2016 19:25 (two years ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Wednesday, 27 April 2016 21:38 (two years ago) Permalink

dan haren @ithrow88
@JArrieta34 saw you gave up a run, hang in there. Thinking of you.

mookieproof, Thursday, 28 April 2016 22:10 (two years ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 19:54 (two years ago) Permalink


mookieproof, Friday, 6 May 2016 18:43 (two years ago) Permalink

Oh so this is Twitter? I can say whatever the fuck I want right?

right on time

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:54 (two years ago) Permalink

lmk when he tweets himself out of the '86 Mets reunion on the 28th

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:56 (two years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
three weeks pass...

Make no mistake Brexit will crater the UK into recession and the pound will do a 25% faceplant. Capital will flee like its pants are on fire

mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 19:58 (two years ago) Permalink

obv an Economist reader

helpless before THRILLARY (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:31 (two years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

mookieproof, Friday, 26 August 2016 00:57 (two years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

mookieproof, Friday, 16 September 2016 21:31 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Andrew Miller says he hasn't washed his jock strap since his last bad outing on Sept. 7. That's 18 appearances and 51 days (H/T @BenReiter)

mookieproof, Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:32 (two years ago) Permalink

In unrelated news, Upper Deck is coming out with a limited edition Smell-o-vision series of cards featuring game used baseball equipment! Can't wait to check that out

I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:56 (two years ago) Permalink

I know two of the people featured in here:

GUNSHOW POOPHOLE (Phil D.), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:57 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

this is an apostrophe

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 21:02 (two years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Motivational speaker and author Aubrey Huff took to Twitter.

I mean seriously what the hell is going on? If you have time 2 march, protest and riot. Maybe it's time for something called a job!

You swung a stick at a ball for a living. Fuck off.

@jeffcdwyer yeah not a lot of boys grow up wanting to do that! I'm such a looser for accomplishing that.

Andy K, Monday, 30 January 2017 13:12 (two years ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Friday, 10 February 2017 15:27 (two years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Gary you push through kids to get autographs for a living. I truly don't care my signature won't pay for your PornHub subscription anymore

— Micah Johnson (@Micah_Johnson3) May 3, 2017

mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 May 2017 17:32 (one year ago) Permalink


— DVS (@DVSblast) May 3, 2017

marcos, Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:16 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Happy "Loving" day

— Dexter Fowler (@DexterFowler) June 12, 2017

mookieproof, Monday, 12 June 2017 21:29 (one year ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

A 15-inch mound in a ballpark lit by 60-watt bulbs. Dodger Stadium in the '60s produced less offense than an Osmond Christmas Special.

— Joe Sheehan (@joe_sheehan) July 10, 2017

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:55 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

You, a nerd: why do you like baseball it's boring
Me, wise: cock like a ball bat

— ak? they gay (@alyssakeiko) August 15, 2017

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 02:33 (one year ago) Permalink

So Arpaio is free....among people he illegally attempted to detain. America's Toughest Sheriff? We're about to find out. Good luck, Joe.

— Michael Young (@MikeyY626) August 26, 2017

mookieproof, Saturday, 26 August 2017 03:07 (one year ago) Permalink

I hear from some of you tweetsters that my Seinfeld episode was on tonight on Pix. That means I’ll get a nice little check. Enough to pay for dinner tomorrow with the boys in DC. GN

— keith Hernandez (@kher8286) April 4, 2018

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 April 2018 18:09 (ten months ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

Ozzie Guillen In A Venezuelan Telenovela

— Gustavo Vega (@iamvega1982) May 2, 2018

na (NA), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 01:19 (nine months ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Tuesday, 15 May 2018 17:34 (nine months ago) Permalink

zach cozart seems really fun

Zack Cozart on the #Rays starting Romo on back-to-back days: “It was’s bad for baseball, in my opinion...It’s spring training. That’s the best way to explain it.” #Angels

— Fabian Ardaya (@FabianArdaya) May 20, 2018

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Monday, 21 May 2018 23:02 (eight months ago) Permalink

v. v. good for baseball, of course

francisF, Tuesday, 22 May 2018 21:40 (eight months ago) Permalink

Dear couple that clearly broke up while standing near our bullpen in the 5th inning today,

Lovely entertainment for a few minutes, but we hope you’re ok. Feel free to come back tomorrow and discuss with us. We can provide the third party point of view!


