important baseball tweets

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mookieproof, Saturday, 15 August 2015 01:42 (seven years ago) link

@BarryBonds
How about that @AROD go-ahead grand slam last night? #Clutch

mookieproof, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:12 (seven years ago) link

hahaha

Van Horn Street, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 19:14 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/billshaikin/status/641481111156035584

mookieproof, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 05:28 (seven years ago) link

so chill

slothroprhymes, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 11:11 (seven years ago) link

@MarcCarig
Juan Uribe just offered me a wad of chew soaked in Kahlua and honey. I tell Juan Uribe I'm working. Juan Uribe yells "JUST A LITTLE BIT!!!"

mookieproof, Friday, 18 September 2015 20:15 (seven years ago) link

@Marlins
A note: @MarlinsPark concession stands are all out of Pepsi Perfect. All other Pepsi products are available. Apologies for the inconvenience

Make alternate plans.

Andy K, Friday, 25 September 2015 22:44 (seven years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CQ5Z7jBUcAAxrbM.png

mookieproof, Friday, 9 October 2015 18:58 (seven years ago) link

four weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/CMBaseball41/status/662729655208685572

mookieproof, Friday, 6 November 2015 20:43 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/2RotSIZ.png

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 16:44 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/O9dkQBR.png

mookieproof, Friday, 8 January 2016 18:50 (six years ago) link

that's cueto hoss you got there

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, 22 January 2016 15:15 (six years ago) link

#ad

Will v. Maim (Will M.), Saturday, 23 January 2016 20:39 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/AlexPavlovic/status/698580094843883520

lute bro (brimstead), Saturday, 13 February 2016 22:02 (six years ago) link

@pedromoura
Dave Roberts and White Sox manager Robin Ventura took a picture together at Cactus League media day. “Black man and Robin,” Roberts said.

mookieproof, Monday, 22 February 2016 22:51 (six years ago) link

https://twitter.com/pabloozuna38/status/705057945890004992

mookieproof, Wednesday, 2 March 2016 15:59 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/TonyLaRussa/status/712716335780728832

mookieproof, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 19:04 (six years ago) link

four weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/RKe7IDn.png

mookieproof, Friday, 22 April 2016 15:01 (six years ago) link

that is brilliant.

Mad Piratical (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 22 April 2016 19:25 (six years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/XGT4zlB.png

mookieproof, Wednesday, 27 April 2016 21:38 (six years ago) link

dan haren @ithrow88
@JArrieta34 saw you gave up a run, hang in there. Thinking of you.

mookieproof, Thursday, 28 April 2016 22:10 (six years ago) link

https://www.instagram.com/p/BE_2mY4Q6jg

mookieproof, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 19:54 (six years ago) link

#PuigNotScared

mookieproof, Friday, 6 May 2016 18:43 (six years ago) link

@LennyDykstra
Oh so this is Twitter? I can say whatever the fuck I want right?

right on time

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:54 (six years ago) link

lmk when he tweets himself out of the '86 Mets reunion on the 28th

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 18:56 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...
three weeks pass...

@JoseCanseco
Make no mistake Brexit will crater the UK into recession and the pound will do a 25% faceplant. Capital will flee like its pants are on fire

mookieproof, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 19:58 (six years ago) link

obv an Economist reader

helpless before THRILLARY (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:31 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/JsojfGq.png

mookieproof, Friday, 26 August 2016 00:57 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://twitter.com/keithlaw/status/776895750810767360

mookieproof, Friday, 16 September 2016 21:31 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

@darrenrovell
Andrew Miller says he hasn't washed his jock strap since his last bad outing on Sept. 7. That's 18 appearances and 51 days (H/T @BenReiter)

mookieproof, Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:32 (six years ago) link

In unrelated news, Upper Deck is coming out with a limited edition Smell-o-vision series of cards featuring game used baseball equipment! Can't wait to check that out

I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:56 (six years ago) link

I know two of the people featured in here: http://mashable.com/2016/10/28/mike-napoli-pooping-game-3

GUNSHOW POOPHOLE (Phil D.), Saturday, 29 October 2016 02:57 (six years ago) link

Sad that A's deleted their tweets as I fully support all the SmashMouth bashing.

http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/page/QTP_161029SmashMouth/twitter-feud-oakland-athletics-smash-mouth-ensues-following-coco-crisp-world-series-hit

One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Monday, 31 October 2016 00:26 (six years ago) link

https://twitter.com/Noahsyndergaard/status/797100165110730752

mookieproof, Friday, 11 November 2016 15:37 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

this is an apostrophe

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 21:02 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Motivational speaker and author Aubrey Huff took to Twitter.

@aubrey_huff
I mean seriously what the hell is going on? If you have time 2 march, protest and riot. Maybe it's time for something called a job!

@jeffcdwyer
You swung a stick at a ball for a living. Fuck off.

@aubrey_huff
@jeffcdwyer yeah not a lot of boys grow up wanting to do that! I'm such a looser for accomplishing that.

