when you are being spooned by someone and have to FART!

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when your butt is against someone's crotch in a romantic embrace and you need to fart, do you turn away to rearrange your position and divert the blast, or just fart on them?

Poll Results

male, turn away 10
male, fart on them 6
female, fart on them 3
female, turn away 0

how's life, Thursday, 26 December 2013 02:40 (ten years ago) link

if you can't fart on your boyfriend/girlfriend your relationship ain't shit

le goon (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 26 December 2013 02:41 (ten years ago) link

This really needed to be split into "and I am in a long-term relationship" vs "and I am not in a long-term relationship", more so than the gender options.

emil.y, Thursday, 26 December 2013 03:02 (ten years ago) link

the greatest poll in the history of the internet

combination hair (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 26 December 2013 03:42 (ten years ago) link

can't really say i recall this being an issue, but i'm pretty much always the outer spoon, so

as a teenager i had these two friends named dave who made a solemn vow that if ever they needed to fart under any circumstances they would just let it rip. (one of the daves also wondered aloud if willpower could overcome the instinct to not piss one's pants -- he pondered briefly then went inside to take a shower.) daves are hardcore ime

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 December 2013 04:08 (ten years ago) link

if the option is 'fart on someone' you take it

my whole family is catholic so look at the pickle i'm in (zachlyon), Thursday, 26 December 2013 05:07 (ten years ago) link

Farting on someone you love is one of the joys of being in a relationship

SHAUN (DJP), Thursday, 26 December 2013 05:27 (ten years ago) link

if i ever meet j (or you!) i'm gonna have to ask her about this

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 December 2013 05:50 (ten years ago) link

I'm making Kraftwerk lyrics out of the poll options.

tbd (Eazy), Saturday, 28 December 2013 01:57 (ten years ago) link

we are spooning farters
*fart sound effects*
we are spooning farters
*fart sound effects*

rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Saturday, 28 December 2013 04:00 (ten years ago) link

Okay c'mon this totally depends; there are people I've spooned with once and would have or probably did fart on, and people I have spooned with dozens of times over several years and would totally not fart on ever

queen bey backers (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 28 December 2013 04:12 (ten years ago) link

yeah, i realize now that i made a couple mistakes with this poll. emil.y's suggestion is on point, although i would have incorporated it rather than replacing the gender question entirely.

second, i kinda wish that i had phrased the responses "i would rather be woken up by someone shifting their spooning position on me" vs. "i would rather be woken up by someone farting on my genitals". or something. i don't know.

how's life, Saturday, 28 December 2013 09:56 (ten years ago) link

Thought of this poll several times last night

lorde othering (darraghmac), Saturday, 28 December 2013 20:48 (ten years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 1 January 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

Just fucking let it rip. I fart a lot. Everyone farts. It's hilarious and OK.

Airwrecka Bliptrap Blapmantis (ENBB), Wednesday, 1 January 2014 00:19 (ten years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 2 January 2014 00:01 (ten years ago) link

The old "girls don't poop/fart" cliché is confirmed!

StanM, Thursday, 2 January 2014 04:42 (ten years ago) link

How is it confirmed? The only women who responded said they do fart. That's 100% of female respondents confirming that farting on your partner is best.

emil.y, Thursday, 2 January 2014 11:53 (ten years ago) link

My gf gets furious when we are sleeping and she is all cuddled in next to me and i let them rip. Like I have any clue I am farting in my sleep. Dutch Ovens all day baby.

Nerd Trombones (thebingo), Monday, 6 January 2014 16:30 (ten years ago) link

three years pass...

male, turn away, unless it's the kind I can release discreetly and blame on a dying rodent in the walls

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:53 (six years ago) link

there was one time I had helped my then-girlfriend stage manage a show and we were cuddled in a spoon position on the couch while we waited for the midnight show and I was the outer spoon and she accidentally jabbed me in the stomach which cause a chain reaction which made me rip one and then she jumped up and ran into the other room to tell everybody I farted on her

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:59 (six years ago) link

Only way to resolve this is by executing a dutch oven

F♯ A♯ (∞), Saturday, 18 March 2017 04:16 (six years ago) link

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