excellent shits that i have taken

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eating soup comprised of chinese cabbage, lentils, bananas, cashews, and curry powder for two days straight has given me the BEST SHIT EVER. chunky yet smooth, clean wipes. and i do mean clean, like theres nothing on the paper. beautiful.

share your excellent shits, sil vous plait.

, Monday, 26 January 2009 20:05 (ten years ago) link

picture thread

CLAPSOCK (John Justen), Monday, 26 January 2009 20:06 (ten years ago) link

I usually prefer to leave them.

Surfjan Stevens (libcrypt), Monday, 26 January 2009 23:31 (ten years ago) link

share your excellent shits, sil vous plait.

Sure, what's your mail address?

Tuomas, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 12:52 (ten years ago) link

bee en pee membership list.txt

snoball, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 13:23 (ten years ago) link

Surely a BNP member would choose a different username?

Tuomas, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 14:41 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I took a dump so giant that the piece of poop clogged the toilet. ;_;

i'm shy (Abbott), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 19:08 (ten years ago) link

^^^crapatoa

mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 February 2009 19:13 (ten years ago) link

I hate it when the toilet gets clogged while you're taking a crap and then you have to try to unclog it without getting your hands into shit. It's especially awkward if it happens somewhere else than your home.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 10 February 2009 21:36 (ten years ago) link

I usually prefer to leave them.

Biting George Carlin. I approve.

"I left a shit, Bill."
"Jeez, where'd you leave it this time? Last year the kid's didn't find it until Easter."

Bad Banana On Broadway (kenan), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 22:02 (ten years ago) link

http://blog.kenlei.com/wp-images/toilet_snorkel.jpg

cat anatomy expert (ledge), Tuesday, 10 February 2009 22:33 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

4, 3, 4, 4, 4 & 5, 3, 4

Wallace Shawn poll hos (gnarly sceptre), Friday, 3 April 2009 18:02 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Not excellent really, but have you ever got one that coiled right back around and bumped you? This has happened to me twice in recent months, and never in my preceding 30 years. Hope I'm okay.

My Neighbor Toronto (kingkongvsgodzilla), Tuesday, 21 April 2009 12:28 (ten years ago) link

The secret is not to squat so close to the ground. Or the letterbox.

snoball, Tuesday, 21 April 2009 12:31 (ten years ago) link

btw, this:

Mark Clemente wrote this on thread people who poop first thing at work in the morning on board I Love Everything on Aug 23, 2007

Steel-cut oats for breakfast everyday. I think I'm pretty healthy, evidenced by the nice coils in the toilet and the fact that I'm going at 9:15-9:30 every morning. (not to give you a specific image of the physical result of my 10-15 minute workout.)

My Neighbor Toronto (kingkongvsgodzilla), Wednesday, 22 April 2009 01:40 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

Managed one this morning that was as wide as a beer bottle and shaped like a Zeppelin

snoball, Tuesday, 26 May 2009 19:33 (ten years ago) link

seven months pass...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y109/fez_/IMG_2533.jpg

i think i shat a penis :   0

, Friday, 1 January 2010 21:21 (nine years ago) link

O

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

M

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

F

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

G

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

OOOOOOOOOO

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

MMMMMMMMMM

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:24 (nine years ago) link

FFFFFFFFFF

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:25 (nine years ago) link

GGGGGGGGGG

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:25 (nine years ago) link

mmmmmfgggggg how did that fit inside you

welcome to gudbergur (harbl), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:33 (nine years ago) link

how is babby formed?

sarahel, Friday, 1 January 2010 21:37 (nine years ago) link

Things have been taken to a new level.

I X Love (Abbott), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:42 (nine years ago) link

holy shit

12 inches of (snoball), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:44 (nine years ago) link

Things have been taken to a new level.

this is truly some n/l shit

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:52 (nine years ago) link

:-(

t(o_o)t (ENBB), Saturday, 2 January 2010 14:37 (nine years ago) link

where did u get such an oddly shaped toilet

deej, Sunday, 3 January 2010 01:10 (nine years ago) link

Weird mental image of penis poop fucking the toilet hole get OUT of my head

http://i49.tinypic.com/fc37kg.jpg

Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Sunday, 3 January 2010 01:35 (nine years ago) link

Thanks! Unpleasant mental image piled on top of unpleasant mental image... And why is it that every time I look at this thread, it jumps straight to that toilet bowl picture? aaaaaarrrrgrh!

an executive by day and a wild man by night (snoball), Sunday, 3 January 2010 10:45 (nine years ago) link

where did u get such an oddly shaped toilet

― deej

It's clearly European. Also the contents are European. Giant, nearly flesh-colored, steeped in a dark, murky broth -- definitely not an American shit. That might even be an Eastern European shit.

kenan, Sunday, 3 January 2010 11:05 (nine years ago) link

the type 4 shit floating on top used to be a mcdonalds burger though.

