MORMONS

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fuck it. what is with these sons of bitches and how do i never go back?

strgn, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 09:06 (ten years ago) Permalink

abbbbotttt?

strgn, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 09:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

Do they own you? Were you baptised? Ar you now part of their elephant graveyard, where elders stop by your place intermittently to pick up your bones and trumpet at you? Do you just have pesky missionaries? Are you dating a Mormon? I have all your answers!

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 14:51 (ten years ago) Permalink

do you think that "mormpwnd" has any chance of becoming an internet sensation?

BLACK BEYONCE, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Unfortunately, not so much.

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:13 (ten years ago) Permalink

There were lots of Mormon math grads when I was in grad school. Some more observant than others. One friend of mine quit the church, and another good dude said that he was still "faithful" but he wasn't 100% sure about everything the church teaches. That experience helped me to realize that Mormons aren't cultist robots, but just normal humans.

This isn't to say that the Mormon religion isn't a totally bizarre religion, but all the others are pretty weird in themselves too.

libcrypt, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

I used to tease them about the rumor (???) that Mormons have to get married naked.

libcrypt, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

they're called temple garments

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

The Emperor's New Garments.

libcrypt, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 15:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

They're polyester onesies for the men and a long, white polyester Little House on the Prarie-style dress for the ladies. Temple clothes, not garments, which are 'magic undies' lolz yeah whatevs. IF you are getting married in the temple, of course you come in clothed! Sillypants.

Dude varietal:

https://www.dressedinwhite.com/diw_image/men.jpg

Women's dresses

UNDER which are 'garments' and then after they're all wedded, which involved kneeling for an unfeasibly long time in a mirrored room while a dude talks at you, then reception time where a guy usually wears normal clothes and a woman wears a fancier wedding dress that doesn't show any shoulder (a little freer than, as you can see, the women's temple dresses, which would be worn to any temple visit & not just a marriage).

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

This is a slip. A slip for under your dress:

http://whiteelegance.com/catalog/images/1031-cap-sleeve-slip-s.jpg

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

mirrored room? i thought that was for the honeymoon

carne asada, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.ldsapparel.com/Jessica400.jpg http://www.ldsapparel.com/Angela400.jpg http://www.ldsapparel.com/Breelynn500.jpg

This is how everyone will be dressed in HEAVEN. Srsly! They'll all be wearing temple clothes!

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

i would have sex with all of this whit girls

carne asada, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

in heaven!

carne asada, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

IN HEAVEN...EVERYTHING IS FINE

http://stores.crowningjewelapparel.com/catalog/newestbethanylg.jpg

Abbott, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 22:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethcanphoto/2232168456/

slecked, Wednesday, 25 June 2008 23:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

i didn't know nancy pelosi was LDS

velko, Thursday, 26 June 2008 02:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

$35 ain't bad for a wedding dress!

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 26 June 2008 15:38 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wonder if gabbneb thinks those temple clothes for the women are too risque.

felicity, Friday, 27 June 2008 20:25 (ten years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

thaking fokfs for tis!!!!!!!!!!!!! thxxkaq!!!!!!!!!

strgn, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 07:30 (ten years ago) Permalink

MORANS

Ol Bertie Dastard, Tuesday, 5 August 2008 01:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

hey i have a question!

i am reading under the banner of heaven right now and i am not done yet but woah. i mean, i realize that the people discussed in this book are extremists, but one of the extremists discussed was the founder of mormonism! how do mormons feel about krakauer and the book? also, do normal (by which i mean not fundamentalist) mormons think smith was wrong about the polygamy deal? do they think he was wrong about anything else?

tehresa, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 01:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wanna know, too.

RabiesAngentleman, Thursday, 28 August 2008 03:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

abbbbotttt?

Suggest Ban Permalink
― strgn, Wednesday, June 25, 2008 2:07 AM Bookmark

peace, love, and ban deeznuts (The Reverend), Friday, 12 September 2008 08:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

There's this Mormon dude dating a cousin of mine, and he'd obviously be a crazy party dude if he wasn't Mormon. Actually I think he already is, he just binge drinks water.

clotpoll, Saturday, 13 September 2008 16:12 (ten years ago) Permalink

Answer for tehresa:

Under the Banner of Heaven is fucking awesome, it is. And it's kind of known, by Mormons who know it, as one of those untouchable books that you should never read.

As for mod-ren Mormons and polygamy: technically, if Joseph Smith or another Mormon prophet "revealed" something, it was true and the real word of God and a commandment, and always will be. So the story is, polygamy eventually ended in Salt Lake City (after Smith was dead no less) because it was "revealed" that the world wasn't yet ready for it – ie the majority of the populous was too base and unspiritual to understand it. (Same reasoning applied to the ending of J. Smith's weird earlier experiment in communism.)

That means the commandment of polygamy will eventually be reinstated on earth, according to Mormon doctrine. For example, I was told in seminary that after the apocalypse/armageddon, six in seven of the men will have died fighting against evil. You have to be married in the temple to get to the ultimate level of Heaven, so polygamy will have to be reinstated so every woman can get married in the temple. Seven girls for every boy!

Abbott loves her turtle (Abbott), Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:47 (ten years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

Total Abbott-bait (I hope): Two posts from a great professor I took in college discussing Mormon + Orthodox Jewry associations.

http://kavvanah.wordpress.com/2011/03/15/orthodox-big-love-for-mormons/
http://kavvanah.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/mormons-and-orthodox-judaism-part-ii/

The second one is an interview with Mark Paredes (the Mormon author of the column “Jews and Mormons")

Mordy, Thursday, 28 April 2011 12:01 (seven years ago) Permalink

!!!

offee is for losers only, do you not c? (Abbbottt), Friday, 29 April 2011 00:14 (seven years ago) Permalink


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