ANNOUNCEMENT - CALL FOR PITCHES - MAX AND LAMP FILM PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC

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attn: movie lovers

as per this thread: kind of pointless, mostly dreamy, entirely emo thread about being stuck at work @ 7:35 pm EST

ilc rookie of the year "lamp" and i are starting a film production company based in new york and los angeles

we are currently accepting ideas for our premiere movie--please post a 50-200 wd pitch to this thread for consideration. you should cast the movie with your dream actors--no guarantees we will be able to sign those actors

this is not a joke

max, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 15:54 (ten years ago) link

a sleeper style sex comedy abt a lady sexologist who becomes erotically obsessed w/one of her test subjects. shes a well adjusted intelligent successful woman w/a great love life - hes a strangely attractive weirdo who helps her get in touch w/the icky dark catholic side of her sexuality - which of course she finds way hotter. this brings into question her whole worldview - so she turns to science to sort things out...

relevant reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?hp=&pagewanted=all

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:17 (ten years ago) link

not sure abt the casting yet - id love spike jonze to direct tho

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:23 (ten years ago) link

if i ever get to new york i will show you two the treatment for my awesome bong hit emo scifi movie. we got the final round of the sundance science funding competition a couple of weeks.

this is not a joke.

you guys can produce it if you can attach bubs from the wire for us.

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:31 (ten years ago) link

a couple of weeks ago.

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:31 (ten years ago) link

i really want to write my movie too - this is not a joke - tho it does contain many jokes

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:33 (ten years ago) link

btw why dont u just post yr treatment here caek

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:34 (ten years ago) link

you can write the script on spec

max, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:34 (ten years ago) link

the first step is to spend many years reading screenwriting books and futzing around with Final Draft or Montage.

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:34 (ten years ago) link

i will gladly show it you in person once i have cased you and checked you are not straight up mentally ill, but we have to keep it confidential while we are courting producers.

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:35 (ten years ago) link

no one reads ilc itll be cool

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:36 (ten years ago) link

haha, lj reads it and he cannot be trusted with his connections to britain's media elite

the art/design section contains these images though, which are pretty cool imo:

http://www.krjda.com/images/UnionCarbide_1.jpg

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/03/02/nyregion/02rlandmark-600.jpg

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:37 (ten years ago) link

do you see it going in in your film jh0? this is important.

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:38 (ten years ago) link

im so serious about this pitch ima googleproof it:

adaptation of henry gr33n's 'p4rty g01ng' starring some posh brit actors and more importantly imo actresses.

boom.

display name fatigue (special guest stars mark bronson), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:39 (ten years ago) link

yah thatd be ideal - maybe just on the unrated dvd tho - rules and all u know xp

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:39 (ten years ago) link

do you have the option nrq?

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:41 (ten years ago) link

Love Sucks: A Story of a Boy and His Vacuum Cleaner

My tragic tale of love and death goes like this: Lester Jackson and his Dyson vacuum cleaner, of the houses of Jackson and Dyson, are sworn enemies. The opening scene finds Larry, Moe, and Curly (of the Dyson family), quarreling with Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting (of the Jackson family). This turns into a full-out brawl, which disturbs the citizens, and brings the prince in to yell at them. Later that night, Lester and Dyson meet at a party in the Dyson mansion, and instantly fall in love. Lester sings a song to Dyson and later that night they meet in the Dyson orchard, and plan to be married the next morning. Their union is made, but soon ruined, as Lester gets suggest banned, and is banished from Tombotia. After he leaves, Dyson learns she is to marry an Electrolux (as no one around them knew they were married). She is devestated, and her and the ILC crew form a plan. But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

Mr. Que, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:44 (ten years ago) link

these are my sons Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting...

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:45 (ten years ago) link

all pitches should end with your final sentence, xp

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:46 (ten years ago) link

brings the prince in to yell at them

i assume here u meant the write "prince tombot"

max, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:51 (ten years ago) link

u assume correctly

Mr. Que, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 16:53 (ten years ago) link

fyi i have actually no joke successfully produced several short films okay "successfully" is a stretch but the did get made and shown and secure ppl real actual jobs making SPIDERMAN films

Lamp, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 17:55 (ten years ago) link

so what i'm saying is keep these genious ideas coming...