, Sunday, 3 January 2010 11:17 (nine years ago) link

Did it, now.

kenan, Sunday, 3 January 2010 11:18 (nine years ago) link

you sure do know a lot about the geographic origins of shits kenan

deej, Sunday, 3 January 2010 18:57 (nine years ago) link

Look here at my map...

kenan, Sunday, 3 January 2010 18:58 (nine years ago) link

http://www.kkn.net/~k5tr/photo/ke5c/1emebig.jpg

kenan

sarahel, Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:02 (nine years ago) link

looks a tiny bit like a shaven JJ xpost

hoos rotorvator (acoleuthic), Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:02 (nine years ago) link

LJ - Lol, you're right!

sarahel, Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:03 (nine years ago) link

looks a tiny bit like a shaven JJ

Yeah sure I shave my... oh I see what you meant. No offense, JJ.

kenan, Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:35 (nine years ago) link

three months pass...

totally clean, like a torpedo being shot out of a submarine

Convenience Fish (snoball), Thursday, 8 April 2010 12:03 (nine years ago) link

Not excellent really, but have you ever got one that coiled right back around and bumped you? This has happened to me twice in recent months, and never in my preceding 30 years. Hope I'm okay.

― My Neighbor Toronto (kingkongvsgodzilla), Tuesday, April 21, 2009 8:28 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark

surely...this must be...an urban...legend...

fuck in rainbows, after it rains (dyao), Thursday, 8 April 2010 12:06 (nine years ago) link

perhaps...you have...been eating...slinkies...for breakfast??

fuck in rainbows, after it rains (dyao), Thursday, 8 April 2010 12:07 (nine years ago) link

good god

Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Friday, 9 April 2010 03:26 (nine years ago) link

caption: "I give myself the horn"

Convenience Fish (snoball), Friday, 9 April 2010 10:32 (nine years ago) link

10th grade. used to always take a shit before cross country practice. through trial and error i found that the boys bathroom at the far end of the special ed wing was always the cleanest and least frequented. so that's where i'd always go. one day, i entered my usual stall only to find that someone hadn't flushed. then i noticed why they hadn't flushed. it's cause they couldn't have flushed. in the bowl lay a turd about the size of a small grapefruit, or a very large baseball. it appeared to be perfectly spherical. i couldn't look away. making it all the more amazing was the fact there was NO TOILET PAPER occupying the bowl. just the freakish large, geometrically impossible piece of shit, and some water. absolutely unbelievable. but i had to wonder, what kind of an ass did this come out of, anyway? can asses stretch that large, or did this thing begin as a series of smaller shits that the shitee then reached in and molded into a solid shitball? i didn't want to know, i never found out anyway, and our junior varsity cross country team took 5th place at the state finals that year!!!

iiiijjjj, Saturday, 10 April 2010 02:51 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A54ZQQlusRo

steev reich (Curt1s Stephens), Saturday, 10 April 2010 02:53 (nine years ago) link

I pretty much laid down a baseball bat during one rough bowel movement last year....

Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Saturday, 10 April 2010 04:02 (nine years ago) link

This story relayed to me by an acquaintance many years ago, so I can't be sure of the details. Anyway, acquaintance (call him F) goes paintballing with his friends, and his side split into pairs so they can cover each other more effectively. F and his partner N are out in the woods for a while, when suddenly N says "I gotta take a shit right now - keep watch to make sure that no-one shoots me while I'm tooling one off!". F keeps watch while N goes behind some bushes. Suddenly he hears N shouting, goes to see what the trouble is, and sees N standing on a tree stump, squatting, with a two foot long turd dangling out of his backside.
So in summary, I can believe ur baseball bat sized excrement story.

Convenience Fish (snoball), Saturday, 10 April 2010 08:09 (nine years ago) link

that is what's known as "laying down a bunt"

Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Saturday, 10 April 2010 12:57 (nine years ago) link

have the rumblings post burrito/chimichanga. bets using the Bristol STool chart?

I'm going to wager #4...

Phoenix in Flight (Cattle Grind), Saturday, 10 April 2010 21:31 (nine years ago) link

six years pass...

http://i.imgur.com/1wNpE1Z.jpg

Pretzel on Paper, 2016.

Wes Brodicus, Sunday, 11 December 2016 15:16 (two years ago) link

four months pass...

The lyrics to "TAISO" by the Yellow Magic Orchestra are actually instructions for defecating in an amazing way

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 26 April 2017 00:00 (two years ago) link

One time a while back I was absently humming a tune while I shat and it wasn't until afterwards that I realized the tune was Chuck Mangione's 'Feel So Good'. My subconscious knew what was up.

Crackers and Snacks (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 26 April 2017 00:03 (two years ago) link


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