30-Day Abstinence

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I'm going to do this as an experiment to see if it's possible that sexual "energy" can be transmuted into other endeavors. It seems kind of a Freudian outdated notion to me, and any search on people who advocate doing this are doing so for religious reasons. My roommate has done this and says he noticed a palpable difference in the way his desires manifested themselves and in his drive to satisfy them.

Has anyone tried this?

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:05 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, didn't do anything

Neu! romancer (dayo), Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:06 (thirteen years ago) link

really? not even thoughts of "holy shit I need to fuck something right now"?

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

You mean like not jerking off for 30 days?

Doesn't really seem like that big a deal to me but maybe it's diff for girls.

ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah — my roommate is also a trusted friend who is heavily into "applied philosophy" (i.e. non-hokey self-help) and he hasn't given me bad advice yet.

I probably fap like once or twice a day (tmi, but this is the board) so I suspect channeling my horniness in other ways will have a pretty large impact.

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:16 (thirteen years ago) link

lol I have a pretty small libido to begin with - once I was over the week mark it wasn't really a big deal. ymmv obv

Neu! romancer (dayo), Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I'd be pretty worried about getting prostate cancer or something though

Neu! romancer (dayo), Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel like the biggest modern non-religious advocate of this is George Costanza.

rittah shpoaht (Abbbottt), Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:26 (thirteen years ago) link

lol yes

ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:27 (thirteen years ago) link

how did it work out for rivers cuomo

Neu! romancer (dayo), Sunday, 6 March 2011 01:28 (thirteen years ago) link

I for one have done this several times before and have found that palpable difference in the way his desires manifested themselves and in his drive to satisfy them is the case. For me, what happens is that after the initial period of sharp tension, tension sort of recedes into a comfortable state where you feel more in control of desire, as opposed to being controlled by it. I guess.

And I have found that I am often more productive and even happier during such periods, but I'm pretty sure that's actually just me being more in control of my sex drive when I'm happier and more productive.

EDB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 03:23 (thirteen years ago) link

think i would end up murdering someone tbh

pascal's swagger (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 6 March 2011 03:27 (thirteen years ago) link

You'll never know until you try!

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 03:30 (thirteen years ago) link

30-day abstinence from the internet would probably be harder tbh

Neu! romancer (dayo), Sunday, 6 March 2011 03:35 (thirteen years ago) link

I already did that :)

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 03:40 (thirteen years ago) link

channeling my horniness

do you mean fucking or doing arts & crafts

pascal's swagger (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:00 (thirteen years ago) link

i feel like if you did 30 days w/o internet you could prob do 30 days w/o jerking it

pascal's swagger (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:04 (thirteen years ago) link

using the energy that would've gone into sex for more productive purposes — for e.g. I'm trying to find a job atm, that's pretty much my highest priority

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:06 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah I dunno, this seems like it could be more difficult, but I'm pretty good at making rules for myself

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I support your choice to do this experiment, but I also support your choice to change your mind if you go guano loco and just want to take the edge off the old fashioned way.

rittah shpoaht (Abbbottt), Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:08 (thirteen years ago) link

what did your roommate accomplish in his 30 days that he wasn't able to previously

pascal's swagger (J0rdan S.), Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:11 (thirteen years ago) link

nothing as easily explainable as something like "he wrote a 600 page novel" but he swears that the heightened state he reached basically helped him get a new job and quadruple his income.

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I think it's less an adderall-like gain of focus than a shift in the internal mechanisms that cause you to respond to stimuli in situations, like priming a rifle and pulling the trigger when the moment's right.

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:20 (thirteen years ago) link

There's no way I could ever make it 30 days (not in this decade at least, though I did actually go 5 weeks about 5 years ago) but you definitely notice a change, feel more firmly grounded, and feel like less of a slave to your loins.

The only thing I'll mention is that I don't think it really works like flipping on a lightswitch: I doubt going cold turkey overnight will just sublimate your energy to productive ends like that, I think you there's probably going to have to work to a different state of mind if this would work/not be agonizing (though please prove me wrong! my goal is to harness asexual-workaholism is drive me through grad school).

Also, prepare for, shall we say... nocturnal emissions.

EDB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 04:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Ha, I've never had one in my life, so that might be fun.

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 05:04 (thirteen years ago) link

Geez I can go months without rubbin' one out but as E said, maybe it's diff for girls?

