holy shit, jose canseco said he's going to torture you and kill you!!
― Pontiac Driving Excitement (Z S), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link
*high five*
this is legitimately the best thing that's ever happened in my life
― jizzchin (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link
congrats--you are going to die, via Jose Canseco roid rage
― Mr. Que, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:50 (fourteen years ago) link
man kill u
― velko, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:51 (fourteen years ago) link
do you think he knows that the torture is supposed to come first?
― jizzchin (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link
:DDDDDDDDDDD
― how is "babby" horribly formed????? (k3vin k.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.uncoached.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/jose-canseco-6.jpg
― velko, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link
that was pretty good advice too!
― Are Slimes the Jews of monsterdom? (cankles), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:53 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2008/10/1014_jose_conseco_bn_tmz.jpg
― velko, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:55 (fourteen years ago) link
im thinking u need to come back at him w/a classic 'just sayin' style response
― ice cr?m, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:56 (fourteen years ago) link
lol he blocked me
― jizzchin (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:56 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.dallasnews.com/s/dws/spt/misc/history/stories/may/052693rang.jpg
― how is "babby" horribly formed????? (k3vin k.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:57 (fourteen years ago) link
jizzchin, low life child molester
― Mr. Que, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:57 (fourteen years ago) link
http://z.about.com/d/weirdnews/1/0/v/R/-/-/JoseCansecoMugShot.jpg
― velko, Saturday, 6 March 2010 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link
http://blacksportsonline.com/index/l80-2-719322.jpg
― ice cr?m, Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:01 (fourteen years ago) link
http://twitter.com/JoseCanseco/status/10090718491
― ice cr?m, Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link
^^blacksportsonline.com
xp
― how is "babby" horribly formed????? (k3vin k.), Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link
fierce, dude
― Fusty Moralizer (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link
LOLLLLLLLLLL
Nice work Jordan.
― t(o_o)t (ENBB), Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/jose-canseco-2006-mtv-movie-awards-boom-boom-room-gifting-suite-0skS7h.jpg
― velko, Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link
sub-custos?
― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 6 March 2010 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link
I lol'ed at that.
― Ballistic, Saturday, 6 March 2010 23:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Aww, I liked Custos.
― ice cr?m abdul-jabbar (Leee), Saturday, 6 March 2010 23:15 (fourteen years ago) link
http://twitter.com/JoseCanseco/status/10047017759
― am0n, Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:03 (fourteen years ago) link
That's awesome Jordan.
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:14 (fourteen years ago) link
I remember Jose signed my '88 Fleer. My only Jose moment.
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link
kind of sad but mostly sad
― sanskrit, Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:29 (fourteen years ago) link
CANSECO DROPPIN' KNOWLEDGE
― dr. william idol (dr g), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 12:19 (4 years ago)
― put your glans up for Detroit (haitch), Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:44 (fourteen years ago) link
I remember Jose signed my '88 Fleer. My only Jose moment
only baseball autograph I ever got was Sid Bream :/
― Ballistic, Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:48 (fourteen years ago) link
dude Sid Bream is 100% kvlt! lots of people have Canseco autografs but only the truest have Sid Bream!
― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Sunday, 7 March 2010 00:51 (fourteen years ago) link
I have a baseball card show dealer badge signed by Canseco. (saw him at a Bennigan's near Arlington Stadium after a game) He was very nice, and the blonde he was with had enormous boobs (I was 10, the boobs are pretty much all I remember of the experience).
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Sunday, 7 March 2010 01:31 (fourteen years ago) link
Just be glad you never got this autograph
http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/imagesdickpole.jpg
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 02:01 (fourteen years ago) link
ihttp://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/imagesdickpole.jpg
fuck, i give up (again!!)
How the fuck do you post pictures here?
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 02:02 (fourteen years ago) link
arrgg. happened last night in the vinyl board too
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 02:03 (fourteen years ago) link
― ice cr?m abdul-jabbar (Leee), Sunday, 7 March 2010 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link
why did the Mariners logo resemble satan's pitchfork?
