Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

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I know we all love to waste our lives inside the black box but there is only so much you can tolerate. This is a negative thread so please be that.

Youth (Paolo Sorrentino, 2015)
Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman, 2015) - this looks terrible
Hail, Ceasar! (Coen bros., 2015) - a cast to avoid

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:10 (three years ago) link

I was just thinking this about Anomalisa, like ten minutes ago

Laertiades (imago), Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:13 (three years ago) link

I will not allow myself to watch A Bigger Splash. Not that trailers are remotely an indication of how good a film is going to be, but the trailer for this is so pervasively nauseating that it would be a triumph of editing were it somehow to not reflect accurately.

tangenttangent, Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:24 (three years ago) link

Now that awards season is over, I no longer feel like my avoidance of The Revenant, The Big Short, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room and The Martian is that big of a deal, so I'll just continue quietly avoiding them now.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 14:20 (three years ago) link

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:08 (three years ago) link

teh danish girl
steve jobs
hateful 8

johnny crunch, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:13 (three years ago) link

o yea room also def

johnny crunch, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:17 (three years ago) link

Brooklyn

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:19 (three years ago) link

A War! Fuck that propagandistic crap.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:19 (three years ago) link

Youth was a shade less revolting than The Danish Girl; both movies you can point and laugh at.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:24 (three years ago) link

will avoid:
Oliver Stone's Snowden thing
X-Men XVIII or whatever
Independence Day 2
Star Trek XXXVIII or whatever
Eastwood/Sully
Magnificent Seven remake
Harry Potter spinoff
Star Wars spinoff

will wait for streaming:
Zootopia
Deadpool, maybe
Finding Another Fish

WilliamC, Sunday, 6 March 2016 16:33 (three years ago) link

I thought I was pretty positive & unpicky about films but pretty much everything listed so far I am either avoiding or wish I had avoided

I think the sole exception is Independence Day which I will proooobably see one day even though it looks extremely terrible

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:07 (three years ago) link

Anything Terrence Malick puts out. I have come to accept the fact I find his films shallow and boring, and can no longer be bothered to try.

(I mean, I rarely go to the cinema to catch new films anyway but I don't really see that as actively avoiding films, just... failing to go to the cinema.)

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:27 (three years ago) link

Oh right, now that Oscarbait season is done, Deadpool is thing I give the least shit about.

Might only watch Stone's Snowden thing because of JGL, but still a big maybe.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:41 (three years ago) link

emil.y, I'm with you on Malick (after Thin Red Line).

WilliamC, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:23 (three years ago) link

what movies have you willingly watched recently that would make you reconsider the actively avoid list by comparison?
(my having watched zoolander2 means I can't really have an actively avoid list anymore)

Philip Nunez, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:44 (three years ago) link

how is malick "shallow"? of all the ways to go at the guy...

circa1916, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:58 (three years ago) link

I don't think he's shallow, more like he's got these few things to say and repeats them ad nauseum. I will avoid the new one.

stanley krubrick (rip van wanko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:04 (three years ago) link

This is supposed to be a solely negative thread, so no defending! Though I guess to me 'shallow' = I appreciate the look of his films but the underlying messages and themes completely fail to resonate with me. I just get nothing deeper than 'oh, I guess that's quite pretty'. You might get something more, but I find myself unmoved.

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:04 (three years ago) link

all of them

mookieproof, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:49 (three years ago) link

Thirding the Malick disdain. Tree of Life felt achingly empty to me. I cannot gel with his very measured, almost clinically literary tone, and don't understand his emotional palette at all. I keep falling for the hype that surrounds him, but I don't think it will happen again.

tangenttangent, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:54 (three years ago) link

As usual, you put it much better than I can. I often love "achingly empty" films, but that's normally when the emptiness is intentional. Whereas Malick seems to be desperately trying to impart something, but when I look I find nothing.

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:01 (three years ago) link

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

― Frederik B, Sunday, March 6, 2016 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The reason for this thread is that a friend & I were going to see it and then got there and it was sold out. We were both dreading it, knowing it was going to be complete and utter shit but liking some of his previous work.

Another friend dragged me to A Bigger Splash! and it was so banal - this barely disguised ad for the Italian tourist industry (even if good things don't happen) so you should avoid it if you can.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:14 (three years ago) link

The even bigger reason is that 2016 has been terrible for films. Rams by Grímur Hákonarson looks like this quirky Icelandic film I just don't care for. The Revenant is a complete fkn joke.

In parallel the BFI has been running a Godard season and his work from the 70s onwards (never mind the 60s) has been putting everybody to shame.