...I feel weird for having admitted this.

gnarly gnarlingtons in my life (Trayce), Sunday, 6 March 2011 05:51 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't have to DECIDE to do this.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 6 March 2011 15:48 (thirteen years ago) link

...you can't wank?

corey, Sunday, 6 March 2011 15:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm going to do this as an experiment to see if it's possible that sexual "energy" can be transmuted into other endeavors. It seems kind of a Freudian outdated notion to me,

That's because it is. Sexual energy can only be ignored or repressed, it can't be rechanneled.

and any search on people who advocate doing this are doing so for religious reasons.

"Women sap men's energy." This is the unconcious reasoning behind the less sex=more energy myth. Unless you're fucking or jacking off 50 times a day, cutting out sex won't add much to your energy stores.

Unless you really mean "dating." In that case, cutting that out temporarily might save enough time and energy to matter.

My roommate has done this and says he noticed a palpable difference in the way his desires manifested themselves and in his drive to satisfy them.

This is the only thing you'll get out of your sexual fast. It won't change your life like your roommate said it did his.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 7 March 2011 00:07 (thirteen years ago) link

How do you know?

corey, Monday, 7 March 2011 00:46 (thirteen years ago) link

btw EDB already said this was helpful for him

also I'm gay so your feminist reading is wrong

this idea seems to bother you quite a bit. I wonder why.

corey, Monday, 7 March 2011 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link

Christine can answer for herself, corey, but some of the imagery in the whole "sex saps creative/competitive drive" idea is holding over from Victorian mores about women and how their sexual allure would cloud men's minds and sap their energy and will, and turn men away from pure intellectualism which was supposed to be their true strength. Obv a person could have reasons for abstinence that didn't involve those ideas at all, but there are deep anti-feminist roots here.

go peddle your bullshit somewhere else sister (Laurel), Monday, 7 March 2011 01:48 (thirteen years ago) link

other endeavours can suck it imo

if a desire to fap is really that much of a energy sapper you got other problems

vanilla friedman (electricsound), Monday, 7 March 2011 01:51 (thirteen years ago) link

this is an experiment, whether it fails or not is irrelevant

corey, Monday, 7 March 2011 01:56 (thirteen years ago) link

experimentation is a beautiful thing

vanilla friedman (electricsound), Monday, 7 March 2011 01:57 (thirteen years ago) link

zilch-curious

WmC, Monday, 7 March 2011 02:00 (thirteen years ago) link

xp It goes back much, much farther than the 19th century, actually. And I have a strong dislike for science used long past its sell-by date, particularly psychiatric science. (Pop Freudism, esp.) But this is my problem to deal with, so ignore me if you wish.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 7 March 2011 02:02 (thirteen years ago) link

Victorian mores? What about Chinese chi energy concepts? Surely this goes back to that more than anything.

gnarly gnarlingtons in my life (Trayce), Monday, 7 March 2011 02:05 (thirteen years ago) link

dont know about the linkage btwn victorian mores/feminism, but I can maybe see where successfully imposing some self-discipline over compulsive urges might have positive side-effects for someone feeling in a rut or w/e without it necessarily emanating from 'sex/women are stealing my natural POWER'

Not rly convinced by 'rechannelling of energies' but yknow go for it

Achillean Heel (darraghmac), Monday, 7 March 2011 02:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Whatever your take on the mechanics of it (I, as a good Freudian, feel like that energy has gotta go somewhere; whether you have any control of where it goes and how it manifests itself, though, is another issue), I think you do notice some kind of qualitative change that, if nothing else, is interesting to play out in order to get some sort of articulation of how you relate to your sexual desire in certain circumstances. And it seems like that's the reason you're doing this, rather than to summon the energy to write the great American novel, or whatever.

EDB, Monday, 7 March 2011 04:00 (thirteen years ago) link

Your spell will be broken when I make my marathon erotic spectacular* titled 30-Day Asstinence.

*porn

rittah shpoaht (Abbbottt), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:31 (thirteen years ago) link

if I have to go more than three hours without very emotionally intense sex I become irritable & grouchy

five gone cats from Boston (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:33 (thirteen years ago) link

damn you gotta have sex every two hours and fifty five minutes owned

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:34 (thirteen years ago) link

owned meaning you got owned not owned as in me directing my post at your username

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:35 (thirteen years ago) link

wait no does that post I owned you with even make sense

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:36 (thirteen years ago) link

for some reason that is making me lol really hard

xpost more lol

five gone cats from Boston (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:36 (thirteen years ago) link

underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have o-faced

Neu! romancer (dayo), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:37 (thirteen years ago) link

honestly thinking about it you got owned anyway but yeah my post doesnt make sense

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:37 (thirteen years ago) link

uh-owned I'm having a fantasy

five gone cats from Boston (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Monday, 7 March 2011 04:38 (thirteen years ago) link

but hey, the upside is I don't think I've ever gone four days without jacking it

corey, Thursday, 10 March 2011 00:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Since admitting to being a good Freudian, I heard an anecdote where Freud, in a lecture, admitted that sublimation doesn't really work. Heh.

