At what age did you lose your virginity?

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Poll Results

OptionVotes
18 22
20 18
19 9
16 8
17 8
It hasn't happened yet 5
26 4
14 3
24 3
15 2
32 1
28 1
27 1
12 or before 1
22 1
21 1
13 1
36 0
37 0
38 0
39 0
40 or after 0
35 0
34 0
33 0
31 0
30 0
29 0
23 0
25 0


touch my bum / this is life (daavid), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

can't remember :(

I am using your worlds, Friday, 24 July 2009 01:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

Oh come on, you can't "can't remember".

touch my bum / this is life (daavid), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

the hell is going on with ilx this week.

http://tinyurl.com/6l76lz (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

that big ass eclipse.

Kerm, Friday, 24 July 2009 01:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

there's a board for this

blobfish russian (harbl), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

I Must Protest?

actually a decent question y'all fucked up with ironic bullshit answer (sarahel), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

i must protest boring polls more like

blobfish russian (harbl), Friday, 24 July 2009 01:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

Moved to ilTIM bcz of harbl & PP's comments and bcz 'sexually themed threads devolving into psychosexual meltdowns & character assaults' has been a thing lately (unfortunately); if this is a dumb overreaction I can move the classy talk of this exciting thredd back to ILE.

bad-boy cartographer (Abbott), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

:)

blobfish russian (harbl), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

dumb overreaction is what ilx does best

velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 02:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

17

Pancakes are one of my favorite ways to party. (ENBB), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

My mom always said, "If you don't use your talents, God will take them away."

bad-boy cartographer (Abbott), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

I was 19 and did it w/some grief & reluctance, tho compared to many of my female peers I feel I took care of it pretty late in the game (relatively).

bad-boy cartographer (Abbott), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

No reluctance on my part - I told my boyfriend at the time after we'd been dating about 10 months that I thought it was probably time.

Pancakes are one of my favorite ways to party. (ENBB), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

18 with a girl I didn't really give a shit about for the basic reason of just losing it. It was incredibly depressing.

riffed on by internet john krasinskis (circa1916), Friday, 24 July 2009 02:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

I was 26! kind of very late, but I guess the circumstances weren't on my side; all the girls I'd dated until then happened to be Catholic and serious about the no sex until marriage issue.

touch my bum / this is life (daavid), Friday, 24 July 2009 03:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

...don't remember it being a big deal for me though, I wasn't in a hurry, it just occasionally felt awkward to be a virgin at that age.

touch my bum / this is life (daavid), Friday, 24 July 2009 03:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

19

Rostam Batmang (The Reverend), Friday, 24 July 2009 04:00 (nine years ago) Permalink

18 with a girl I didn't really give a shit about for the basic reason of just losing it. It was incredibly depressing.

― riffed on by internet john krasinskis (circa1916), Thursday, July 23, 2009 7:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Clay, Friday, 24 July 2009 04:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

20

J0rdan S., Friday, 24 July 2009 07:50 (nine years ago) Permalink

20 - my bf had just been in a car accident and it was a good way to relieve the tension.

actually a decent question y'all fucked up with ironic bullshit answer (sarahel), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

16

BIG HOOS's wacky crack variety hour (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

she was 18 and nuts

BIG HOOS's wacky crack variety hour (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 24 July 2009 07:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

14

Code Ten Abbott (country matters), Friday, 24 July 2009 08:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

;-)

Code Ten Abbott (country matters), Friday, 24 July 2009 08:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

so you're only 16 years old?

actually a decent question y'all fucked up with ironic bullshit answer (sarahel), Friday, 24 July 2009 08:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

Pretty young, but I don't regret it. Boyfriend of the time was lovely, and is still one of my best friends in the world.

emil.y, Friday, 24 July 2009 11:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

poll should have been called "carry me back to old virginity"

velko, Friday, 24 July 2009 16:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^best part about this entire thread, and board so far

Mr. Que, Friday, 24 July 2009 16:48 (nine years ago) Permalink

I didn't 'lose' it, I just mislaid it.

Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Friday, 24 July 2009 16:48 (nine years ago) Permalink

18 and one week (practically 17, really) with a beautiful girl that i loved, and stayed with for another six years.

Bobkate Goldtwat (darraghmac), Friday, 24 July 2009 18:52 (nine years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 23:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

wonder why 18 and 20 got the most votes, but 19 got far less ...

free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

19-year-olds got cooties.

Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

It's the disparity between 20 and 21 that what happened, I am confuses me

One idiot even called me "redcoat" because I'm (country matters), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

wonder why 18 and 20 got the most votes, but 19 got far less ...