Dreading the end of this (next week is the last of it). If I am able to I always like going to the cinema.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:23 (three years ago) link

I know we aren't suppose to defend film, but Rams is delightful... If you all didn't see Of Horses and Men by Benedikt Erlingsson, you need to do that as well, and they're kinda the same film.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:33 (three years ago) link

dunno if something can be both quirky and viscerally crushing but this is a thread of hatred so on we go. obv i am never watching The Revenant ever

Laertiades (imago), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:34 (three years ago) link

Even though I set-up the thread no one needs to follow all the rules (not that there are any hard-and-fast rules) so yeah defend if you happen to watch and like it. Obviously I'm saying 'no way' on the basis of a trailer or a review of it or what I hear about it. xp

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:37 (three years ago) link

The rams trailer made it look like quirky deadpan comedy but it's like straight tragedy. I liked it, probably in large part because it wasn't the former - as we were leaving my friend said "imagine if that had been a British film" and we both shuddered at the thought of the fucking michael gambon rhys ifans bullshit that would be

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:42 (three years ago) link

youth really was pretty bad -- glacial male-artist sorrow (certainly the end of something or other, one would sort of have to think), that one guy who only plays quivering bureaucrats as a quivering bureaucrat, all dialogue clearly written but not spoken in esl which gave the whole movie such a stilted uncanny feeling i almost liked it. liked the giant marx tattoo i guess.

anomalisa was perfect on its own extremely limited and unpleasant terms.

the coens have been at the top of their career since burn after reading so i am very excited for this obviously slight one.

anyway, deadpool.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:52 (three years ago) link

The Revenant, The Danish Girl, the Dakota Fanning trans boy movie, most of the foreseeable superhero movies, Zoolander 2

one way street, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:56 (three years ago) link

all of them

― mookieproof, Sunday, March 6, 2016 12:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm.

I am the Joey Chestnut of avoiding movies

lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:58 (three years ago) link

had no idea stone was making a snowden movie; that's unnecessary. idk if there's a scene in oliver stone's whole oeuvre better than the fire alarm sequence in citizenfour unless it's the one where joe pesci's wig comes off.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:01 (three years ago) link

Rams should be seen just for the awesome images of Iceland :) They have this whole boom of cheap films filmed around the countryside, using the landscape and many amateur actors. All of the films have names like Rams, Sparrows, Volcano, Virgin Mountain, Of Horses and Men. It's a style, kinda.

Yeah, Youth is pretty bad. Sorrentino has only made 'big-male-sorrow' films. His last three films were male-artist-sorrow, but before that it was politician and mafiosi. It's definitely the biggest failing of his filmography, and Youth is really doubling down on it. The guy is still just 45, why are all his films about men growing old and irrelevant? But he is a good picture-maker, and Youth has good pictures.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:42 (three years ago) link

When Tree of Life came out the local alt-weekly ran two reviews: "I Saw The Tree of Life, and I Loved It" and "I Didn't See The Tree of Life, and I Hated It." I'll always love Badlands and should get around to watching The Thin Red Line but nothing after that has had much appeal.

JoeStork, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:51 (three years ago) link

The only 'my god what rubbish' reaction I've had to a trailer recently was for The BFG, but after the disaster of Tintin I was unlikely to see another Spielberg kids' movie anyway.

The trailer for Hail, Caesar pretty much gives the entire movie away - and does so in a far snappier fashion than the film itself. Ralph Fiennes is the standout turn in H,C but even that wasn't enough to make me see A Bigger Splash, especially after I read a really arsey interview w/ the director in Sight and Sound.

And yes, Youth was unrecoverable in any coherent critical way as a 'good' movie, but it's not an especially interesting bad movie either. The corollary of its male-artist-sorrow is a gross sexism and general disregard for any of the female characters (Rachel Weisz and Jane Fonda probably give the best performances in the film, but they're marginalised and trivialised when set against mouldy Michael Caine and mumbling Harvey Keitel). Also thought This Must Be The Place was a turd, so yeah, it def feels like Sorrentino loses something quite crucial when working with an English Language script.

Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:06 (three years ago) link

The Big Fucken Giant. Never saw Tintin but I will do my duty and watch it as part of the big Spielberg project. But I get to stop at Bridge Of Spies, then my commitment ends, so the BFG can G the F O.
Never watched Avatar, Titanic, Independence Day, any Jurassic Park sequels, I watch a hella lit of bad ibdies but I can't be bothered with that shit.
Still Alice, my mother keeps trying to show me and I am "no thank you"

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:58 (three years ago) link

Fast/Furious films, Saw films, TV spinoffs...

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:01 (three years ago) link

The director of A Bigger Splash is Luca Guadagnino who made the quite good I Am Love, so def seeing A Bigger Splash.

I watched Synecdoche New York two days back and decided to give Anomalisa a pass.

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:06 (three years ago) link

guys if you're not hating on days of heaven you're hating malick wrong

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:27 (three years ago) link

its like if you're really going to hate oasis you can't just start hating with 'be here now'. you have to commit to your hate. it's like hating only the late u2: fuck that.