Also, the other thing that's been sort of gotten at is that, after holding it in for like 8 or so days, jerking off is a completely different experience. Way more intense.

EDB, Thursday, 10 March 2011 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

there is no question in my mind that shagging is wayyyy better when there is no intersample fapping

australian rules football quarterback (electricsound), Thursday, 10 March 2011 01:14 (thirteen years ago) link

x2. Not only will it be way better, but i'll be way more in the mood in the first place

Lee626, Thursday, 10 March 2011 01:47 (thirteen years ago) link

i do this all the time!

homosexual II, Thursday, 10 March 2011 06:22 (thirteen years ago) link

my meds are supposed to squash my libido, but they don't. although it takes me forever to bust a nut.

An ex was on an anti-depressant that didn't diminish her libido at all, but she could not reach orgasm. Oral, penetration, vibrators without me present, nada.
I think that side effect made her depression worse.

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Friday, 11 March 2011 03:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah that happened to me when I tried Paxil years ago. Switched that shit up asap iirc.

ENBB, Friday, 11 March 2011 11:21 (thirteen years ago) link

Literally like 45 minutes. My back can't take that, my wife usually leaves and manually whack it until I'm done

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Friday, 11 March 2011 16:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Her first orgasm, about a week after changing meds, was a thing of beauty.

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Friday, 11 March 2011 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link

i did this in high school once

was dying after two weeks tbh

brigitte beardo (donna rouge), Tuesday, 15 March 2011 03:35 (thirteen years ago) link

I did this in high school, too, over and over again. In fact, you could say that my high school years was one long involuntary abstinence ordeal.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 17:45 (thirteen years ago) link

An ex was on an anti-depressant that didn't diminish her libido at all, but she could not reach orgasm. Oral, penetration, vibrators without me present, nada.
I think that side effect made her depression worse.

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Thursday, March 10, 2011 7:12 PM (5 days ago)

has opposite effect on me

sarahel, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 18:02 (thirteen years ago) link

You have orgasms all the time but don't want to?

dom p's rusty Nuts (sic), Tuesday, 15 March 2011 21:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Or gets depressed by every orgasm she has?

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Tuesday, 15 March 2011 21:19 (thirteen years ago) link

only orgasms while depressed

HOOStory is back. Fasten your steenbelts. (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 00:35 (thirteen years ago) link

anytime ive sworn off jerking off i've gotten so much play

plax (ico), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 01:15 (thirteen years ago) link

funny, yeah, i've found that true, too.

scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass (the table is the table), Thursday, 17 March 2011 23:33 (thirteen years ago) link

admittedly, though, given my line of work a lot of times, i tend not to go too many days without having an orgasm. (i actually signed a contract stating that i don't get paid if i don't come).

scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass (the table is the table), Thursday, 17 March 2011 23:34 (thirteen years ago) link

anytime ive sworn off jerking off i've gotten so much play

― plax (ico), Tuesday, March 15, 2011 8:15 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

ha, ditto

never really understood that comic trope of "jerk off before you go out on a date" a la something about mary---feel like doing that would actually diminish the chances of gettin laid just because you'd be all "welp i came two hours ago so w/e"

FUN FUN FUN FUN (gbx), Thursday, 17 March 2011 23:41 (thirteen years ago) link

I thought that was so you wouldn't come too quickly if you did get laid.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 18 March 2011 00:40 (thirteen years ago) link

for me "not too quickly" usu becomes "not at all" if there was intermediate manual handling

loser beam (electricsound), Friday, 18 March 2011 00:41 (thirteen years ago) link

My husband does best if we get him off quickly in the beginning before the slow, loving foreplay starts. He's the type that can't come after long periods of stimulation.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 18 March 2011 01:04 (thirteen years ago) link

you'd be all "welp i came two hours ago so w/e"

― FUN FUN FUN FUN (gbx), Thursday, March 17, 2011 11:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

right i mean the tension is gone so you miss obvious signals and wind up going without anyway

not that i know anything abt this

HOOStory is back. Fasten your steenbelts. (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 18 March 2011 02:03 (thirteen years ago) link

of course not neither do i

FUN FUN FUN FUN (gbx), Friday, 18 March 2011 03:21 (thirteen years ago) link

I have failed massively at this challenge btw

corey, Friday, 18 March 2011 03:24 (thirteen years ago) link

ahahaha.