― Ballistic, Sunday, 7 March 2010 02:56 (fourteen years ago) link
nevermind, I get the Neptune 'trident' reference now.....bah
and jess begat ethan and ethan begat deej and deej begat jordan s and jordan s begat von smack
― sanskrit, Sunday, 7 March 2010 03:45 (fourteen years ago) link
http://the115.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/josediginity3.jpg
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 04:03 (fourteen years ago) link
lol tmz breaking news picture..
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2008/10/1010_jose_bn_tmz_01.jpg
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 04:06 (fourteen years ago) link
I like first line of his bio
"1st member of the 40/40 club."
that there deserves..
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 04:19 (fourteen years ago) link
― van smack, Sunday, 7 March 2010 04:20 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm still loling about the fact that Jose Canseco makes threats to civilians on twitter.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M JOSE CANSECO!"
― Ballistic, Sunday, 7 March 2010 07:18 (fourteen years ago) link
omfg
― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Sunday, 7 March 2010 08:32 (fourteen years ago) link
trying not to wake the g/f with retardedlaughter!
did you get any correspondence from aggrieved jose canseco fans
― nakhchivan, Sunday, 7 March 2010 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link
haha no
i was tortured last night though
― jizzchin (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 7 March 2010 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
omigod only just opened this thread
Some sort of medal in order
― Tibetan 'buca the Dead (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 7 March 2010 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link
josejosejosejose
http://gfycat.com/NervousAdmiredCarp
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Monday, 15 June 2015 18:53 (nine years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKcl0McUwAEk3Bb.jpg
― 1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 18:10 (nine years ago) link
could that be the true manifestation of evil guide dog from that bizarro (and fascinating) thread you made ages ago that was recently bumped
― slothroprhymes, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 18:26 (nine years ago) link
i don't know, looks more like crazy eye dog to me
imagine waking up from a nap with that dog staring at you!
― 1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 18:31 (nine years ago) link
or even the canine.
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 18:33 (nine years ago) link
a linear combination of those faces made michael shannon
― an asteroid could hit the planet (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 18:36 (nine years ago) link
@JoseCanseco 2h2 hours agoCongrats to Junior the 3rd teammate off my Springfield Nuclear Power Plant team to make the Baseball Hall of Fame! hug for Mike Piazza too
@JoseCanseco 59m59 minutes agoIf I were a vampire I could play independent baseball for ever
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 January 2016 04:02 (eight years ago) link
there is little better than jose canseco using the subjunctive
― mookieproof, Thursday, 7 January 2016 05:02 (eight years ago) link
I'd forgotten that Wade Boggs was in the HOF!
― Sofialo Ren (Leee), Thursday, 7 January 2016 18:44 (eight years ago) link
you forgot he had 3010 hits?
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 January 2016 19:49 (eight years ago) link
Yes.
― Sofialo Ren (Leee), Thursday, 7 January 2016 19:55 (eight years ago) link
200 hits a season for like a million seasons in a row
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 7 January 2016 20:20 (eight years ago) link
wade boggs was probably had the best first 10 years of any third baseman in history
― k3vin k., Thursday, 7 January 2016 21:10 (eight years ago) link
maybe schmitty or mathews gives him a run there but yeah, he's a deserving HOFer
― k3vin k., Thursday, 7 January 2016 21:15 (eight years ago) link
he's 28th all-time by fWAR, 4th among 3B
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 7 January 2016 21:24 (eight years ago) link
led the majors in BA and OBP for 5 of his first 7 years, including 4 straight, dude was a machine
― k3vin k., Thursday, 7 January 2016 21:31 (eight years ago) link
I had to remove this thread from my bookmarks because the title was getting the Cranberries stuck in my head ;_;
― Very selfish, and very ironic (DJP), Tuesday, 12 January 2016 18:49 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/WgVCFpV.png
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 14 February 2016 00:37 (eight years ago) link
ONE OF US
― Andy K, Sunday, 14 February 2016 00:53 (eight years ago) link
i followed him based on this thread. i can't stop laughing but mainly everyone i know who likes sport finds this hilarious cos he was so famous that he was in a simpsons episode.
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 14 February 2016 01:00 (eight years ago) link
@JoseCanseco Oct 1Democracies are such a fragile thing and seem to age and deteriorate never being as good as they once were . Never reversing march to death
― The Hon. J. Piedmont Mumblethunder (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 October 2016 14:44 (seven years ago) link
deep!
