My Mother

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I am 13 years old, and just about to go to high school in September.. and I had a dream of being with my mother in her apartment and for some odd reason I started hitting her really hard in the head with teal/blue lunch box. I hit her so hard that I saw blood coming from her head and I saw the blood all over the lunch box. It didn't stop me though, I just kept on hitting like a mad woman! When I saw my mom fall to the ground and not wake up, I checked if she was still breathing and she suprisingly was. I for some odd reason called an ambulance for my mother and I left for school before they arrived. When I was at school, it was just a normal day, I didn't feel shaky or anything about it and I didn't even think about it. Soon later they called me to the office and someone was on the phone, it was the hospital and told me that my mother was dead. I cried, and wondered how she died. I didn't even remember that I killed her, I just cried, and cried that my mother died. And then I woke up, very startled and scared. I wanted to call up my mother to see if she was still alive, but I didn't talk to her until 3 days later.

Rebecca182, Friday, 23 June 2006 22:49 (twelve years ago) Permalink

jesus christ, pickles!

A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Saturday, 24 June 2006 23:43 (twelve years ago) Permalink

six years pass...

Y'know it took almost 40 years to realize my mother is extremely narcissistic. I never realized this as she never blatantly stands in front of the mirror proclaiming she loves herself. But she does. If you don't follow her, agree with her or are "like her", she rejects you. One of the things that had a major impact on me is when she proclaimed: "I am very much let down because I thought you would be like me and you aren't." And having a narcissistic mother has been exceptionally destructive (for me). I think there are two options: either you rebel/become aggressive or you become docile, subservient. I became the latter so much so it has become my natural reflex. Even towards my children. After all these years I can finally say no and not feel guilty (towards my mother). But finally I have said no. I have made the choice that if she doesn't agree, I will "divorce" her.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 14:39 (six years ago) Permalink


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