Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

twist one: will smith himself secretly put up his colleagues to do this (by idk INCEPTION), so he could teach THEM a lesson

twist two: the letters were all christmas cards

I'm guessing: (1) The actors turn out really to be abstract manifestations. (2) They're joined at the end by his daughter's ghost for tearful closure.

i'm thinking that yeah, like the letters will smith writes are sort of spectral spirit versions of the nanny letter the kids write in mary poppins.

I should just put [insert the name of latest Oscar-bait biopic here] now so i don't have to bump this thread every year 'round this time.

xxpost I agree with (1) but I think (2) is a fourth-wall breaking moment where we see the screenwriter finishing the script and then masturbating to completion onto the keyboard of his Macbook.

It's definitely a case of each quality being bestowed to the respectively needful colleague tbh, the devil is in how it turns around

maybe will smith himself is a paranormal manifestation and his 'dead daughter' is us, the viewers

La La Land

Both Gosling and Stone are such weird looking folks. Like living anime. Dunno if I could deal with two hours of them trying to save their love through song and dance.

trainspotting 2: judgement day

Sing

Split.

Yeah was surprised the director was getting financed. Thought he was getting critically panned. Are people going to his films still?
Though Guardian had a 2 page article based on multiple personality with photos from film on Friday.

Haha, this thing cost $125 million?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moZIiYxUsGw

Not one but TWO TV remakes out this week: Chips and Power Rangers.

That Trump-ian baby movie from Dreamworks.

haha I saw chips

was not good

Hampstead looks p rancid

Haha so I have a valid NUS card and so I get invited to free preview screenings of films aimed at 19-year-olds, I'm sad enough that I usually go to them and they are nearly always dogshit

Tonight I went to see The House and the place was about 3/4 full. There were flyers on the seats saying "why not head on up to the bar afterwards for an exclusive playthrough of the new Gorillaz album" & also advertising a heavily discounted night owl showing of baby driver. The film, which wasn't great, finished and nobody - not one soul - headed on up to the bar, they all just fucked off. I got a cheap ticket for what's turned out to be a private screening of baby driver (the only circumstance under which I would bother) and am killing time in the pub below. I find this whole experience pretty heartening

The Battle of the Sexes

yeah, by the Little Miss Sunshine crew no less

Downsizing

yikes, that Borg-McEnroe movie w/ Shia as Johnny Mac

The garbage I am proud to say I avoided/will avoid:

Mother!
Blade Runner
Dunkirk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Snowman_(2017_film)

Premise [edit]
When Harry Hole

And here I stopped reading.

It's okay, it's a Norwegian thing.

Harry Hole (pronounced "Harry HOO-LEH") is the main character in a series of crime novels written by Norwegian author Jo Nesbø.[1]

I already wasn't interested in that new Clooney thing, but after the 80th forced ad for it on Spotify this week, I'm now dead set against it.

all of them

ban hollywood

The Death of Stalin

The Lion King (Jon Favreau-directed 'live action' remake, 2019)

Clouds otm

Why I felt the need to post that I have no idea. Solidarity!

i cracked up at the trailer for the snowman. and they actually pronounce 'harry hole' like you'd think it would be pronounced.

This review makes it sound like an absolutely hot mess.

The Guernsey Middle Class Pablum Wankfest And Whoops A Daisy Fuck Off Society I

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

yeah, avoid journeyman like it's your germy nan

Steven Spielberg's Blackhawk

OK, maybe not. Just figured someone would say it eventually.

I had a free ticket for a preview of that Guernsey thing and couldn't bring myself to attend. I did see funny cow, in which considine is irritating.

Top of the avoidance pile has to be that dames reminiscing in the countryside film, looks pretty insufferable

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

Him and Shane Meadows are the absolute worst, that sounds like a shit movie or a shit band he's formed with Johnny Marr.

awesome thread for asking "whatever happened with that movie?"

★★★★’If Nick Hornby had considered structuring High Fidelity like (500) Days of Summer, the outcome might look something like the smart, music-centric British romantic comedy Modern Life Is Rubbish’ The Hollywood Reporter. In cinemas FRIDAY: Book tickets now:

If Ebola spread to the most populous cities of the world in a mutated superstrain that literally turned its victims inside out it would almost be as good as Modern Life is Rubbish

Lean on Pete

The Young Karl Marx

These are real movies?

lol yep

I’m seeing young Karl Marx for sure

Book Club. I suppose it's testimony to the power of...something...that Hollywood has made a movie featuring actresses of a certain age who AREN'T Meryl Streep. But no thank you.

Young Karl Marx is mostly harmless. Raoul Peck seems mostly drawn to the revolutionary-in-exile angle.

Before Death of Stalin today were the shit sandwich trailers for old people get their groove back movies Book Club and Finding Your Feet. (Saved by the Mister Rogers trailer as a lovely chaser.)