You know the feeling. You've only been dating someone a short time, and they're awesome, and your stomach starts gurgling. There's no guest bathroom, just a bathroom in the significant other's room or close to it.
On the one hand, you are afraid your poupourri might ruin the romance of the evening, as you are relatively newly acquainted and not at the stage of discussing bodily functions or farting in front of each other. And the scent may sift into the bedroom.
But on the other hand, you feel that crapping yourself on a date might just be worse.
What do you do?
|To Hell with him/her! I'm nuking the bathroom, collateral damage be damned||5|
|Ask him/her if you can pick up dinner for them, then on the way, shit at the fast food place you go to (preferably in t||2|
|Shit in his/her mouth and blame it on the dog||2|
|Take Pepto Bismol and hope it goes away||1|
|Let out intermittent farts in secure parts of the house to ease the sphincter pressure||1|
|Shit yourself, because he/she's into that (suggest ban)||0|
|Shit on the carpet and blame it on the dog||0|
|Bomb the crap out of Iraq||0|
|Shit out in the yard and blame it on the dog||0|
― Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Friday, 9 April 2010 22:27 (eleven years ago)