― imho tep (sanskrit), Monday, 3 October 2016 17:16 (seven years ago) link
In 2018 blockchain will become mainstream knowledge understood by moron level and above— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 22, 2017
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:14 (six years ago) link
lol
― crüt, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:21 (six years ago) link
when you were having premarital sex, jose cans
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 02:43 (six years ago) link
Canseco Rule- once tweeted or discussed in media by Jose Canseco then the concept has become 'mainstream knowledge'.
― earlnash, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 10:07 (six years ago) link
I cannot believe David Ortiz aka Big Papi did not invite me to play in his golf tournament this weekend I'm one of the longest drivers in the world at 50 and over and one of the best golfers I could have helped him out with his charity does MLB still hold grudges against me— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 29, 2017
how will David Ortiz aka Big Papi respond
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 22:15 (six years ago) link
solid take
What is going on with all these politicians molesting women I've been molested by several women and never complained— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 12, 2017
― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 13:58 (six years ago) link
Hey little buddy @realDonaldTrump I am interested in United Nations leadership .dm me for ideas and confidential 90 day plan #readynow— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) October 9, 2018
― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 18:16 (five years ago) link
Aliens have been trying to teach us how to time travel but first we have to change our body composition which we are not willing to do we have tried with animals and it has failed— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) January 30, 2019
― omar little, Wednesday, 30 January 2019 17:43 (five years ago) link
Cloning is illegal that's why we cannot evolve into our next stage— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
― omar little, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:29 (five years ago) link
Once cloning is legal we will be able to purchase either bodies of ourselves in our Prime and once our shells get to old detach the brain and then apply to a new shell ot body..— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
In 50 years from now only the rich will be able to purchase a new body— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
New bodies will come with optional Android or robotic moving parts— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
― omar little, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:30 (five years ago) link
I have figured out a way to live an extra 30 years— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
One of many ways to live an extra 30 years is that you have to sleep in almost freezing temperatures— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
Another way to live 30 years longer if you must have sex at least 3 times a week— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2019
people who have figured out have to live an extra 30 years
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:38 (five years ago) link
he has the exact same energy as @Love_That_Goku
i have an encyclopedic knowledge of Dragonball canon and all you ask me is "does Krillin like anal" "does android 18 have a pussy" etc— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
all signs point to Android 18 having a functional reproductive system but once again this is not my business— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
NO Piccolo does not smoke weed— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
the way some of you people speak to me is disgusting. "hey Christian does piccolo smoke weed" "does Roshi fuck the turtle". just unreal— love_that_goku (@Love_that_Goku) September 24, 2016
― frogbs, Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:40 (five years ago) link
everybody knows there are many ways to live 30 years longer, but here's a tricky constraint: I must have sex at least 3 times a week.
― say it with sausages (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 7 February 2019 20:53 (five years ago) link
Watching World of Dance watching J.Lo text Alex Rodriguez little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica poor girl she has no idea who he really is— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of shit stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019
― frogbs, Monday, 11 March 2019 18:56 (five years ago) link
https://t.co/CXErAtc0aw...... you lied to defend that piece of shit Jessica I told you to not open up that can of worms time to polygraph and tell the truth now— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 13, 2019
― omar little, Wednesday, 13 March 2019 18:43 (five years ago) link
i'm not sure what's happening, but only 26 to go
30 minutes...— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 15:34 (three years ago) link
The September collection is finally live 🎉only 50 of each item ⚡️https://t.co/K6yOzJ3VTP pic.twitter.com/FbPaDq95T4— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
loooool
who would have guessed it was a countdown to new merch
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:03 (three years ago) link
wait!!!
that wasn’t the big news.. give me 5 minutes— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 6, 2021
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:04 (three years ago) link
coffee
― brimstead, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:18 (three years ago) link
i knew jose canseco wouldn't let me down
― Karl Malone, Monday, 6 September 2021 16:19 (three years ago) link
merry Christmas to everyone And a happy New Year Well almost everyone— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) December 25, 2022
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 25 December 2022 16:09 (one year ago) link