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:28 (three years ago) link

i am love is a garbage movie for garbage people

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:28 (three years ago) link

oh my god rain on a statues face it looks like the statue is crying fuck me did your 5yo cowrite this thing

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:29 (three years ago) link

anomalisa is a great title for a mediocre mid-90s indie record

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:29 (three years ago) link

dlh's thing on youth and esl kinda makes me want to see it, or at least make a movie that uses the same trick to some effect

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:30 (three years ago) link

Non-english speaking people has been doing this for decades.

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:54 (three years ago) link

'Oh look at this stupid director, he isn't even a native English speaker, and he still thinks he can make a global film! lol, what a weirdo.'

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:55 (three years ago) link

'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:55 (three years ago) link

i think there was more to dlh's claim than that tbh

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:19 (three years ago) link

Anything with "today's comedy superstars" US version - people I generally find unfunny (Louis CK, Tina Fey, The Amy's Schumer and Poehler) ---everything I've seen them in up to now a resounding dud so no thanks.
Anything by Lanthimos
"Anomalisa" was a real chore.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:48 (three years ago) link

Also - no more Baumbach. Or Ben Stiller ( he just seems fed up in everything).

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:49 (three years ago) link

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 December 2018 21:51 (seven months ago) link

Beale Street was a mild disappointment.

Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 December 2018 21:54 (seven months ago) link

Q: Is Green Book a spiritual sequel to Crash? Or is it a literal sequel to Crash?

my hand is finally unglued from my face (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2018 22:19 (seven months ago) link

Prequel

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Monday, 10 December 2018 23:44 (seven months ago) link

soft reboot

jmm, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 01:22 (seven months ago) link

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

― |Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, December 10, 2018 4:51 PM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actually you're right, esp. with the wicked trifecta of star/book/rhapsody

flappy bird, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 04:55 (seven months ago) link

Don't feel like Roma and A Phantom Thread (the 1/2 in the S&S poll) were that big a deal.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 18:29 (seven months ago) link

Benadryl Camembert IS Brexit

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 16 December 2018 13:01 (seven months ago) link

Did Michael sheen die or something?

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 16 December 2018 13:01 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

The Favourite
Roma
The House that Jack Built

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 30 December 2018 20:18 (six months ago) link

so they really cast the most posh, royal family-looking British actress as Brooklyn-born, second generation Jewish immigrant Ruth Bader Ginsburg? the Jews who control Hollywood need to be replaced with better Jews

— etan (@EtanHeytan) December 11, 2018

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 January 2019 12:50 (six months ago) link

that movie has such a dumb, unwieldy title

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 16:38 (six months ago) link

Pubescent kids gonna be so disappointed after they surreptitiously DVR this Sex movie six months from now.

The Mandal Brah Set (Old Lunch), Thursday, 3 January 2019 16:52 (six months ago) link

seems obvious they were banking on "RBG" as a can't-miss title, then the doc scooped them, and then they had months to come up with something else and just kept procrastinating the big meeting.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:00 (six months ago) link

Oh is that what that film is about?! Funny that it’s coming out so close to the doc, one for the magician movies thread

This type of film is such an insta-skip for me that the only reason the fact of its existence has stuck in my mind at all is that the director mimi leder did consistently excellent work on the leftovers, & when I looked her up on the basis of that I saw that she’d directed deep impact and this upcoming oscarbait thing

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:09 (six months ago) link

Whoa

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:15 (six months ago) link

On The Basis Of Comets

imago, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:23 (six months ago) link

Leder also helmed the icky Pay It Forward, which automatically cancels any interest I might have had in seeing this (though I had none).

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:28 (six months ago) link

On The Basis Of Comets


Ha, On The Basis Of The Leftovers tbf (and no I didn’t do that on purpose)

xp some ppl should stick to tv I guess!

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:30 (six months ago) link

ehh I think of leder as an example of how female filmmakers only get 1-2 cracks at blockbuster scale work if they "underperform" (or make money but not quite ENOUGH money) while male mediocrities seem to get chance after chance after chance. deep impact is a perfectly reasonable disaster movie that was only overshadowed because armageddon (same subject matter, different genre) was concentrated preposterous manipulative cheese. the peacemaker was pretty lame on recent rewatch, i'll admit. disclaimer, i haven't read any interviews or anything to back this up - maybe she found doing these movies to be a nightmare and never went back on purpose, idk.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:39 (six months ago) link

Deep Impact is dope, maybe I will see this new Notorious RBG film

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:45 (six months ago) link

I mean ...

