Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

How was your boy genius Spielberg's intellectual property wankfest Ready Player One again?

Far fewer than 210 minutes, for starters.

So are all of Tarantino’s films, except for the sole all-in-one print of Kill Bill, which Morbs didn’t fly to Austin or Paris to see in 2011.

shorter than the Irishman: ready player one, all Tarantino

longer than the Irishman: satantango, all lav diaz, flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

Earlier this year I sat through 1900 (5+ hours) and didn't even stretch my legs at the intermission. But this year's crop of Oscar bait is going to have to be pretty weak to get me to see The Irishman in a theater.

Turns out there were two screenings in Philly in 2013 - Morbs could have taken the Megabus for the matinée and been back in NYC for dinner.

flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

iirc you were the ilxor who was going to fly to New York to watch Eight Hours Don't Make a Day!

Also, not quite ALL Lav Diaz.

Well I mean that wasn’t why I flew to New York. But I’d do it again even tho both flight and screening were longer than the Irishman, ready player one, and all Tarantino

Jojo Rabbit

I support your choice.

i enjoyed it but it took a while for me to build up some measure of trust in what it was doing/going for, and i can easily imagine it failing that test for different viewers

It's got some good people in it, but from the trailer KNIVES OUT looks totally insufferable.

looks like rian johnson is going back to incompetently imitating detective writers

The Megyn Kelly biopic Bombshell. I suppose it seemed like a good idea to idiots in 2017.

1917
vaguely jingoistic sam mendes helmed ww1 epic hellscape with heavy FPS visual identity=pass

hard pass also on Midway

1917 is getting the kind of rave reviews that have betrayed me w/every Sam Mendes film i've seen

i kind of secretly hate every film and television show and play he's ever done

Otm. Incredible to me that he has done Skyfall and basically nothing else worth seeing.

Skyfall is "impressive" but i think where he falls flat is he makes these very beautiful images which are cinematically inert, even in his two big budget action movies. Skyfall looks amazing but seems worse over time, and Spectre didn't even have the beautiful look.

i gotta say i got suddenly more interested in Midway when i realized it was a Roland Emmerich destruction schlockfest and not another oscar-bait mournful war film. not enough to actually go see it, mind you.

Richard Jewell

Trying to think: has there been a mainstream film with a rote '(first name) + (last name)' title that wasn't cinematic bullshit?

barry lyndon and... toni erdmann

Truck Turner

Jackie Brown

daniel blake (i am,)

Irma Vep. Simon H liked Martin Eden. Andrej Rublev.

Charley Varrick
Ed Wood
Donnie Brasco
Elmer Gantry
Air Bud

Marie Antoinette, Effi Briest, Brewster McCloud, Cluny Brown...

Action Jackson

Brewster McCloud
Norma Rae
Hudson Hawk

oh wait B.McC was posted

just saw marie antoinette the other night, it ruled

and I hear good things about John Wick

Ha, I knew I was setting myself up with that post. Although I should've clarified that I meant biographical films using that title format. Under the new, tightened restrictions, I'd say the only exceptions mentioned that prove the rule are Ed Wood and Air Bud.

Erin Brockovitch?

Marie Antoinette doesn’t fit firstname + lastname formula y’all

Definitely one that sucked was Steve Jobs

Probably doesn’t need to be stated, but: Cats

I totally forgot Cats was even happening until I saw some fancy new edition of the Eliot book today. And then I remembered and I died. I died, guys. I died.

Most of the movies represented during the pre-Star Wars trailer suite looked like steamy refuse but the only one that stood out enough to really get my goat was the one that, sight unseen, I would've found the least objectionable.

Why. The fuck. Is the dog in the new Call of the Wild 100% bad CGI. What could possibly justify not using an actual dog in a live action movie about a dog. Did Harrison Ford only agree to star if they were willing to hang a green screen hung in his living room so he never had to leave his easy chair?

EXCLUSIVE: James @mang0ld to direct Timothee Chalamet in Searchlight’s #GoingElectric about Bob Dylan’s move from folk to rock musichttps://t.co/OZnkvp1dVs

— Deadline Hollywood (@DEADLINE) January 6, 2020

Lol good nominee

ugggggh Fuckkkk that!

Chalamet is a terrible actor

coming around on it purely for the fact that no on will be more annoyed at its existence than robert himself

I thought I read he was executive producing it?

jesus, missed that

some fuckwit has made a movie about the military wives choir

We needed calendar girls for gammonettes