Lamp, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 17:56 (ten years ago) link

o i think we can do better than spidermans come on folks

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 17:57 (ten years ago) link

I was watching eraserhead commentaries and lynch said he really began the film by calling up vets and having them send him dead cats to experiment with

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 17:58 (ten years ago) link

uh oh i'm having visions

Lamp, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 18:00 (ten years ago) link

more pitches!

caek, Tuesday, 3 February 2009 22:18 (ten years ago) link

someone should just do a movie version of baron in the trees or something

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 22:42 (ten years ago) link

probably will make a shitload of money

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 22:42 (ten years ago) link

hahahaha A+ thread :D

NRQ's pitch is one that he and I have actually discussed in person, when I brought up an extract from P4rty G01ng I'd been made to analyse, and he was all "amazing novel, I wanna make a film of it"! Trust me fellas, his ideas for it are excellent, although they DO involve Keira Knightley.

Lester Jackson, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 12:16 (ten years ago) link

Also, Caek, NRQ has more connections to B's ME than I do :P and I am intrigued about your film. One day you must let me have a peek!

Lester Jackson, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 12:18 (ten years ago) link

Btw, I am so serious about MY one ima googleproof it too:

A psychedelic, maybe even slightly rotoscoped modern adaptation of S1gmund Fr3ud's PLOT SYNOPSIS (not analysis) of J3ns3n's "Gr4div4". It's a tripped-out psychological love-story that could leave Eternal Sunshine in the dust if done right, all fucked-up mental psychogeography and deep-seated unconscious obsession. Bunuel's directing-style should have an influence, and there will be plenty of incidental "environment" shots. Most of the film will be set among the modern ruins of P0mpeii, so blistering Mediterranean sunshine and heat-warped senses will be portrayed through hyper-realisation of lighting effects.

Lester Jackson, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 12:27 (ten years ago) link

Working title: Sno Globe
Targeted release: Late Spring 2010

Workout fanatic and single mom Liberty Chase (the girl from Transformers) manages a small gift boutique in Valencia. One morning while dropping her kid (blonde, a boy) off at a school a group of thugs attempts to kidnap her. Using her skills developed as an Olympic gymnast she escapes but they manage to snatch her kid. Meanwhile LAPD detective Frank Joe (someone tough) is inches away from nailing the case against druglord 'Bent' Martinez (latino dude from ice age). But 'Bent' has plans of his own, including putting whoever is importing coke in novelty sno globes "on ice".

What follows is a realtime threeway thriller in which Liberty races against time to rescue her son from the murky underworld and uncover some brutal truths about L.A., the company she works for and herself. The old man from Babe stars as Senator Thorton Kincaid III

Lamp, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:41 (ten years ago) link

do you have the option nrq?

― caek, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 5:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah right.

need some SEED MONEY from messrs max and lamp to get this mofo moving.

special guest stars mark bronson, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:44 (ten years ago) link

After watching Frost/Nixon, came up with the idea for:

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:55 (ten years ago) link

working title: "Dart Attack"

max, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:57 (ten years ago) link

Arrow and Wealdstone

^^^britishes gag

Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:57 (ten years ago) link

Flight of Fantasy ("flights" are the correct name for the little sticky out bits on darts!)

Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 14:58 (ten years ago) link

Jolly Oche Sticks

america is the only _______ that _______ (country matters), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:00 (ten years ago) link

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

i like this, but why not set it in the music section of a broadsheet newspaper?

special guest stars mark bronson, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:00 (ten years ago) link

one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend

mike skinner in his film debut

The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers

ray winstone gunning for an oscar

max, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:02 (ten years ago) link

If the film had been made 40 years earlier, Peter Vaughan would be a lock for the latter role. Maybe he could play his father?

Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:05 (ten years ago) link

maybe one of you can work up an idea i've got about a young woman who works as a tv psychic who discovers she actually IS psychic maybe right after her longtime bf breaks up with her? i'm thinking it's a slightly bawdy but heartfelt and smart comedy

Lamp, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:06 (ten years ago) link

of-our-time harrowing many POV drama following separate-yet-linked psycho killing sprees worldwide due to the making public of an internet secret message board. directing style: that one movie with salma hayek, or maybe 24. starring the kid from star wars internet clip, jeff goldblum as some school counsellor, and cameo appearance from HOOS as a hotel worker that just can't take it anymore(possibly channelling michael douglas in 'falling down', but would welcome any input the actor could bring into the role).

