The magic of a perfect bowel movement

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I have the relationship of a 75-year-old person with my bowels. So emotional!

And sometimes a great BM is the world's best feeling.

Abbott, Sunday, 28 September 2008 21:36 (fifteen years ago) link

man, i feel u on this one

i love this thread

cankles, Sunday, 28 September 2008 21:43 (fifteen years ago) link

No reading, ever. I want to know each moment, as they come...

PooPooWheelie (unregistered), Sunday, 28 September 2008 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link

sooooo true. i think i'll go create some magic right now :)

lil yawne (harbl), Sunday, 28 September 2008 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link

My concern is more over toilet paper habits. Usually those who have a difficult time flushing are the one's who treat the toilet paper roll like cats, batting at the thing with their claws non-stop until there's a mountain, then dropping it into the bowel.

Fold people, fold

Toilet Painter (unregistered), Sunday, 28 September 2008 21:52 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't allow myself much self-pity and when I do, I try to keep it to myself, at the very least, maybe sharing with my wife.

However, that year between having a portion of my colon removed and all the crazy stuff that happened afterward took away one of the true joys in life - the magic of a perfect bowel movement.

I'm just now getting back to where I was before 7/11/07, and let me tell you, it's been a journey of many steps toward what hopefully one day will once again be a fantastic reward. In the meantime, I take comfort in the small advances I make and I certainly don't take anything for granted.

I mean, I've felt like a goddam rabbit for the past year.

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 28 September 2008 23:58 (fifteen years ago) link

That seriously sucks. PP, I wish you a lifetime's supply of flawlessly-sculpted poop logs and Ben Watt's shoulder to cry on.

a fecal well-wisher (unregistered), Monday, 29 September 2008 03:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Pooping 3-4 times per day tends to make the BMs a fuck of a lot less special.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Monday, 29 September 2008 03:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Morning. Afternoon. Evening.

And if I'm a really good boy, a bonus BM at an unexpected time.

Tetragram for Holding Back (libcrypt), Monday, 29 September 2008 03:41 (fifteen years ago) link

I mean, yeah, all that said, I do get a lot of reading done these days.

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 29 September 2008 04:15 (fifteen years ago) link

damn you crohn's disease

Cletus Tiffins (Curt1s Stephens), Monday, 29 September 2008 04:55 (fifteen years ago) link

just delivered a lil' lovely unto the god of the porcelain lo 'bout an hour ago. ahhh, baby; so pretty...

I’ll leave the 'song' dissection to G*** and his 'disciples' (Ioannis), Monday, 29 September 2008 09:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I am a very lucky guy in this regard.

Pretty much the only memorable part of The Fisher King for me is Robin Williams talking about the "Mystic Shit."

Radiant Flowering Crab (Rock Hardy), Monday, 29 September 2008 16:40 (fifteen years ago) link

It feels good to release a heavy turd but it feels even better to receive one in your hands.

a fecal well-fisher (unregistered), Tuesday, 30 September 2008 22:37 (fifteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

one in the hands is worth two in the bush

RESPECTABLE SIR (PappaWheelie V), Tuesday, 21 October 2008 03:54 (fifteen years ago) link

DUH, I meant a turd in the hand is worth two in the bush

I REQUEST U PLEASE GIVE ME A GUESS PAPERS (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 24 October 2008 05:10 (fifteen years ago) link

I wish my apt had one of those gravity johns so I didn't have to plunge the fuckin thing every time I go #2

TOMBOT, Friday, 24 October 2008 05:31 (fifteen years ago) link

seriously my gf got a brand new gravity crapper installed in her condo a while ago and that thing will probably swallow a rolled-up pair of wool socks without complaining. the shitcan in my basement one bedroom can barely handle one of my dinkleberries without predicating a work order

TOMBOT, Friday, 24 October 2008 05:33 (fifteen years ago) link

sounds like a shitty toilet!

skeletal lexing (Finefinemusic), Friday, 24 October 2008 14:08 (fifteen years ago) link

i once left a guy in the toilet at college that actually bridged the drain on the toilet bowl, and simply would not be flushed. it just sat there.

roommates and i named it 'parker' and took turns pissing on it, cuz the stream acted like a saw doo u c

my other son is a zamboni (gbx), Tuesday, 28 October 2008 18:14 (fifteen years ago) link

"a guy"

caek, Tuesday, 28 October 2008 18:16 (fifteen years ago) link


horrible (harbl), Tuesday, 28 October 2008 20:13 (fifteen years ago) link

have you ever made one so big you're like "whoa how did that fit inside me and how did it get out"

not that i have, just asking. out of curiosity.

horrible (harbl), Tuesday, 28 October 2008 20:15 (fifteen years ago) link

four years pass...

constipation --> its horrific opposite --> constipation --> its horrific opposite

^side effects ride on my drug regimen; Happy New Year

saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Monday, 31 December 2012 03:04 (eleven years ago) link

I am certain that my institution has downgraded toilet paper brands in the past month, making every bowel movement "imperfect".

how's life, Monday, 31 December 2012 15:49 (eleven years ago) link

why do I have this thread bookmarked

Dan I., Monday, 31 December 2012 17:49 (eleven years ago) link

confused as to why tp brand or quality has anything to do with the perfect bowel movement, after which (as we all know) only a one-square-wipe is required (and that only for reassurance)

slitherin sockattacks (darraghmac), Monday, 31 December 2012 18:09 (eleven years ago) link

seven years pass...

lockdown has been good to me in some regards

kim rong un (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 09:24 (four years ago) link

- jaysus that shite was as good as a ride

― talking heads, quiet smith (darraghmac), Wednesday, September 21, 2011 9:02 PM (eight years ago)

donald failson (sic), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 11:14 (four years ago) link

weve all had one cmon

kim rong un (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 11:43 (four years ago) link

just wondering if lockdown is being that good to you

donald failson (sic), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 12:10 (four years ago) link

the bishop wouldnt ask you that

kim rong un (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 12:47 (four years ago) link

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