Roger Clemens - Classic Or Dud?

They were on pace for that w/out Rajah, after their spurtable spurt against the lowest of the low in the AL & NL (and, um, Boston) (&, yeah, Clemens "helped" during that stretch, but minimally) - problem is, 88 wins will leave them at least 5 GB of the wildcard, & 10+ in back of the Red Sox.

(go O's!)

yes, this is the year Fistpump gets to be Fox playoff analyst.

They're gonna need to separate Jeter & McCarver w/ some Popemobile-strength bullet-proof plastic.

why would they need to do that? to stop mccarver from planting giant sloppy kisses on jeter?

Who in tarnation is captain pistfump?

http://www.sonsofsamhorn.net/wiki/images/thumb/f/f1/Jeter.jpg/250px-Jeter.jpg

http://news.com.com/i/ne/p/2005/1312005jeter350x306.jpg
http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Derek-Jeter---2003-World-Series-Game-Action-Photofile-Photograph-C10114200.jpeg
http://enquirer.com/editions/2001/11/01/jeter_zoom.jpg

why would they need to do that? to stop mccarver from planting giant sloppy kisses on jeter?

well duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

giant, sloppy kisses if we're lucky!

wait, but what about his rodness, the rod?

As an analyst?

the rod doesn't analyze...i mean things besides his own awesomeness?

you just hate him because he's biracial

Not to mention good-looking.

Slappy & Pumpy broke up

roger and andy are still going strong

"I'll probably look at the history at another time. I hope this is something that my body is telling me I'm getting stronger." -- Clemens, who will turn 45 next month, on winning No. 350

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20070703/thumb.65a884f91a4f412e93fd1445d58a3741.twins_yankees_baseball_nyy111.jpg

YOU SHOULD GET BACK IN THE GAME ROGER CLEMENS

THE END IS NEAR.

Someone get him his poultice.

Actual BBTN quotes:

"You know what? He continues to get better with age."

"Keep in mind that the New York Yankees have to score runs for Roger in order for him to be effective for them."

(Uhh WOW plus you guys were just talking for several minutes about the miraculous sustained effectiveness of someone old enough to play in an old-timer game. The New York Yankees scored one run.)

THE STORY IS NOT THE ANGELS WINNING.

Not much run support -- or ESPN postgame analysis, it seems -- in a loss to TB.

so we hate them for talking too much?

and then not talking enough?

just trying to get it straight.

ha ha stence save that biting rhetorical analysis for debate club kthx

There is a stark difference in Clemens coverage/analysis when he does truly well (or merely satisfactory) and when he doesn't do so well. It's funny.

When he does well: Meticulous analysis marveling at a pitcher who continues to get better with age. How does he do it? Let's all discuss it for a few minutes. Look at Clemens hit his spots. Look at Clemens adjust to losing some of his velocity. Look at Clemens gut it out after getting into a jam which might've had to do with the phase of the moon or some kind of temporary talent surge on the part of a couple hitters. Look at Clemens bend down to pick up a tapper thrown miraculously in on the handle of the bat.

When he doesn't do well: Here's how the Yankees scored their runs. Ohandhereshowtheotherteamscoredclemensthrewfiverunsgivingupsevenhitsblahblahkthnxbye.

Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/04/27/2008-04-27_sources_roger_clemens_had_10year_fling_w.html

:/ :/ :/

http://i32.tinypic.com/25gtb9i.jpg

She was 15 when he noticed her at a Fort Myers, Fla., bar while out with his Red Sox teammates, according to the Daily News.

waht are you saying there was some sort of gap between noticing an consummation

there's just something about that bit that makes it come alive for me, like i can just imagine the sweaty fattey sitting in a booth with greenwell or something, drinking a beer, staring at this high school chick

what year was it? i can only hope it was like rich gedman or something. or better yet, an 80 year old dewey evans with that pervy burt reynolds mustache sending drinks over to some high school sophomore.

omg yes that sox team perving out on hs chix in a karaoke bar a+++

"B.P. is canceled due to the jv field hockey game going on across the street."

http://www.redsoxconnection.com/dwightevans.jpg

omg, i just remembered my best friend's mother had a HUGE crush on dewey evans when we were kids! fuck that's hilarious.

clemens was 28 in '91, so the team would have included:

Tony Pena
Carlos Quintana
Jody Reed
Wade Boggs
Luis Rivera
Mike Greenwell
Ellis Burks
Tom Brunansky
Jack Clark
Mo Vaughn
Steve Lyons
Phil Plantier
Mike Brumley
John Marzano
Mike Marshall
Tim Naehring
Kevin Romine
Scott Cooper
Bob Zupcic
Wayne Housie
Eric Wedge
Mike Gardiner
Tom Bolton
Matt Young
Kevin Morton
Danny Darwin
Jeff Reardon
Tony Fossas
Dennis Lamp
Jeff Gray
Greg Harris
Joe Hesketh
Dana Kiecker
Dan Petry
Daryl Irvine
Jeff Plympton
John Dopson
Steve Lyons
Josias Manzanillo

two thirds of that roster i can totally see as statutory rapists. with jody reed successfully passing himself off as a high school junior.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://blogs.kansascity.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/23/mccready.jpg

i'm sure boggs was right there calling dibs on her sister.

LYONS

i met him once at logan during the playoffs about 8 or 9 years ago, he wasn't nearly as douchey as i thought he'd be.

psycho or roger?

i'm sure boggs was right there calling dibs on her sister

LOLLLS

BLAME IT ON THE CHICKEN

brunansky seems like the guy who would buy all the rookies a night with a hooker and then kind of creepily hang around to watch the proceedings

mr. que - psycho.

omar - dennis lamp strikes me bob crane A/V weirdo.

Mo Vaughn is the only one I recognize who I couldn't see macking on jailbait.

(also: I've been playing rotisserie too damn long, I've had at least 2/3 of those guys on a team)

http://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/monthly_04_2008/post-15-1209408932.jpg

:|

Clemens is falling from grace with an Amy Winehouse-like aplomb.

Don't insult Ms. Winehouse by comparing her to a no-good needle-humping kid-sexing bat-throwing meathead like Roger.