Redknapp out (darraghmac), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:08 (ten years ago) link

Working Title: Untitled [Is there a semi-classic Motown song about being psychic that we could use here? **Assign intern to research]
Release Date: Valentine's Day 2010

Anne Stanley (Amy Adams) has spent most of her life telling people what they want to hear. As Chicago's most popular TV psychic, she's gained popularity by predicting good fortune and cheer to her thousands for viewers. But when one of her predictions results in the death of a retired fireman (too heavy? needs to be focus grouped), the city turns against her and she loses her job, her boyfriend Charles (Josh Lucas), and her apartment all in one night. Wandering the chilly Chicago streets well after midnight, she's struck by lightning, and, upon waking, discovers that she actually can see the future--with hilarious results! But even as she profits (in more ways than one, wink wink) from her newfound powers, she foresees a terrible disaster--a mega-tornado coming to wreak havoc over the city! There's just one problem: no one believes her--except for the sexy fireman grandson (Grey's Anatomy's "McSteamy") of the man she inadvertently killed! The odd-couple pair must race against time--and against their growing attraction to one another--to save Chicago! The movie ends with Anne losing her psychic powers, and maybe being pregnant.

max, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:17 (ten years ago) link

notes: needs cameo by miss cleo as one of anne stanleys sucker clients - a post credits scene hinting that her baby is psychic

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:20 (ten years ago) link

obv. discovering-powers scene is followed by upbeat montage of her using her powers, with sexy/fun results

max, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:22 (ten years ago) link

Suggested soundtrack for montage: "Magical Mystery Tour" covered by (research available powerpop acts, are Click Five still going?)

Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:23 (ten years ago) link

The movie is set in Los Angeles, a city with a cultural mix of every nationality. The story begins when several people are involved in a multi-car accident. From that point, we are taken back to the day before the crash, seeing the lives of several characters, and the problems each encounters during that day. An LAPD cop is trying to get medical help for his father, but he is having problems with a black HMO clerk who won't give his father permission to see another doctor. He in turn takes out his frustration on a black couple during a traffic stop. A socialite and District Attorney are carjacked at gunpoint by two black teenagers. She takes out her anger on a Mexican locksmith who is changing the door locks to their home. Later that night, the locksmith is again robbed of his dignity by a Persian store-owner. Many of the characters switch from being bad-person-to-hero in ways that may surprise you.

k3vin k., Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:26 (ten years ago) link

hey kevin? thanks for your "contribution" but maybe you missed this part of the original post:

this is not a joke

max, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 15:27 (ten years ago) link

hmmnph if i ever get freebies to a cricket match again i'll let u know but i imagine the irlj experience is probably too intense for delicate souls like yrs truly

journey to the end of nyt (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:26 (eight years ago) link

haha

am generally pretty low-maintenance + coyly affable IRL and not terrifying (ppl are free to dispute this btw) - think on it dude, you seem A+ sound

acoleuthic, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:34 (eight years ago) link

i feel like coy is a thing you cannot call yourself. like, other people can observe that you're coy but if you call yourself coy it makes me wonder.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:38 (eight years ago) link

not coy--"coyly affable"

max, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:39 (eight years ago) link

"affable, in a coy manner"

max, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:39 (eight years ago) link

i thought about that and i am not sure what it means frankly, but still

horseshoe, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:40 (eight years ago) link

it was a sort of deliberate oxymoron? idk. you're right.

acoleuthic, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:41 (eight years ago) link

LJ: COYLY AFFABLE S01E01 script

LJ sits crosslegged in front of the fly-ridden corpse of a coyote, clutching antique winchester rifle and staring unblinkingly into the camera for some 10 seconds w/ blood stripes under his eyes

INTERTITLE; THE IMPOSSIBILITY OF DEATH IN THE MIND OF SOMEONE LIVING

LJ: THIS is my story, and all thee who bear witness to it shall know my glory, for terra incognito is but an enticement to my kind [etc]

journey to the end of nyt (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:48 (eight years ago) link

:D x1000000

acoleuthic, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 00:53 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

inspired by reading this piece goole linked on the Giffords shooting thread: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/print/2011/01/is-jared-loughner-a-white-house-case/69348/

"White House Case" is the term of art used by psychiatrists since the at least the 1960s to describe a distinct subset of the mentally ill who become psychotically preoccupied with the inhabitants of the White House or other government offices.

The White House Case (dark comedy)

Over the years, the psych ward at St. Elizabeth's Hospital's in Washington DC has collected a rag-tag bunch of patients, all committed for exhibiting a peculiar (though not violent) obsession with various US presidents. A group of 5 such patients have over the years formed a close fraternal bond while spending their years in the ward together, each having been committed for their unhealthy obsession with a different late-20th century US president.

One night, they catch wind that some staff at St. Elizabeth's are actually being using their employment as a cover for their membership in a clandestine rogue terrorist group planning on assassinating the current US president. As the only people in the world capable of stopping this plot, they must band together to break out of St. Elizabeth's, warn the authorities of this plot, convince anyone they can that they're not crazy, and save the president's life.

