important baseball tweets

I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and coworkers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a homerun. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame

— Emma Baccelleerie 🎃 (@emmabaccellieri) October 19, 2020

far be it for me to judge a working writer but she's missing out on Booccelleerie imo

you can't tell me that tweet isn't just from an episode of brockmire

Let’s take a vote .How about we have a Bobby Bonilla day every year .Hand him an oversized check and drive a lap around the stadium.Could be fun

— Steven Cohen (@StevenACohen2) November 20, 2020

I'm not sure if this is cool or kind of needy...both?

Here are my 2 Gold Gloves and Silver Slugger! pic.twitter.com/j7FvDu3Kr5

— Jesse Barfield (@JesseBarfield29) November 24, 2020

Maybe the only Jays history I was ever present for: Barfield's 40th HR in 1986, first Jay to do so.

i saw jesse hit many home runs through the windows of the textile mill behind bill meyer stadium in knoxville tennessee when i was very young. one night he broke his bat and my dad asked the batboy if he could have it. quite a treasure now.

Excellent. He was awesome in '85 and '86--Rickey Henderson was better, maybe Dale Murphy, and that was it for outfielders. Years after I saw that game he was at the Skydome for autographs; I of course mentioned being there when he hit his 40th, and--as is usually the case with baseball players--he remembered the pitcher, the count, the pitch, everything.

I’ve been saving this anecdote for a story, but screw it. Too good to squirrel away.

Someone suggested Rays pitcher Tyler Glasnow try to get angry before starts. To do this, he would look at pictures of one person. He pulled out his phone and showed me.

It was Martin Shkreli. pic.twitter.com/TJHpgp1iTE

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) December 21, 2020

oh my god

astounding

wow, that's a great anecdote

I’m fighting tonight for everyone who’s tired of Barstool Sports being on the internet

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 5, 2021

Luis Guillorme drew a 22-pitch walk in the 5th inning. Relive the entire at-bat right here 😤 😤 😤 pic.twitter.com/cS57po7ulf

— SNY (@SNYtv) March 14, 2021

i was there

watching on tv i mean

he's the guy that casually caught the flying bat a couple years ago

he rules

That’s nuts. Was that a fluke, or is this guy some quick-hands god?!

he is in fact a quick-hands god

i will give you this heavily cardinals-centered answer: that was jordan hicks' first appearance since 2019, when he had tommy john. the weird thing with him, his whole career, is that he doesn't have a high strikeout %, despite a 104 mph fastball and a wicker slider that's even better. it is bizarre. i am not a pitching expert or stats pro, i have no idea why this happens. but he has always been a pitcher that quickly gets to 2 strikes and then induces weak contact. he's awesome. i love him. he's great. but of all pitchers to have a 22-pitch walk, it's him

and it's pretty amazing that the average MLB player can at least make consistent contact on 104 mph

every time i watch him pitch, it's like a wholesome reminder that "these guys are good"

that is cardinals-centric, but also i feel like it might be more relevant than this 80 wRC+ rookie's contact skillz, that's right, sick BURN on the mets, i am officially RE-IGNITING the CARDINALS-METS RIVALRY, and i guarantee 100% cardinal victories this season, starting now, in spring training, right now

the METS do DRUGS

and the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

luis guillorme is, by every measure for years on end, a defensive genius. also he caught that bat out of fucking mid-air.

dude would be a fucking folk hero in pittsburgh but instead he'll be quad-a fodder in syracuse

the mid-80s cardinals do NOT do DRUGS!

https://i.imgur.com/spdyfDE.png

Get his ass

*and my parents naming me Dick Staff.

Fixed it https://t.co/bZDGXI7Umn

— Noah Syndergaard (@Noahsyndergaard) April 9, 2021

Baseball fans need to watch more cricket and appreciate baseball's relative brevity

No thanks

T20 is basically the length of a baseball game, no?

It’s kitten season 😽⚾️ pic.twitter.com/4PTYhIWWuD

— Charlie Manuel (@CMBaseball41) June 10, 2021

You know what fucking time it is. https://t.co/T7BjGKiAby

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 28, 2021

idgi

“Remember Some guys” is a low level sports meme

Guess it hasnt made it to the old country yet

i have to admit, i had totally forgotten about puig and russell, and thought was A. Gonzalez had long stopped playing

feel like a Guy I Remember fairly often is Wilin Rosario, on account of i thought he was gonna be the next great hitting catcher at one point lol

Bob Melvin said he watches Friends reruns after losses. Seen every episode. So I had to ask: did Ross cheat on Rachel, or were they on a break?

"Don't even get me started on that," he said. "I do have some ideas on that but I'm not going there. That's a loaded question, Steve."

— Steve Berman (@BASportsGuy) July 24, 2021

Ha ha!

Chipper Jones raw dogged every Hooters waitress between Chattanooga and Tampa but scared of the jab? Make it make sense. Still love the guy but the math ain’t math-ing there!

— Everyone Hates Chris (@ckssense) March 12, 2022

loool

https://i.imgur.com/aFvAW3A.jpg

not fair someone should be that good at baseball and that good at twitter

Pour one out for the Rays’ ballboy pic.twitter.com/69fN1dU1mi

— Ben Palmer (@benjpalmer) July 16, 2022

Not baseball per se BUT

pic.twitter.com/KXyqUQEuI9

— meaning machine (@EricThurm) November 2, 2022

as soon as i read the first tweet i knew what the second would be

I'm sure Aaron Judge is reaching for his phone as I type.

Aaron judge I am getting ready for you let's see if you can hit a baseball as far as I can hit a softball I doubt that very much let me know when you're ready we'll do the competition for charity pic.twitter.com/riWXN8Z878

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 5, 2023

(Is punctuation considered bad form on Twitter, or is it that you're wasting precious character count? That tweet reminds me of 10,000 student journal entries I marked.)

real ballers don’t need punctuation