19 still got the third most votes?

Lamp, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

srsly 21, 22 and 23 = uhhhh

One idiot even called me "redcoat" because I'm (country matters), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

xp Mine was pretty close to my 21st birthday, actually. I think it was right after his and before mine. We were two weeks apart. We also wore the same size shoes.

Yeah it got 9, but the graph would not look like a normal distribution.

free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

26 is really the weirdest outlier i think

well lol poll results with this sample size but the basic trend is still right w/ 19 @ 9 its the mid/l8 20s bump that really fucks the dist

Lamp, Wednesday, 29 July 2009 23:11 (nine years ago) Permalink

I was 18 too, and thought I was way too old to be a virgin (almost all of my close friends had already had sex). The girl I was with was nice enough and the experience itself was not unpleasant at all, but it soon became obvious there was no real spark between us, so the whole thing ended within days and we never had sex for the second time.

Tuomas, Thursday, 30 July 2009 07:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

I don't know if I feel relieved or saddened that one person was younger than me. :-/

Your Mother Smells Of Elderflower (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 30 July 2009 09:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

A friend of mine lost his to a 30-something Polish woman. She preceded it by saying 'I will destroy you'

gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

And I know another dude who lost his during a Godspeed gig in Greece.

gnarly sceptre, Friday, 31 July 2009 14:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

So here's a question: at what age does one go from being simply "a virgin" to being a proper "adult virgin."

EDB, Thursday, 12 July 2012 22:42 (six years ago) Permalink

25

Neil Jung (WmC), Friday, 13 July 2012 00:26 (six years ago) Permalink

I guess I felt 25 was 'last of the adult age mileposts' because you can rent a car but that makes it even more depressing

Team Safeword (Abbbottt), Friday, 13 July 2012 02:06 (six years ago) Permalink

Xposts: haha, I (living in Toronto, no less) met someone on OkCupid and together bonded over our mutual fondness for "Pony." If only I had any interest in actually dating her, though! (Ain't that how it works...)

Also, I have no interest in any sort of special first time - if it was possible I'd skip over the first time altogether - but to have the basic training if and when I'm called to duty.

I think I'd be ok. I just need to remember the scene from "Houseguest" where Sinbad teaches the adolescent son to drive, telling him you have to hold the wheel like you would caress a woman. This scene was instrumental in teaching me to drive, and I don't doubt Sinbad will help me again.

Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Tuesday, 29 October 2013 04:06 (five years ago) Permalink

maybe get a lap dance and see if you finish?

― your face comes with coleslaw (Neanderthal)

i mean, do you want intimacy and to have it be special? Or do you want experience under your belt so you feel confident IN dating?

― homosexual II

do you have to walk around the rest of the night with that experience under your belt?

Zachary Taylor, Tuesday, 29 October 2013 05:54 (five years ago) Permalink

well, so ok I have only contributed joke answers to this thread but I'm pretty fuckin high right now and [whoever the virgin posters are I forget] let me tell you I was a pretty late bloomer, due entirely to my own timidity, and then I lost it and woo adult sexuality

which was GREAT

and but now I've fallen into a weird spinster situation the last few years and there are sometimes parties but nothing happens and I've developed a really unhelpful crush on a particular person (and his girlfriend) and basically just loosen up and go for it before your circle of friends constricts

Jesus (wins), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 01:54 (five years ago) Permalink

queue's up "Bookends Theme"...

I was 17, she was my first girlfriend, she was 14. I spent most of my youth as a fat pig and my first three years of high school in Catholic school and no one gave me the time of day. I got thrown out of catholic school and went back to public school...during the summmer I lost a bunch of weight. When I arrived at new school as new skinny kid in Smiths t-shirts the ladies came out of the woodwork.

It was new years eve 1992, i put on disintegration and we made hot gothic love for 30 seconds. Not memorable at all. Everytime after that (which was constantly, because we fucked like rabbits) was pretty good. Until one night I went to pick her up on a date and I got to her house and saw her on all fours through the window getting plowed from behind by someone else. Hence my trust issues to this day.

She gobbled, cold swallowed my one's like Greedy Gretchen. (thebingo), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 14:15 (five years ago) Permalink

do you have to walk around the rest of the night with that experience under your belt?