Andy K, Monday, 30 January 2017 13:12 (five years ago) link

https://mobile.twitter.com/hayesdavenport/status/825913321668870144

na (NA), Monday, 30 January 2017 13:20 (five years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4UDZl7WcAAPY7b.jpg:small

mookieproof, Friday, 10 February 2017 15:27 (five years ago) link

https://twitter.com/Smatz88/status/834175589695229953

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 23 February 2017 18:14 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

Gary you push through kids to get autographs for a living. I truly don't care my signature won't pay for your PornHub subscription anymore https://t.co/XOiWVyWFzQ

— Micah Johnson (@Micah_Johnson3) May 3, 2017

mookieproof, Wednesday, 3 May 2017 17:32 (five years ago) link

FENWAY IS CLOSING??? https://t.co/HikPSSYyDb

— DVS (@DVSblast) May 3, 2017

marcos, Thursday, 4 May 2017 15:16 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Happy "Loving" day pic.twitter.com/vgwPm0aipi

— Dexter Fowler (@DexterFowler) June 12, 2017

mookieproof, Monday, 12 June 2017 21:29 (five years ago) link

four weeks pass...

A 15-inch mound in a ballpark lit by 60-watt bulbs. Dodger Stadium in the '60s produced less offense than an Osmond Christmas Special. https://t.co/cMucrArcGV

— Joe Sheehan (@joe_sheehan) July 10, 2017

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:55 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

You, a nerd: why do you like baseball it's boring
Me, wise: cock like a ball bat pic.twitter.com/YsMAOMtCTH

— ak? they gay (@alyssakeiko) August 15, 2017

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 15 August 2017 02:33 (five years ago) link

So Arpaio is free....among people he illegally attempted to detain. America's Toughest Sheriff? We're about to find out. Good luck, Joe.

— Michael Young (@MikeyY626) August 26, 2017

mookieproof, Saturday, 26 August 2017 03:07 (five years ago) link

https://twitter.com/juanctoribio/status/131480074813641113

mookieproof, Saturday, 10 October 2020 06:22 (two years ago) link

Randy Arozarena posts the dance battle against Brett Phillips on his Instagram. He said: “Today I took home the crown. I won my rematch.”

Phillips and Arozarena are now tied. pic.twitter.com/OvteU49zQd

— Juan Toribio (@juanctoribio) October 10, 2020

mookieproof, Saturday, 10 October 2020 06:22 (two years ago) link

Good lord

calstars, Saturday, 10 October 2020 11:17 (two years ago) link

I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and coworkers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a homerun. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame

— Emma Baccelleerie 🎃 (@emmabaccellieri) October 19, 2020

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 17:53 (two years ago) link

far be it for me to judge a working writer but she's missing out on Booccelleerie imo

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 18:11 (two years ago) link

you can't tell me that tweet isn't just from an episode of brockmire

TRANCED INTO RADIOACTIVE PUREE (Will M.), Tuesday, 20 October 2020 19:30 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Let’s take a vote .How about we have a Bobby Bonilla day every year .Hand him an oversized check and drive a lap around the stadium.Could be fun

— Steven Cohen (@StevenACohen2) November 20, 2020

mookieproof, Friday, 20 November 2020 01:48 (two years ago) link

I'm not sure if this is cool or kind of needy...both?

Here are my 2 Gold Gloves and Silver Slugger! pic.twitter.com/j7FvDu3Kr5

— Jesse Barfield (@JesseBarfield29) November 24, 2020

Maybe the only Jays history I was ever present for: Barfield's 40th HR in 1986, first Jay to do so.

clemenza, Wednesday, 25 November 2020 18:49 (two years ago) link

i saw jesse hit many home runs through the windows of the textile mill behind bill meyer stadium in knoxville tennessee when i was very young. one night he broke his bat and my dad asked the batboy if he could have it. quite a treasure now.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 25 November 2020 21:08 (two years ago) link

Excellent. He was awesome in '85 and '86--Rickey Henderson was better, maybe Dale Murphy, and that was it for outfielders. Years after I saw that game he was at the Skydome for autographs; I of course mentioned being there when he hit his 40th, and--as is usually the case with baseball players--he remembered the pitcher, the count, the pitch, everything.

clemenza, Thursday, 26 November 2020 16:49 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I’ve been saving this anecdote for a story, but screw it. Too good to squirrel away.

Someone suggested Rays pitcher Tyler Glasnow try to get angry before starts. To do this, he would look at pictures of one person. He pulled out his phone and showed me.