I see this being Eddie Murphy's "comeback" performance as the Regan-obsessed patient.

gr8080, Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:28 (eight years ago) link

love it

max, Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:31 (eight years ago) link

lets start preproduction next month

max, Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:31 (eight years ago) link

coen bros, i'm hearing coen bros?

Sweet pitch

all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:34 (eight years ago) link

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/comment_ty.gif

gr8080, Thursday, 13 January 2011 21:51 (eight years ago) link

Sean Penn movie about the guy who wanted to crash his plane into Nixon died a quick death

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 January 2011 22:08 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

screenplay writes itself:

According to Ike Hoover, the White House valet for more than forty years, Coolidge was the meanest of the presidents, taken to playing cruel practical jokes on the Secret Service and domestic help.

― My mom is all about capital gains tax butthurtedness (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:16 (19 minutes ago) Permalink

In a bold move, I'm seeing Rob Corddry as Coolidge- thoughts?

gr8080, Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:41 (eight years ago) link

not to make all my pitches about the white house or anything

gr8080, Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:42 (eight years ago) link

love it

ban drake (the rapper) (max), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:50 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

after a night of drunken revelry & just-the-guys trash talking mason bennett (ryan reynolds) beats his childhood buddy tom gruterberg (jay broach) $100,000 that he could never sleep with the famously unlucky in love actress kella heart (isla fisher). determined to prove himself and win the money he needs to start his waterrafting magazine from the wealthy mason tom takes the challenge and begins to woo kella, who is town filming a movie. can tom manage to win the girl's heart? and will mason pay up if he does? find out next february in one in a million

Lamp, Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:25 (eight years ago) link

just once i should try rereading my posts before i hit 'submit post' huh

Lamp, Thursday, 23 June 2011 04:26 (eight years ago) link

love it.

can we get eric roberts in a "washed up old guy who still drops some sage advice" role?

gr8080, Thursday, 23 June 2011 05:10 (eight years ago) link

In 1939 the British entomologist Dr. T. T. Macan (Rip Torn) took seven pages of a scientific journal to describe the migration of aquatic insects which colonized a reflecting pool around a new ornamental fountain. When a plucky, and rare, white sparrow named Huckleberry (David Spade) arrives a year later to discover Macan's research has taken a dangerous turn that could have huge consequences for the entire garden, Huck's only hope is to try and alert the scientific community with the help from some familiar friends, a Beaver, Skunk and Bear (all played by Eddie Murphy). Find out in 2012 if the grass stays greener on The other side in White Paper

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 23 June 2011 05:50 (eight years ago) link

seven months pass...

there should be a sci-fi movie about time gypsies aka time travelers who venture back and forth through time conning people

― omar little, Thursday, January 19, 2012 11:22 AM (1 week ago

⚓ (gr8080), Friday, 27 January 2012 05:26 (seven years ago) link

nine months pass...

bio-pic with the Wilson brothers playing the Wilson brothers:

http://i.imgur.com/U1nyn.jpg

PTA could really nail the so-cal vibes that would be necessary for this project

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 04:47 (six years ago) link

three months pass...

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

kill yuppies (Lamp), Thursday, 21 February 2013 01:13 (six years ago) link

Movie about a freed slave bounty hunter that doesn't have ilx cry into its collective blankie

lance armstrong will have been delighted (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 February 2013 01:57 (six years ago) link

a romcom abt a guy running 'the game' and a girl using 'the rules' against each other

lag∞n, Friday, 1 March 2013 20:16 (six years ago) link

i love it.

charlie sheen cameo is a must.

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Saturday, 2 March 2013 02:01 (six years ago) link

dystopian futurescape, voiceover 'i never knew my parents, they died in the singularity, i just have this one video' video projected on wall is of a lady talking at sxsw, its mom, fn blogger asks question, its dad

lag∞n, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 20:23 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

The tale of the world's first Bitcoin billionaire.

its Hackers meets Wall Street for gen Y

❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Friday, 5 April 2013 14:54 (six years ago) link

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

― kill yuppies (Lamp), Wednesday, February 20, 2013 7:13 PM (1 month ago)

bump.