― Zachary Taylor, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 1:54 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

your face comes with coleslaw (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 30 October 2013 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

O_O

twist boat veterans for stability (k3vin k.), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:01 (five years ago) Permalink

freelancers be talking about their virginity

le goon (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:04 (five years ago) Permalink

http://www.salon.com/2013/11/13/im_a_26_year_old_virgin/

le goon (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:04 (five years ago) Permalink

Two years ago, I flew to Chicago to be painted nude by an ex-boyfriend who is an artist. The weekend was richly romantic and sexual, but masochistic in so many ways. I put myself in the bed of the man whom I had long dreamed about. Would he have been the one if I had connected with him sexually? During our reunion weekend, I never wanted someone so badly, yet I denied myself. I walked away with some sketches and left him with a few to paint from, selfishly hoping I was planting a seed for another visit. I’m still waiting.

writing this article about your virginity is a really long way of getting to the point, lady

sweat pea (La Lechera), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:06 (five years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/e1BT7G4.jpg

Caption: Not a sex haver

乒乓, Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:12 (five years ago) Permalink

Feel like proclaiming that you're a virgin is the new "I don't even OWN a TV!*"

*There is evidence that "I don't even OWN a SMARTPHONE!" may also have a claim

乒乓, Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Dear New York Times Forum -- you won't believe it, but this really did happen to me a couple of years ago in Chicago...

He got...JACKED UP!!!!! (WilliamC), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:25 (five years ago) Permalink

I’m a pretty typical 26-year-old male. I’ve been to more than 150 rock concerts. My father and I watched Tiger Woods win all 14 of his major championships. I have a few tattoos. Like most 20-somethings, I’m working on finding myself, whatever that means, and I’m swimming in student loan debt. But I am unique in one way, and it’s not my red hair.

I have never had sex.

It’s not because I haven’t had a girlfriend. All through high school I dated someone, or chased someone depending on whom you ask. For the past four years, I’ve been with the same girl, and we’re getting married in the summer of 2015. She’s a 24-year-old wedding photographer who’s also never had sex. It’s no wonder we found each other, right?

What might be even more surprising is that we aren’t abstaining because of religion, rebellion or any kooky anti-sex group. It’s actually a decision I made all by myself.

^ gayyy

ͼѾͽ (sic), Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:37 (five years ago) Permalink

might be on the spectrum, that is a lot of numbers spewed out for no reason

mh, Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:51 (five years ago) Permalink

I mean, what does watching golf with your dad have to do with anything? That reads as "I spend a lot of free time with my parents" to me

mh, Thursday, 14 November 2013 22:52 (five years ago) Permalink

i like how that article starts off like he's cool with being a virgin but quickly devolves to bashing the nickleback-supporting homophobe strawmen who make fun of him

chilli, Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:16 (five years ago) Permalink

the guy in the article jordan posted seems normal if maybe a little conservative for whatever reason, but the NYT chick i think is actually a psychopath

twist boat veterans for stability (k3vin k.), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:18 (five years ago) Permalink

or, yknow, writes like one for money

golfdinger (darraghmac), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:33 (five years ago) Permalink

I can' help but RMDE at all this "saving myself" business. Not just for the typical reason of self-congratulatory asceticism being tedious, but, like, my celibacy is involuntary, these people are just rubbing it in.

Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:57 (five years ago) Permalink

NYT chick i think is actually a psychopath
she's an esl teacher named amanda, what did you expect

sweat pea (La Lechera), Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:58 (five years ago) Permalink

aww

mh, Friday, 15 November 2013 02:05 (five years ago) Permalink

Virgin Psychopath would be a neat ilx username

tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 15 November 2013 02:32 (five years ago) Permalink

Better cocktail name imo

golfdinger (darraghmac), Friday, 15 November 2013 02:33 (five years ago) Permalink

xpost to myself: I think what I meant to say is that those people are basically virginity trolls.

Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Friday, 15 November 2013 03:48 (five years ago) Permalink

Deems otm

tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Friday, 15 November 2013 03:52 (five years ago) Permalink

eight months pass...

At 26 with no end in sight, this is getting increasingly old...

ed.b, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 01:04 (four years ago) Permalink

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special. Hire a prostitute or something.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:12 (four years ago) Permalink

yea plus aren't there like a bunch of casual sex hookup apps where you can find people in your neighborhood to fuck?

marcos, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:18 (four years ago) Permalink

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea. (Admittedly, I think it's always a terrible idea.)

JRN, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 20:57 (four years ago) Permalink

I know it's hard not to think about if it's a preoccupation, but maybe the thread isn't helping? I don't know, man, I think you need to try something new.

mh, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 21:52 (four years ago) Permalink

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special

This is definitely not my concern, I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon. Mostly I just feel like complaining.

ed.b, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:00 (four years ago) Permalink

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

You're probably right. It's just something I've seen in movies and on tv.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:13 (four years ago) Permalink

I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon.