It was Martin Shkreli. pic.twitter.com/TJHpgp1iTE

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) December 21, 2020

mookieproof, Monday, 21 December 2020 16:34 (one year ago) link

oh my god

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 21 December 2020 16:47 (one year ago) link

astounding

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Monday, 21 December 2020 16:49 (one year ago) link

wow, that's a great anecdote

Karl Malone, Monday, 21 December 2020 19:15 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

I’m fighting tonight for everyone who’s tired of Barstool Sports being on the internet

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 5, 2021

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 5 February 2021 18:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Luis Guillorme drew a 22-pitch walk in the 5th inning. Relive the entire at-bat right here 😤 😤 😤 pic.twitter.com/cS57po7ulf

— SNY (@SNYtv) March 14, 2021

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 15 March 2021 03:59 (one year ago) link

i was there

watching on tv i mean

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 04:09 (one year ago) link

he's the guy that casually caught the flying bat a couple years ago

he rules

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 04:13 (one year ago) link

That’s nuts. Was that a fluke, or is this guy some quick-hands god?!

he is in fact a quick-hands god

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 05:21 (one year ago) link

i will give you this heavily cardinals-centered answer: that was jordan hicks' first appearance since 2019, when he had tommy john. the weird thing with him, his whole career, is that he doesn't have a high strikeout %, despite a 104 mph fastball and a wicker slider that's even better. it is bizarre. i am not a pitching expert or stats pro, i have no idea why this happens. but he has always been a pitcher that quickly gets to 2 strikes and then induces weak contact. he's awesome. i love him. he's great. but of all pitchers to have a 22-pitch walk, it's him

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:34 (one year ago) link

and it's pretty amazing that the average MLB player can at least make consistent contact on 104 mph

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:35 (one year ago) link

every time i watch him pitch, it's like a wholesome reminder that "these guys are good"

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:35 (one year ago) link

that is cardinals-centric, but also i feel like it might be more relevant than this 80 wRC+ rookie's contact skillz, that's right, sick BURN on the mets, i am officially RE-IGNITING the CARDINALS-METS RIVALRY, and i guarantee 100% cardinal victories this season, starting now, in spring training, right now

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:37 (one year ago) link

the METS do DRUGS

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:37 (one year ago) link

and the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 05:38 (one year ago) link

luis guillorme is, by every measure for years on end, a defensive genius. also he caught that bat out of fucking mid-air.

dude would be a fucking folk hero in pittsburgh but instead he'll be quad-a fodder in syracuse

mookieproof, Monday, 15 March 2021 06:00 (one year ago) link

the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 March 2021 07:56 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/spdyfDE.png

mookieproof, Saturday, 3 April 2021 21:59 (one year ago) link

Get his ass

*and my parents naming me Dick Staff.

Fixed it https://t.co/bZDGXI7Umn

— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) April 9, 2021

na (NA), Friday, 9 April 2021 21:59 (one year ago) link

Baseball fans need to watch more cricket and appreciate baseball's relative brevity

octobeard, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:06 (one year ago) link

No thanks

calstars, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:26 (one year ago) link

T20 is basically the length of a baseball game, no?

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 10 April 2021 00:38 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

It’s kitten season 😽⚾️ pic.twitter.com/4PTYhIWWuD

— Charlie Manuel (@CMBaseball41) June 10, 2021

mookieproof, Friday, 11 June 2021 02:52 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

You know what fucking time it is. https://t.co/T7BjGKiAby

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 28, 2021

idgi

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 30 June 2021 13:59 (one year ago) link

“Remember Some guys” is a low level sports meme

Guess it hasnt made it to the old country yet

i have to admit, i had totally forgotten about puig and russell, and thought was A. Gonzalez had long stopped playing

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 30 June 2021 16:32 (one year ago) link

feel like a Guy I Remember fairly often is Wilin Rosario, on account of i thought he was gonna be the next great hitting catcher at one point lol

Kompakt Total Landscaping (Will M.), Wednesday, 30 June 2021 17:35 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Bob Melvin said he watches Friends reruns after losses. Seen every episode. So I had to ask: did Ross cheat on Rachel, or were they on a break?

"Don't even get me started on that," he said. "I do have some ideas on that but I'm not going there. That's a loaded question, Steve."

— Steve Berman (@BASportsGuy) July 24, 2021

mookieproof, Saturday, 24 July 2021 15:58 (one year ago) link

Ha ha!

FRAUDULENT STEAKS (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 24 July 2021 16:38 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

Chipper Jones raw dogged every Hooters waitress between Chattanooga and Tampa but scared of the jab? Make it make sense. Still love the guy but the math ain’t math-ing there!

— Everyone Hates Chris (@ckssense) March 12, 2022

the world's undisputed #1 fan of 'Spud Infinity' (Karl Malone), Saturday, 12 March 2022 18:34 (eight months ago) link

loool

Tracer Hand, Saturday, 12 March 2022 22:59 (eight months ago) link

three months pass...

https://i.imgur.com/aFvAW3A.jpg

mookieproof, Thursday, 7 July 2022 18:32 (four months ago) link

not fair someone should be that good at baseball and that good at twitter

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 7 July 2022 18:41 (four months ago) link

Pour one out for the Rays’ ballboy pic.twitter.com/69fN1dU1mi

— Ben Palmer (@benjpalmer) July 16, 2022

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Sunday, 17 July 2022 17:28 (four months ago) link

three months pass...

Not baseball per se BUT

pic.twitter.com/KXyqUQEuI9

— meaning machine (@EricThurm) November 2, 2022

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 2 November 2022 20:27 (three weeks ago) link

as soon as i read the first tweet i knew what the second would be

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 2 November 2022 22:17 (three weeks ago) link


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