I thought that was so you wouldn't come too quickly if you did get laid.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 18 March 2011 00:40 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That's the theory, but:

1) as said, the will is reduced
2) if you do 'score', it's way easier to explain "ah, you are too awesome, that's why I came so quickly" as opposed to "It's not you" for the under-action...

Mark G, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:32 (thirteen years ago) link

(i actually signed a contract stating that i don't get paid if i don't come).

― scorpions on my nips and smear peanut butter on my ass (the table is the table), Thursday, 17 March 2011 23:34 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

strangest library job ever...

Mark G, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:33 (thirteen years ago) link

can't think of any job where you get paid if you don't come

dayo, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:37 (thirteen years ago) link

i was setting myself up for that, i guess. well, you all know what i meant.

bun fun times infinity (the table is the table), Friday, 18 March 2011 18:03 (thirteen years ago) link

-feel like doing that would actually diminish the chances of gettin laid just because you'd be all "welp i came two hours ago so w/e"

I have never felt like this ever.

A rather-kinky girl told a story once about ma making her partner go a week with no orgasms because she wanted to see how large of a load she could swallow.

boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Friday, 18 March 2011 20:04 (thirteen years ago) link

she must have felt really close to her to open up like that

ancient, but very sexy (DJP), Friday, 18 March 2011 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

oh I misread that, they were even closer than I thought

ancient, but very sexy (DJP), Friday, 18 March 2011 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

that girl sounds fun.

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Friday, 18 March 2011 20:39 (thirteen years ago) link

I think a reference to the urban legend about the cheerleader/random gay celebrity/whatever who had to get his/her stomach pumped after swallowing a massive amount of semen is needed here.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 18 March 2011 22:16 (thirteen years ago) link

i havent read this whole thread but this sort of experiment seems like it could put you on the fast track to testicular cancer.

calling planet dearth (sunny successor), Friday, 18 March 2011 22:29 (thirteen years ago) link

Even if you're a woman?

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 19 March 2011 05:15 (thirteen years ago) link

I dunno maybe swallowing cum gives you cancer who knows.

Oh wait.

bad voise, it sucked, pick a seat (Trayce), Saturday, 19 March 2011 05:51 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't think that it works that way SS.

ENBB, Saturday, 19 March 2011 12:15 (thirteen years ago) link

why risk it imo

the '' key on my keybord is not working (darraghmac), Saturday, 19 March 2011 12:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Would like to see how the Daily Mail handles this: "Abstinence Causes Cancer! So have lots of sex. Er, no wait... That doesn't fit in with out right wing agenda... FREE pr0n DVD for every reader!!!"

a murder rap to keep ya dancin, with a crime record like Keith Chegwin (snoball), Saturday, 19 March 2011 13:37 (thirteen years ago) link

I meant prostate cancer and yeah that is kind of how it works

calling planet dearth (sunny successor), Sunday, 20 March 2011 06:36 (thirteen years ago) link

isn't that only if you're older?

corey, Sunday, 20 March 2011 13:02 (thirteen years ago) link

Prostate problems mostly show up in older men, but he's right: The common American sex pattern of not touching your dick or letting anyone else touch your dick until you find True Love, having hot monkey sex lots and lots of times for several years, breaking up, and then letting your dick rot for a few more years until you find True Love again is not good for the prostate at all. Your body is set up for regular ejaculations, and yes, masturbation counts. (No, I don't have a recommended ejaculation frequency.)

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:13 (thirteen years ago) link

The common American sex pattern of not touching your dick or letting anyone else touch your dick until you find True Love, having hot monkey sex lots and lots of times for several years, breaking up, and then letting your dick rot for a few more years until you find True Love

I don't know if this is accurate...

corey, Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I should have said "traditional", not "common." That's really what I meant.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:22 (thirteen years ago) link

ah, that makes sense

corey, Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:24 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm really glad that the stigma against masturbation is much, much less than it once was.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:26 (thirteen years ago) link

well, once the priests started offering it instead of penance instead of three hail mary's.......

the '' key on my keybord is not working (darraghmac), Sunday, 20 March 2011 14:45 (thirteen years ago) link

...offering to give all the little boys personal private lessons in how to do it?

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 March 2011 22:39 (thirteen years ago) link


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