The Jays bullpen!

— John Axford (@JohnAxford) May 26, 2018

na (NA), Saturday, 26 May 2018 12:56 (eight months ago) Permalink


— MillennialFalcon (@zak_vargas) May 25, 2018

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Saturday, 26 May 2018 19:45 (eight months ago) Permalink

— Danny Duffy (@duffkc41) June 1, 2018

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Saturday, 2 June 2018 02:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

PJ Conlon after being reacquired by the Mets in less than a week

— PJ Conlon (@pjconlon29) June 6, 2018

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 June 2018 01:56 (eight months ago) Permalink

ha ha ha

na (NA), Thursday, 7 June 2018 02:05 (eight months ago) Permalink

Giants fans should be really excited with Bumgarner back. Now guys like Samardzija, Cueto, can drop the load on their big horse

— Pedro Martinez (@45PedroMartinez) June 6, 2018

k3vin k., Thursday, 7 June 2018 02:15 (eight months ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Saturday, 16 June 2018 03:19 (eight months ago) Permalink

I have never taken a selfie in my life🤣😂so here it is, happy #NationalSelfieDay everyone!! Let’s see yours,,,BE BLESS!!🙏🏽

— Bengie Molina (@BengieMolina1) June 21, 2018

mookieproof, Thursday, 21 June 2018 19:18 (seven months ago) Permalink

great selfie

obviously DLC (Karl Malone), Thursday, 21 June 2018 22:07 (seven months ago) Permalink

I look at the first 10 digits of line scores in case one forms a phone number. I found one this year, I can’t tell you the game, that would be intrusive. I called the number, and a guy answered! I hung up without speaking. What was I going to say, your number is a line score?

— Tim Kurkjian (@Kurkjian_ESPN) June 27, 2018

mookieproof, Wednesday, 27 June 2018 18:03 (seven months ago) Permalink

there's a lot of downtime in baseball

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 27 June 2018 18:08 (seven months ago) Permalink

Happy 4th you filthy animals

— Joe Kelly Jr. (@JosephKellyJr) July 4, 2018

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:47 (seven months ago) Permalink

This is the face of toxic masculinity

— Mina (@maddc8) July 11, 2018

mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 15:42 (seven months ago) Permalink

Some players have racist and offensive old tweets and then there's Lucas Giolito. 😂

— Mike (@ChiSoxFanMike) July 18, 2018

na (NA), Friday, 20 July 2018 12:58 (seven months ago) Permalink

— Name cannot be blank (@BryonHull) July 22, 2018

Karl Malone, Sunday, 22 July 2018 22:39 (six months ago) Permalink

follow-up to that:

na (NA), Monday, 23 July 2018 14:43 (six months ago) Permalink

this man wasn't a baseball thief - he actually runs a local charity dedicated to giving away baseballs to the most deserving children in the tri-state area!

but good on him. honestly, i occasionally work in the camera pit at baseball games and have witnessed some of the most pathetic behavior possible re: adults wanting baseballs, so the clip (as it appeared on the surface) didn't surprise me

Karl Malone, Monday, 23 July 2018 15:01 (six months ago) Permalink

Brewers acquire Joakim Soria @SenFeinstein 1st

— Jon Heyman (@JonHeyman) July 26, 2018

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 July 2018 17:39 (six months ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2018 16:19 (six months ago) Permalink

hoo boy

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 27 July 2018 17:51 (six months ago) Permalink

well, there are three Twitter teenagers exposed... surely that's the end of it

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 July 2018 14:29 (six months ago) Permalink

Please stop digging through my tweets. I’ve already deleted all my tweets about liking pineapple pizza. Thx.

— Trevor Williams (@MeLlamoTrevor) July 30, 2018

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 30 July 2018 19:42 (six months ago) Permalink

"As The Washington Post notes, fan rivalries may have played a role in the revelations about Newcomb and Turner, whose Braves and Nationals compete in the same division. The newspaper observes that the past tweets were dug up by Twitter accounts apparently run by fans of the opposing clubs"

Michael F Gill, Monday, 30 July 2018 22:11 (six months ago) Permalink

oppo dump c/d?