ְ֮֠֓֟֬֩ (gr8080), Thursday, 18 April 2013 15:34 (six years ago) link

eight months pass...

guys we really should have been on this first:

http://i.imgur.com/bJkITn8.jpg

|$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Sunday, 5 January 2014 21:38 (five years ago) link

wow i loved space jam

lag∞n, Sunday, 5 January 2014 21:42 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

NSFW: http://gawker.com/the-chris-christie-gangbang-sex-tape-that-wasnt-nsfw-1543352886

During the course of this research, he read somewhere that some mob families would occasionally initiate new members by forcing them to engage in acts of group sex (generally multiple male partners on one woman), and filming them. The idea, I guess, is a "team building" exercise that could also serve as a convenient blackmail tool if the need for leverage were to arise.

working title: "Just one of the Gang"

three schlubby would-be mob underlings and best friends in 1980's new jersey find themselves forced to have sex on camera with the same woman to show allegiance to a powerful mob family. but what happens when we discover one of them is a virgin and another falls in love with her? will stage fright get them before The Family does? find out in this raucous campy sex comedy.

i'm thinking alexandra daddario in the female lead and we're in talks with jody hill to direct

°ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 19 March 2014 16:33 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/DG8jzYa.jpg

lag∞n, Wednesday, 19 March 2014 16:51 (five years ago) link

jimmy fallon and adam sandler make cameos as capos (in fat suits, obv)

°ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 19 March 2014 18:55 (five years ago) link

six months pass...

Kickstarter for a movie in which Ben Savage runs a Kickstarter promising a 'Boy Meets World' movie but runs off with the cash

― ILX preorders SPYRO for Playstation (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, September 25, 2014 5:50 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Sunday, 28 September 2014 01:43 (four years ago) link

one year passes...

michael j fox goes back in time to 1940 to kill hitler. while fleeing from hitler youth bullies, fox accidentally runs over his grandfather joachim von ribbentrop on his bike. ribbentrop is hospitalized and, in his absence, his lookalike grandson is mistaken for him and finds himself in a negotiation with a molotov-led soviet delegation. fox and molotov hit it off over their mutual love of baseball and, before he realizes what he has done, fox has brought the soviet union into the axis. fox looks at a photo of a bagel in his wallet and realizes it is gradually disappearing. time is running out for fox to convince hitler to launch operation barbarossa.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 9 November 2015 20:39 (three years ago) link

four months pass...

i had a terrible romantic comedy idea last night.

Two lovers register to be organ donors. Tragically they both die at a young age. Their eyes (or corneas, at least, although if this took place in the near future maybe it would be the entire eye) are transplanted into two other people, strangers, who of course run into each other on the street, look into each others' eyes, and fall in love at first sight. BUT, they really don't get along with each other and soon break up. but soon after, one of them is trapped in a fire and the other one happens to be there and saves their life. they get back together and this time have a child. but the old personality conflicts return as the realities of a dead-end job and extended postpartum depression set in. they go through marriage counseling, and it turns out the counselor was the former doorman for the apartment where the original eye donors briefly lived. he recognizes their eyes, but he can't say anything because it turns out that he was secretly in love with one of the donators. and looking at those corneas again, all these years later, he realizes he's still in love with her. he can never bring himself to say anything about it, but he does successfully sabotage their marriage. later they run into each other at a bar and he tries to see if there's a spark there between them, but there really isn't much there. he's very drunk, and ends up telling her that he sabotaged their marriage, not through anything that he said per se, but definitely by not saying what he should have said in his marriage counselor role. the eye donation receivers once again get back together, but this time they begin fighting from the first instant they reunite. they fight and fight, but by this time they're pretty old and there's little chance of finding anyone else out there and they'd rather not be alone, so they just stay together and talk about their eyeballs.

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, March 2, 2016 4:41 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gr8080, Thursday, 10 March 2016 16:59 (three years ago) link

Ah god that's amazing

Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:02 (three years ago) link

lol

lag∞n, Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:17 (three years ago) link

damn from a doorman to a marriage counselor, good for him

johnny crunch, Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:20 (three years ago) link

eternal sunshine of the spotless retina

Laertiades (imago), Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:23 (three years ago) link

someone give me $300 and i'll make it. making a film can't be that hard, you just grab a camera and point a light at people, let them talk, do a little editing, close up of an eyeball, there's nothing to it

Karl Malone, Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:24 (three years ago) link

L.A. Jetee

Laertiades (imago), Thursday, 10 March 2016 17:26 (three years ago) link

splicing up eyeballs

gr8080, Thursday, 10 March 2016 18:39 (three years ago) link

im working on film script abt corporate espionage in the pharmaceutical industry

extremely online (Lamp), Thursday, 10 March 2016 23:18 (three years ago) link

i like yr idea though z_s

extremely online (Lamp), Thursday, 10 March 2016 23:18 (three years ago) link

one year passes...

hows the script coming Lamp

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 17:00 (one year ago) link


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