Well yeah, this sucks, especially if that solitude isn't a choice.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:15 (four years ago) Permalink

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

That's easy for you to say, not everyone knows how to talk to strangers/women/potential relationship candidates. Not everyone took part in the whole dating thing when they were growing up.

So, in short, I disagree. Don't wait until you're 41 like msome people. When it's such a big deal in your head, all you care about is knowing what it's all about. No strings attached (except the one she's wearing, perhaps), no need to act like you're social, just you finding out how it feels. Sure, you'll feel guilty, sure, it won't be as great as it looks in porn, but in the end, you'll know. And that was the point. You won't become a different person or anything, you'll just know.

At least, that's just something I've seen in movies and on tv as well, obviously.

StanM, Tuesday, 29 July 2014 22:33 (four years ago) Permalink

You'll learn something about the mechanics of sex, but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you. That seems like a bad thing in general, closely related to the ethical problems with prostitution, and especially bad for a first sexual experience.

JRN, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:41 (four years ago) Permalink

that's really on your own baggage. it's hard to divest if it's part of you and you haven't had any sex. but really, you can have enthusiastic consensual sex with a stranger or pro or whatever and have a good time

mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:48 (four years ago) Permalink

The idea that good sex requires love and obligation and a guilt complex is uhhh, fine if that works for you but don't foist that on others.

mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:49 (four years ago) Permalink

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/85783-19426.jpg

mookieproof, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:50 (four years ago) Permalink

i don't think jrn's position has to be about love and obligation and a guilt complex though. it's true that first time sex (whether overall first time or with a new partner) isn't a big deal but the reason it's not a big deal is perhaps less about some brutally objective physical fact than it is that when you're with someone you're comfortable around, and there's some distinct mutual feeling, then intimacy and sex are pretty easy.

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 31 July 2014 02:54 (four years ago) Permalink

mh, could you explain how you interpreted my post as opposing casual sex? I'm really curious.

JRN, Thursday, 31 July 2014 03:06 (four years ago) Permalink

i can't imagine having sex with a prostitute and not feeling paralyzed with self-consciousness about the fact that they (probably) aren't attracted to me. this seems like awful advice for a first timer.

Treeship, Thursday, 31 July 2014 03:46 (four years ago) Permalink

How do you feel when you imagine having sex with a non-prostitute?

boney tassel (sic), Thursday, 31 July 2014 07:58 (four years ago) Permalink

but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you

If you're having casual sex, you're doing it to have sex and not feel deep love and romantic feelings and the like? And presumably the other person does want you (to have casual sex with them). Saying that you're missing something _essential_ misses the point that it's _casual sex_.

mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:30 (four years ago) Permalink

but jrn's saying that "essential part" is missing in sex with a prostitute, not (necessarily) in casual sex

Merdeyeux, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:38 (four years ago) Permalink

sex is just a body thing when you get down to it. something that just happens on a different level than things like acceptance, love, or any of that shit. we add all those different layers to it because that's what we do. is there any great meaning behind whether someone's body wants to fuck you? if you imagine you're a sex god i guess i could see that as important. or have some great need to be accepted unconditionally by every person you want to screw.

i've had casual sex where i didn't give a crap about the other person, and vice versa. it's just fun with someone else. then you part ways. costs about $6 in beer. it all depends on what you want and feel comfortable with, but there's nothing great or special about what sex is. it's just our bodies doing their thing.

Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:44 (four years ago) Permalink

and there's the other end of the continuum

mh, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:50 (four years ago) Permalink

i wouldn't see a prostitute, personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with that. my taste is that the other person having fun is part of me having fun. has to be mutual. but it doesn't make you a shit person if you really want to get off and you see someone who can help you with that for money. might even be good for you as long as you're safe about it.

Spectrum, Thursday, 31 July 2014 13:53 (four years ago) Permalink

Several years back I knew a woman who *loved* having sex with first-timers, especially older ones, guys who were shy, uncomfortable talking with women, or clueless about how to initiate a relationship, but were generally nice guys. She would all but offer herself up to anyone she knew to be a virgin as long as they were nice to her and not repulsive. When I asked her why, she said these men always treated her so well and made her feel important, because she was important to them. She was also amazed at how good they were in bed, perhaps because they'd spent so long just thinking about sex, asking their friends about it, or reading up on it.

I wonder how common this is.

Lee626, Friday, 1 August 2014 13:10 (four years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah7VxQHs-gI

StanM, Friday, 1 August 2014 14:33 (four years ago) Permalink


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