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 30 July 2018 22:26 (six months ago) Permalink

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
BUCK: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
BUCK: oh god yes

— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) October 28, 2015

Karl Malone, Thursday, 2 August 2018 15:19 (six months ago) Permalink

Sports Twitter canon

YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Thursday, 2 August 2018 15:36 (six months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Don't try to lecture Mike Clevinger on his long hair. He'll roast you.

We've got your Twitter beef recap ➡️

— Yahoo Sports MLB (@MLByahoosports) August 20, 2018

na (NA), Monday, 20 August 2018 20:41 (six months ago) Permalink

169 actually. Official distance.

— Trevor Bauer (@BauerOutage) August 17, 2018

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 00:34 (five months ago) Permalink

We see that the time honored tradition of @Indians rehabs affecting the @EasternLeague playoffs is continuing this year. #TravisHafner2008

— Bowie Baysox (@BowieBaysox) September 6, 2018

Well, when you guys make the playoffs, we're sure the @Orioles will have some MLB-quality players to send out on rehab. #2035

— Akron RubberDucks (@AkronRubberDuck) September 6, 2018

mookieproof, Friday, 7 September 2018 17:55 (five months ago) Permalink


YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 7 September 2018 18:24 (five months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

I just started typing the words “I got” and my phone’s suggestions for the next word we’re “to,” “for,” and “DFAd.” This is not a joke. It’s just happened that many times.

— Ty Kelly (@tykelly11) October 18, 2018

Michael F Gill, Friday, 19 October 2018 02:47 (four months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

On this day 46 years ago the American League adopted the designated hitter rule. The age of strategy was gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators had succeeded; and the glory of baseball was extinguished forever.

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) January 11, 2019

mookieproof, Friday, 11 January 2019 20:16 (one month ago) Permalink

most anyone else and I could detect snark

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 11 January 2019 20:28 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

"Whit Merrifield has one of the best social media accounts in the game" 🤔

— Scott Walker's Bald Spot (@TacoAffcionado) January 28, 2019

na (NA), Monday, 28 January 2019 19:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

If we get 1,000,000 RTs, we'll lick the foul pole.

No, we're not warm yet.
Yes, we will do it.

— Cleveland Indians (@Indians) January 30, 2019

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 19:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink

if they get 2 million retweets, they'll rename the team?

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 19:59 (three weeks ago) Permalink

pokemon that have the same hair as major league players, a thread:

— Shanna Shi (@shanna_shi) January 30, 2019

mookieproof, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 20:42 (three weeks ago) Permalink

watching professionla sports teams interact w ewach other in the thread under that cleveland tweet is deeply ufcked up, like, it just hit me really viscerally hard right now how insane a bunch of poorly paid 20 somethings more or less professionally roleplaying a billion dollar organization online is (esp when the org can get in trouble if they do it wrong)

suggest boban (Will M.), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 23:10 (three weeks ago) Permalink

also lol that pokemon thread rules

also leave clint frazier alone, he's on smoko

suggest boban (Will M.), Wednesday, 30 January 2019 23:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

#ExposBowl Update - End of 1st QTR
🏈 1995 Expos Draft Pick: 0
⚾️ Expos Catcher Jerry Goff’s Son: 0#SBLIII

— Montreal Expos ⚾️ #Expos50 (@Montreal_Expos) February 4, 2019

YouTube_-_funy_cats.flv (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Monday, 4 February 2019 01:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

mookieproof, Thursday, 7 February 2019 17:12 (one week ago) Permalink

The #rays Kevin Cash says they plan on three starters and two days with an opener.

— Neil Solondz (@neilsolondz) February 12, 2019

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 21:03 (one week ago) Permalink

is opener what we are calling them now? confusing since that's also uhh what we call a game in march

they're not booing you, sir, they're shouting "Boo'd Up" (Will M.), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 21:38 (one week ago) Permalink

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