Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

awesome thread for asking "whatever happened with that movie?"

★★★★’If Nick Hornby had considered structuring High Fidelity like (500) Days of Summer, the outcome might look something like the smart, music-centric British romantic comedy Modern Life Is Rubbish’ The Hollywood Reporter. In cinemas FRIDAY: Book tickets now:

If Ebola spread to the most populous cities of the world in a mutated superstrain that literally turned its victims inside out it would almost be as good as Modern Life is Rubbish

Lean on Pete

The Young Karl Marx

These are real movies?

lol yep

I’m seeing young Karl Marx for sure

Book Club. I suppose it's testimony to the power of...something...that Hollywood has made a movie featuring actresses of a certain age who AREN'T Meryl Streep. But no thank you.

Young Karl Marx is mostly harmless. Raoul Peck seems mostly drawn to the revolutionary-in-exile angle.

Before Death of Stalin today were the shit sandwich trailers for old people get their groove back movies Book Club and Finding Your Feet. (Saved by the Mister Rogers trailer as a lovely chaser.)

Via @iamchrishello I give you pure distilled awful pic.twitter.com/lgNFEiVnqg

— Paul Duane (@MrPaulDuane) August 29, 2018

that has got to be a joke

we can only hope

oh fuck it isn't. nuke planet from orbit.

ahahahaaaa

TBRR, I only know Sheeran as a subject of mockery on this board, but I don't need to hear a lick of his music to gawp in astonishment @ this concept.

Titles? I'm going to guess [Name of main character]-mania.

it's got "the fool on the hill" written all over it imho

woweeeeee

At great personal cost I once saw the most recent Bridget Jones movie, which has an extended arse-achingly tedious scene where Sheeran plays himself, not being recognised by the main character. It's one of the worst parts of a terrible, terrible film.

feel like theres a wave of conversion therapy movies coming out that i am going to Avoid

The Front Runner

King of Thieves w/ Michael Caine, Ray Winstone, Uncle Tom Courtenay and all

i missed the sheeran revive last week but i'm lolling hard now at the thought that danny boyle might have dropped out of directing the next bond movie to direct... an ed sheeran movie

At Eternity's Gate - Julian Schnabel's Van Gogh biopic w/ William Defoe. I loved the Altman and Pialat Van Gogh biopics in the 90's, but just feel strongly that this will be some nauseating garbage (see also every other shit Schnabel movie and his entire art career).

there's a bit in the trailer where he says he's painting for people who aren't born yet

lol, that's probably summat Schnabel said himself in the 80's, just before Clement Greenberg told him his work was complete dogshit!

Have we touched on the cringe-inducing trailer for Peppermint? It appears to be a Jennifer-Garner-headed remake of Death Wish (because one per year isn't enough?!) except this time every person she's killing is coded as Mexican.

I really like the name. It's refreshing. Like...well, I guess like peppermint! Ahhh.

that doc where a wide-eyed dem travels to trump country

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury
Hugh Jackman as Gary Hart
Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

A Star is Born, The Wife, A Simple Favour; I hadn’t planned on seeing any, but here I am at the cinema and this is all that’s on. Anyone have any idea which might be the most compelling of the three?

Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

this trailer generated a surprising number of whoops and cheers at my mostly 18-35 screening of A Star is Born. Everything about it remined me of what I dislike about Christian Bale's approach to acting and Adam McKay's approach to comedy.

I'd see The Wife out of that lot.

Why are people I like and thought I knew seeing A Star is Born? What is going on tbh

tt: only one of those is by Paul Feig

I know we're in Oscar bait season, but the trailer for On the Basis of Sex further increased my Do Not Wants.

Has Felicity Jones been good in anything?

i have never seen her, so that tends toward no

would be pretty swank to have seen every good movie ever ;)

i find that whenever i reluctantly sit down to watch something, it's almost always bad, so imagine how awful the stuff i skip must be.

The white people I know are awful, imagine how much worse all those unknown brown people must be.

now that's an award-winning straw man intro right there

Haha ok what the FUCK is this green book movie, how is it real. I saw the trailer and it was hilariously bad, it really feels like a parody trailer in the “simple jack” genre. Like, I might actually watch this it looks so bad

dark gritty Driving Miss Daisy reboot

Guido Mortensen vs ~articulate~

one does not simply walk into Mississippi

hahahahaha

Black Panther; I forgot to put that one down here months ago.

Cuarón, Jenkins and maybe a few others aside, this year's holiday/awards season crop looks pretty dire.

idk it seems pretty routine.

good:
Roma (assuming)
Beale Street (assuming)
Burning (assuming)
Vice (assuming... w/e I'm looking forward to it)
The Favourite
First Reformed
Eighth Grade
BlacKkKlansman
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Paddington 2
First Man

bad:
A Star is Born (i liked it for what it was but foh w/ any awards)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Green Book
Boy Erased
Beautiful Boy
Mary Poppins (wtf is this shit?)