Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

High Rise (Ben Wheatley, 2015) - say no to adaptations of unfilmable books. Can see why greats like Nic Roeg left this alone for a guy who I see has directed television to pick up.

I see nic roeg has directed television

A lot of it in the mid-90s. Britpop was a tough time for everybody.

I don't see how High Rise is unfilmable tbh

a guy who I see has directed television

lol at being bothered to research Wheatley enough to know this, but not bothered enough to consider his actual film work.

But hey, it's the negative thread so carry on as you are. Sadly I can't think of any more current things to hate on, I'm sure I will be back soon though.

Wasn't doing "research", just looked at a couple of wiki pages.

While everyone else wasted their time on British cinema I watched Manoel De Oliveira's last film. A real, proper film.

One single screening #RIPCinema

:D

Wheatley's "A Field In England" is freaky brilliance. Am looking forward to watching "High Rise".

^that's not the spirit! ;)

Ok! Here's one: Am avoiding the ugly Batman/Superman bs by that auteur-for-bros Zach Snyder

That French film that isn't about Florence Foster Jenkins

Do you mean 'Frears'?

Haha omg just realised that there's an actual ffj biopic coming out as well! Not seeing that either tbh

He, yeah, and it's directed by someone whose name could have been an auto-correct from French. I still don't really get what film you're talking about, though?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marguerite_(film)

Wiki tells me it's from last year but it just came out hers.

Do we have a thread listing examples of the turner and hooch/k9 phenomenon? Feel like every message board must have one. And it is a bank holiday.

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

Clooney stock advice kidnap on air capitalism thriller oh just fuck off

lol I don't even know what that refers to but what the hell I'll throw my weight behind this campaign

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

― emil.y, Thursday, March 24, 2016 4:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this otoh is not good enough, it is good friday and I have nowhere to observe that one time there were two magician movies

Start a new one anyway! If someone else remembers they can link it up, but it's probably from 2003 or something.

And actually I think I might just be thinking about 'animal versions of buddy cop movies' (b/c of the examples you used) rather than 'two films about the same thing coming out at the same time'.

sorry I wasn't clear!

A hearty fu for making me Google it, but it is called money monster

fuck off that isnt true

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

Birdman, The Revenant, death--betting on death.

Saw Birdman. Not gonna see The Revenant, because fool me once...

http://www.bfi.org.uk/news-opinion/news-bfi/announcements/steven-spielberg-season-coming-bfi-southbank-summer?utm_content=bufferf69a2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitterbfi&utm_campaign=buffer

Burn it down.

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

why is hail caesar a 'cast to avoid'? don't coen bros have the same cast in every movie? do you avoid all their films?

Tale of Tales was a pretty big disappointment to me. I ended up writing about how like Arabian Nights it showed the bankruptcy of it's production country, only with ToT it's kinda inadvertently.

lol

Stoked to avoid the Daniel Radcliffe priapic corpse opus

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

talk about cunti amirite

Chevalier, The Commune (unfortunately not a re-run of Watkins' film on it)

Both the new ones with Greta Gerwig in them

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters🔗

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

Still otm

xyzzz___ you would def not like chevalier, it's pretty much exactly how you'd picture "producer of dogtooth makes a mainstream male-bonding bro comedy" to be (one of the guys even looks a bit like the creepy manchild from the hangover films). I liked it quite a bit tbh but I like things

The Galifianakis similarity must have been intentional, especially as he's the biggest Greek-American star in Hollywood

Yeah don't need this xp

Suicide Squad

FIST FIGHT
OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

i can't wait for 2017 to bring us

OIL CHANGE
FROZEN FOOD AISLE
JAYWALKING TICKET

Just saw the ad for Collateral Beauty. Jeezus!

just watched the trailer

kids, don't do scientology

keira, never act again

The movie title has been created by the early 90's software used to make Basic Instinct/Primal Fear/Fatal Instinct/Terminal Velocity etc

Another awful trailer: Why Him?

This is even more ridiculous than I expected.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/dec/13/collateral-beauty-review-will-smith-helen-mirren-keira-knightley

Will Smith plays a super-brilliant ad exec with a Ted-talking visionary schtick about connectivity. But when he tragically loses his six-year-old to cancer, poor Will becomes a mumbling semi-crazy hermit who is in danger of running his company into the ground. He starts writing letters to abstract concepts like Death, Love and Time, to rail at them. So his sorrowing colleagues – Ed Norton, Kate Winslet and Michael Peña – cook up a sneaky plan. They intercept the letters and hire three actors, played by Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley and Jacob Latimore, to go up to Will in the street and argue with him, pretending to be Death, Love and Time. (They could also have hired Jack Black to be Eat and Morgan Freeman to be Pray – but I guess there were copyright issues.)

Ed, Kate and Michael will secretly video his arguments with these imposters, digitally remove the actors from the video to make him look like a crazy person talking to himself, then show the video to the board to get Will voted off.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

In a just world, this would extinguish the career of everyone involved. But I think we just found our Best Picture Oscar winner!