ESPN "analysts": room temp IQs all around?

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I'm not defending either one. I'm just sick of your constant willingness -- your eagerness -- to define yourself by misery and hatred.

resistance is feudal (WmC), Monday, 25 May 2009 13:52 (fifteen years ago) link

chill out, pal, it's an ESPN Hate thread.

Dr Morbius, Monday, 25 May 2009 13:53 (fifteen years ago) link

And the NYY thread is the Yankees Hate Thread, and the Mets thread is the Mets Haters Hate Thread, and the politics threads are all Everybody and Everything Hate Threads, and film threads are all Mere Entertainment Hate Threads.

et fucking cetera, ad fucking nauseam

resistance is feudal (WmC), Monday, 25 May 2009 13:58 (fifteen years ago) link

c'mon, ppl blow off steam. There are positive things on all those.

Dr Morbius, Monday, 25 May 2009 14:54 (fifteen years ago) link

Speaking as a neutral non-American who never really understood the whole Memorial Day Weekend thing, at least the jingoistic stuff (and Morbs' reaction to that specific thing) is over and done with as soon as the day finishes, whereas dudes like Hershiser will be spouting blahblahblah over mythical "clean lists" every day from now until we die.

NoTimeBeforeTime, Monday, 25 May 2009 16:54 (fifteen years ago) link

I fucking hate Rick Reilly so goddamned much.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 27 May 2009 00:11 (fifteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Latest gimmick, in tonight's game -- Schulman in the booth, Phillips sitting down at field level next to the Dodgers dugout, Hershiser sitting down by the Cards dugout. WTF?

Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:48 (fifteen years ago) link

hahahaha i know, it's really random. but whatever, they can't be any worse down there.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:49 (fifteen years ago) link

five months pass...

how tall is tim kurkjian

mookieproof, Monday, 11 January 2010 21:32 (fourteen years ago) link

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4066/4267267280_616fa92900_m.jpg

call all destroyer, Monday, 11 January 2010 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

yes that is "tim kurkjian height"

call all destroyer, Monday, 11 January 2010 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link

tim kurkjian heineken

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 11 January 2010 21:39 (fourteen years ago) link

see? i didn't want anyone to think it was that

call all destroyer, Monday, 11 January 2010 21:40 (fourteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

The Giants are new analyst Morgan Ensberg's choice for fifth-best team in MLB. The Mark DeRosa acquisition was huge. His choices for third/fourth/fifth-best starting rotation were, IIRC, Phillies, Rays, Rangers.

Andy K, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 21:08 (fourteen years ago) link

Ravech questioned the Giants' lack of power beyond Sandoval. Ensberg's reply was something like "Yes, DeRosa makes every team better."

Andy K, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link

lol wait morgan fuckin' ensberg is on espn now??

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 21:14 (fourteen years ago) link

He could be worse than Tino Martinez.

Andy K, Thursday, 11 February 2010 17:56 (fourteen years ago) link

i gotta say, if you get a guy who has JUST left the game, you better make sure he's like rodney harrison and does not give a fuck.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 11 February 2010 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link

the only ex-baseball player I've seen willing to trash guys is Mitch Williams

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 February 2010 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah i've only seen a bit of him but he's enjoyable.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 11 February 2010 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I wonder how this shows ratings have been affected by the diehard mlb fans tuning into mlb network.

mayor jingleberries, Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:22 (fourteen years ago) link

how soon before someone tries doing a show w/out ex-jocks?

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:24 (fourteen years ago) link

What, like PTL/Around the Horn?

mellow, dramatic (WmC), Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

hahah probably not that soon.

i actually like a lot of ex-player analysts, i think they bring some great perspective. but unfortunately none of the ones i like analyze baseball.

call all destroyer, Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:33 (fourteen years ago) link

no WmC, I meant no jocks OR shouty circus clowns.

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link

how many shows did Nate Silver do last year?

Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link

well, say what you mean, Herr Doktor (xp)

mellow, dramatic (WmC), Thursday, 11 February 2010 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link

six months pass...

"We interrupt the stretch run of this fascinating baseball season with something completely irrelevant, epically ridiculous and wildly unimportant. A most absurd streak quietly ended in 2010: For the first time since 1989, I no longer clip every box score of every baseball game from the nearest newspaper and tape each one into a spiral notebook, a daily task that I've estimated, at roughly 15 minutes per day, has cost me 40 days of my truly pathetic life."

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=kurkjian_tim&id=5420098

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0805/mlb_e_kurkjian11_600.jpg

no gut busting joke can change history (polyphonic), Saturday, 14 August 2010 21:57 (fourteen years ago) link

:-(

markers, Saturday, 14 August 2010 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link

derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Z S, Saturday, 14 August 2010 22:29 (fourteen years ago) link

If you got a system that helps you make a living, it doesn't matter how much it makes you look like a beaten-for-lunch-money-by-Liberace victim

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 15 August 2010 23:40 (fourteen years ago) link

schilling also had a good segment about strasburg on baseball tonight last night

J0rdan S., Saturday, 28 August 2010 22:23 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

HEY NOMAH -- "experience" don't mean shit in the postseason

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 02:44 (fourteen years ago) link

HEY KRUK, IS EVERYONE A "CLUTCH HITTER"?

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 02:46 (fourteen years ago) link

i know i'm not supposed to get angered by these guys but jp riccardi saying that cc is the al cy young because he plays in a tougher division w/ tougher line ups w/ the way that felix has pitched against nyy actually makes me want to cancel my cable

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 29 September 2010 02:49 (fourteen years ago) link

was hilar to hear Nomar try to say "sabermetric"

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 4 October 2010 02:38 (fourteen years ago) link

"Cybermuh-dih-duh-duh"

Andy K, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 01:48 (fourteen years ago) link

CHRIS SINGLETON STOP YELLING AT US

Andy K, Monday, 11 October 2010 17:33 (fourteen years ago) link

one year passes...

Read that URL as saying he did an impression of Divine

Godzilla vs. Rodan Rodannadanna (The Yellow Kid), Friday, 2 March 2012 05:40 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

a sidebar on jon lester tonight caused kruk to ramble at great length about baseball and cancer, including the fact that getting those (cancer-afflicted) kids on the field to meet some players would be better than any possible treatment

i know that's not what he meant, but he is about as incoherent an analyst as i've ever heard

mookieproof, Monday, 3 June 2013 04:11 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...
nine months pass...

he is about as incoherent an analyst as i've ever heard

mookieproof, Monday, 28 April 2014 02:06 (ten years ago) link

look for his new book I Ain't an Analyst, Lady

images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 April 2014 02:30 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

only saw the bottom of the ninth, but espn's use of nine (or whatever) commentators apparently only meant that each had only a moment to force his chosen cliches into the mix no matter what was going on in the game

mookieproof, Monday, 2 June 2014 03:38 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CNRD62vUsAAzIfW.png

mookieproof, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 16:09 (nine years ago) link

every time i think he can't get any goddamn worse

slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 16:13 (nine years ago) link

o man

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 16:25 (nine years ago) link

"It's said"

"true #'s"

Andy K, Tuesday, 25 August 2015 17:37 (nine years ago) link


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