I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

'sup, ho's!

I have a little spare tire these days, more of an inflection than an actual tire. Bf was like "let's have a threesome with Mr. S____" and I was like sure, but give me a week to do a daily gym. "You look great, though"-- I know, but I want to feel great, not just look great. "Why do you care what you look like in front of a stranger you're having sex with"-- I cannot describe why that matters.

Vanity matters!

it don't pay bills!

speaking of the band ABC and also ppl we've had sex with

:O

with Vanity?

she was a pretty mess

she don't pay bills!

lmao it was w the short one who’s now like some hip beary photographer in NYC. He was the first person I hooked up with after I broke up with my ex last year.

holy hell i forgot about that

best story by my exiled friend Mark

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfgqaRtgL4e/?taken-by=markallennyc

i liked that! why was he exiled?

NYC too expensive, he's a hillbilly now

That story has been flopping around my head in the 12 hours since it was posted and I read it. This is why I can't stand hook-up culture, I don't like the idea that I might have sex with a person who's bad, and I also don't like the idea that I might have sex with a person who'd write about the experience and post it online. I felt nothing but empathy for that weird-looking trick

gays that have 10 random encounters per week be like "I hate hookups"

Did I ever tell you about the time my washing machine was broken so I took a bag to get done while I was at my mum's and forgot all about doing it. next time I went back she had not only washed and Ironed it but had darned a torn jockstrap (I don't play sports).

my tolerance for bullshit is at an all-time low people. i've nipped two fuck-buddies-possibly-becoming-more in the bud over the past three months because i caught a whiff of self-centered, emotionally manipulative behavior and i got no more time for that ever. feeling like the venn diagram between guys who have their personal shit together (or are at least making an effort to have it together) and guys who aren't assholes is very small.

i feel like i'm done with a years-long give-me-all-the-sex-possible phase. my desire to just put my dick in anyone i can find is much-reduced.

I never reached that conclusion independently, but age took care of that.

otoh I had a bangin' session with my composer boytoy for the first time in 10 months today, and i'm happier than a pig in cum.

Congratulations, Doctor!

really i'm just in a small town with crappy tourist trade and abysmal prospects. i just booked my naked hotel for leather pride weekend in palm springs though. i'm also thinking about getting a generic tribal tattoo, downloading a bunch of progressive trance and diving into a meth habit then recovering (just kidding). but in all seriousness anyone in socal with a g33 eitch b33 hookup please for the love of god hmu.

quite the turnaround!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N6rvkc7yQM

map, i wd do a badboy hangout w/ you if i was 20 years younger

i'm also thinking about getting a generic tribal tattoo, downloading a bunch of progressive trance and diving into a meth habit then recovering (just kidding).

just kidding about the recovery?

map let’s do g and dance to Patrick Cowley

(again)

I was just now in the presence of the Giorgio responsible for creating “I feel love” and it’s superseded the need for sex in my life in this moment. Even tho I’ve spermed adequately enough lately.

:o

I was a few hours ago in the presence of the kiwi who created "Tally Ho!" but it superseded nothing of the kind

i've made out with several boys under the age of 23 in the last week lol

Welcome to the club, papers are in the mail

I’ve never made out w anyone under 40

I've only made out with one man over 45.

Counting down the days til I turn 40 bb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nIc8I9gNeQ

i've only ever fucked men within like 1 or 2 years of me age wise in either direction. i've never been particularly attracted to men older than me tho i've found as my age rises so does that of the men i find attractive. these younger boys are kinda fun tho.

On Labor Day weekend I did a staycation at the Biltmore in Coral Gables for a night. My parents and nieces came over for dinner. After a glass of wine w/Mom at the bar mid-afternoon waiting for Dad, I took my nieces to the gift shop to buy expensive plush toys. The young man working the counter was a real prince to them, lavishing praise on their choices and especially the prices. We made eye contact and I asked him if he was working that night.

Several hours later after dinner, I hung out bullshitting with him at the shop. It was pretty dead. Turns out he was an FIU student, architecture major. We discussed the Troye Sivan album released earlier that day; this part is hazy because I was not sober. I did give him my room number. Fifteen minutes after eleven he knocked on my door. He took his shoes and socks off, which was strange: who takes their socks off first thing? We made out for a couple minutes. Then he stopped, buttoned his shirt, hugged me, thanked me for a nice night, and left. I think I came on too strong? idk

The socks thing was weird.

Musta been an ILX sock.

ILX socks have sharper tongues.

I’ve never made out w anyone under 40

This is where I'd put a clip of Woody Allen telling Mariel Hemingway, "I've always encouraged you to see boys your own age..."

Troye Sivan was briefly mentioned at this week's j0rdan-Morbz bar night, re that imminent Boy Erased movie.

Way too much young manflesh in that movie

guys I am kidding, I have made out with SO many ppl under 40

i was impressed

I turned 39 last week and my boyfriend turns 26 next week. Dating younger men sucks. I mean, I love him and we're like, gonna live together, it seems? But it sucks for my self-esteem. We work out together and his body just goes "sproing" and he looks like an action figure. I constantly worry that he's just gonna wake up one morning, regard my desiccated corpse-body, and be like "ya fuck this!"

or look at your desiccated corpse-body, and be like "ya fuck THIS!"

No TMI to share (I couldn't, I can't) but we're a year-and-a-half a couple today and it is really great, he is great, his problems are manageable, his qualities are too numerous to mention, I adore him

ah i'm bummed i missed this sudden flocking to the tmi well

i would totally do a bad boy hangout w/ morbs of 20 years ago. and i was kidding about generic tribal tattoos and meth, yuck. might have to stomp around to some progressive trance in palm springs tho. steve that was legit the highlight of 2017 for me.