2	Armageddon	BV	$201,578,182	3,184	$36,089,972	3,127	7/1
8 Deep Impact Par. $140,464,664 3,280 $41,152,375 3,156 5/8

Not to mention that apparently Deep Impact cost about half as much to make as Armageddon.

love craptually (Eric H.), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:46 (six months ago) link

two weeks pass...

green book, the upside

why are these movies still being made

adam the (abanana), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:47 (six months ago) link

Oscars, baby

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 23:15 (six months ago) link

are the voters who nominated guess who's coming to dinner still voting?

adam the (abanana), Saturday, 19 January 2019 00:19 (six months ago) link

why are these movies still being made

tide goes in, tide goes out

flappy bird, Saturday, 19 January 2019 04:21 (six months ago) link

I had my "enough" moment with comic book movies back in 2015.
I saw "The Rock" in theaters and I haven't seen another Michael Bay movie since.
Anything directed by Zach Snyder is also insta-banned.

Rod Steel (musicfanatic), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 17:59 (five months ago) link

Honey Boy

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 February 2019 05:03 (five months ago) link

lol this has a trailer now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0irKUtaCaU

devvvine, Tuesday, 12 February 2019 22:48 (five months ago) link

And who was asking for a Mapplethorpe biopic?
https://youtu.be/TvXLMpjyqpU

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:29 (five months ago) link

new liam neeson joint "cold wish or whatever" sounds exactly like every other liam neeson movie in the past two decades.

adam the (abanana), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:37 (five months ago) link

the best part of Love Actually was when crying Liam Neeson kicked the sexist US President through a window and the president knocked over Egg Off Of This Life and all his stalker cue cards

The Very Fugly Caterpillar (sic), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:53 (five months ago) link

I am baffled as to why Cold Pursuit has such a "wacky comedy" poster:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOGY3YjUzOTgtMmJmMS00ZDJjLTkwOGEtYWE3Mjk0ZTgwYmY4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjM4NTM5NDY@._V1_SY1000_SX675_AL_.jpg

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:52 (five months ago) link

Like, the tagline looks like it should read "Everyone remember where we parked."

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:53 (five months ago) link

lmfao otm

flappy bird, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:55 (five months ago) link

It's a remake of a Norwegian comedy (with a script from a Danish writer). Very good film, the original, but even thought the director is the same I have a hard time imagining it to be any good. It's so much about Norway.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:07 (five months ago) link

Don't fret, no one knows Norway quite like Hollywood.

Shaved Cyborg (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:11 (five months ago) link

Hey, if it's half as good as Nolan's remake of Insomnia it'll be complete fucking shit

Stephen Yakkety-Yaxley-Rosbif (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:11 (five months ago) link

I saw it today, Fred is right, Cold Pursuit is a black comedy disguised as an action movie. it's very similar to Miami Blues, and in the same universe as Repo Man (though not nearly as good as either). worth seeing imo, and I hate all that Taken shit. it's not like that at all

flappy bird, Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:16 (five months ago) link

Liam Neeson's action star career has run the gamut from competent trash to outstanding. Taken obv made him viable as an action commodity but its the least interesting film of this era (well maybe more interesting than Taken 2&3...) The Grey and A Walk Among the Tombstones and a couple of those Collet-Serra flicks are great.

omar little, Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:19 (five months ago) link

Perhaps unfairly, i assume any movie with liam neeson isn’t worth watching

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:31 (five months ago) link

gonna fight you over Darkman

steven, soda jerk (sic), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:34 (five months ago) link

and Buster Scruggs I guess

steven, soda jerk (sic), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:34 (five months ago) link

The Grey is really good

. (Michael B), Sunday, 17 February 2019 12:27 (five months ago) link

four months pass...

Director: Gurinder Chadha
Starring: Rob Brydon, Dean-Charles Chapman, Hayley Atwell, Aaron Phagura, Kulvinder Ghir, Sally Phillips, Viveik Kalra, Nell Williams, Meera Ganatra
Duration: 117 min

In 1987 during the austere days of Thatcher's Britain, a teenager learns to live life, understand his family and find his own voice through the music of Bruce Springsteen.

shhh / let peaceful like things (wins), Thursday, 11 July 2019 12:23 (one week ago) link

the first movie written solely for eric alterman

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 12:36 (one week ago) link

Saw the trailer for that the other day and it looked so bad I was embarrassed to be there for that two minutes.

Manfred Hemming-Hawing (WmC), Thursday, 11 July 2019 13:05 (one week ago) link

there's a mini-trend of movies trying to follow the commercial success of bo rhap, using some combination of 1. britain 2. minority groups 3. classic rock. rocketman and yesterday being the other prominent ones, and this one looking by far the worst.

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:08 (one week ago) link

to be fair, Rocketman started filming before Bohemian Rhapsody even came out, although of course its director is the guy who'd replaced Singer on BR, so maybe he had some confidence it would be a hit.

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:18 (one week ago) link

No intention of seeing any of them but rocket man does sound better than the other three, which I would rather be murdered badly than have to see

shhh / let peaceful like things (wins), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:25 (one week ago) link


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