I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

like is there a line out the door of dudes willing to crap on other dudes, just waiting to undercut someone holding out for $250

I want to know how it's itemised on the receipt.

he gave me a blowjob, the most excellent rimjob i've ever received, and then i shat in his mouth. $260, and that's pretty standard— it's not like i'm eating shit, cuz that's fucking disgusting.

his art collection was mostly gay erotica from the 70s and 80s, but he had two original Mapplethorpe prints (one of them went at auction for $70k recently) as well as some Peter Hujar and really lovely bronze statues.

also the guy lives like 15 minutes away.

what did you eat beforehand?

also the guy lives like 15 minutes away.

within shitting distance

i think it would be the easiest and most natural thing in the world showing up, having a drink, looking at some badass modern art, then having him show you his "speacial chair" and kind of laughing together at it then also maybe complimenting him on it, then getting down to business and taking clothes off and having him lay down and then getting to squeeze one out-- i think that would be pretty easy no problem.

but the thought of what the fuck i'd do next when i'm pantsless in some dude's house and he's lying on the ground with my shit on him gives me a panic attack so no i dont think i could shit on a guy for $200.

oh xposts

i mean, after i shat on him, he was like, 'okay, shower time for you.' took a quick shower, came out and my money was on the table, and then we talked about his art for 20 minutes.

did he have a cool shower

i love showering at other people's places or hotel rooms with cool showers

was he talking with his mouth full of shit or did he swallow first

i can't even

good question, dayo

he swallowed. and also kept on saying, "you have a sweet hole."

god, maybe i should just start a thread: 'table's adventures in escorting.'

please

jesus

'you have shitty breath, dude'

actually, i'm just not going to do that, and not going to post anymore about this sort of....shit. makes me feel weird.

okay, enough scat talk. i have a date with a cute punk boy this thursday.

hey gay dudes, what is your opinion on vaginas?

i don't think about them much tbh

that said, gay dudes who are all like EW VAGINAS are kind of the worst

I had never met anyone like that until a few weeks ago when I mentioned cunnilingus around 2 friends and their friends and they started acting all grossed out and squealy. I think it was the group setting in a gay bar that made them act so vocally squeamish.

vaginas are fine, i just don't want to eat them.

Huh, I was just about to post about cunnilingus.

cunnilingus is about as "gross" as eating asshole, isn't it?

The first time I did it, I licked out a glob of thickened (ah, what should I call it? "Pussy juice" is too crude, "natural lubrication" is too vague. You all know what I mean). I was grossed out for a second, and then I spit it out and went on.

Is it my imagination, or is going down on women more difficult than going down on men?

It's harder to put a hole in your mouth.

Not if it's a Life Saver.

god damn, stfu

Roxy, this is the second time you've done this. What's going on?

cunnilingus is about as "gross" as eating asshole, isn't it?

― =(^ • ‿‿ • ^)= (corey), Tuesday, January 4, 2011 7:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

i could answer this question if boys had vaginas

for the record I've never seen a vagina irl

i've seen a female crotch irl twice, but never an actual vagina & i don't really have any plans on it

i second roxy btw

y'all are trippin vaginas are the best

the actual taste of cunnilingus is closer to metal spoons dipped in butter
― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, July 28, 2003 5:35 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fish

u mad

y'all are trippin vaginas are the best

― gr8080, Tuesday, January 4, 2011 10:32 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

how did this thread get on this, anyway?

I dunno I'm trippin' vaginas bro

I'm going to shut up and wander off since that's not really ilx gay thread material. I've got nothing real to say here, gay men can be ambivalent about vaginas all day, it's cool.

yes but before you leave tell us what you think about dicks

irl i've seen vaginas probably five times. only three of those times were 'sex' involved.

y'all are trippin vaginas are the best

^^^

...but I'll drop this topic to avoid any problems.

the actual taste of cunnilingus is closer to metal spoons dipped in butter
― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, July 28, 2003 5:35 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://myspace.roflposters.com/images/rofl/myspace/1222656832699.jpg.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace.jpg

ban roxy and jordan from iltmi plz

tbrfr their negative hardbro schtick is fucking me off more than any other ilx poster and I wish they'd quit being the egotistical dickholes they seem so intent on being atm because they're alienating other ilxors and painting themselves in a really terrible light

what other posters?